aeris: *pulls off mask* im really a man

heh heh! thats good!
lol!
how bout: nanaki: pass me dat fag cid. *cid passes fag* nanaki: cheers mate! ahhhh....dat its da spot!

Tifa and Aeris: " We Hate Cloud"
Sephiroth " I'm not good enough"
Vincent " I'm having difficulties sleeping"

Vincent to Cloud: " Does this go well with my silk shirt?" ( Shows him an Armani suit)
Cloud: " I prefer the red one"

(Tifa and Aeris see the whole scene)

Tifa: Well at least they aren't with girl undeware..
Aeris: You Spoked too soon

Cid appears with girl underware and talks to Cloud

Cid: #$#$% Now i have to return this to Sephiroth ( Shy)
Cid: Let me see that? OMG i saw this one for half the price

Cid: I might give up smoking to have my first kid
Cloud: why?
Cid: Cuz this book that Tifa gave me says that a kid that grows up aroud smoke dosn't develope right.
Cloud: but Tifa is my wife.
Cid: I know Tifa told me your lil problem
Cloud: DAMN IT!!!!
Tifa: Cid I'm ready!!!
Cid: kickass cya cloud

*all of them are sitting in a circle, kinda like when they're around the camp fire*

Cloud: So what now?

Cid: How the f#%@ should I know!?

Yuffie: Well somebody has to go first...

*camera pans out and there is a bottle in the middle*

lol thats funny I can see that happening

Cloud: ..It's you!

Sephiroth: Indeed.
Cloud: Who are all the gray haired guys behind you, clones?
Sephiroth: Hhahahaaa!! No.. for some reason they follow me where ever I go.
Cloud: oooh! Fan groupies?
Sephiroth: Haha. Maybe, but they help me carry my sword! They also comb my beutifull hair! Hhahaaaahaahaaa!
Cloud: Ohh.. say, why don't you talk much about yourself????
Sephiroth: (whispers) because i'm Gay!
Cloud: ...You were my brother sephiroth! (snif,snif) You were supposed to bring balance to the life stream!!!! (snif, snort..) ill!!!!!

sephiroth: join me tifa
tifa: no, you killed my father, bugenhagen told me
sephiroth: that is not true tifa, I AM YOU FATHER!
tifa: no, i cant be, its not possible....
sephiroth: it gets better, cloud is really your brother
cloud: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
every other guy in party: YES!
aeris: i guess i can cancel that boob job now, i dont have any competition
cloud: how could this day get any worse?
tifa: .......well, im sorta pregnant with your child
cid: OK, this is turning into some weird ass jerry springer shit
barett: i think it qualified as jerry springer shit as soon as it started
red: well is there anything else that we should know?
yuffie: yes there is red, im also pregnant..... with your children
*vincent runs off and pukes in corner*

sephiroth: join me tifa
tifa: no, you killed my father, bugenhagen told me
sephiroth: that is not true tifa, I AM YOU FATHER!
tifa: no, i cant be, its not possible....
sephiroth: it gets better, cloud is really your brother
cloud: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
every other guy in party: YES!
aeris: i guess i can cancel that boob job now, i dont have any competition
cloud: how could this day get any worse?
tifa: .......well, im sorta pregnant with your child
cid: OK, this is turning into some weird ass jerry springer shit
barett: i think it qualified as jerry springer shit as soon as it started
red: well is there anything else that we should know?
yuffie: yes there is red, im also pregnant..... with your children
*vincent runs off and pukes in corner*
thats funny shit

sephiroth: join me tifa
tifa: no, you killed my father, bugenhagen told me
sephiroth: that is not true tifa, I AM YOU FATHER!
tifa: no, i cant be, its not possible....
sephiroth: it gets better, cloud is really your brother
cloud: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
every other guy in party: YES!
aeris: i guess i can cancel that boob job now, i dont have any competition
cloud: how could this day get any worse?
tifa: .......well, im sorta pregnant with your child
cid: OK, this is turning into some weird ass jerry springer shit
barett: i think it qualified as jerry springer shit as soon as it started
red: well is there anything else that we should know?
yuffie: yes there is red, im also pregnant..... with your children
*vincent runs off and pukes in corner*
wow... O.O ... I gotta say the yuffie and red thing caught me off guard... I woulda figured Barret woulda tapped that first, lol

that was excellent, one of the best in this thread

*end of the game*

Sephiroth: Where the hell is my shirt, and why are you on top of me? *refering to cloud*

(sry no good ones today :( )

yuffie: tifa youre a fucking slut
tifa: why?
yuffie: well cloud is on a quest to avenge aeris' death and you take it has a chance to score with him right before we all head to kill her murderer
tifa: ok, first of all, he came onto me, and secondly, at least im not pregnant with red's pups
*vincent, who had just rejoined the group, runs off to throw up again*
yuffie: ok thats it, youre going down bitch
*yuffie and tifa begin catfighting*
cloud: i guess i better break this up
*cid and barett quickly hold cloud back*
cloud: what the fuc..
cid: what the hell do you think youre doing?
cloud: what do you mean?
cait sith: don't you know anything about chick fights?
cloud: no
barett: let's just say the clothes start flying, and if we're lucky, they'll even start kissing
*cloud stops resisting and pulls up a chair beside the rest of the guys*
red: tifa, please stop, if those pups she's carrying die, thats the end of my species.... *observes fight for a while longer*.... never mind, this is worth it

Hmm...things FF7 characters would never say/do. Let me think...

Cloud: (chopping vegetables with his giant sword, on a cooking show) Now, we want to try to cut these peppers into small cubes. I think it really helps with the overall appearance of the dish. And now we add just a dash of salt and sprinkle some basil leaves around the edge...then pop into the oven at 360 degrees.

Tifa: Man...I just noticed how big my boobs are.
... =) YAAAAY!! sexpot

Barrett: Oh my GAWD, Cid. Did you see her dress? (tsk, tsk) No fashion sense whatsoever.
Cid: You GO. That is SO not a summer color. (does that disturbing wavy-hand thing) She needs a TOTAL makeover.
Barrett: And we are the ones who can give it to her.
(Cid and Barrett approach the fashion-challenged girl.)
Barrett: Hello, I'm Barrett, he's Cid, and you're on EXTREME MAKEOVER!
Cid: And we think you need a makeover, grrrrrrl. Whadda ya say?
Sephiroth: I'm a MAN, you f*cking morons. (kills them)

Vincent: (singing) Sun...sun...Mr. Golden Sun...please shine down one meeee... (etc.)

Yuffie: Ehh...the hell with materia.

Aeris: DIE EVIL MONSTERS DIE! WAAAAH HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA! :mad:

Cait Sith: I have no reason for being here.

hmmm....

nanaki: im shaving my furr tonight!
cid: ohhhh, that is SO you!
nanaki: im also getting neutered.
cid:.......

Aeris "Fuck me, Fuck me now!"
Tifa "But we shouldn't. What about Cloud?"
Aeris "He won't know."
Tifa "Allright"
Aeris" Oh Tifa...You are so good at that!

Vincent- "My insomnia is cured!!"

hahaha!!! god i love this thread

Cloud: DIE SEPHIROTH!!!!!

Yuffie: Ummm... Cloud, honey. It was just a dream. Go back to sleep.

tfhdjnhbgv

cloud:hey seph are over compensating for something with that big sword?
sephiroth:me over compensating hehe *nervously* um wot about you, you got a big sword

What's a "soilder?"

Rude - "Hello"

Tseng -"blip blop shazashaza"

"Red XIII - "I am a fan of beastiality, as my occupation is Beast"

When Cloud first meets Vincent

Vincent: *does a backflip from his coffin*
Cloud: There really was no reason for that.
Vincent: *begins going through various hero-like poses* What do ya mean?
Cloud: That whole backflip thing, you overdid it, not cool man.
Vincent: Well your entrance was off a train, I had to think of some way to beat it. *continues posing*
Cloud: On a scale of one to ten...
Crowd: THREE!!!!!!
Cloud: There you have it, you clearly suck.
Vincent: It's not my fault these experiments made me a circus freak.
Cloud: You know what the irony in that is
Vincent: What?
Cloud nothing, just always wanted a reason to say that.
Vincent: You're a jerk. So's the guy who made us!!!! *breaks down crying* Why don't we have hands? Why?
Cloud: *begins smoking a cigarette and walks off* Screw this, we need a new secret character and...AAAAHHHHH!!!!!! My fingers are missing!!!!!!!!! *begins crying with Vincent*

red: grampa, can i ask you something?
bugenhagen: certainly nanaki
red: how is it you fly around like that?
bugenhagen: well its a funny story actually..... (10 minutes later)...... so long story short i had some maniac surgeon graft in a large float materia where my ass used to be
red: where can i find this surgeon?
bugenhagen: ask barett, its the same guy who did his gun arm
(2 weeks later)
red above cosmo canyon: WHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! THIS IS SO GREAT!!!!!!!!! IM KING OF THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok hmmm, thing ff7 chars would never say

cloud : tifa i love you

Marleen: But I don't want to.
Barret: Its ok *closes blinds*

(a little michael jackson humor there, lol)

Oh Aztroth, that just sounded a bit ....*VOMITS*

Sephiroth- "Bollocks!I1m flying around in circles!!"

Sephiroth: *Feeling around in his trench coat* I know i put that black materia somewhere...

Sephiroth: Why'd they pick him over me?
Cloud: What're you cryin about now?
Sephiroth: That damn David Hasslehoff stole my position next to Pamela Anderson.
Cloud: Ok, you know how many years before we were born that was?
Sephiroth: I know, but it still gets me right here *points to his scuba-man*

Vincent: Where is it! *is tearing through the mansion basement* WHERE THE FUCK IS IT!!! I know I put in here some where! *searches through the library* Aha! Found you! *pulls out a pink teddy* now I can go back to sleep!

