i watched Wolverine there a MONTH before its release....special effects were not even finished...found it by accident...and didn't know the release date....and i'm thinkin'....that don't look too good....then i relised it wasn't out for another MONTH !.

Fan-Boys hated it...i thought it was "o.k." TERMINATOR SALVATION sucked ass though.

I'm a fanboy and I loved it.

Well,...i thought it was good.

i couldn't see what was "wrong" with it,...but guys at www.aintitcool.com were calling it a "turd" !.

so i figured,"jeeez,they must've blended characters or something....something i don't know about !".

i recommend it to people!

oh! or are you talking TERMY?

Thanks for the links. My connection is starting to really piss me off. It's saying that my computer isn't connected even though my modem is showing full connectivity. It's really starting to bug me because it comes on long enough for me to click a link but then dies while it's halfway loaded.

Some of the movie have a weird thing going on to....where you might have to pause it,so the load "line" is just in front of the play "line" under its screen....It really is trial & error...

oh ! and be warned that the subtitles in DISTRICT 9 are in "Russian".....so,the aliens....i had to guess all their dialogue....which wasn't so great ! but damn ! it was for free....so shut my mouth.

And that waiting thing...isn't that wierd. It's called buffering. You have to let the movie load a little because it's probibly playing faster than it can "buffer".

I meant Wolverine.

Mk...everything works except if I try to download something, upload something, or go to a website that I havn't been to before, my connection craps out for a split second and it's starting to tick me off. Time to go GEEK on this piece of shit (excuse the language. Just a little frustrated)

And that waiting thing...isn't that wierd. It's called buffering. You have to let the movie load a little because it's probibly playing faster than it can "buffer".

oh yeah,...but some of them...the buffer/ play ratio is pretty close {like 2mm}and works well.....but,then there's ones from the japanese hosting places...the ENTIRE movie has to buffer/load before it plays !!!.

Yeah. Especially if it's from... um... crud... forgot what it's called. Oh well, it's like some kind of Chinese of Korean (Dang Tao... or something like that?) host thing. Anyways, I know what you're talking about.

glad someone understands me...

you just got a high score.

My computer put up a good fight but I was able to best it. Mwah ha ha haaaa! My connection is working flawlessly again!!!!


Are you stil on, mentalmelvin? Nevermind. Stupid question. Little thing by your name is green.

A small guy goes into an elevator, when he gets in he notices a huge dude standing next to him.

The big dude looks down upon the small guy and says: "7 foot tall, 350 pounds, Turner Brown"

The small white guy faints!

The big dude picks up the small guy, brings him to, slapping his face and shaking him, and asks the small guy. "What's wrong?"

The small white guy says, "Excuse me but what did you say?"

The big dude looks and says "7 foot tall, 350 pounds, my name is Turner Brown."

The small guy says, "Thank god, I thought you said 'Turn around'."

There were these twins, Jim and John. Jim was the owner of an old dilapidated boat. It just so happened that John's wife died the same day Jim's boat sank.

A few days later, a kindly old woman saw Jim and mistaking him for John said "I'm sorry to hear about your loss. You must feel terrible."

Jim, thinking she was talking about his boat said "Fact is I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing from the beginning. Her bottoms was all shriveled up and she smelled like an old dead fish. She was always losing her water, she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, the hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy.

I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to these four guys looking for a good time. I warned them she wasn't very good, but they wanted to use her anyhow. The fools all tried to get in her at once and she split right up the middle"

The old woman fainted.

lol yeah i'm online,...but got a tonne of windows open....an emails coming at me like an convicts only bukkake party....

A guy was sitting in a bar when a stranger walked up to him and asked, "If you woke up in the woods and scratched your butt and felt vasoline, would you tell anyone?"

"Hell no!" the guy said.

The stranger then asked, "If you felt further into your crack and pulled out a used condom, would you tell anyone?"

The man said, "Of course not."

"Wanna go camping?"

lol

funny pics

Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back...or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....

FIRST TESTIMONY: I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say a word...he knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY: I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."

THIRD TESTIMONY: My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my Sister has never let me forget.

FOURTH TESTIMONY: While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don' t let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.

FIFTH TESTIMONY: Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean.Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No". I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled, "SEE MOM,IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

LAST TESTIMONY: This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any....a true story... We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

Three mice are sitting at a bar. The first is Scottish, the second Irish, and the third German.

They just got out of a football game and are trying to decide who is the toughest.

The Scotish mouse looks at the other two then slams a shot of jack daniels and says "I'm so tough, when I go home I lay on my back on the mouse trap and trip it with my tail. When the bar comes down I grab it and do ten pushups then run off with the cheese!"

The Irish mouse looks at him and then slams two shots of tequilla. He says "I'm so tough, when I go home I find rat poison then grab as much as I can, take it to my hole and grind it into my coffee for a buzz."

Both other mice look at the third and he is shaking his head in disgust. He looks up and says "I don't have time for this, I'm gonna go home and fuck the cat!"

A lady stopped unexpectedly by her recently married son's house. She rang the doorbell and stepped into the house to see her daughter-in-law standing naked by the door.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I am waiting for my husband to come home from work," the daughter-in-law replied.

"Why are you naked?" asked the mother-in-law.

"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law replied.

"LOVE DRESS! You're naked," said the mother-in-law.

"But my husband loves it when I wear this dress. It makes him happy and he makes me happy," said the daughter-in-law. "He will be home any minute now, so perhaps you could stop by a little later?"

Soured by all of this romantic stuff, the mother-in-law left. On the way home she thought about the "LOVE DRESS" and got an idea.

She undressed, showered, applied her best perfume, and waited by the door for her husband to come home.

Finally, his pickup truck drove up the driveway.

Her husband opened the door, and immediately saw his naked wife.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"This is my love dress," she said, excitedly.

"Needs ironing." he replied.

During camouflage training in Indiana, a private disguised as a tree had made a sudden move that was spotted by a visiting general.

"You Welch!" the officer barked. "Don't you know that by jumping and yelling the way you did, you could have endangered the lives of the entire company?"

"Yes sir," the solder answered apologetically........
"But, if I may say so, I did stand still when a flock of pigeons used me for target practice. And I never moved a muscle when a large dog pee on my lower branches.

But when those two squirrels ran up my pant leg and I heard the bigger say.........
'Let's eat one now and save the other until winter' that did it!"

Top nine comments made by NBC sports commentators during the Athens Summer Olympics that they would like to take back.



1. Weightlifting commentator: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing."

2. Dressage commentator: "This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother."

3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."

4. Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious."

5. Softball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."

6. Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces."

7. At the rowing medal ceremony: "Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew."

8. Soccer commentator: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."

9. Tennis commentator: "One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and ****** them... Oh my God, what have I just said?"

