wow.....some people are smart good.

Remember the guy from Arizona? This was his car.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEI9z_hSGIQ

i don't know why this showed up when I image googled "duct tape funny"........but i wish it hadn't.

I just lost my appetite.

Anyways, did you check out that link I posted above? It helped me get through economics.

you remember this guy?


the Duct Tape Bandit.....thought a good disguise would be to duct tape his face when he robbed a bank or something.........it's just when he tried to get away all the police had to do was look for the guy running away trying to pull duct tape off his face.

people are smart good.

I just lost my appetite.

Anyways, did you check out that link I posted above? It helped me get through economics.

if you're ever gonna check out this thread, make sure you haven't just eaten or are planning on eating in the next half hour or so........that's a tame pic, compared to some of the other colorful pics i've seen here.

but.....i'll check out that link right now......i didn't see it before.....

I'm just glad that I wasn't drinking my root beer when I saw that.

And I had forgotten to post the link so I edited. That might be why you didn't see it.


if you're ever gonna check out this thread, make sure you haven't just eaten or are planning on eating in the next half hour or so........that's a tame pic, compared to some of the other colorful pics i've seen here.

I'll keep that in mind

I'm just glad that I wasn't drinking my root beer when I saw that.
or munching down on some nice puff pastry.


And I had forgotten to post the link so I edited. That might be why you didn't see it.


yeah...i just watched it....funny stuff....it's so true.

i think i should eat the taxes.

http://x91.xanga.com/d11f053041035217419756/t170188289.gif

"shoot the shit"

:loldata: :loldata: :loldata:

Comments?

um....what?
am i supposed to piss in....this?

Authorities are airing out a feces-filled nearly $3 million dollar mansion in Saddle Brook, N.J., where they found 23 dogs and cats dead.The carcasses, some of which had been dead for more than a year, were left in a three-car garage.Authorities also found 62 cats and six dogs alive in the home, which was strewn with pet food as deep as 10 inches in spots. The air conditioning was turned off.Police were called to the mansion by a deliveryman who was overwhelmed by the smell. He looked inside, saw the feces and feared something had happened to the owner.Authorities are considering cruelty charges against the owners of the animals.The Record of Bergen County reports the house is in foreclosure and is owned by 49-year-old Cynthia Stewart and 66-year-old Philip Tamis. They bought the mansion for $525,000 in 1996.


um....what?
am i supposed to piss in....this?

Yes

this last one is like "dude...do you wanna like mover over a little?"



"why don't you move over a little?"

An airline official in New York City says a man smuggled a monkey onto an airplane from Florida, stashing the fist-size primate under his hat until passengers spotted it perched on his ponytail.Spirit Airlines spokeswoman Alison Russell says on a flight from Fort Lauderdale to New York's LaGuardia airport, people around the man noticed a marmoset - which normally lives in forest and eats fruit and insects - had emerged from underneath his hat. The man's journey had begun in Lima, Peru.
Russell says the monkey spent the remainder of the flight in the man's seat and behaved well.She did not know how the monkey eluded detection in Lima and during the man's several-hour layover in Fort Lauderdale.LaGuardia airport police were waiting for the man and his monkey when the plane landed and he was taken for questioning.

Don't ask me where I found this next one...


10 THINGS YOU MAY NOT KNOW ABOUT SEX.
* According to the Kinsey Institute, the biggest erect penis on record measures 13 inches. The smallest tops off at 1 3/4 inches.
* The most common fantasy is oral sex.
* 8% of us have regular anal sex.
* 60% of men and 54% of women have had a 1-night stand.
* Women buy 4 out of every 10 condoms sold.
* In 1609, a doctor named Wecker found a corpse in Bologna with two penises. Since then, there have been eighty documented cases of men similarly endowed.
* Men say the average erect penis is 10 inches Women say its 4 inches.
* A female orgasm is a powerful painkiller (because of the release of endorphins), so headaches are in fact a bad excuse not to have sex.
* 56% of men have had sex at work.
* The maximum speed at which erotic sensations travel from skin to brain has been clocked at 156 miles per hour.

And about that last pic... why the hell are those things so close together?

Don't ask me where I found this next one...