Yuffie: "I'm handing myself in to the Shinra Police for stealing..."

Yuffie: Come on!

Cid: But I don't f***ing want to!

Yuffie: Come on! It'll be fun!

*they're standing in front of a rollercoaster*

Cid: But I don't WANT to!

Yuffie: Why not!?

Cid: Be'cuz im f***ing scared of heights thats why!

Barret:Cm'on Cloud lets play Pixie Wurld and Pretend your Gold Chocobo is a Unicorn!!!
Cloud:k, but first let me finish my bath with bubbles shaped like hearts!

Vincent-"Beyocka!"

Vincent: I AM NOT GAY! I just LOVE MEN!

Vincent "I need scissors 61!!!!"

Vincent: I dreamt I was a mOrOn! I think i AM a mOrOn. duh duh duh

(would anyone still like Vincent if he was mentally retardedlly disable? lol)

Vincent "this coffin is stuffy"

Cloud to Tifa:Get me a beer @#!#@!

Vincent " Damn!! I`m firing blanks!!"

cloud trying to get tifa pregnant: damn!! i'm firing blanks!!

(Anyone remember me? I've been gone for a loooong time. ;))

Barret: TEA TIME!
Vincent: Why the hell am I using a pistol? *whips out a machine gun*
Cloud: Whew, my hair only took 6 bottles of styling gel today!

I'll think of more sometime...

tifa: uhh....cloud?
cloud: ........yeah
tifa: dont stare at my tits...
cloud: im sor...
tifa: .....touch them, that way at least i get something from it too

Barret to Tifa: Once you go black, you never go back!

Sephiroth:my masamune is soooo preety!.......!.!.!.!.........(picks up a toy pirate sword) now i can destroy cloud and co.with my almighty...Pirate Sword=30 day money back gaurentee=(results may vary)

Cloud:"Hey Tifa lets go for a quickie"

Barret to Tifa: Once you go black, you never go back!
HAHAHA, that caught me offguard, lol

Aerith reading for U.S. translation: You mean now i'm "Aeris"?.

ragnarok nine_

Reno: k am gonna walk around the conner surprize thoses muppets n strike a cool pose.
*walks round conner, everyone laughs*
Reno: bollocks my flies are undone, i knew i should av worn black pants instead of pink!!!!

Yuffie: Are we there yet?

Cloud: ...

Yuffie: Are we there yet?

Tifa: ...

Yuffie: Are we there yet?

Vincent: ...

Yuffie: Are we there yet?

Cid: No... *mutters under breath*

Yuffie: Are we there YET?

Barret: NO!!!!

Yuffie: ... ... ... ... Are we there yet?

*Gunshot* ... *Yuffie falls over backwards*

Vincent: *gun raised, barrel smoking* No...

any of teh good characters in the game would never say:
you nkow what im not really up for this saving the world thing.

Red xlll: Duhduhhduhudh
Cloud:SHUT UP you stupied dog
Cid:yeah get off our pony or you will regret it
Cloud:anyway, Did your manacure go well cid
Cid: yeah how about you Aries?
Aries:I didn't get a %$#%#% manacure you %$%&!!!
Cloud:Run!!!!
Barret: (cloud and cid trip over barret) hey hey hey don't knock over my Barbie Play house!!!
Vincent:LA lalalalala lets go get an air freshener for the highwind Red xlll!!
Red Xlll:dadadahdahd
Tifa:here yuffie you can have all of my materia
Yuffie:I don't want your &$%# Materia
Tifa: (pulls a Rocket launcer from her breasts)
Yuffe:Bring it on!!
Tifa:KABOOM!!!
Yuffie: (her guts go every where0
Cid: (gets on the highwind) EWWWWIEEEEE!!!! lets clean this place up with glad paper towels Cloud and Barret!!!

Barret: Well now that im the president of Shinra lets start harvesting more mako! MOOORREEEE!!!!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Aeris- Tifa, lets make out.

Tifa- ...OK!!! Screw Cloud

Sephiroth: Why did I want to destroy the world again?

Rufus ShinRa: lets make peace ! *Sings Choir*

cloud: barret you silly NIGGER!!

BARRET: Cloud, what did the five finger say to the face?
Cloud: *thinks*
Barret: *SLAP!*
Cloud: What was that for?
BARRET: I'm Rick James B!tch!

Rufus Shinra:lets stop the mako process and stop polluting the air!
And scarlet stop with the weapons and make Bunnys and teddy bears for the children!!!

Nanaki: Damn it quit calling me red xiii!!! my name is nanaki, damn it! for cryin out loud I don't call you Seph ii!!! *points at Cloud*

Aeris- Tifa, lets make out.

Tifa- ...OK!!! Screw Cloud
Cloud- *listening in* YES!!!


Cid: Wait..Yuffie's only 16!? But..but the cameras..and...and the roofies..and..Jesus Juice and...butter....handcuffs.....cucumber....whipped cream...Oh my god. OH MY GOD! AIIIIIIIEEE!!!! *runs off to another room*

Tifa: *at group meeting* I don't think my current outfit is revealing enough, so I'm going nudist. *Cloud's sword suddenly tips upward, Barret's gun lets off a shot, Vincent's pants tranform, and Cid smokes a cigarette*

Cloud: ...

Cid: ...

Barret: ...

Cid: ... This never leaves the ship...

*Camera pans out and they are locked in a really small closet pantless*

Tifa, Yuffie, & Aerith: *in the bridge on the highwind, laughing hysterically*

Tifa: Did you see how fast Cids pants came off when I said I "wanted him"?

aeris: hey cloud can i play on your computer?

cloud: sure!

*cloud turns on computer and barrets face appears on the screen*

barret: Hello.Cloud....Your.Quite.Good..At.Turning.Me.On.

cloud: err....you should ignore that..

aeris: hey cloud can i play on your computer?

cloud: sure!

*cloud turns on computer and barrets face appears on the screen*

barret: Hello.Cloud....Your.Quite.Good..At.Turning.Me.On.

cloud: err....you should ignore that..
hahaha, that's a good one!

Cloud: "Sephiroth's not evil, he's just a bit stressed out. Look, he's starting to get grey hairs!"

Cloud: "Tidus and myself are getting together with three other guys with similar haircuts and starting a boyband - 'Final Girl's Fantasy'"

Barret: " If you're happy and you know it clap your ha.......shit!"

Cait Sith:I am the Sith Lord!!!!!!
(in another scene)
Cait Sith:Yuffie! I Am Your Father!!!!
Yuffie:NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

*rufus birthday*

they turks: happy birthday sir!!

*the bring rufus a gigantic cake and scarlet suddenly pops out of the top of it*

scarlet: happy birhtday......mr president!

*Palmer bitch-slaps sephiroth*

( i know it's not ne1 saying anything but I just figured it was something that would never happen)

*in midgar*
tifa to cloud after having hot passionate sex: i hope no one heard us, we weren't exactly quiet
*meanwhile in rocket town*
shera looking east, scared: ............oh my
*cid comes running outside*
cid: WHAT IN THE NAME OF UNHOLY FUCK WAS THAT!
shera: im pretty sure we don't want to know...
*also in cosmo canyon*
red: way to go cloud *howls*
*and in the world of ff8*
zell: wow, did you hear that squall, it sounded like it came from a whole other dimension
squall:..... whatever

Sephiroth:Hmmm...
Cloud: *stares*
Sephiroth:hmmmmmm...
Zack: Maybe you should at least try to...
Cloud: Shhhh!!!! He's about to do something amazing.
2 HOURS LATER
Cloud: *runs out of mansion screaming* Oh hell no!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sephiroth: Yes! Let it burn!!!!!!!!!!
Cloud: Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?
Zack: I told you not to have sex with him.

Biggs to Wedge: "You know, I think we might just survive this one.....!"

Cid: hmmmmm
*sees Clouds dead body*
Cid:hmmmmm
*sees barret in a cornor rocking back and forth*
Cid: hmmmm
*lights go out*
Cid: hmmm
*lights come on Barrets dead*
Cid: hmmmm
*lights go out again*
Cid hmmmmm
*lights come on and Vincent is hanging from the ceiling*\
Cid: hmmmm I think there is something fishy going on around here....
TIfa: Yes there is CId!
Cid: PMS! *runs like a cracker from the cops*

Cloud: why did i put Aeris in a lake, now she has fish skull fucking her. Barret go get her out of it unless her body is rotted.
(fifteen hours later)
Barret: Cloud... i didn't find Aeris body but i found some kind of black materia on the way back.
Cloud: let me see it... its a peice of shit throw it out.

sucks i know

Cloud:do you suppose there is any one who know that we were the ones who saved the world???
Squall:hold on i saved the world i defeated ultimacia
Zidane:fuck the both of you i wasted that prick necron so i should get all the attention
*shots*
vincent,barret,irvine,yes now the four of us canget the glory
Steiner:yea thank you for giving me this gun i will destroy every one in my path
*they all laugh maniacally(sp?)*
mwhahahahahahahaha

Cloud:do you suppose there is any one who know that we were the ones who saved the world???
Squall:hold on i saved the world i defeated ultimacia
Zidane:fuck the both of you i wasted that prick necron so i should get all the attention
*shots*
vincent,barret,irvine,yes now the four of us canget the glory
Steiner:yea thank you for giving me this gun i will destroy every one in my path
*they all laugh maniacally(sp?)*
mwhahahahahahahaha


Tidus: screw you all i killed my own dad and some aeons and some camper prick

*Reno is lying in a hospital bed after the battle with Cloud and co. on the sector 7 pillar*
Reno: what happened...?
Rude: ......
Reno: that bad huh?
Rude: ......
*Elena walks through the door*
Elena: Hi, I'm the new....*throws up*
Reno: It can't be that bad....give me a mirror...
*Rude hands him a mirror....*
Reno: See it's perfectly.......OH MY GOD, IM UGLY!!!! THERE IS NO REASON FOR ME TO LIVE!!!
*Grabs a Knife*
Reno: See you in the....
Rude: Oh shut up! *Punches him in the face and knocks him out*

Man this thread is going on and on.831 posts.