She undressed, showered, applied her best perfume, and waited by the door for her husband to come home.

Finally, his pickup truck drove up the driveway.

Her husband opened the door, and immediately saw his naked wife.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"This is my love dress," she said, excitedly.

"Needs ironing." he replied.

LOL

So true :

Night Club
Guy meets a sexy girl at a club and they go to her place to fuck.

Add to Favorites

Joe met Suzi in a nightclub. They enjoyed each other's company very much and at the end of the evening Suzi invited Joe to her place, where they quickly got involved in a very passionate and energetic session in bed together.

Finally, tired and satisfied, they both lay back in the bed and snuggled up close to each other. After a short while, Suzi began tenderly stroking Joe's manhood.

urprised but appreciative, Joe comments, "Surely you can't be ready for more? Suzi replies, "No, but every now and then I get a bit nostalgic, and I miss the days when I had mine."

Am I posting too fast for you or are you able to read all of them?

just a tad....takes me a while to read,laugh,...then search & post a funny pic...vaguely connected to the joke ! heheheh

MAN LAWS

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following Circumstances:

(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her Blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss's car.
(d) When she is using her teeth.

3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.

4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.

6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.

8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.

11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach ... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.

12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.

13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.

19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.

20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.

21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man While lifting weights:

a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
c) Another set and we can hit the showers!

22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e., both urinating, both waiting In line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.

24:The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.

25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.

26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.

27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.

28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.

29: We've all heard about people having guts or balls, but do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below:

"GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, "are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?"

"BALLS" is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, "You're next!

A couple had three children. Two of them were bright, smart and handsome but the third child was dull, ugly and backward.

One day the hubby got suspicious and asked, "Tell me the truth dear, is this third child really mine?"

"Yes, dear," replied the wife, " but the other two are not."

A very depressed man walked into a bar and ordered a triple scotch whiskey. As the bartender poured him the drink he remarked, "That's quite a heavy drink. Is something wrong?"

After quickly downing his drink, the man replied, "I got home and found my wife in bed with my best friend.

"Wow", exclaimed the bartender, as he poured the man a second triple scotch. "No wonder you needed such a stiff drink. This one's on the house." As the man finished the second scotch, the curious bartender asked "So, what did you do?"

"Well, I walked over to my wife, looked her straight in the eye and told her that we were through," the man continued, "Then, I told her to pack her stuff and to get the hell out."

"Good for you," said the bartender, "but what about your best friend?"

"I walked over to him, looked him right in the eye, and said, 'Bad dog!'"








And on that que, I'll be right back. Gonna got get me an ice cream. XD

lol

o.k.

you got a lota jokes....i can only ever rememeber the 2 i already posted....my mind just goes blank when it comes to jokes.

thats why i keep my posts to funny pics or semi-sarcastic responses & "quips" !

XD I only have these jokes because of my brother and e-Mails.


A widower lives with his daughter, a graduate student, in a small university town in the mid west. The man comes home from work at the same time every day.

One day, upon entering the house, he hears awful racket coming from behind his daughter's bedroom door. He barges through the door only to see his daughter on her bed "intimately" involved with a large, studded vibrator. Before he can say a word, the daughter exclaims: "Look dad, I'm 33 years old, in graduate school, and all the good guys are married already. For all I know this is the best I'll ever have, so just leave me alone!" The father leaves her room, scratching his head, closing the door behind him.

A week or so later, the daughter comes home from school, enters the living room to find her dad sitting on the couch with a beer in one hand and the vibrator in the other. She says, "Dad, what the hell are you doing???!

"The man says, "Oh, just sitting here, having a beer with my Son-in-law."




Two cowboys were out on the range talking about their favorite sex positions.

One said, "I think I enjoy the rodeo position the best."

"I don't think I've ever heard of that one," said the other cowboy. "What is it?"

"Well, it's where you get your wife down on all fours and you mount her from behind. Then you reach around and cup each one of her breasts in your hands and whisper in her ear, 'Boy, these feel just like your sister's.' "

"Then you try and stay on for 8 seconds."

don't eat too much ice cream...my ex used to put Bailey's flavored hagen das ice cream in her Bailey's drink as ice cubes!!

http://i30.tinypic.com/2yn44rs.gif





http://i26.tinypic.com/vopk0j.gif ..is that a hint-of-nipple !??

After a 2 year study, the National Science Foundation announced the following results on America's recreational preferences:

1. The sport of choice for unemployed or incarcerated people is: basketball.
2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is: bowling.
3. The sport of choice for blue-collar workers is: football.
4. The sport of choice for supervisors is: baseball.
5. The sport of choice for middle management is: tennis.
6. The sport of choice for corporate officers is: golf.

Conclusion: The higher you rise in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.

In the middle of the harvesting, one of the farmhands had to obey the call of nature. He went to the edge of the field and started peeing. Most unfortunately, he was stung by a bee right on the "tip."

The pain was unbearable, but he knew a piece of good advice. He went to the farmers house and put his penis in buttermilk. At that moment the farmers daughter came in. With her face red, she stood perfectly still looking at him.

"Have you never seen one of these before?" the farmhand asked.

To which the girl replied, "Yes, but this is the first time I see one being reloaded!

There was a father who's son was going to the market. "Here, take this duck and get what you can for it. You can keep what ever you get off of it."

So the boy take the duck and is going to town when he sees a whore house. He thinks for a moment then goes in and is approached by a hooker.

"If you give me that duck I will sleep with you." Says the woman.

"Ok." So they do their thing.

When he is about to walk out, the woman comes back, "If you sleep with me again, I will give you your duck back"

"Ok." So they do their thing again.

The boy, deciding not to go to town, turns back home. Suddenly a man accidentally runs over the duck

"OMG! I am so sorry! Here take twenty dollars and don't say anything to anyone please!"

"Um... ok..."

So the boy returns home and his father comes up to him

"How did the duck business go?"

"Well, I got a fuck for a duck, a duck for a fuck, and twenty bucks for a fucked up duck"

A particularily tough drill sergeant orders his new recruit to stand at attention in during one of the worst snow storms in the town's, and to add to the degree of difficulty, he order's them to stand out in the blizzard completely naked.

Tapping his baton in his hand, he walks up and down the formation, until he notices one man beginning to slouch from the cold. He immediately smacks the soldier across the chest with his baton, and the soldier snaps back to attention.

"DID THAT HURT?!"

"SIR, NO, SIR!"

"WHY?!"

"SIR, BECAUSE I'M A U.S. MARINE, SIR!"

Satisfied, he marches up and down the formation until he sees another man slouching. Promptly, he whips the soldier right across his buttocks, snapping the soldier back to attention.

"DID THAT HURT?!"

"SIR, NO, SIR!"

"WHY?!"