10 THINGS YOU MAY NOT KNOW ABOUT SEX.
* According to the Kinsey Institute, the biggest erect penis on record measures 13 inches. The smallest tops off at 1 3/4 inches.
Did this test include the tiny Pygmy (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pygmies) people, dwarves and midgets?
http://www.night-caffe.com/slike/pygmy/pygmy3.JPG


* The most common fantasy is oral sex.
Is the rarest Cockroach Necrophilia?


* 8% of us have regular anal sex.
What is abnormal anal sex again?
Anal mucus is a natural lubricant.
Look it up kids. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anal_canal)
The anal canal's lower ends are joined together by folds of mucus membrane called anal valves.

* 60% of men and 54% of women have had a 1-night stand.
Anal intercourse between consenting adults is still Illegal in several American states such as Florida.


* Women buy 4 out of every 10 condoms sold.
Pick up the slack, females.


* In 1609, a doctor named Wecker found a corpse in Bologna with two penises. Since then, there have been eighty documented cases of men similarly endowed.
Recently a Russian Baby was born with this awesome mutation "disorder."


* Men say the average erect penis is 10 inches Women say its 4 inches.
Hermaphrodites were not polled.


* A female orgasm is a powerful painkiller (because of the release of endorphins), so headaches are in fact a bad excuse not to have sex.
I wonder how this was tested and how many researchers were watching.


* 56% of men have had sex at work.
This would lead us to think it was with 56% of the women, or some % of the gay men.


* The maximum speed at which erotic sensations travel from skin to brain has been clocked at 156 miles per hour.
Slower speeds in midgets.


And about that last pic... why the hell are those things so close together?
Because it's in a bath house.

You had a comment for every single one. Good job. =P

Kinsey clearly didn't visit monstercocks in his lifetime~

Wow, Neg. A little fetish you got there? XD

MonsterCocks is an amusement park.

:loldata: :loldata: :loldata:

fun for the whole family........even grandma Jenkins.

http://x91.xanga.com/d11f053041035217419756/t170188289.gif
This is special.

'tis.

just like Christmas............only my ass sweat doesn't smell like candy canes yet.

Yes, it's a growth-hormone-injected chicken themed amusement park. You have a dirty mind, KT :mad:

<3

So what's up, is bu-darc taking the day off?
Oh will he ever return?
Is the thread dead????

Yes, it's a growth-hormone-injected chicken themed amusement park. You have a dirty mind, KT :mad:

<3

It's not that I have a dirty mind. It's just that I have a sister that doesn't clear her browsing history. Oh, the shame or it all.

So what's up, is bu-darc taking the day off?
Oh will he ever return?
budarc's a strange guy..........who knows?


Is the thread dead????


it keeps trying to die.

infact it pleads us to let it die.

It's not that I have a dirty mind. It's just that I have a sister that doesn't clear her browsing history. Oh, the shame or it all.

get yer mind out of the gutter.



we here at "shoot the shit" take our giant cocks very seriously.

why here's that nice Smith family getting their picture taken with Dicky The Giant Cock.

https://www.omlet.co.uk/images/omlet_party_06.gif

take note how that giant cock likes to fondle the wife and the kid.

get yer mind out of the gutter.



we here at "shoot the shit" take our giant cocks very seriously.

OMG. I think I need a bigger grill... party at Neg's place!

yum....smother some giant cock with our special BBQ sauce......we'll be like the summer time boys.

We grillin' tonight~

i'll bring the baster.

Check this out if you want proof that men are better cooks than women: http://television.aol.com/show/video/partner/hulu/hells-kitchen/hells-kitchen-12-chefs-compete/pgkI9ftVRQNfkJQHoLPbXtMwpU_08eLi

And I'll bring the chips, dips, and drinks.

i don't need proof...i'm kitchen guy for 10 years + now.........i've worked with about 2 woman that actually know how to cook.

If it wasn't for my brother and myself, my sister would have starved to death, so far. Her best dish is cereal with a side of orange juice.

Anyways... how are we gonna kill the big bird?

Oh the humanity. All my Grandmas could all cook fucking great.
You fucking misogynist.
lol
All the lesbian couples I know cook too.

all my grandma's could cook.......my mom could cook.............not a single girlfriend i've had could cook.

Eat a Grandma pie!

grandma pie tastes like catfish.