Cloud: Cait sith why do you have an oversized mog that you ride on
Cait Sith: im to lazy to walk
Barret: if i killed it would you walk then
Cait Sith: No
Red XIII: (kills the mog with his comb)
Cait Sith: oh my god you killed mog
Yuffie: you bastard
(got that from south park)
(team ventures away but cait sith stays where he fell down and about five hours later they hear a lound noise)
Cloud: did anyone hear cait sith using his megaphone
Tifa: don't worry about him wait for him to come to us.

Reno - "I'm gay."

Man this thread is going on and on.831 posts.


and yet they dont seem to get any funnier

Cloud: Ok i'm all set i'll just check my equipment, oversized sword, 50% lightning damage, pocket full of materia, monster repellent, gp for gold saucer, potions (can't get enough of them), and a photo of me drunk at sephiroths 18th birthday party, how about you cid?
Cid: errrrrrm a cigerette and a lighter

'and yet they dont seem to get any funnier'

Agreed.

cloud:hey tifa,NICE BREASTS!
Tif: thanks cloud but im thinking about getting bigger ones.
(squeal from RED XIII)
RED XIII: can i use them as my trampoline
Tifa: no
Aeris: your a slut tifa
Vincent: ....................im gay
Cid: yuffie will you marry me
Yuffie: are you high again Cid
Cid: just a little. *snorts some crack*
Sephiroth: im am also gay vincent

Sephiroth: Cloud this is the 15th take, will you stop laughing at my hair, thats it I cannot work like this i will be in my trailer.

cloud:hey tifa,NICE BREASTS!
Tif: thanks cloud but im thinking about getting bigger ones.
(squeal from RED XIII)
RED XIII: can i use them as my trampoline
Tifa: no
Aeris: your a slut tifa
Vincent: ....................im gay
Cid: yuffie will you marry me
Yuffie: are you high again Cid
Cid: just a little. *snorts some crack*
Sephiroth: im am also gay vincent

Trampoline HAHAHAHa thats is weird HAHAHAHA and funny

Cloud:Yo man WTF is hapen here again?
Tifa:Barret drunked up and Killed Sepiroth so game over for us
Cloud:OMG where i gona get money from?
Tifa:Go and sell Pizza?
And then Zidane come's up with ultima Pizza
Zidane:Perfect Pizza for 100gil only come fast dont loose the chance
Cloud:Hey monkey tail gime one with peperoni
Zidane:Waaaa???(confused)when did Chocobos started eating Pizza?
Cloud:Who you called chocobo?
Zidane:waaaaaaaaaa it talks
Cloud:I will teach some maners Come forth Nigth's Of The Round
Zidane:Come forth Bahamut the King of Pizza's
Cloud:Ultimate End
Zidane:Mega Pizzaaaaaaaaa
Cloud:aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Zidane:(getting trance)Grand Pizza
Cloud:Omnislash
So after 10 years of battles they whent together for Pizza's and beacame beter friends ever been

Man wtf is that it sucks BOOOOOOOO Its a shit Get looooosssstttt(crowd)

Cloud (to Aeris): "Suck me, beautiful."

Aeris: Tifa, I love you

Tifa: I am a virgin

Red XIII: I am going to chase you cait sith

Genova: I must upgrade my pc soon

Cloud: if i could use vincents sniper rifle and take out cait sith while hes over there....
Barret: umm... cloud look behind you.
(cloud sees vincent with his sniper aiming at cait sith)
cloud: mother fucker
vincent: i see, i see....
Tifa: what
Vincent: cait has five men holding rocket launchers around him but hes drinking coffee
(Red XIII howls loudly and it makes cait spill his coffee from the distance they are apart)
Vincent: hes pissed and is ordering the men to fire at us
Cloud: yep... were all gonna die. (looks at aeris) starting with you.
Aeris: im already dead you dumb fuck your just looking at my ghost.

everyone dies when a argument starts
cait sith and five other men with rocket launchers: mwhahahahahahaha

Sephiroth:Im acually santa!
Red 13:oooooooo (sets in sephiroth's lap) I want Breasts like tifa and Aires's pony tail PLEASE PLEASE!!!!!

*Cloud at a store*
Cloud: Do you have any blonde dye?
Store owner: Yes, it's over on the right aisle shelves.
*Tifa walks in*
Tifa: Cloud what are yo-...
Cloud: Um... Um... Alright... I'm not a natural blonde...
Tifa: =O

Tifa: I'm sorry cloud but I like someone else.
Cloud: Why are you telling me this I don't even like you.
Tifa: Oh...errrm...well...I...SHUT UP CLOUD!
*Tifa grabs Aeris's hand and they skip into the sunset*
Cloud: Damn now I'll have to settle for second best (looks at barret)
Barret: Don't look at me I don't even like you.
Cloud: fine.
*grabs red XII by the tale and runs into the sunset*
Barret: Damn (looks at caitsith).

Cloud: ill stop sephiroth... with this delicious cheesecake, 99% fat free and tastes great too
Tifa: yes i think we can all agree sara lee make some fine products that are easy on the hips
Aeris: What is this a *&#%ing infomercial?

bugenhagen:*sitting in restaurant, drinking coffee and reading paper* with shinra sucking the life force out of the planet, we are all gonna die, maybe AVALANCHE could help, if only i could find them
*waiter approaches, he is wearing a purple muscle shirt and jeans, has long spiky blonde hair, and a mustache, and is smoking a cigar*
waiter: AVALANCHE?, i hear they're terriffic, would you like anything else with that coffee sir?
bugenhagen: not unless you can help me find AVALANCHE
cloud: *pulls off fake mustache* you just found them

if you've never seen the A-team, (or the music video for bad, bad man by john cena) you wont understand this
i know its bad, ill think of some new stuff soon

LOL that is the beginning that clip is just LOL, is Cloud dressing as a woman and with a cigar?

*Cloud searching the Highwind for his sword*
Cloud: HAS ANYBODY SEEN MY SWORD!?
Barrett: yeah here you go! (throws sword at Cloud)
Cloud:AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! MY ARM! SON OF A BIT....*passes out*
Barrett:mutters*dumb boney ass white boy hahahaha*

Cloud:Hey cait sith....how about just fucking off? No one likes you, you know..

*Sephiroth Kills Aerith*
Cloud: A) *Darth Vader* NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
B) Aerith! No! ..what a tragic waste. She had my favorite sunglasses.
C) Well, I guess I guess there's always "Ginger". *pulls out inflatable sex doll*

Sephiroth: *meeting Bill Gates* Damn! You're so EVIL! What's wrong with you?!


Cait Sith: Oohh... materia.. *starts to reach for materia*
Yuffie *jumping out of nowhere* Stupid Cait Sith! Materia is for ninjas! *breaks Cait Sith's arm*
Also, I found this...
http://cloudsafag.ytmnd.com/
and this is DBZ, but it's still funny. (the background pic is somewhat dirty, though)
http://dbzgonewild.ytmnd.com/

Okay I think we're all over the whole 'gay' thing now..

Cloud and Cid are at an AA meeting

Cid: (stands) "My name is Cid Highwind. And I am an alcoholic."
Sephiroth clones in black capes: "Hellooo.....C-Cid..."
Cloud: (stands) "My name is Cloud Strife. And I am a Homosexual."
Cid: "Wrong building, Cloud."

I laughed out loud when I read that. Even though I do think Cloud should go run off with Kadaj. LoL. :p

That's hilarious! lol
Cloud and Kadaj? hahaha ♥

Cloud(in Nibelheim): I can't believe it's burning like this!!!!
Zack: I told you, I told you not to trust him.
Cloud: Yes well, he has to die!!
Zack: Oh now he has to die? Why didn't you listen to me the first time?
Cloud: Well he was so convincing and nice and strong an...
Zack: So you let him convince you to pay him so you could fuck Jenova?
Cloud: *in tears trying to piss* Yes!!! Yes, it burns horribly!!!!

lol nice
Barret:i dont got nothing to say

cloud - tifa. i have to give you something. *leads her away from the crowd*. i just... i had to give you this...
tifa - yes cloud? *bats eyes*
cloud -... it's a blueberry muffin. it's left over from the batch my mom made. i want you to have it
tifa - <(-._-.)> ... gee, thanks (i was hoping for some action...)

Yuffie: Elena, I like your clothes.
Elena: Yay!!!
Bugenhagen: Good! This is the first step to peace.
Yuffie: What's next, let's get this over with.
Bugenhagen: Full blown nudity!!!

As Barret , Cloud and Tifa invade the Shinra building as CHAVS (PPL FROM THE US WONT UNDERSTAND THIS)

Cloud - " Check dis shit out , dis iz wiked m8"
Barret - " Diss place is off da 'ook"
Tifa - " Oh dat Shinra nob iz starin at me knockers"

i got the jist of it. also just thinkin bout how it would sound is hillarious.

Keep the tread alive! its too funny..:D

Aeris-"Im so FUCKING HORNEY!"
Cid-"Please dont swear honeybunny."
Aeris-"Fuck this, Tifa, get the cucumber and meet me in the bathroom in 5 minutes!"
Tifa-"My boobs are so small"-sobs-
Vincent-"HAPPY, HAPPY, JOY, JOY!!!!!!"
Barret-"Its jus' cos' im black isnt it?!"
lmao!