"SIR, BECAUSE I'M A U.S. MARINE, SIR!"

Satisfied the sergeant resumes inspecting formation until he notices one soldier with a huge hard-on. He rapidly walks up to it and brings his baton square on the head of the soldier's prick.

"DID THAT HURT?!"

"SIR, NO, SIR!"

"WHY?!"

"SIR, BECAUSE IT BELONGS TO THE GUY BEHIND ME, SIR!"

The nun teaching Sunday School was speaking to her class one morning and she asked the question, "When you die and go to Heaven... which part of your body goes first?"

Suzy raised her hand and said, "I think it's your hands."

Why do you think it's your hands, Suzy?"

Suzy replied, "Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in front of you and God just takes your hands first."

"What a wonderful answer!" the nun said.

Little Johnny raised his hand and said, "Sister, I think it's your legs."

The nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face.

"Now, Little Johnny, why do you think it would be your legs?"

Little Johnny said, "Well, I walked into Mommy and Daddy's bedroom the other night. Mommy had her legs straight up in the air and she was saying, "Oh God, I'm coming!"

If Dad hadn't pinned her down, we'd have lost her."

The nun fainted.

lol

o.k. i gotta go....work calls,hangs up and calls again !

in a good mood now....like these little guys.

see ya later

don't eat too much ice cream...my ex used to put Bailey's flavored hagen das ice cream in her Bailey's drink as ice cubes!!



And don't worry. I have to go next door to my neighbors house to get ice cream so I get a little workout on the way. XD

bye

Well it was in the thread titled Shoot the Shit, which is labeled NSFW, but I'm going to assume that this set of pics was worse than the other multitude of fecal pics in this thread.

I image blocked when I came into the thread, but from what I heard they were coprophilia pics.


....when I said "abused" power, i wasn't aware the NSFW didn't mean a thing......i was under the impression we could post whatever the hell we wanted and not really have to worry about hiding anything in "spoiler" boxes.


Not-Safe-For-Work Policy: anything pornographic or extremely graphic / offensive should come with an appropriate warning. links to NSFW things are okay, but make sure to state it's NSFW. if it's an image, don't embedd it, link to it.

And hey, while I'm quoting the rules


Chatting in Threads: first off, keep in mind that we let a bit more slide in general discussion than elsewhere. beyond that, don't post back and forth with someone if you're the only ones that'd be interested in your exchanges: use PM's.


I'm pretty much fucking done with this thread, and all the fucking assholes who "monitor" it. You all can go fuck yourselves, you stupid tits.

I've fucking had it. I'll see you back on the VGM thread, cuckoo. Your new "signature" is pretty much what put it over the top for me.

cuckoo's sig isn't locked and he's free to change it to whatever he wants, you petulant little toad.

I have no idea where this sense of entitlement came from. Sarah PAYS for these forums with her own money. She doesn't have ads on them, so this is strictly out of her pocket. I don't know how on earth you think that you have license to post whatever you want, even if she says she doesn't want it on her boards. I am seriously offended at people whining about not being able to do whatever they want regardless what my friend who shells out money for this place every month wants.

When you're playing at someone else's house, you have to play by their rules. If you don't like that, take your ball and go home. Good luck finding another VG forum that'll leave a thread like this open for you!

scotch whiskey.

All your jokes are terrible lad, though that's par for the course in this thread, but just quoting this to say that it's scotch "whisky", not "whiskey". Scots can get very upset about that.

Who cares if the Jocks don't like it? What are they going to do, toss some wood at us in a skirt!?

Tee hee.

Edit: I totally meant to post with this account.

I totally wasn’t dicking around to see if it still existed and forgot to log out.

This from the guy who quotes Rage Against the Machine in his user rank while using the Mars logo for his avatar.

[QUOTE=Mars;1309295]Who cares if the Jocks don't like it? What are they going to do, toss some wood at us in a skirt!?

Tee hee.QUOTE]

or blow into a hagiss/pig stomach until squeals...

GOATSE YOU...if you attack my castle with that inflated squealing intestine

And hey, while I'm quoting the rules

cuckoo's sig isn't locked and he's free to change it to whatever he wants, you petulant little toad.


don't quote the rules....just tell us in your own words.
it's kinda mostly lapdoggish.

and my sig....naw....i don't care.

quite frankly i could care less what happens here.......i do my own thing......i fuck around with other people's stuff or break the rules, i expect the same to happen to me.....it's only fair, right?


this is a message board forum......if anything bothers anybody that much, go out and get a life.

and that goes for all of us..........even my throbbing anus.

o.k. lets not fight guys.....lets all fuck someones sister for some "fiddle faddle" !

its the new craze !

i'll fiddle faddle you.

:loldata: :loldata: :loldata:

gently now...heheheheh

well....sorry, but i don't think there is a "gently" when it comes to fiddle-faddling someone.

you want a shot of WHISKEY before we start with the festivities?

yes WHISKEY would be nice...Bourbon comes later !

feel free to dilute :

i wish it was real.

i like to try everything and anything.

being a cook, it just makes me curious to sample whatever i can.

i WILL put anything in my mouth......ANYTHING.


.....foodwise, you perverts.

just when we reach being shit-faced...we can then attempt to decypher >



WTF ?

& also....

sexy pig people

you missed out on our sexy goat people phase.

or was it sexy cow people.....i don't remember.

whatever it was, it was sort of not right.

a "cook" [edit] you say....anything that i can elaborate on with "Pringles"...?.my diet consists of chocolate,Pringles,sandwiches,coffee....and....no, thats it !

more of "not right".

...and, this is HOT HOT HOT....

you can just imagine the simmered sweaty caked flakes of scummy skin "beneath".

:loldata: :loldata: :loldata:

that's how "shoot the shit" first started out.....doing "it wrong".

...and, this is HOT HOT HOT....

you can just imagine the simmered sweaty caked flakes of scummy skin "beneath".


dude....no.

i don't wanna imagine.....but you made me.

you're a monster.

place is beginning to feel like home already.

you wearing your wooly socks and sipping coffee and WHISKEY out of your favorite mug?

and wondering what would happen if you posted pics of a Darth Vader figuire sticking out of your cakehole?

.....then....yes it's home.

i won't say a word for this one....i won't even hint.

that's really really wrong for so many reasons.

yeah horizontal / diagonal lines make "her" look FAT ! [boy! was that embarrassing ! posting the same pic as before !] = corrected.

I'm gonna get me some fat hopefully biting into an ASSWICH, real soon.

you go bite that asswich......you bite the world.

my ex had an ass like that (no joke) except she had hairs ALL over it...! not just soft comb-able hairs...but thick bristl-y pubic hairs ! {retches,coughs with the dry heaves}

oh ! how i begged her not to evade the razor,wax,needle nose plyers,blow torch...etc.

my ex had an ass like that (no joke) except she had hairs ALL over it...! not just soft comb-able hairs...but thick bristl-y pubic hairs ! {retches,coughs with the dry heaves}

oh ! how i begged her not to evade the razor,wax,needle nose plyers,blow torch...etc.

i don't wanna hear about it.