Check this out if you want proof that men are better cooks than women:

A) I love women
B) I just think that men are better cooks
C) Refer to A

GILF?

Whatever floats your boat.

She's ready for you, cowboy.

Nah. But how about these?

Well, how about her?

yum..........this make me wanna go watch Golden Girls and masturbate while eating corn chips.

The blind date begins.

I guess you'll go out with any ol' lady that can make a good grandma pie, rick. XD

She knows what she wants.

i like to make ol' Grandma Winkely sweat till it smells like old bread, butterscotch, mothballs and dried squid in my bedroom.

now that's some serious grandma pie.

Did someone mention grandma pie?
What are you thinking about?

well fuckin' all right grandma, let's go upstairs

This is what I'm thinking of.

i want grandma's pie right in my face....all dusty and pasty like.

Well, fuck, John Hughes is dead. That sucks. But here is a picture of Molly Ringwald as Jabba the Hutt's Slave.

I just finished watching that movie on spike tv!!

Oooh. Just got an e-mail about stupid politicians:

A DC airport ticket agency offers some examples of 'why' our country is in trouble!

1.I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter) ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an airplane!)

2.I got a call from a Kansas Congressman's (Moore) staffer (Howard Bauleke), who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, and then he interrupted me with, ''I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts .''

Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained, ''Cape Cod is in Massachusetts , Capetown is in Africa ''

His response -- click.

3. A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando . He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state.

He replied, 'don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!'' (OMG)

4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife (Landra Reid) who asked, ''Is it possible to see England from Canada ?''

I said, ''No.''

She said, ''But they look so close on the map.'' (OMG, again!)

5.An aide for a cabinet member(Janet Napolitano) once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas . I pulled up the reservation and noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas . When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, ''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between gates to save time.'' (Aghhhh)

6.An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m.,
and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m.

I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois , but she couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went fast, and she bought that.

7. A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked, ''Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?'' I said, 'No, why do you ask?'

he replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that's very rude!''

After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it. (I was dying laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno , Ca. is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline was just putting a destination tag on his luggage.

8. A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii . After going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii ?''

9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright from Ala who asked, ''How do I know which plane to get on?''

I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, ''I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have numbers on them.''

10. Senator Dianne Feinstein called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola , Florida . Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?''

I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola , FL on a commuter plane.

She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''

11. Mary Landrieu La. Senator called and had a question about the documents she needed in order to fly to China . After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that she needed a visa. 'Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those.''

I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa. When I told her this she said, ''Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!''

12. A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to make reservations, ''I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York ..''

I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the name of the town?''

'Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the man.

After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a rhino anywhere."

''The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!''

So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, ''You don't mean Buffalo , do you?''

The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''
Now you know why the Government is in the shape that it's in!

Could anyone be this DUMB?

YES, THEY WALK AMONG US, ARE IN POLITICS, AND THEY CONTINUE TO BREED.

I don't write it, I just offer it for your consideration. Like manure, you just gotta spread it around

wow....they must have been out of Bib Fortuna cardboard cut outs.

XD

Eiye wahna wungha. No Jabba no badtah.

He shall be the main course in the banquent held in your honor.

or...something like that. XD

the only good Ewok is a

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v313/nollpost/funny%20pictures/star%20wars%20caturday/Ewok-1.gif?t=1250152573

Oh come on. Those little guys are crazy and they know how to throw one hell of a party. Human sacrifices, anybody? In fact, we should invite them over to Neg's house.

sure...we can invite them....just maybe not that one...............he looks kinda like a pervert.

The ewok has the look of a therapist.

therapist, therapist...ooh. I know! The Rapist!

i should sodomize that Ewok and then eat him.

why do you like to eat so many things?

'cuz then they get the liberty of passing through my anus.

oh, right. shoot the shit

you just made sense of something that makes no sense.

wow.

i think you're gonna get the 1st "Shoot The Shit" badge for "HOW DID YOU DO THAT?"

right....now that I've cleaned my mind and mouth out of all the filth that has been spewed out here, I'm gonna go grab some Zzzzzz's.

have a good night all!