Bugenhagen: " One tequila, two tequeila, three tequeila, four! F_ck the planet's final fate and start a nuclear war! HEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEEE!!! *presses THE BUTTON*"
LOL!

yeah um no double posting or um triple posting for that matter :)

Red XIII: *reading Hojo's file* You know, I'm supposed to be so intelligent.
Tifa: So?
Red XIII: Why can't I wear clothes?
Tifa: The hell's that got to do with it?
Red XIII: My brain feel so naked.
Tifa: Ok, now that's just stupid.

hahaha this is some funni shit

Cloud,Barret:Shave pooche pooche shave pooche pooche(after getting stoned into oblivion)
Red XIII:no dont,DONT DOAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Cloud:mwhahahahahaha

Cloud: Tifa i have something to tell you! *holds out a ring*
Tifa: Yes Cloud!?
Cloud: Sephioth just perposed to me! And i said yes!
Tifa: *~*

Every single character: I need to go to the bathroom

Sephiroth: *looses memory* Wha-? Who am I? Hmmm.. Long, shiney hair...weird clothes...I must be a hippie!

barret: marle, you know that pony i got you?... well i sort of bumped it.

click link for the place the joke came from http://whitestkids.com/video/drunkdad.mov

Cloud: Tifa, remember how you always wanted a dog as a kid?
Tifa: *looking extremely happy* Yeeeeees.
Cloud: *opens closet to reveal a dog's skeleton* Here it... Oh, that's right, dog's like food, don't they.
Tifa: OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!! *runs off crying*

Cloud: I hate carrying this sword around...Hey Aeris? Lets trade weapons.

Aeris: You ain't ever gettin' my stafffff, TIFA!!!!!!!! Get me another beer!!!!

Tifa: Ok, be right on it, WAIT A SECOND!! You've already had 50 shots, 45 glasses, and 2 kegs!

Cloud: Man, my sword is to boyish, I gotta find out a way to get one of Aeris's staffs..*Gets devilish grin*

Aeris: TIFA!!! I don't care how manyyy jlasses I've nad! Give mme *hic* more damn *hic* beer!

Cloud: Tifa, give the girl her beer! *grins devilishly again*

Drunk Aeris: I feex sleeppyy *hic, groan, passes out*

Cloud: Woot! now where does she keep those staffs? *rummaging in Aeris's drawers*

*Barret walks by*

Barret: OOOOH, I WANTS SOME TOO!!!



Don't complain, this is my first post here, I couldn't think of anything good either.

Barret: *crying*
cloud: wats the matter barret?
barret: this thread isnt funny anymore!

Red XIII: Ride me like a pony.

TIfa: Can't move....boobs...too....HEAVY!

Cid: Oh, damn guys. I can't help you kill Sephiroth. The Star Trek Convention starts in two hours!

Aerith: *opens Wonka bar* I found a golden ticket! Now..who to take with me...? *looks around.* BUGENHAGEN!

I told you that my post sucked, I just wanted to say something.

Cloud:Hey, Sephiroth, wanna go and get married!?

Sephiroth: I thought you'd never ask! I'll go ask Jenova if she'll do the honors of uniting us:

Vincent/Tifa/Aeris/Barret:Cloud! I thought I was the one you loved!

Cloud: No, you guys were so yesterday, besides, Sephiroth is way cooler than you guys. Come on, Sephy.

okay this is my first post here so ill try:
THE MIDGAR TIMES
trusted since 1912-1936 to 1938-present

DRUG CHARGES LEAD TO MULTIPLE RAPE ASSAULTS
Midgar- a local cat has gone missing after reporting a strange occurence in the marijuana crime investigation. two suspects were found guilty, a innocent-looking flower girl who claims the weeds were in "her garden at the wrong place at the wrong time". she was found guilty when a tall man, roughly in his 40's was convicted of purchasing the weed from the girl where she claimed that he was "so nice to me".
the mans identity is still under investigation, but is claimed to have past connections to the young girl as well as others, such as local striper and bar owner, tifa lockheart, who states she got breast implants from one of the suspect's relatives, a former scientist, who organized the Space shuttle program in Rocket town.
the scientist was eventually accused of sexually assaulting the two women, a large red cat, and two men with strange hair. the older man and flower girl were charged with use of illegal drugs and disturbance of the public, as they were high at the time of the interview.

LOL

Location: Ghost Hotel

What Cloud is doing while the party sleeps in for the night.

Cloud: "Good thing I saved the dress from Midgar."

Cloud tries out the dress again and compliments himself.

Cloud: "Damn... Im a sexy bitch!"

Sorry, but I have one more hehe.

Location: Don Corneo mansion. Don Corneo's Bedroom

Don Corneo: Please! I don't know anything, honest!

Cloud: If you don't start talking...

Tifa: I'll rip it off!

Don Corneo: I really don't know anything!

Cloud: Once again, talk or else...

Aeris: I'll chop it off!

Don Corneo: Why don't you believe me?! I'm clean!

Tifa: This is the last time... if you don't tell us...

Cloud: I'll suck it!

Don Corneo: Wha? Oh... what shall I do... I don't know anything. *unzips pants*

Aeris and Tifa: What the HELL?! =-O

I told you that my post sucked, I just wanted to say something.

Cloud:Hey, Sephiroth, wanna go and get married!?

Sephiroth: I thought you'd never ask! I'll go ask Jenova if she'll do the honors of uniting us:

Vincent/Tifa/Aeris/Barret:Cloud! I thought I was the one you loved!

Cloud: No, you guys were so yesterday, besides, Sephiroth is way cooler than you guys. Come on, Sephy.

Reads the above:
*Grabs Cheese grater and starts grating own face off.


We have all signed up for a remaster of FFVII for ps3!!!

EDIT: and just for nit picking...You stole my squiggly bit for your username i trademark it punk!

You think I ever knew you were on this forum? I didn't even know you were here, so I didn't steal nothing, I just put something there that was on the key board. So I'm innocent.

I have one.

Cloud: SEPHIROTH! i'M GOING TO KILL YOU!
Sephiroth: ***blinks*** I SURRENDER! I WANT MY MOMMY!!!!!!!!!!! ***runs away crying***

Yuffie: ... materia??? Whats that?

Aeris: Flowers make me vomit.

Zack: Okay Cloud. Since I'm gonna die, I want you to live my life for me.
Cloud: Okay..
Zack: First, you need to start by taking my pants!
Cloud:...
Zack: Take them, damn you!
Cloud: Fine, whatever.
Zack: Now, you need my sword. Take that.
Cloud: Alright.
Zack: Now, you're going to be a mercenary. You have two methods of pay: either charge ridiculous amounts of gil, or demand physical services.
Cloud:...right....
Zack: Pay attention! Now, I have a girlfriend in Midgar. Very beautiful. I'm sure you two will go well together. I want to to take care of her. Cherish her and keep her for your own.
Cloud: I'm starting to see the benfits here.
Zack: No sex.
Cloud: I'm sorry?
Zack: No sex, Cloud!
Cloud: *forcing Zacks eyelids shut* Oh, woe is me! My dearest, closest friend and comrade who has been close to me through good times and bad times.. is dead..
Zack: I'm going to take you with me!
Cloud: Is gone forever...before he could make one last request concerning a beautiful woman..
Zack: I'm going to haunt you, Cloud!
Cloud: I can still hear his voice on the wind..I shall honor his wishes and consumate love with his girlfriend for him. *walks away*
Zack: Dammit!


LOL!

Cloud: I like little boys.

*gold saucer, after cait sith gives cloud the prediction*
cloud: "what you seek will be yours, but you will lose something dear", i dont get it
cait sith: *sighs* ok, im gonna try this one more time, and make it quite clear*gives cloud slip of paper*
cloud: "you will save the world, and the flower chick will be killed by a man with a large sword" ............. i still dont get it
aeris: hes saying sephiroth is going to kill me
cloud:..........
cait sith: sharp thing enter hot female thing and make her stop moving
cloud: oh, i get it now, but that wont happen, there is no way i will let them kill yuffie
aeris and cait sith: *awkward silence*

okay this is my first post here so ill try:
THE MIDGAR TIMES
trusted since 1912-1936 to 1938-present

DRUG CHARGES LEAD TO MULTIPLE RAPE ASSAULTS
Midgar- a local cat has gone missing after reporting a strange occurence in the marijuana crime investigation. two suspects were found guilty, a innocent-looking flower girl who claims the weeds were in "her garden at the wrong place at the wrong time". she was found guilty when a tall man, roughly in his 40's was convicted of purchasing the weed from the girl where she claimed that he was "so nice to me".
the mans identity is still under investigation, but is claimed to have past connections to the young girl as well as others, such as local striper and bar owner, tifa lockheart, who states she got breast implants from one of the suspect's relatives, a former scientist, who organized the Space shuttle program in Rocket town.
the scientist was eventually accused of sexually assaulting the two women, a large red cat, and two men with strange hair. the older man and flower girl were charged with use of illegal drugs and disturbance of the public, as they were high at the time of the interview.


That was a good laugh:laugh:

I think a moderator should sticky this, it's too great of a thread to die.

WAS too great of a thread, now it's mediocre that's why i've been mia for so long

Cloud: My sword needs to be bigger.

Tifa: Screw your sword, whadda 'bout my TITS?!

Aeris: I wonder what else this staff is for...? *lifts dress*

Barret: I pity the fool who thinks this thread stinks!

Red XIII: What are you doing with that bucket of... oh no! GOD NO! NOT THE TAIL!!!

Cait Sith: Yuffie, will you have my mog/cat babies?

Vincent: I WILL! I WILL!!!

Yuffie: Aww... the hell with it, GIMME A BEER!

Cid: *sticks burning cig into his arm* God... this is better than smoking them.