*cuckoo covers his ears*

LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA!!!! I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!!!!

in other news.....tinypic.com all ready took down one of your pics.....:loldata: :loldata: :loldata:

and if you're after something a little more relaxed & crunchy...and dosn't kick so hard when you bite into it....

that'd be like eating grandpa scabs.

yeah...whats with tiny-pic ?

it was only a pic of a guy with half a tree trunk wedge half way INTO his body...!

i still don't understand what went wrong with all the "ponies".....it was like an inside joke i just couldn't to the bottom of....budarc flipped his lid & everythin' !!!!

the ponies?

oh i don't know......we posted pics that didn't fly with someone ..... they edited in the pics of the pretty ponies..... i think it was meant to discourage us, fully unaware we all ready did our pretty pony pics a week or two ago. it didn't really work with me..............it worked with budarc though.

budarc doesn't take censorship lightly i guess. i don't know. not that big a deal... i think atleast.

oh well.....it's all funny in the end........we aimed to get a rise out of someone, we got a rise and much much more.


so really, we're getting what we wanted to begin with.....well, what i wanted......i'm not sure what budarc was intending to accomplish, when we broke so many rules here.

sorry...HAD TO post this !



this "guy" just won't quit....pedos usually just have a paper bag of navel-fluff covered toffees...he had an entire Fun Fair !

Michael Jackson.....

...i think he just loved the circus or carnival.

.....his whole life was a circus show.......a whole fair in his back yard......owning John Merrick's bones...dressing up as a arabian woman and using woman's washrooms...the whole media circus.....a monkey....his kids in masks...his physical self.

it was a sad life.....i felt sorry for the guy. i don't even think he had a clue what a "normal" life was.

oh right ! i honestly wondered what everyone was talking about...about "shit covered dicks coming out of his mouth"...when no such abomination was visable..!

i am currently awaiting funnyML's Mothman score on main thread...have wanted that for ages....watched a few youtube things on it,then went pic hunting....found >

the creature

Mothman's finished uploading.

oh ! thanx !!

hey !! all my pics are disappearing !! HAHAHAHAHAAA ROR

i only see one pic that's been erased by Tinypic.

huh !

i can see 5 "disappeared" on last page 333....omg ! thats HALF the sign of the devil !!!! [i shall secretly re-up them from imageshack at a later date,just to cause confusion]

aaaah Mothman !

well.....god doesn't live here....that's for sure.

pg. 333 and your posts are at 333


an omen.

and some fucker just triple posted while kicking a dead horse.

Holy Snot ! i just saw that !

thats fuckn' creepy !!!!...and all on the day Mothman appears.....

all i need next is for my ex to show up at my door for a brazillian....to turn an otherwise ho-hum run-of-the-mill day into a ghastly horrid trip to Hell without the novelty Hell-Currency....kinda day !

no no no....what would be even worse would be for someone to tell SANICO what darker recesses of my mind i have been publicly plunging on this godforsaken thread...

those types of days usually go well with Hawaiian Pizza and WHISKEY

no no no....what would be even worse would be for someone to tell SANICO what darker recesses of my mind i have been publicly plunging on this godforsaken thread...

does Sanico even know who you are? or are you inter-stalking her, you crazy mofo.

:loldata: :loldata: :loldata:

WHISKEY...Hawaiian pizza and Pringles...now theres a party in my mouth with everyone invited.

speaking of parties in people's mouths...i remember the first time i was telling some guys about the first bukkake stuff i'd seen {guy coughed snot out his nose & everythin'} i made the joke about "spunk bubbles popping on the girls face",

he said did she drink any?

i said,"yeah neat,no ice".

that's gonna get replaced by a pretty pony.

oh that tiny-pics gonna disappear real quick ! LOL

oh! SANICO is just a cutey i like that follows the pattern every girl takes...even on the internets....they stay away in their droves.

that's tinypic?

dude....put 'em on imageshack.......

......cept that one.....if tinypic doesn't erase it, FFS moddies will.

i once even wrote to a gal in jail.....after a few weeks she wrote and told me she "just didn't have the time"....which was strange 'cos she was doing 50 years in the Big House for murder !

women !

That is just sad :(

oh that tiny-pics gonna disappear real quick ! LOL

oh! SANICO is just a cutey i like that follows the pattern every girl takes...even on the internets....they stay away in their droves.

oh I know who Sanico is......

......you repel 'em do you?

perhaps, it's time to stop wearing that vagina costume......that might be the reason.....or atleast get it drycleaned.

i once even wrote to a gal in jail.....after a few weeks she wrote and told me she "just didn't have the time"....which was strange 'cos she was doing 50 years in the Big House for murder !

women !

laugh or cry?

i don't know......i really don't.

honestly...here i am...35,...been told i'm good looking,look 10 years younger than i am,my own place,no kids,never married,STRAIGHT,workout {inbetween Pringles binges}....and of the last 30 girls i asked out 22 already had boyfriends...and 8 were lesbians....!

hold on !

you "know"who SANICO is ....!?

wtf ?

i thought this was a world wide web internets....wtf ?

perhaps you should just take a few steps back and just wait for it.......if you keep desperately looking you're never gonna find a thing...........

hold on !

you "know"who SANICO is ....!?

wtf ?

i thought this was a world wide web internets....wtf ?

well, not personally......but you described her as if i didn't know who she was.

the internets is a crazy new thing.......all the fat kids are talking about it.

believe me...i have tried everything....E V E R Y T H I N G....twice.

Tried trying,tried trying ALOT,tried not trying,tried being single by choice for 2 and a half years....tried,myspace,facebook,internets dating,...once got so wasted one ST. Paddy's Day a hooker was touting near the bus stop i was draped over....and i was so drunk i just LAUGHED & handed her $100....she just walked off with my money.....LMAO

Ah memories....salad days

you're 35?

so i'm not the old man here anymore?

nice

you're 35?

so i'm not the old man here anymore?

nice

yeah...BUT i look 10 "YEARS" younger than i am ! DNA can be kind...

I'm a fanboy and I loved it.

what you said! it was the best. yes, they made a fail out of DP, but i still liked the variation of it. i think that was the coolest fight scene, the way he was teleporting and stuff..

believe me...i have tried everything....E V E R Y T H I N G....twice.