I'm a student librarian at my high school. I deal with stupid crap every day. Even stuff like this (don't ask)

Alright. My batteries are done charging so I guess I'll go shoot some jap planes.

that's very American of you......keep up the good work. ;)

make us and the WWII vets proud.

Wow, you guys have had a productive night.

I just want to give a warm "shoot the shit" welcome to our latest member, KINGTIBARN. Kudos to making it through the first 53 pages.



I had a feeling someone new was coming. How long it'll last, no one will ever know.

he brought us the news.

i don't know how up to date the news was....but it was the news.

we stopped learning here a long time ago.

he's more than welcome to shit-shoot then. :)

.....mostly because he read 53 pages of this shit though.......that's torture to most of the "normal" people around here.

How does one properly "welcome" a new member here to shoot the shit? What is the initiation method? I'm thinking it involves diarrhea.

i give them a recipe that uses old butter and milk in it...............the diarrhea comes naturally after that.

Something about grandma pie?

Still trying to grasp all the insanity of last night... It was great.

it was gross.

from the moment it started, a barf bag was needed.

.......unfortunally i think i was the one who added in the details of odors and what not........yum.

grandma sex odors in my bedroom.

i like to make ol' Grandma Winkely sweat till it smells like old bread, butterscotch, mothballs and dried squid in my bedroom.

now that's some serious grandma pie.

I was with you all the way up until the "dried squid" part. Icky.

http://x91.xanga.com/d11f053041035217419756/t170188289.gif

well it couldn't be moist squid........geez. :rolleyes:

it's a grandma right? dry as a brand new whistle.

The other thing I missed were the giant cocks.



Yeah...I'm glad I missed that.

This one was pretty good though:



Heh...

we all agreed a Giant Cock get together was in order.....none of us had had giant cock, but it sure sounded tastey. yum.

my brother reads this thread regularly as i recently found out he showed one of his buddies too............apparently it's quite funny.

......god, i hope his wife doesn't read some of the shit I spew out here...........she'll never talk to me again.

giant cocks, dried squid grandma sex, bacon grease hardening in my ass.....all that shit.

no one needs to know.

no one.

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus only finally got a studio to distribute it?

wow....i would have thought studios would be more than willing to get their hands on it.....being Ledger's last film, not to mention Johnny Depp, Jude Law and Colin Farrell on the bill as well.........if not for Gilliam's name attached to it, it would have "nice week at the box office" written all over it.

besides........Mini-Me is right sexy.

Mychael & Jeff Danna doing the score too.....nice...........i was hoping Dario Marianelli would do it, but the Danna brothers are pretty good too.

here you go, brother! this is a wink to you :loldata:


as for the rest of you, take note of how we can't keep our hands off eachother or how we like to sit on eachother's laps..........it's a sexy cuckoo christmas.........................very incestual.

Very merry indeed. Almost as merry as these guys. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGAYk5VWkTw

Wow, you mean there are actually people reading this shit? Looks like I'd better be on my very worst behavior then.

Very merry indeed. Almost as merry as these guys. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGAYk5VWkTw

almost...not quite.


Wow, you mean there are actually people reading this shit? Looks like I'd better be on my very worst behavior then.

i think this means we have to wear clean underwear from now on, budarc.

no more of this 5 day underwear shit.

How does one properly "welcome" a new member here to shoot the shit? What is the initiation method? I'm thinking it involves diarrhea.

Two years ago, at the school, some of the seniors had a freshman kiss a dead fish and the guy ended up frenching it, and diarrhea makes one hell of a mess is one has to throw it.

i don't even know

:loldata: :loldata: :loldata: :loldata:

In our lab we used to have to bleach the rocks in the fish tanks. We used a plastic tube to syphon out the water and apparently, you can just submerge the entire tube to get the syphon started, but I wasn't that bright, so I always sucked it myself.

I used to threaten to make new assistants "suck the syphon."

One time I put the bleach in first and then started the syphon. You don't want a mouth of bleach, trust me :(

:loldata:

and now i know.

"suck the syphon."

Must have gotten their attention quickly. Did any of them actually do it and how did they try to get out of it? (o.O)

I just did it for effect. The look on their faces was prize enough.