Aeris:damn cloud u messed up my flowers!
Cloud:I love them..can I have a few....I mean 1.
Aeris:sure it will cost ya..
Cloud:(runs away with many flowers in his hand)
Aeris:that stupied F***....haha...there all fake flowers!

Sorry, but I have one more hehe.

Location: Don Corneo mansion. Don Corneo's Bedroom

Don Corneo: Please! I don't know anything, honest!

Cloud: If you don't start talking...

Tifa: I'll rip it off!

Don Corneo: I really don't know anything!

Cloud: Once again, talk or else...

Aeris: I'll chop it off!

Don Corneo: Why don't you believe me?! I'm clean!

Tifa: This is the last time... if you don't tell us...

Cloud: I'll suck it!

Don Corneo: Wha? Oh... what shall I do... I don't know anything. *unzips pants*

Aeris and Tifa: What the HELL?! =-O

that is ssssssssooooooooo funny!!!..lol

Cloud: You know, I really enjoy riding Chocobos. They're so cute! Makes you just wanna strip down naked and rub their feathers all over your no-no's!

Everyone else: .....

Tifa: (farts)
Cloud: thats sick tifa can u not do that around us and---(all party members die and



i didn't finish because it killed me to through the PSX into reality

sadly you could find just about anything with aeris in them...theres a website(forgot address)that has hentai pics and just weird pics, for instance...aeris cutting her wrists,its funny but sad
I stumbled across this on acciedent while Googling Aeris, then I realised that there must be more FF Hentai out there, so I googled 'FF Hentai' in the Image Search and accidentally clicked on the first picture and it took me to a disturbing Hentai site.

EDIT:
Barret: I just look big on the outside, but on the inside, I'm just a scared little skinny boy...
Cloud: Don't feel bad, I'm the same way...
Cid: You guys are so fu**cked up, but, I know how you feel...
Vincent:Tell eachother your stories, and you might feel better.
*various stories*
Barret:...And so, ever since then, I have felt that I am different from the others.
Vincent: Now how do you feel?
All: LIKE WE NEEED TO WATCH QUEER AS FOLK!

Cid: I eat N00BS!!!

Cloud: U r so unl337 omg omg

barret: I want a sex change!

well it make no senes but it probly wouldn't be said.

*just after fighting hojo's lab speciman in shinra tower*
red: hojo named me red XIII and i will follow you to.....
cloud: just a sec red, excuse me symphony orchestra but we are not in cosmo canyon yet, play the right music
nobou uematsu: sorry, but we dont get paid for this you know, square just locks us in the studio until the game is done so the more we screw up the music the better
tifa: but the game music is good
nobou: well we cant just make it flat out blow, but every little mistake in location music we make we know some fanboys are gonna notice and complain about. we did the same thing with elmyra's flashback.
random fanboys/girls: drat you nobou, drat you for making us take time away from our character shrines to complain to you
nobou: see what i mean

*just after fighting hojo's lab speciman in shinra tower*
red: hojo named me red XIII and i will follow you to.....
cloud: just a sec red, excuse me symphony orchestra but we are not in cosmo canyon yet, play the right music
nobou uematsu: sorry, but we dont get paid for this you know, square just locks us in the studio until the game is done so the more we screw up the music the better
tifa: but the game music is good
nobou: well we cant just make it flat out blow, but every little mistake in location music we make we know some fanboys are gonna notice and complain about. we did the same thing with elmyra's flashback.
random fanboys/girls: drat you nobou, drat you for making us take time away from our character shrines to complain to you
nobou: see what i mean

That actually made me laugh :-P

Barret: we can't kill sephiroth yet
Cloud: why?
Barret: cos i need a shit
Red XIII: oh for fuck sake not again.
Barret: Ill show you.
*Barrets limit break no. 5(?)*
Barret: RAPE ATTACK.
Cloud: Barret nooooooooooo!!!!
Red XIII: o fuckin hell thats good.

lol man lol

Barret- I am awesomeo!

Cloud walks up to Vincent, hanging upside down...
Cloud: Hey, Vincent....
Vincent: There is no Vincent- only Zuul.
Cloud: Riiiiight..well, do you know where I can find Vincent?
Vincent:Uuuuhhhhhh... hold on. Vincent, you've got a call on line one.
Cloud: Vincent?
Vincent: *falls to the floor and assumes the fetal posistion* He's not here.
Cloud: Well, where is Vincent?
Vincent: I'm in my dark place...
Cloud: Okay, bring back Zuul, and tell him that there's a pizza boy from hell at the door for him.
Okay, I know that was gay...the next one's even worse.

.


Lol

Aeris:%&^@
Barret:Guns are bad, and Shin-Ra is good, I'LL RUN FOR PRESIDENT!
Cloud:Why am I trying to kill Sephiroth?
Sephiroth:I'd rather watch Barney than kill the planet.
Jenova:Why am I so evil?
Tifa:My boobs are WAY too small.
Cid:I learned on the Science Channel that smoking is BAD for you.
Vincent:I was never actually sleeping in the basement, I was playing with myself.
Red XII:I think Grandpa has a big fan up his @$$ that makes him float.
Reno:I hate the turks.
Rude:I dunno why, but I just can't stop talking.
Elena:I hate my hair.
Heidigger:I'm a fat b@$t@rd that laughs like a horse

*Cloud and Aeris makin' with the love*

Cloud: "Oh, Oh, Aerith, Oh..."
Aeris: "Who did you call me?!?!"
Cloud: "uhh..."

Sorry. Thought of a new one...

Screen goes black: "500 years later"

Red XIII Running by himself through the canyon, comes up apon a cliff overlooking a grassy Midgar and roars...

"WHY DID THEY SPAY AND NOOTER ME!!!????? DAMN YOU BOB BARKER!!!"

:laugh:

(please note that i admit beforehand that this is a total 8bit theatre rip off)

*party arrives at gold saucer*
npc: welcome to gold saucer
cloud: hey thanks, what is this place?
npc: welcome to gold saucer
cloud: uhh yeah....ok...is that all you say?
npc: welcome to gold saucer
*cloud walks away confused*
cloud: who is dumb enough to only know one sentence
*meanwhile*
npc: welcome to gold saucer
yuffie: i like materia
npc: welcome to gold saucer
yuffie: i like materia
npc: welcome to gold saucer
yuffie: i like materia......

Vincent: I love you all!

Barret: Tifa, I want you

Cloud: Vincent, what were you doing in that coffin for all those years?
Vincent: I had a stack of Playboys. And there was just enough room to move my hand...

YOU IDIOT! YOU REPHRASED MY 'Guys, I wasn't really sleeping in the basement...I was playing with myself' JOKE!
Theif..
Theif..
Theif..
Theif..
Stoner..
Theif..
Crack head..
Theif..
I can't list the rest, so I'll skip to the end..
Homosexual..

i'm surprised someone hasn't said
red xiii: woof

Red XII:Woof

cloud - did sephiroth do this?

sephiroth - no my children i come in peace *puts flower behind clouds ear*

Wow, Slash, you and UFFFan are coming up on 1000 posts, congratz

i no im trying to get there by the end of the night! wooooooh!!! its taken me long enough though

cloud: Tifa can I borrow some hairspray?

Tifa: no.

Lol, good one Ndi. I'm made like, 100 posts today.

Cloud: My name is Cloud (omits Ex _Soldier part).

Aeris: " Barret im going to beat your ass."

Tifa: Cloud, you are a wuss.

Barret: I love Grammar.

Yuffie: That was very immature.

Cait Sith: I look so badass with this suit.

Red XIII: I am a teenager, i don't want to grow up.

Vincent: "That is so sad "weeps".

Cid: "Shera you brighten up my life"

Sepiroth: How romantic.

i suck at this.

isnt your sig breaking the rules abit?

Haha, he got the `Sig limits: 400x150, 50kb' thing, haha, stupid, don't use sig's over that size, ha ha.

Tifa (while entering the shinra building , spots the 3 wheeld van) "As if i'm not havin a razz on that bad boy!

Cloud (at kalm hotel) "Do your chefs make full english breakfasts?"

Cid (on Highwind) "Ey! You lot! I know we're off to Cosmo Canyon but i need to turn this bitch round. I gotta step off at Spar for a pack of fags!"

Red 13 - "My grammer sucks"

Cait Sith - "Fuck the Gold Saucer , I'm off to Blackpool. You Cid , Blackpool!"
Cid - " Spar first mate"
Yuffie - "Tesco's is cheaper dickhead"

Yuffie- Here have all of my materia as a present
Red XIII- Doesn't anybody realise that my grandfather is human and i am a dog?
Barret-Cloud lets make sweet sweet love
Cloud- Aeris, Tifa leave me alone... YUFFIE I LOVE YOU
Aeris- CLoud I'd appreciate it if you didn't beat me up
Tifa- Aeris your tits are so much larger than mine... I need a breast enlargement
Cait sith- I am the most honest guy here
Vincent- weeee weeeee I am so happy lets sing kum-bai-yah

Vincent: Why am I so happy lately.
Cid: I can't believe you forgot what we did Saturday Night.
Vincent: Shhhh, Cloud's coming, if he found out, he would divorce me.

Cloud: Sucky Sucky $2!
Tifa: Barett! Get your finger outa there!
Aeris: Tifa! Me Next!!!
Yuffie: Hey Vincent, ever eaten pussy before?
Vincent: Well HELLO Yuffie!
Cait Sith: Here Red XIII, here boy!
Red XIII: Its Bacon!

Aeris: willy woo!!
Barrett: Willy woo!?
Tifa: Willy Willy Woo
Cloud: No Way...