Tried trying,tried trying ALOT,tried not trying,tried being single by choice for 2 and a half years....tried,myspace,facebook,internets dating,...once got so wasted one ST. Paddy's Day a hooker was touting near the bus stop i was drape over....and i was so drunk i just LAUGHED & handed her $100....she just walked off with my money.....LMAO

Ah memories....salad days

stop trying then.

i don't try at all and i've been fairly lucky in the past.

whether it's a relationship or a fling I'm looking for, i don't really try......i just spark up a normal conversation, get comfortable and if all goes well, then i break out the "twisted" sense of humour and seal the deal. ;)

i'm not a ladies man or anything, i just don't think it's all that hard to attract the opposite sex as the kids keep going on about.

what you said! it was the best. yes, they made a fail out of DP, but i still liked the variation of it. i think that was the coolest fight scene, the way he was teleporting and stuff..

DP ?

sorry that means something else to me....explain please ?

Deadpool

[QUOTE=cuckoo77;1309432]stop trying then.

i don't try at all and i've been fairly lucky in the past.QUOTE]

i don't either, now....i just float along....like a driftwood.....maggots all eating me up inside ! heheheh

no,...i give up now...the dumbing down of society has almost reached critical mass....can't even remember last time a girl even made any sense to me....all celebrity obssessed & all that kinda sh*t !!!!....

how times have changed !

by the time my dad was my age...he'd been married twice & had 4 kids....

i can't even get a date with a girl with a personality,...it just like "Duh....dribbles,.....britney.....dribbles.... !

[QUOTE=cuckoo77;1309434]Deadpool

Not "double penetration" then !!!!

see....been alone way too long with internets access

(http://img249.imageshack.us/i/1171643840061.jpg/) (http://g.imageshack.us/img249/1171643840061.jpg/1/)

and with a camo motiff

no,...i give up now...the dumbing down of society has almost reached critical mass....can't even remember last time a girl even made any sense to me....all celebrity obssessed & all that kinda sh*t !!!!....

how times have changed !

i can't even get a date with a girl with a personality,...it just like "Duh....dribbles,.....britney.....dribbles.... ![/B]

they're not all like that......there's some lovely girls out there with excellent personalities and interests....and believe it or not, quite a few of them are attractive to look at too.

i'm sure we're not all catches either. i mean, do you see the shit we're posting here? makes us look like immature, idiotic perverts.
:loldata: :loldata: :loldata:




Not "double penetration" then !!!!

see....been alone way too long with internets access

please....don't go into details.

well,...i must be jinxed then...because i finally found a pattern to the "beginning of the end" with girls i do eventually date...and its the phrase

"How would you like it,if I did that to you?".

...and it can be anything in any situations....girls are just....so up-their-own-ass....inconsiderate to the max !

the times i have had to "point to self,click fingers & say "Remember meeeee?"!!!!!.

heheheh

ahhh....the battle of the sexes.

nobody wins.

nobody's right.

nobody's wrong.

there are no rules.

just lots of spitting, yelling and hissy fits....

....and i have a pretty pony

i should be gay or something..............then this signature would make more sense.

http://missandmastersouthcarolina.com/my_little_pony.gif

i dunno....

i don't ever rememeber cheating on one,getting with one for her tenancy &/or cash,stealing from her...ignoring one for 4 years then turn up in her country for 3 days and demand a baby from her.....or write love letters to an Ex that i dumped 3 years before that...'cos the girl i'm with that had my kid, is dying in hospital with a brain tumor...!

i mean there is..."no rules"...and then theres finding a parallel universe with a whole bunch of other dimension rules to break...!

i did NONE of that !

i think it's safe to say, relationships are something we will never fully understand and it's a struggle and/or a challenge to make them work...........but challenge's are what make us alive and different from other beings on this planet.

i say we should fight to make it work and then it's all worth it.

if it's too easy, it's just not worth a damn to me.

i'd agree to a point....

but,...at my {old} age.....all i got to "choose from" are single parents & divorcees.....

never saw that coming when i was {allegedly} Hot Shit in high school.....i used to be into older women....and now even thats been spoiled 'cos they so damn old now ! HAHAHAHA

Hey everyone look it's a twat in a twat!

i'd agree to a point....

but,...at my {old} age.....all i got to "choose from" are single parents & divorcees.....

never saw that coming when i was {allegedly} Hot Shit in high school.....i used to be into older women....and now even thats been spoiled 'cos they so damn old now ! HAHAHAHA

i'm 32....you're only a few years older than me.........we have the same pickin's.......it's not that bad............relationship wise i usually settle with 5 or 6 years younger than me.........weekend fling or one-niters anything from 19 to 45 is cool with me.

Hey everyone look it's a twat in a twat!

i have a really weird image in my head of a twat within a twat..........it's nothing like that pic though.

i dunno...

i think i'm too sincere.....something like that.....and one niters....i usually start thinking {with my luck} i'd get accused of rape or something !!

and too many girls under 28 are these "emo" people we laugh at on here....

what the hell is emo anyway...? i laugh at it...cos its stupid....but i just don't get what it is they're trying to "do" ! XD

i dunno...

i think i'm too sincere.....something like that.....and one niters....i usually start thinking {with my luck} i'd get accused of rape or something !!

and too many girls under 28 are these "emo" people we laugh at on here....

what the hell is emo anyway...? i laugh at it...cos its stupid....but i just don't get what it is they're trying to "do" ! XD

"emo" is kinda foolish if you ask me.

EMOtional, i think.

a cross between punk and goth originally i think........now it's even wussier than before with all these lame ass bands out there.

but i think a label is foolish anyways.

why not just be a human?

well i was a {totally understandable} Rocker / Metal-Head back in the day....circa late 80's early 90's.....we fuckers had FUN back then !...then came "nu metal"...and made a caricture of the whole damn thing !

and i happened to look like quite a well known Rock Star at the time...but girls,even then,acted all weird around me...!

maybe Gods telling me to scrape off the tatts with wire wool & become a monk !

yeah...in high school i went through the Metallica/Slayer thing......long hair, ripped jeans, all that funny shit.

now i just look like a lunatic.

:loldata: :loldata: :loldata:

Yeah...those were the days......

actually growing my hair long again....as,...as my Ex said,quote : i can't believe how thick your hair is...you should be going bald". !!!!! subtle as a hammer smashed face !

and whats with them not making jeans how they used to....?

apparently now its "gay" to have STRAIGHT or narrow jeans...and now i should have fuckin' "gorilla/ape-leg" fitting jeans or jeans i wear from the knee.....wtf ?

i like the way she works it though :



I SPY CAMEL TOE !�

me in highschool:


me now:

and whats with them not making jeans how they used to....?

apparently now its "gay" to have STRAIGHT jeans...and i should have fuckin "gorilla/ape-leg fitting jeans" or jeans i wear from the knee.....wtf ?