Of course most of them already knew me and knew I wasn't being serious. I was a famous goofball in that dept. for almost a decade.

at work, we have this thing where we dare eachother to eat/drink the shit that builds up in the dishwasher's sink.

pretty nasty.

anyways, someone actually did it for 5 bucks......5 measely bucks.

diarrhea made it's appearance that night.

is that the recipe that involves butter that you were talking about? =P

and chicken bones, used napkins, old soup and coffee......rice, peas, carrots....if you're lucky some stale beer.

yeah......good eatin'.

this is what the bathroom looks like after a "shoot the shit" initiation.



....and tha't just budarc's bathroom.

:loldata:

ugh. I feel sorry for whoever had to clean that mess... ooh! rub salt in the wound! make the person being initiated clean it!

He should have done what this guy did. Take it outside:

or else hide it in mom's stew atleast.

Will it all fit in there? (o.O)

it all fits.....you just gotta time it right.

like make sure you're having a "shoot the shit" diarrhea the day before a big family dinner or you're gonna go donate your time into feeding the homeless the next day.

then you big pots of stuff to hide your diarrhea in.

no one knows the better.

until they take a bite out of it. poor bastards

well...it's not really a bite.....more like a sputtered slurp.

i shall have my camcorder at the read.

good man.

there is nothing funnier than a room full of people with a sudden attack of diarrhea.

if you thought a bomb threat in a subway station was chaos....wait'll you see this.

and with that.....i'm gonna get out for a bit and plan my next diarrhea attack.

Laters!

alright. time to go stalk some more prey. To war! alalalalalalalal*hick-up*alalalalala!

this is what the bathroom looks like after a "shoot the shit" initiation.



....and tha't just budarc's bathroom.

See? I told you. Just like chili.

People who like chili will never look at it the same after seeing that picture with that remark.

The sad part is a real pot of chili looks even worse.

Which is why I put mustard on my hotdogs instead of chili. XD

all this talk of diarrhea really makes me wish audio was easier to throw up on this site.

That would make things more interesting.

and traumatizing. :)

My mind is already damaged beyond repair so it doesn't matter.

oh yes....we are well aware of that.

it's too late for you.....you've dug too far into "shoot the shit" and probably various other nasty and vile things in life.

we're talking about traumatizing the innocent and the faint of heart with gurgling sounds coming out of my ass while i let some shit stew explode from within......or the "fop fop fop fop" sounds of Rick Says masturbating to Bea Arthur again.

Well, if HTML code is indeed turned on, we could probibly upload the sounds onto an online audio player and then use the embed codes to post it in this thread. To much work for me, though. I'm lazy.

yeah.....but it might be worht looking into if one of us really wants to post something............my diarrhea attacks might actually be worth it.

:loldata: :loldata: :loldata:

god....i gotta find something new to obssess over..........diarrhea just doesn't seem to be the "thing" other people like to talk about.

How about that little fish that supposedly swims up peoples dicks? Forgot what it's called, though. Let me look it up.

It's called the "Candiru". http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Candir%C3%BA

USE THE EDIT BUTTON, YOU...BAD KID!!

all ye have to do to get rid of those things is if they get in yer penis is get a fish hook and stick it up there........it's a bloddy mess....but the fish is dead.

yeah....double posting is bad.

and so is triple

USE THE EDIT BUTTON, YOU...BAD KID!!

This comming from the guy who


I double

post rarely :(

This comming from the guy who
Hey, man. If the shoe fits, sell it.

It's kinda hard to sell it when it fits because I've seen tons of people try on shoes and then walk right out of the store with them on their feet. Most of the people here know how to take those little sensor things off the shoes, too. =P

Teach us, wise one.

Very, very carefully with a screwdriver and a semi-powerful magnet.

I'll have my friend write a step-by-step thing. Who knows, we might even film a "How To" video. XD

new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes. new shoes.

Good thing I always carry several of both of those :D

My friend said that his little "technique" works but it's easier to just cut the little metal thing with bolt cutters. XD Just gotte be careful with your aim or else you'll cut your shoe in half and don't cut the plastic part itself or else ink will squirt. Kinda like when you punch Dr. Zoidberg or something.

I totally carry around bolt cutters.

Well everybody should have at least 1 somewhere in their house. I know that I've used mine for plenty of things. Like...opening the pickle jar.