Barret: This thread has turned into a sexual/homosexual/lesbian joke thread..
Cloud: This thread has turned into a sexual/homosexual/lesbian joke thread..
Tifa: This thread has turned into a sexual/homosexual/lesbian joke thread..
Aeris: This thread has turned into a sexual/homosexual/lesbian joke thread..
Red XII: This thread has turned into a sexual/homosexual/lesbian joke thread..
Vincent: This thread has turned into a sexual/homosexual/lesbian joke thread..
Yuffie: This thread has turned into a sexual/homosexual/lesbian joke thread..
Cait Sith: This thread has turned into a sexual/homosexual/lesbian joke thread..

Barret: This thread has turned into a sexual/homosexual/lesbian joke thread..
Cloud: This thread has turned into a sexual/homosexual/lesbian joke thread..
Tifa: This thread has turned into a sexual/homosexual/lesbian joke thread..
Aeris: This thread has turned into a sexual/homosexual/lesbian joke thread..
Red XII: This thread has turned into a sexual/homosexual/lesbian joke thread..
Vincent: This thread has turned into a sexual/homosexual/lesbian joke thread..
Yuffie: This thread has turned into a sexual/homosexual/lesbian joke thread..
Cait Sith: This thread has turned into a sexual/homosexual/lesbian joke thread..
cloud: hey aeris, wanna fuck?
aeris: sure *strips off dress to reveal leather dominatrix outfit*
tifa: what about me?
yuffie: dont worry baby, ill take care of you *kisses*
barett: oh god *falls over* must......jerk off......now
cid: shera, sit down, shut up. we are gonna go at it for hours, you will fucking enjoy it. and then we are gonna drink the GODDAMNED TEA!
vincent: hey red, i mean this in more than one way, your ass is on FIRE!
cait sith: reeve is not availible at the moment, because he is having an orgy with scarlet and palmer in a pool of lard, please leave a message after the beep *beep*

you would think by now it would end since it has started to repeat itself and the true humor ended months ago, but i guess not.

This thread will never end, as long as we have new people to post bad jokes in it - UNLESS someone closes it.

Cloud: "do you think this sword makes me look fat"

Aeris: perhaps i should get a breast enlargement

Cloud: "No Aeris I will not make out with you"

You see? You see?

Power to Gaffelmannen/Professor Lupin/Dark Auron. Because he is wize.

I'm flattered.

Marlene: Daddy, what the fuck is up with your arm!

Barret: Ok Cloud, I've finally figured out what the storyline means!

Bugenhagen: List of things to do- Kill Red XIII, buy all the materia and kill everyone in Cosmo Canyon, and finish building that Mako Station for the Shinra!

Rufus: All the Midgar peasants were killed?! Oh no!!!!

Sephiroth: *Sigh* Jenova, you are such a bitch!

Cid: Swearing is so wrong! I would never swear!

Vincent: Let's find Hojo! I want to personally thank him for all the kind things he's done to me!

Cloud: Hair gel? I've never used it in my life!

FF
Playing kingdom hearts
Cloud: Wow, I look like sephiroth, FINALY I AM SEXY!(jacks off to self)
Tifa: Isnt Aeris dead?, she looks younger..., AH HA FACE LIFT!
VINCENT: ACK ZOMBIES!(Runs screaming)
Yuffie: Whos the hunk Im with?
Cloud: Yeah he has a nice ass...
Sephiroth: Why do I have a demon wing?, I am an angel
Yuffie: Wow that little boys hot, Tifa since I am 16, would I be a petifile?
Tifa: Yes, but I wanna touch him too
Cid: yes little boys are strangly attractive...

Tifa: Are my tits to big?
Barrett: Yeah!
Tifa: im going to go get them reduced!

Tifa: I dont have breasts, they are polygons and I am seriously considering getting a lower poly count after all the shit you guys keep talking.

Sheesh! jaggie boobs are so hot!

Firstly, hey there.

Secondly,

Rude: Can I borrow a comb?

Reno: Would I look sexy with Blonde hair?

Barret: Shinra is the greatest company ever! They're helping the planet and making life more convenient for everyone!

Cid: I'm afraid of flying....Being so high up scares me....and I'd never want to go into space...

Yuffie: Materia is boring....*gives all materia away*

Under water fight with that emarland(don't know how to spell) weapon

Cloud: So u also the one in sephiroth side , aren't u ?
Barret & Tifa: Guess so!
Weapon: Pip...Bzzzz.... ???
Cloud: What the hell did u say??U will atack me ? U mother XXXXXX bring it on

Using Omnislash, during running....

Barret & Tifa: Cloud Wait !!!! Sephiroth phone !!!

On the phone...
Sephiroth: Cloud u son of a ^&$^% , i know i am evil , but why the @&$* say that weapon is on my @#$%#$% side? I tell u i am not free now, i still need to train my self to become ultimate form.
Cloud: Why the hell i care?
Sephiroth:I want to tell u that the weapon say he will help u to defeat me as i am too strong for u all.
Cloud: OMFG ! Why don't u call me earlier.......
Weapon: Bizzzzzz.............(BOMB)
Cloud:Sephiroth.....ARRRRRRRRRRRRR

When fight ruby weapon....
Cloud: Just Chill out.....
Ruby:Bzzzzz!!!!!!
Cloud:u want to help me right?
Ruby Use ultima!!
Cloud:Hell! Why u attack me?
Phone!!
Sephiroth: O ya! Ruby is on my side so enjoy urself!!!
Cloud:......
Cloud:Knight Of The Round!!!!!!!!!

When fight Ultimate weapon
Cloud:Dude, i don't want to fight u know!
Weapon:Bzzz.....
Cloud:Just give me the Ultima weapon and i let u to destroy this world, Deal!
Weapon: ^^Bzzz....
Cloud:So, this is ultima weapon! Too bad it was a joke go died now!

Final Battle
Cloud:Sephiroth i am gonna kill u.
Sephiroth:U wish!Final Attack!!!
Cloud:NO!!!!!
Cloud died and revive
Sephiroth: How the hell u revive!!
Cloud: Is call summon- Pheonix!
Sephiroth: Cheater!!
Cloud: STFU and go died now!!!
Cloud:W-summon KOTR!!
Sephiroth:Erm....
Cloud: ?
Sephiroth:.....Where is KOTR.....
Cloud:Holly Shit. No mp!
Sephiroth:Prepare to died!!
Cloud:Omnislash!!!
Cloud:I WON!!!
Sephiroth:U are not.....Jenova transform Jehovah
Cloud:God u @$#%&, u also help sephiroth....
Jehovah: who say i am going to help him....
Sephiroth:U are my mom, how can u 4get me...
Jehovah:.......
Jehovah:Who care!Just complete the battle and let me take away the dead body to heaven
Cloud: Bye sephiroth!!! Omnislash!!!
Sepiroth:NOOOOO!!!!

Cloud:.............
Barret:Cloud, why today u are so quite......
Cloud:..............
Barret:Can't u just say something......
Cloud:........
Alice:Cloud, will u go out with me?
Tifa:Don't go out with alice,come with me please ?
Yuffie:Hey,cloud please don't leave me......
Barret:I see.....Is not my business, bye
Alice:Cloud!!
Tifa:Cloud??
Yuffie:Cloud....
Cloud:......
Alice & Tifa & Yuffie:Who do u want to go out with?
Cloud:........
Cloud:Ok, i have decide
Alice & Tifa & Yuffie: WHO ???
Cloud:Girls.....Alice-U are kind and sweet, Tifa-U are my childwood friend , Yuffie-U are a secret ninja and u are really sweet, u all are really good friend.....but.......
Alice & Tifa & Yuffie: But What???
Cloud:To tell the truth i am Gay

Cloud:I am cloud,the main character
Cloud:I am cloud,the puppet
Cloud:I am cloud,all 3 girls run behind me
Alice & Tifa & Yuffie: As if and throw rubbish on cloud
Cloud:I am cloud,who want to kill sepiroth
Cloud:I am cloud,who use a lot of hair gel
Cloud:I am cloud.......
Cid,Barret,Red XIII,Vincent:Bitxh can't u just STFU we are trying to sleep
Cloud:I am cloud......I am cloud.....
Cid,Brret,Red XIII,Vincent:Just STFU!!!!

Sepiroth:I am the angel.....
Cloud:Of death!!
Sepiroth: How dare u say that to me!prepare to died!!!
Cloud:Well, Jonava! your son is trying to kill me!!
Sepiroth: why u call my mom
Jenova:Sepiroth why u are so naughty?
Sepiroth:But mom he call me angel of death.
Jenova:So what, like i call u Sep
Sepiroth:That's different, u are my mom and he is not one of our family
Jenova:How dare u say that!Remember cloud? He is your stepdad!
Sepiroth:........

Cloud: Dude, anyone can give me a gray sword of any colour?
Cloud: Everyone, please make a straight circle!!!
Cloud: Is so hot, please open the car window and let the airforce come in
Cloud: I feel pretty, so pretty, but i am not gay!
Cloud: Anyone want a milkshake please go to tifa's bar
Cloud: Well, are we going to fight the Jehovah ?

Cloud:Tifa
Tifa:?
Cloud:I...erm...
Tifa:Just say
Cloud:I am going out with u not because u are so pretty...
Tifa:Because of what then...
Cloud:Because u got nice boobs and butt....
Tifa:I see, so you want to see my body?
Cloud:If u allow me...
Tifa:wait a sec...
Cloud:(to himself)O yeah, my plan work
Tifa:U want to see my body right....
Cloud:Ya
Tifa:U wish!! Final Heaven!!

wow, hextonal post, thats a new one

(Tifa to Barret)

How come your daughter is white while you are black?

Barret: Violence is wrong and so are guns.
Aeris:I am wearing nothing underneath this pink dress Cloud go on just rip it iff.