[B]I SPY CAMEL TOE !�

i don't even wear jeans......haven't in 15 years or so......i hate 'em.

and good god man........that's not camel toe.........that's camel ass.

this is more me "today"....! don't look much different...and thats 4 years ago! [obviously i replaced my pic with this]

heheheh

a Metallica fan.......nice....and some inkwork.

yeah i got 14 tatts.....one of which is Lanny Barby's autograph.....

man! i was drunk that day !!.....she never called me....i think she's just busy !

she looked alot like the fantasy woman i got tattoo'd....so seemed the rock n' roll thing to do !

this was about 4 years ago......not much different either.......strangely enough, my hair is that way again today.

i wish i looked like that 4 years ago........i'd never leave the house.

....um....well....not really.....i don't wanna be a woman.....i'd like to.....hmm.......it sounded better in my head.

the guitar i had....copy of Joe Perry's Boneyard guitar...[note : alledged "gay jeans"....metalheads wear these...now gays spoilt that too]



but then....nerve damage ! d'oh !

nooo....what'd you do?

erm,....less awsome than you might think....

decorators had painted my front door....next day was still sticky...was coming home with heavy shopping,arguing on the phone with my {now Ex} girlfriend,who'd left the country for 10 WEEKS 'cos of her studies...and lo & behold...ran out of credit just as i got to my door...and accidentally put my hand through the glass....bad timing!

didn't even realise my hand was cut until i saw all the blood on the groceries....

then hospital made a fuss about "needing my name"....so i left to come home...just as my girl called again and demanded i get stitches ! pffft

what do you think we have band aids for?,i said !!!

anyhooo 14 stitches.

lovely.

that sucks man......so guitar playing is not what you do anymore, i'm assuming.

well i can move my fingers...just can't feel 3 of them 100%...

but boxing was my other love.....so...as neither are compatible...i guess the decision was made for me ! heheheh

and yes ! i remember the joke from Gone In 60 Seconds about "the stranger"....rubbing one out!.

i don't remember that joke.....and i just watched that movie for a second time 2 weeks ago.

.....why did i watch it again? i don't know.

Nick Cage is a horrible actor.....he didn't used to be until he became the hairpiece poster boy for the "American" action flick. I don't really like Angelina Jolie....especially in this movie.

But Robert Duvall, Giovanni Ribisi, Chris Eccelston and Timothy Olyphant are pretty cool.....so i guess that's why.

i play guitar....well i like to pretend i do.....here's a few rough demos.........

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=X7FW1K9F

i did all the vocals, guitar work and piano.....two of my buddies did the bass and drums.

yeah bad hair !

Angelina....she rides an MV in that movie....that bike is FUCKIN AWSOME. Will smith had one in I,Robot...and Bale had one in Dark Knight !

i don't remember that joke.....and i just watched that movie for a second time 2 weeks ago.

.

joke was about sitting on his hand until it went numb....then rubbed one out and called it "the stranger "

:loldata: :loldata: :loldata:

that's the Nick Cage i used to love and cherish.

yeah.....that was a cool bike.....that movie was full of cool cars.

i liked I, Robot.....and The Dark Knight was pretty decent too.

joke was about sitting on his hand until it went numb....then rubbed one out and called it the" stranger "

ahh....yes.

they sure don't write 'em like that anymore.

what would SANICO say !!!? heheh

yeah i got around to "cars" just recently....but when i went for my license the license people gave me shit about not having a doctor.....! so i gave up !!.

whats wrong with this world !!!?

grown man of 35 not ALLOWED to be a man and trusted to make his own manly decisions...!!!! pffft.....

next i'll have to call the government and ask if they wanna wipe my ass next time i take a shit !

fuck cars.

i don't need or want one.

i bike everywhere.....keeps me fit....and it's cleaner and less expensive.

Listenin' to your stuff....its GOOD,man !.

I got as far as the Godfather Theme, Slash's version...when i played !.

a license is only good for getting id'ed when i buy liqour or wanna get in a club.

i got a mountain bike too...KONA BLAST 2009 model !.

that gets me sucking down the chemtrails....heheheh

Listenin' to your stuff....it GOOD,man !.

I got as far as the Godfather Theme, Slash's version !.

what?

the godfather theme?

what are you listening to.....that's not me.

lol yeah i just realised how that came out...i mean my playing !

ahh...okay.

i never really got good at playing guitar......i was more a songwriter........i was part of the Vancouver punk rock scene back in the day.......and i guess some of that just sort of stuck.

yeah i always had the boxing stuff or guitar....fractured my knuckles plenty of times but,the nerve thing just chose boxing for me....

now just train to stay in shape.....but those chemtrails are so thick here...i could cut slices out of them !

heheh i remember in 2005 i had a 101cm beer gut....'cos of all the bars i went into to ask out lesbians & non-single girls {that accepted every drink i bought them}....that was one of my 18 month attempts.....and would have been a success if it had been to get fat & hear "sorry i got a boyfriend" as often as possible.

The hell does having a doctor have to do with driving?

The hell does having a doctor have to do with driving?

oh,they have a "thing" about insurance and having you prove you are not gonna drop dead kinda thing...and thats just for a provisional license !!

ahh...beerguts.....i had a decent one for awhile there...........but i've been getting back in shape for the past few months.........

....i'm naturally a skinny guy, so a beer gut just doesn't look good.............

I haven't seen a doctor since I was 5, and I've been driving for over a decade.

America doesn't quibble over such nonsense.

yeah i looked kinda sumo on the Guinness &/or J.D.

America quibbles over alot of nonsense :)......just not that.

That's what the word such is for :smrt:

Well i usually live in the u.k. {CCTV capital of the world....where they built no new prisons & crime is epidemic!}...and they....just let that fruity george michael have his license back after crashing his �80,000.00 car on a drug binge....& he did it all over again within week back on the road,...but they wouldn't give me a 1st license just 'cos i didn't have OR WANT a doctor !.

so,guess i better live in Ireland then ! heheheh

You're welcome to come to America.

I make such decisions, you see. You'll fit right in. I'll pull the strings right now.

You're welcome to come to America.

I make such decisions, you see. You'll fit right in. I'll pull the strings right now.

back when america was free that woulda been a cool offer.....but, i see troubled times ahead !

Canada is a funny place to live.

we have beavers, igloos, french people, toques and beer

but not really......we're pretty much like America.....only without the harsh marijuana laws.

but anyways.....i'm out for the day.

you guys have a good one.


.....and take note of my pretty pony.

she used to be a he.

Canada is a funny place to live.

we have beavers, igloos, french people, toques and beer

but not really......we're pretty much like America.....only without the harsh marijuana laws.