If you're a naturally curious person... *looks around* you might want to... *looks around again* check this out *throws a wadded up piece of paper on the table that says: http://home.scarlet.be/comicstrip/anarcook/indanarcook.html

um...for "educational" purposes only.

i should eat that "wad of paper"

Man, I wish you guys could've seen that. I just squirted sperm halfway across the room. Man, that was awesome.

um.........wow............tell us more.

don't though.

Jackpotting ATM Machines (http://home.scarlet.be/comicstrip/anarcook/jackatm.htm)

Wow, I wish this stuff was actually useable by the common layman.

Actually, I just filled up my Super Soaker with semen (took me a couple days to fill up the tube) and started pumping and squirting all over the place. It was totally awesome!

water fights with you must really suck.

Don't even get me started on the water balloons.

(Hint: They're filled with liquid diarrhea.)

the clean up must be smelly and kind of majestic at the same time

Not for her, though:



Yes, the first cumshot pic on Shoot the Shit. Roar.

"roar" indeed.

i've cum close to posting a cum shot....but never did.

there i go again with the word play!

:loldata: :loldata: :loldata:

i shoud write for Conan.


shoot me again.

Oh, I'll "shoot" you all right...



That's right, Sexman carries around THREE cum-filled Super Soakers!

so that's why they call him "sexman"

he hasn't actually had sex...........i knew it.

little perv.

i just hate him.

Now there's a majestic cumshot:



Guy must've had his fill of fuckin' fiber for the day.

we live in an amazing age, cum shots, diarrhea, sexy cockroaches and grandma pie that smells like dried seaweed.

i sure do like today.

It's been said many times, but it must be said again.

This is one crazy fucking thread.

....and then they serve this



yum.

:shock:

Wow. Maybe I do have a future in the food processing business...

That's very creative. I'll never look at chicken wings quite the same way again.

Mr. Wiggles the Wonderful Returns

:imout:

That's very creative. I'll never look at chicken wings quite the same way again.



especially when you see me smother an order of 12 wings in hot sauce and stick them up my ass.

i then run around the room screaming your name while pissing blood on the kitchen floor as I rub lather lard in my hair with my sexy face on.

:loldata: :loldata: :loldata:

And you were worried about your bro's friend's wife seeing the hardened bacon grease comment? I think you just blew that one out of the water! (And your ass.)

well.....i blew the wings out of my ass when I sharted my bad case of diarrhea.

hot sauce and Cheerios diarrhea slides down my naked legs as I roll on the ground in my own filth giggling and still screaming your name.

Oh man...I think you outgrossed me. You win. :-P

someone did post a funny pic there you sonofabitches.

I'll never look at Cheerios quite the same way again either. :(

especially when you see them dropping out of my ass....some straight to the floor....some hanging from my shit encrusted ass hairs and by strands of diarrhea strings (which is probably some sort of intestinal fluid or mucus).

it actually looks like a fecal spider web on my ass.

it is a Kodak moment if you must.

I'm kinda hungry now...o_O

I've only got corn flakes, atm, though :(

"Hey honey, you want some hot wings?"

*budarc remembers cuckoo's story about shoving hot wings up his ass*

*vomits*

especially when you see them dropping out of my ass....some straight to the floor....some hanging from my shit encrusted ass hairs and by strands of diarrhea strings (which is probably some sort of intestinal fluid or mucus).

Wow...I...uh...think I have to go. I think I may have left the oven on.........

:-P

I'm kinda hungry now...o_O

I've only got corn flakes, atm, though :(

Ass to mouth?

:-X

corn flakes...........hmmm......can't do much with those from the fecal point of view....they fall apart when they get soggy.

but I'm sure budarc knows some sort of semen and corn flakes recipes for the kids.

like getting your friends to jizz on different spots on the wall and throwing a handful of Corn Flakes on your cum spot. whoever gets the most flakes to stick wins!!!!!

:) :) :)

It's okay sometimes :p

at the moment.

like getting your friends to jizz on different spots on the wall and throwing a handful of Corn Flakes on your cum spot. whoever gets the most flakes to stick wins!!!!!

:) :) :)

Yeah...I...uh...definitely left the front door open. Oh, is that you calling me, dear? I'll be right there!

like getting your friends to jizz on different spots on the wall and throwing a handful of Corn Flakes on your cum spot. whoever gets the most flakes to stick wins!!!!!

wow.....check me out clearing a room.