Finally! it must have taken me about 5 hours to read the whole thread from start to finish. to be honest you had to trawl through a load of crap to get to the good bits but they were hilarious at times. i feel i should probably make a contribution of my own so here goes. (dont worry no gay jokes)

(at gold saucer race track)
Tifa: cloud can i have a go (at the chocobo races)
Cloud:i dont know i mean i just got this gold chocobo after tryin for weeks to breed it and its pretty inbred i mean his grandfather, father and uncle are all the same bird. and im not sure it could handle the extra weight.
Tifa:Whats that supposed to mean?
Cloud:well.......you know........
Tifa:no.....
Cid:look your huge tits would break the poor five clawed mutants back.

(ok so that was shit and unless youv spent a ridiculous amount of time breeding chocobos and realised the amount of inbreeding that actually goes on you probably dont care)

Aeris:Do some people have a lisp or is my name spelt differently in other versions of the game?

Cloud:I'm Cloud and Squall kicked my ass the other day
(like thats ever goin to happen_

Cloud: "Oh no!! I think I hurt Rufus too much with my sword. TIFA!! GET SOME DISINFECTENT!!"

Tifa: "I feel sooo bad for Aeris..." *bawls continously*

Barret: "C'mon, Cloud. Let's give you a... MAKEOVER!!!"

Red XIII: "Hey, guys! Let's join up, cross-dress and become famous strippers!"

Yuffie: "Did you lose this Knights of the Round materia?" *hands it to Cloud*

Cait Sith: "Guys, I think we should save the Planet for the well being of the entire human population."

Aeris: "You %$@#$ing $#@$s think you $#%$# $#$%$#!!! GODDAMN IT, WHY'D YOU HAVE TO #%%^$## YOUR %$#%@%# IN HER %#$%$#% $$$##@!"

Cid: "YAAAA!! Can I have a real cute Easter theme for my stripping outfit, Red XIII?"

Don Corneo: *In a rehab center* Hello. My name is Don and I have a problem respecting women.
Everyone: "HI, DON!!"
Don Corneo: "I hope with your help, I'll be able to become a better person."

Vincent: "OOOO, EASTER!! CAN I HAVE THAT THEME TOO?"

Rufus: "Father, I know you want me to become a successful president someday, but I've decided to go into a barber college."
President Shinra: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

Reno: "Sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows. Everything that's wonderful is what I feel when we're together."
Rude: "What the hell are you listening to?"
Reno: "I..errr..nothing..ummm..NICKELBACK!!! *to himself*:Ya, Nickelback, he'll take it.*
Elena: "Stop acting like a child, Reno. We've got a mission to accomplish!"

Sephiroth: "Can I have a Christmas theme for my stripper outfit??
Cid: "I dunno... You gotta be a man to join our stripper club."
Red XIII: "Hmmm, maybe Christmas CAN make an adorable theme..."
Vincent: "You can join, but we have to give you a... MAKEOVER!!"

Chocobo Sage: "I have photographic memory. Don't say that I can't remember every aspect of my life!"

That's what I have to offer. I hope you like this until I remember other additional characters to parody. Hehehe.

Aeris would never say "I'm bored. I know! I'll ask Cloud and Tifa to join me in a threesome!"
And Cloud would never say "Why don't I give Sephiroth Tifa in exchange for the safety of the world?"
Vincent would never say "Why the f!@k have I been livin' in a coffin fer 20 years!? Lucrecia was an ugly bitch anyway!!!

Cloud:Aeris carry my bags upstairs i or else i might break a nail
Aeris:Stupid �$^*^&@ Cloud Why cant he carry his own %*_:*(^$� bags

Cloud and Aeris are in the box at the gold saucer

Cloud:I want to get to know you aeris
Aeris:what do you mean i'm right here
Cloud:No the real you
Aeris:the real me
Cloud:aeris i....

Firework comes in through window

Cloud:hey whats that...
BANG

Aeris: I just broke a Finger nail
Cloud: Oh No! call an ambulance

Tifa:I see some flowers other in the mako rector
Cloud Oh I love flowers let me smell one

Cloud:OW

Aeris:Lets kick their asses
Cloud:Oh no lets be nice
Aeris:No lets kickthier %^&$* asses
Cloud:No

Barret:I dont like guns!

Cloud:My Swords to Big

This next thing isn't really what he wouldn't say is's more what he was thinking
Cid:I wonder if i could light my cigarete on Reds Tail?HHmmmm

Cloud:Where's Cait Sith?

Vincent:Cid can I be pilot?
Cid:Sure!

Vincent's in battle and an enemy shoots his hair
Vincent:AAAAHHHH it takes me hours to get that style!

That's all i can up with any1 got anything else?

Barret: Cloud coud you get rid of your sword I woke up last night and walk into it

Cloud: yes I Will get rid of it, I keep walking into it as well I am going to thow it in the life stream

Vincent: I wanted a cremation.

Cloud: Okay, here's the plan, we sneak into Barret's room, undetected, and steal all his hair and then kill Red XIII and eat him for one DELICIOUS dinner.
Tifa: Why the hell do we need his hair?
Cloud: Your mom, that's why!
Tifa: You suck Cloud.
Cloud: Yeah, your mom!
Then, they do what Cloud said, and Red XIII dies hardcore and they all live...not happily ever after cause Red XIII rules...they should've eaten Yuffie...but that sounds perverted...haha

Hojo: I figured out all those otha experiments...HTML is another story. I am puzzled by the button that does nothing. I click it and it does nothing!!!! It's drivin me mad!!!! *jumps out of first floor window*

Cloud: tifa you slut! gimme back my nintendo 64! i almost beat ganondorf!
Tifa: CLOUD! just because i am dressed like this, does NOT alow you to call me a slut!
cloud: well look at yourself! thats like me goin to midgar dressed in a SOLDIER uniform and a civilian runs up to me saying "oh my god thank goodness! theres a man who was robbed, you have to. . ." and i say , "Hey! just becaused i am dressed like this, does NOT mean i am in SOLDIER!!
Tifa: O . o
Cloud: Your right, you arent a slut, but i will say this, you ARE wearing a slut's uniform.
tifa: giggle. . kill him sephy
sephiroth: do i look like O.J. to you?

Cloud:Tifa, your hair smells fresh.
Tifa:It's herbal essence. Like it?
Cloud"Oooh Yeah.
Tifa:"Blushed"
Cloud:"smiles"

Aeris: that barret guy looks pretty hot
Tifa: Ive done him before, he's not the best
Marlene: What the fuck r u bitches talken about?
Barret: *shoots Marlene* Please dont swear...
Cloud: Has any1 ever wondered why my name is cloud?
Cait Sith: cuz your a fag?
Red XIII: thats half right...he also raped 10 familys inclued his own
Tifa: Cloud...i cant believe u did that without me!
Aeris: I'm a whore
Yuffie: Who isnt
Vincent: Did u guys know that me and barret are gay with eachother
Everyone but vincent and barret: what? thats pretty weird

the end

Cait Sith:I love Diablo...he's way too cool...

Cloud:Tifa are you mexican?

Cloud:Tifa are you mexican?

Tifa:No, i'm arabian...

kadaj: should i gel my hair to the left or right?!?!?!?!
cloud: let me do it for you i am quite the hairdresser yay

Barret: okay cloud you go in and blow up the reactor Im going to rob that watermelon stand

Barret: okay cloud you go in and blow up the reactor Im going to rob that watermelon stand

lol!

cloud: barret why are you leaving me i thought we were lovers?

Barret: I want a Mexican...r u mexican?

Barret: Hey guys guess what?
*SPLODE* Evry1 dies earth destroyed, sephiroth does the maccarina

In reactor 8:

Barret: Well you go set the bomb.
Cloud: Ooooh yeah the bomb , yeah about that....
Barret: What???
Cloud: I left it at the "base".....sorry

*A few miles away an explosion is heard*

Cloud: Heh heh....tee hee.....
Barret: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!! *Shoots and kills Cloud*

Cloud: ♪I wanna take you to a gay bar. Let's start a nuclear war...at a gay bar♪
Barret: Um...Cloud, buddy you feelin' okay?

Sephiroth vs. Cloud:

Seph.:Hey Cloud, ever notice that ur hair is spiky?

Clo.:Of course, why?

Seph.:What about that one giant one in the middle

Clo.:Oh that....that one's a cowlick

Seph.:Oh......so....what do you do in the shower....cuz that's how cowlicks form....lack of showering.......

Clo.: Do you shower?

Seph.:*sobs*no, how do you think my hair turned out like that in the front!!! *runs off crying*

Clo.:Hah the planet is safe

Planet: *sees Lifestream protruding from it* OH NO A COWLICK. I MUST CLEAN.

cloud: need more hair gell

cid: nice day, no?

hojo: oh what have i done to this poor creature? why?? take me instead!!!!

yuffie: i hate materia, materia sucks

Vincent: (fixing his hair, singing) I feel pretty, oh so pretty, oh so pretty and witty and----"
Cloud, Tifa, Cid: (yell) "GAY!"

thats soo funny, love it!!!!

sounds like that movie with adam sandler in it

(at Costa Del Sol, beach)
Red Xlll: i wasnt goin to eat u for real back at the lab
Aeris: ur soo kind and gentle
Red Xlll: if cloud hadnt came, along with his gang...
Aeris(yell): u would have married me hands down!!!
Red Xlll (surprised) no, i would have let Hojo release another speiceman so i wasnt stuck with u in a bigass, glass jar!!!!
Aeris (stunned): Mmmm......
Red Xlll: sorry to bring u down
Aeris: thats ok
Red Xlll : r u sure?
Aeris : yeah, after all, i ran into a fellow at the bar that advertises speedos and.......well, if i was u, id find a nice piece of carpet tonight
Red Xlll (removes shades) : why cant i sleep with u?
Aeris (awkwardly) : well, u can but...... him and i sorta made a mess last night........sorry
Aeris gets up from chair and walks to exit
Red Xlll ( as Aeris walks away) : WHHAAAAAT!!!!!!!!!!!