Cananda is cool...FIRST BLOOD was filmed there.....so was Legends of the Fall.....now THATS scenery.

see ya cuckoo...i'm pretty beat here too......

rambling online can be exhausting !...

have a good one.

back when america was free that woulda been a cool offer.....but, i see troubled times ahead !

YOU SHOULD MOVE TO THE ARCTIC WITH ME!!! WE CAN BUILD SNOWMEN TOGETHER AND THEN GO CHASE POLAR BEARS AND SEE WHICH ONES TRY TO ATTACK US!!!

but anyways.....i'm out for the day.

you guys have a good one.


.....and take note of my pretty pony.

she used to be a he.

i was gonna ask your pony to prom...does this mean im gay now?!?!

:loldata:

Random thoughts of the day :

I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.


Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.


I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?


Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

That's enough, Nickelback.

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.



Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.



There is a great need for sarcasm font.



Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the ***** was going on when I first saw it.



I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.



The other night I hit a new low at an open bar. I had already hopped on highway blackout when, inevitably I had to find a bathroom. Eventually I decided it was probably on the other side of the bar so I tried to walk over there, but ran into a guy coming the other way. We played that, Both go left, Both go right game to no avail, so I finally put out my hand to guide myself past and that's is when I realized, yup, that's a mirror I just tried to walk through. And the guy on the other side is me. Even cats can recognize their own image.



How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?



I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.



I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.



The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.



A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.



Was learning cursive really necessary?



Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".



I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.



Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.



My brother's Municipal League baseball team is named the Stepdads. Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I inquired about the name. He explained, "Cuz we beat you, and you hate us." Classy, bro.



Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".



How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?



I love the sense of camaraderie when a n entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!



Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"



What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?



While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.



MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.



Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.



I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.



Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.



I would like to officially coin the phrase 'catching the swine flu' to be used as a way to make fun of a friend for hooking up with an overweight woman. Example: "Dave caught the swine flu last night."



I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.



Bad decisions make good stories



Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!



Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?



If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.



Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....



You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.



Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.



There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.



I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.



"Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.



I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'



While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China and USA. No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that when Chinese athletes don't win, they are executed.



I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?



I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.



When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.



I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.



Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...



As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.



Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.



It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.



I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.



I think that if, years down the road when I'm trying to have a kid, I find out that I'm sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.



Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.



Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...



My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?



It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.



I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.



I think the freezer deserves a light as well.



I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more ****** begin with Miller Lites than Kay.



The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimate d that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.

i was gonna ask your pony to prom...does this mean im gay now?!?!

:loldata:

depends.....are you just looking for a quick lay or are you considering a long term relationship with my pony.

besides.....you have nothing to worry about if you're gay......it's the "asking my pony to prom" that i'd be a little concerned about.


Random thoughts of the day :

Asking ponies to prom is kinda weird.



:loldata: :loldata: :loldata:

those are hilarious.

cuckoo's sig isn't locked and he's free to change it to whatever he wants


apparently it is.

i can't change it.

:(

and i wanted to change it to "I love Beautiful Transexual Ponies."

depends.....are you just looking for a quick lay or are you considering a long term relationship with my pony.

besides.....you have nothing to worry about if you're gay......it's the "asking my pony to prom" that i'd be a little concerned about.



:loldata: :loldata: :loldata:

those are hilarious.

I'd Be The Talk Of The CENTURY!

and tanks! lol

PURE WIN

I know. I practically fell out of my chair laughing when I found this.

wow.....devil child.

creepsome and then some.

Reminds you of someone, doesn't it?

you've got like a pic for everything i say.......

....what happens if i say "dog's underpants"

....and this is just plain fuckin' weird

Mornin'

i got some creepy ass type stuff for ya....

morning for you

11pm for me.

we should trade time zones.

It's 1:00 A.M. here

i-yi-yi-yi

why does that....seem strangely......{no,...blinks eyes,decides on coffee before further comment.}

maybe it's just me....but i can't figuire out what's wrong with this pic..........



....i'm also really tired and ready for some shut eye soon, so i'm not really firing on all cylinders.

the badly photo shopped moon in upper left !

I get plenty of sleep at work. =P


OMFG!

what the hell is this?!?!



Caption says "world's ugliest dog" but I don't see the dog...

the badly photo shopped moon in upper left !



wow....i am tired. :rolleyes:

enjoy some "cunt punt" pics while i go mainline some coffee

I get plenty of sleep at work. =P


OMFG!

what the hell is this?!?!



Caption says "world's ugliest dog" but I don't see the dog...

looks like that thing that sat next to jabba the hut !

looks like that thing that sat next to jabba the hut !

You're right. It does.

omg ! even got the stretch marks....!

i've seen this doll before.....i believe it's an ancient doll that kids actually played with......the detail and mechanics is actually quite impressive for it's time

just when i thought i'd seen it all.....

Well, I'm out for now, guys. Gonna go make myself a late night snack (chicken wings with a Dr Pepper)

just when i thought i'd seen it all.....




jesus fuck, dude.



i recently read an article on people who get off on getting limbs amputated.

really weird shit.

Well, I'm out for now, guys. Gonna go make myself a late night snack (chicken wings with a Dr Pepper)

i envy you right now.

laters! enjoy!

Well, I'm out for now, guys. Gonna go make myself a late night snack (chicken wings with a Dr Pepper)

dr. peppers got aspartame in it....!

also...your offer of the arctic & bears......you a chick!?....you single!?

jesus fuck, dude.



i recently read an article on people who get off on getting limbs amputated.

really weird shit.

yeah i don't really have any kinks....just the cunnilingus fetish thing !...{and i'm good too.}...oh! and maybe gangbanging a chick....but thats still sex right !?

ain't like that weird "foot fetish" thing......just don't get how anyone could be turned on by a body part furthest away from "the goods".

I love a 1300 watt microwave. Super fast. I'm a dude, I'm not single, I live with my brother and my sister, and if you even look at my sister, my brother and I will both kick your ass and bury you under 6 feet of permafrost (we will find a way to dig through it).

:loldata: :loldata: :loldata:

you can look at my brother if you want.

dr. peppers got aspartame in it....!


Aspartame (or APM) (pronounced /ˈ�spərteɪm/ or /əˈspɑrteɪm/) is the name for an artificial, non-saccharide sweetener. In the European Union, it is known under the E number (additive code) E951. Aspartame is the methyl ester of a phenylalanine/aspartic acid dipeptide. It has been the subject of controversy since its initial approval in 1974. A 2007 safety evaluation found that the weight of existing scientific evidence indicates that aspartame is safe at current levels of consumption as a non-nutritive sweetener.

sexy wikipedia guy.

Aspartame is safe at current levels of consumption as a non-nutritive sweetener.

thats exactly what they want you to think....! find out how its "made".....!

also....describe hottness of sister before i make my final decision?

sexy wikipedia guy.