:loldata: :loldata: :loldata:

Sorry...all this talk about diarrhea gave me the urge to pee out of my ass. By the way, I was this close to posting a picture of my bowel movement...except that it was so orange, I feared it might come out overexposed.

That gives me a great idea for a new "shoot the shit" team project. We should all take shits, take pictures of said shits, and post it on this thread for all to see! That way we can take notes and compare...and 20 years from now, look back on it and think..."Wow. My shit looks young." For, um, medical reasons, you see. Not because I have a strange fetish for ogling other people's shit...heeh....

that'll probably get this thread a little bit of attention

:loldata: :loldata: :loldata:

"those shoot the shit guys are posting pics of their own shit now. um...wow."

I'm sure we'll become infamous...er for that one.

maybe i should start filming myself doing stupid shit and posting the vids here.

like eating shit out of my cat's litter box or washing my face in my own diarrhea and picking fights with people much bigger than me.

you think people will tune in then?

You know, when you look past all the disgusting aspects of it, shit can be art.



Just look at all those sharp angles...amazing.

maybe i should start filming myself doing stupid shit and posting the vids here.

like eating shit out of my cat's litter box or washing my face in my own diarrhea and picking fights with people much bigger than me.

you think people will tune in then?

Fuck, I'd tune in.

i would too......................

wow......

i disappoint myself.

I have a hard time figuring out whether the periods when you guys posts pics of actual shit are the high points of this thread, or the low points.

Washing your face in your own diarrhea? :loldata:

I don't think even those Jackass guys have attempted that shit yet.

We should have our own show on MTV, god damn it. Shit-Shooters Live.

I have a hard time figuring out whether the periods when you guys posts pics of actual shit are the high points of this thread, or the low points.

I think it's all low points...to varying degrees.

I have a hard time figuring out whether the periods when you guys posts pics of actual shit are the high points of this thread, or the low points.

i have a hard time figuiring out if there were ever high points

me thinks it's just a series of various low points.

perhaps a highest low point?

I think it's all low points...to varying degrees.


i have a hard time figuiring out if there were ever high points

me thinks it's just a series of various low points.

perhaps a highest low point?

You two were made for each other <3

Fuckin' beautiful.



:loldata: :loldata: :loldata:

The biggest shit picture on Shoot the Shit ever.

I'd love to hear the Seussian sing-song language of this classic.



:loldata:

Fuckin' beautiful.

:loldata: :loldata: :loldata:

The biggest shit picture on Shoot the Shit ever.

imagining trying to pinch a log that size out of yer ass.

that shit would be so epic i would start to think i'm giving birth to the baby jesus and mary.....................but not joseph.

Imagine eating it after it came out of your ass, too.

It'd give you the epic shits.

a shit of Ten Commandments proportions.

i should do it.

i'll start collecting my pooh and build one giant pooh to consume one fine day.

if i ever did eat shit, i would have to film it or take pics.............just to post my shit-eating grin up here where it belongs.

i'll start collecting my pooh and build one giant pooh to consume one fine day.

Watch out for flies, though. They'll sabotage your hard work. I suggest freezing your shit for a rainy day.

And with that, I must go and shit some more.

Later, dudes.

God Bless America!

laters...........shits ahoy!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, one last one. This looks like petrified shit.



Better to preserve your shit before you eat it, cuckoo! Try some of that embalming fluid they use on the dead in order to give it longer shelf life.

laters...........shits ahoy!!!!!!!!!!

Fuck...that looks like a scene out of a horror movie. Fucking shit portal or something.

That's not shit. That's the world coming off as it's transistioning to the nightmare side.

Screen shot from Homecoming, mang.

and we were there to see it

So far, they've only given us two transitions. I'm kinda pissed.

patience..........all in due time.

Okay :(

all in due time. ;)

That's looks like the end of the Wolverine game. It's just missing the sentinels.

i've never seen the WOlverine game.......but it's just some artwork somebody did for fun.

Wow, you people just picked up right where you left off. Good job.

we never really leave off....it just keeps going.

it just seems that way, 'cuz there never is a constant subject other than to outgross eachother


...it's cute............the ladies love it.