End of Advent Children:

Zack: *stares at Cloud, whispers* Aeris is mine now bitch

Cloud: Damn...

cloud:*looking at vincent* "wow. look at the body one him. he just gives me such a huge........*looks down*. oooh vincent. i want you so bad"

vincent:*looking at cloud* "oh god. he has a.......hardon...........i want him"

we can only hope.

nice thread.. mind if I join?
here's my idea

Yuffei: Cloud! use my materia!
cloud: ok, thanks
yuffei: now the only things is I need you to give me your materia so that I can lend it to you
cloud: ok, here... ehh!! wait!!
yuffei:heh heh heh sucker :P

____

cloud: hey seph... why does you stab aerith but there's no blood?

spehiroth: its because I'm using masamune you moron!, don't you know there's a legendary sword that can cut people without bleeding? you should at least
know some weapon information... thats why you can only second rate ex soldier...bla bla bla...imbecile fool...bla bla bla...

cloud: but... isn't it muramasa that can cut people without bleeding?.. it's not masamune...

septh:......... well look at the time, talks over! lets fight...

cloud: wasted!! muahahaha!!

vincent: (winks to cloud) cloud, do u like my hair(in a girlyvoice)no, wwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh
cloud: i wonder y he never reloads his gun?????
aeris: shut the %&*#$ up losers!!

sephiroth: ya know, i was in ff7, ff7 advent children, kingdom heatrs, and kh2, and every time i die i come back to life, WTF is up with that????????????/

cloud: hey barret ,u have a gun on ur arm but do u no where my sword goes when we arent in battles??

barret: how the he** sholud i no

rufus: hey , y dont i take my electro rod and........ (to the little black dog) .... wow little black dog, ur great in bed!!!

Sepiroth : LENGTH!
Cloud : GIRTH!
Tifa and Aeris : Sausage fight!

Also : What REALLY happened between Reno and Rude. () [NSFW]

Cloud: "\/\/4zzUP!!!!1 omg l0xx0rz aeris is teh dead n00bs!"
Sephiroth: "Care to buy some flowers or cookies anyone?"
Aerith: "Hey that f**ktard Cloud's broken. I'll fix that f**ker with my pole..."

*Hits Cloud*

Cloud: "0wwwww!!!!!1 u ahole i'll kick ur ass wtf?"
Tifa: "I just wanna say Cloud is an asshole... I don't care about him at all..."
Aeris: "Who the f**k is that? Oh it's that slut Tifa... You're gonna f**king die you f**king useless f**ker!"

*Slapfight between Tifa and Aeris breaks out*

Sephiroth: "Please stop fighting! Fighting is bad!"

*Cloud kills with sword*

Cloud: "lol i got teh girlz fightin ova me n sephys dead wtf lol seeya n00bs!"
Vincent: "Hey everyone... Wanna see my boobs?"
All: "FOR THE LAST TIME NO!"

Cid: *Flying Highwind* "Oh dear I'm think I'm gonna be airsick again..."
Yuffie: "Just shut up... I'm drinking demon blood so I can feel the darkness that envelopes my soul..."
Cloud: "wtf what demon blood lol"

*Yuffie drinks it*

Nanaki: "Hey... My ear medicine! Where'd you find it Yuffie?"
Cloud: "lol pwn3d!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Sephiroth faLLIN from the sky kills aeris aeris falls down dead cloud gets pissed
sephiroth: Oops sorry hey hey r u ok c'mon get up it was anaccident cloud cant we all be friends oops

Tifa: I need a smaller bra...

Aeris: Geesh, I feel like getting drunk and have a banal sense of humor...

Cloud: I'm a motherf*cking P.I.M.P.

Cid: I quit smoking..

Caith Sid: I'm the funniest character in the game.

Barret: Yes. It was a good idea to pick up that stranger from the bushes called Yuffie. She didnt cause any unnecessary s**t at all...

Tifa: Hey Yuffie? You wanna know something?

Yuffie: Maybe ..

Tifa: I organised Aeris' death. Now Cloud's all mine. :D

Yuffie: *Backs away*. Why are you telling me this?

Tifa: Because with you gone, then there will be me. Just me.

Yuffie: *Runs for the door, arms flailing*. AHHHHHHH!!!

Tifa: *Kills Yuffie*. Heh heh heeeehhh .. :D

Wasnt Yuffie a dyke anyway??

Aeris: I will survive.

Tifa:I've never,never used an orthopedic underwear.

Sephiroth:*holding arms with Oidipus*:You are the only one who understands how I feel.

Cid: *batting his eyelids playfully*Shera, sweetheart sit down!I'll make tea for both of us!Cookies dear?

Barret:*holding a pink and a red g-string* what do you think love? This one? or this one!?
Vincent:*furious*I don't give a f**k!I'm gonna buy a new model coffin especially made for caves!
Tifa:Coffin?For caves?
Vincent:Yes. It has a pool, an air-condition, chocolates,and Ozzy Osbourne as a bat-repel.

*Yuffie as a reporter is interviewing Cloud*
Yuffie:Cloud,what would have been the last words you'd say to Aeris before her death?
Cloud: Run bitch! RUUUUUUUN!

(As Sephiroth is falling to stab Aeris)

"YES! A PRE-EMPTIVE ATTACK!"

First time hear goes:
RUFUS: My father tried to rule the world with money but i...
CLOUD: Who gives a fuck about you! Your an arsehole
RUFUS: Why you *whips out gun and shoots cloud in the head*!
ALL: We love Rufus! He killed Cloud!
RUFUS: Piss off

RUFUS(to everyone in Midgar): Alright i am the messiah now piss off!
ALL: How should we piss off oh lord
RUFUS: I don't care just go away and leave me alone!

inspiration: Monty Python The Life of Brian

Picture the scene...Cloud, Aeris and Yuffie have been having a conversation

Cloud: You were 14 when you first screwed someone? Isn't under 16 illegal?
Yuffie: Sod illegal, he offered me a set of mastered materia!
Cloud: And you agreed?!
Aeris: Cloud, I think you'd struggle to find anyone who'd decline that offer!

It's my first one, I'm sorry if it's already been done.

(Sorry for the consecutive posting)
Will people please stop saying bits from FF7: About Random Battles without crediting it to that fabulous flash?

For example, it has already been noted in a (very) previous post that the following was said uncredited:

Yuffie joining your party

Yuffie: I'll here to help you...and steal your matiera
Cloud: "what"
Yuffie: And defeat Spheiorth...and steal your matiera
Cloud:what
Yuffie: And watch you when you sleep...and steal your matiera
Cloud: what
Yuffie: and Steal your matiera.. Opps
Cloud: Hey!!

(Which is wrong anyway - not completely, the gist is there, but...)

On page 34, Necron's post includes the "oversized sword" and "50% lightning damage", which alone would be less suspicious, but together very suspicious. I have also seen a post with Barrett saying "I do love my melons", although this may merely be coincidence.

Post #954...

Cloud and Aeris are in the box at the gold saucer

Cloud:I want to get to know you aeris
Aeris:what do you mean i'm right here
Cloud:No the real you
Aeris:the real me
Cloud:aeris i....

Firework comes in through window

Cloud:hey whats that...
BANG

...is a total rip-off, merely reversing the parts spoken by Cloud and Aeris.

Yes okay, it's an informal thread, but I don't think it's fair to spout other people's work so casually without crediting it. Especially something as good as FF7: About Random Battles.

Again, many apologies for consecutive posting! And now, for a stunning revelation, brought to you by Fnlfntsyfn:

Cloud: Hey Aeris, you know this thread?
Aeris: Yeah...has anyone read it all? I know I have.
Cait Sith: I've read the first few pages.
Barrett: Is anyone else thinkin' what I'm thinking?
Tifa: Yup, it's a good thing that nobody seems to have realised...
Yuffie: ...that when we're not on-screen...
Red XIII: ...we actually HAVE said and done most of this.

Suddenly, Vincent and Sephiroth come rushing in.

Vincent: Everyone! The worst has happened!
Cloud: No...!
Sephiroth: Yes. That bas**rd Fnlfntsyfn has added a post telling everyone that half the stuff is true.
Jenova: Well, quite a lot more than hal..
Cid: Shut up a minute Jenova! Is there anything we can do?
Sephiroth: I've already sent Rufus and the Turks to kill him.

Sephiroth's phone rings. The ringtone is One Winged Angel. He smiles sheepishly, then answers the phone.

Sephiroth: Hello? Reno? You WHAT?! Now we'll have to resort to drastic measures. Get back here, and bring Elena, Rufus, Tseng and Rude with you!
Yuffie: Bad news?
Sephiroth: Yep. Fnlfntsyfn got away. What's more, he's recording all we're saying right now. He's probably posting it at this very second...

TO BE CONTINUED...

(If nobody wants to, I will. Unless you all think it's either total crap, or is perfect as it is. All criticism accepted, however grudgingly).

Cid: Look, Barret, there's something I want to tell you...I like yo-
Sephiroth: LOOK! *sees pink fluffy bunnies* BUNNIES! I LUV BUNNIES!

...

Rude: I suddenly feel like something has gone horribly wrong...very wrong.
Tseng: Maybe you just shouldn't have slept with Reno last...
Elena: LOL! PORN! L33T ROBOT! ROBOT PW3S U ALL!
Reno: I'm actually go to do some paperwork for once!

...

*Shinra soldier no.1 gets caught in a headlock with Vincent*
Vincent: Being a demented demon dude can make him lonely...so very lonely *eyes twinkle*
Shinra Soldier no.1: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

...

Shinra Soldier no.2: What the hell was that?
Shinra Soldier no.5: Maybe Rufus is banging up Shinra Soldier no.1 again.
Shinra Soldier no.2: Yeh, you're right.