You know it. *Sexily bites meat off of chicken wing*

suck the meat right off the bone.....yeah.......that's the shit.

girls such as these are no longer on my tap-list....

i won't make that mistake.....not again.

suck the meat right off the bone.....yeah.......that's the shit.

Dr Pepper squirted out of my nose when I read that. This stuff stings like hell.

i've felt that pain.

it does hurt.

Dr Pepper squirted out of my nose when I read that. This stuff stings like hell.

bet it dosn't sting,...like,....after you've vomitted up all the Jack Daniels you're gonna....and then the stomach bile acids come up outa ya nose....singes all those nasel hairs.....burns hole in tiles on bathroom floor....!?

no?

thats a stinging sensation. {sorry no pics}

And melvin?... How were they on your "tap" list the first time? Low standards?

And I've never had Jack Daniels before. I'm still "underage" and my brother would kill me.



And melvin?... How were they on your "tap" list the first time? Low standards?





Oh, right. The jack Daniels. That made them look pretty...

girls such as these are no longer on my tap-list....

i won't make that mistake.....not again.



atleast they smile.....i guess.

sheer.....drunken-ness...desperation.....using them as a "prop" to avoid more gay-guy approaches.....y'know,kinda like when in movies when the govt. types are closing in...and ya grab the girl & smooch with her...just to throw them off the scent....

sheer.....drunken-ness...desperation.....using them as a "prop" to avoid more gay-guy approaches.....y'know,kinda like when in movies when the govt. types are closing in...and ya grab the girl & smooch with her...just to throw them off the scent....

....and i'll bet when you're kissing 'em you discover a whole new "scent" which isn't so nice either.

You just grabbed the wrong ones.

Did they grab you? XD You must have felt violated.

well....thats where the stomach acids/bile damaged nasel hairs play their part.....see? theres a method to my madness

You just grabbed the wrong ones.

Did they grab you? XD You must have felt violated.

yeah i did......and it wasn't in that way,...like if you close your eyes hard enough it feels good....you just know you're in the presence of somethin evil & unnatural...

Ah. So your nose hairs took a blow for the team.

heheheh yeah....and its served me well.

jeepers !

she has her own built in snorkle !....at least she's wearing black....has a slimming effect

:loldata:

all right boys....i'm heading off to bed.....it's been a long day and i never saw the moon.

niters.

Are you sure that's a SHE!?!?!

alright, see you later, cuckoo

:loldata:

all right boys....i'm heading off to bed.....it's been a long day and i never saw the moon.

niters.

nite cuckoo....no nightmares now! happy thoughts.....

Looks like it's just you and me now, Melvin.

http://i27.tinypic.com/2uoo043.gif

Are you sure that's a SHE!?!?!

i don't even know anymore.....its the internets....anything goes !

even ....mini men that like laying with dead birds...!

[QUOTE=KINGTIBARN;1309928]Looks like it's just you and me now, Melvin.QUOTE]

well ya just mentioned you're "underage"...! so now i am worried about warping your fragile little mind.....!!!

Don't worry. I've dealt with some of the most horrible things you could imagine (some in real life) I'm already as warped as possible (especially since I've looked through most of this thread)

if this dosn't damage you,nothing will...

or this....

startin the kids off early with scatology & urination...!



who the fuck sat around in a board meeting and said,"Gee i think i know a market we havn't explored....kids love playing with shit,lets do that".

The one in the top left is the creepiest.

who the fuck sat around in a board meeting and said,"Gee i think i know a market we havn't explored....kids love playing with shit,lets do that".

The ass holes from Fisher Price?

after effects of that hilary anal drubbing !

:loldata::loldata::loldata::loldata::loldata:
:loldata::loldata::loldata:

i may have damaged my own little mind with this one...

then theres THIS baby.....coolest baby ever !

he just has so many looks....

XD Now that's just cool.



Cuckoo's the one on the right. XD

XD Now that's just cool.



Cuckoo's the one on the right. XD

Does that mean that Budarc is the one on the left?

obama seemed to enjoy that hilary anal drubbing a little too much,me thinks.

o.k. i gotta go...8:17am already!

have a good one....

don't have bad dreams after this pic !

:ohgod:

Hmmm, that looks like someone I know...

mk. see ya later.

Random thoughts of the day :

I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.


Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.


I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?


Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

That's enough, Nickelback.

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.



Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.



There is a great need for sarcasm font.



Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the ***** was going on when I first saw it.



I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.



The other night I hit a new low at an open bar. I had already hopped on highway blackout when, inevitably I had to find a bathroom. Eventually I decided it was probably on the other side of the bar so I tried to walk over there, but ran into a guy coming the other way. We played that, Both go left, Both go right game to no avail, so I finally put out my hand to guide myself past and that's is when I realized, yup, that's a mirror I just tried to walk through. And the guy on the other side is me. Even cats can recognize their own image.



How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?



I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.



I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.



The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.



A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.



Was learning cursive really necessary?



Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".



I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.



Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.



My brother's Municipal League baseball team is named the Stepdads. Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I inquired about the name. He explained, "Cuz we beat you, and you hate us." Classy, bro.



Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".



How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?



I love the sense of camaraderie when a n entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!



Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"



What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?



While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.



MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.



Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.



I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.



Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.



I would like to officially coin the phrase 'catching the swine flu' to be used as a way to make fun of a friend for hooking up with an overweight woman. Example: "Dave caught the swine flu last night."



I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.



Bad decisions make good stories



Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!



Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?



If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.



Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....



You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.



Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.



There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.



I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.



"Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.



I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'



While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China and USA. No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that when Chinese athletes don't win, they are executed.



I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?



I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.



When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.



I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.



Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...



As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.



Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.



It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.



I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.



I think that if, years down the road when I'm trying to have a kid, I find out that I'm sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.



Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.



Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...



My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?



It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.



I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.



I think the freezer deserves a light as well.



I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more ****** begin with Miller Lites than Kay.



The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimate d that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.

holy shit,Parker1....thats some pretty profound stuff...worth quoting at least once a week.....you've put into words so much of what everyone's thinkin'.

now we can all feel comfortable about all the times we needed to walk back the way we just came,by patting ourselves down to locate the cel-phone, with the text message just received on vibrate, that shocks us into exclaiming LOUDLY...

"Headquarters needs me,the Paris-team has been compromised,my usual team are on standby & quartermaster has my gear...this phone will self destruct in 2 minutes"....thereby giving you ample excuses to turn and run back the way you came,pretending to look for a drainage tunnel to muffle any explosion....with everyone thinking you're a Hero....ladies hearts pitter patting as ya stride by with national security type authoritive-ness.Always good to hold one of your ears too while running...just to make it look like youre getting updates via the inplanted nano 2-way-earpiece.

well its better than just spinning a 180 and looking like a 'tard.

:loldata: :loldata: :loldata:
there is a god.