I'm sure they do. what did you think about that little link i provided?

"little link"?

is that what the kids are calling them these days?



but....seriously.............what link?

EDIT: the Shit-shooter's cookbook?

yes if you want to call it that.

yeah.....interesting stuff.

you into all that anarchy stuff?

or just speculate it with a smile on your face?

lol, anarchy.

I'm not interested in the actual principle of being an anarchist but I'm highly interested in being mischivous.

true anarchy is something you couldn't live with.........especially if you're using your computer right now or playing video games.........or munching on some Mickey D's.

mischief.........that's something completely different.

funny stuff then.

when i was younger i was one of the kings of mischief in my home town...............a friend once said the best way to find cuckoo and his best bud at night is to follow the trail of destruction

That's so very true~

SLC Punk is a great movie <3

Mickey D's... I'm hungry now. XD I think we have some ice cream. be right back. And what about you? what are YOUR views on the subject?

And what kind of stuff did you do? Anything school related that could be "fun"?

That's so very true~

SLC Punk is a great movie <3

lol....yeah.

it is a great movie.

You know you cry when....you know.

school related?

we fucked with teachers.....lit fires in their classroom.......stole their prized property and duct tape them to the top of a really tall tree.........managed to take all the desks out of the room in 10 minutes that they were gone............just funny stuff.

the only really destructive thing we did, was break into the classroom at night.......piss all over their desk, spray paint the chalk boards and take all their notebooks and shit.

Last year, some dumb ass sent a note to the front office that said "There is a boom in the school and everyone's gonna fucking die". Yes... They literally spelled it "boom"

And you wonder why I hate children and I'm not going to be a teacher, even though I have a Master's in the field.

Fucking kids :mad:

smart.

I plan on either becoming a biological engineer or a history teacher. I'm leaning towards history teacher but biological engineering... very, very tempting.

And you wonder why I hate children and I'm not going to be a teacher, even though I have a Master's in the field.

Fucking kids :mad:

ahh....kids aren't that bad.

you just have to know how to talk to 'em.

i wanna punch some in the back of the head sometimes, but then i remember being that kid.

which is funny.......

i had a teacher, who thought me and all my buddies were the best..........he thought we were really talented in all the different arts, and he tried to get us to stick to it, but when we didn't...holy shit......he pratically picked us up, threw us against the wall and screamed in our faces. funny guy.

best teacher i ever had.

ahh....kids aren't that bad.

you just have to know how to talk to 'em.

i wanna punch some in the back of the head sometimes, but then i remember being that kid.

which is funny.......

i had a teacher, who loved me and all my buddies..........he thought we were really talented in all the different arts, and he tried to get us to stick to it, but when we didn't...holy shit......he pratically picked us up, threw us against the wall and screamed in our faces. funny guy.

best teacher i ever had.

Interesting, very interesting.

Interesting, very interesting.

i think your next line is "tell me about your mother"

http://www.marksimpson.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/psychiatry-couch.gif

Why hasn't Obama repealed No Child Left Behind?

SOLs are the biggest hypocrisy in the pile.

i think your next line is "tell me about your mother"

http://www.marksimpson.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/psychiatry-couch.gif

Actually, I think it's "tell me about your childhood"


Why hasn't Obama repealed No Child Left Behind?

SOLs are the biggest hypocrisy in the pile.

And Obama isn't doing a lot of things that he said he was going to do, is he?

the SOLs are fuckered.

it's stupid the way it works.....and makes the future less bright every year.

I don't know if he said he was going to do that.

Anyways, I got to go and catch some sleep. I have to help unpack a few boxes of book in about 6 hours. So see ya later.

yeah....i'm gonna have some cheerios and watch some TV.....makes my brain work no good.

laters, guys! :)

:loldata: :loldata: :loldata:

That just proves that security cameras are a highly inefficient security resource.

i love shitting on the superbowl.

it ruins everyone's day.

Chocolate Raaaaaain~

Someone had to do it.

"Whatcha eating?"
"Chocolate"
"Where'd ja get it?"
"The doggie dropped it!"

Chocolate Raaaaaain~

Someone had to do it.

IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME!!!!!!!!!

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME!!!

Fortune favors the swift.