Tifa: I like it like that! I guess so I guess so! I like it like that!
Cloud:Let's make this night last forever Tifa sweethart! Give daddy some sugar!
Tifa:Give it to me baby!
Cloud: Uh-Huh Uh-Huh!
Tifa:Give it to me baby!
Cloud:Uh-Huh Uh-Huh!
Tifa:Give it to me baby!
Cloud:Uh-Huh! Uh-Huh! And all the girls say I'm pretty fly!
Barret and Tifa:For a white guy!

Nice one!


Hello, i am new to ff shrine anyway, i think youll enjoy this

Hello, i am new to ff shrine anyway, i think youll enjoy this

aeris:cl,cloud?are you awake?

cloud:yeah what?!?!{drinks from shasta bottle}

aeris:cl,cloud, im a shemale......

cloud:??????{passes out and explodes for no apparent reason}

Barret:DAAAAMN!!!!{in stereo type black voice}

Tifa: its okay, im one to!!he he he!...

cloud explodes again.

LOL! Very good!!



Cid:Pooping is fun!


LOLOLOL!!


Cloud: *to Aerith* Oh, you got SERVED!

Barret: Eat your cheese sandwich!

Vincent: CUURSE! CURRSE!!! MAKE!!!! CURRRSE!!!!

Rufus: *performing a speech* Now, before I begin tonight, I'd like to discuss with you all the serious subject of schizophrenia. No he doesn't! Shut up, let him talk! Ha ha.. just kidding. No he's not!...uh-oh.

Very funny!!



Man, these are REALLY good. Keep posting!

cid: man i gotta stop smoking...

Tifa:Man, I gotta stop drinking! I'm closing my bar!
Cloud: I gotta learn to be more modest instead of being Cocky.
Aerith:I'm gonna lawn mower all the flowers in my garden!
Barret: I won't be needing my gun arm anymore! Time to get a fake arm with hand!
Red XIII:I DON'T wanna be an adult! Too much responsibilty!
Cait Sith: I gotta cut back on my gambling habbits!
Yuffie: I'm looking too slutty in my clothes. Maybe I'll buy a nice long dress like Aerith's in Midgar!
Marlene: I'm glad Tifa's closing her bar.
Vincent: I need to learn to socialize more.
Cid:My cussing's gone to far! Instead of saying shit, I'll say shishkabob.
Sephiroth:I'm throwing my sword away. It sucks!

Cloud: Wow seph, your like sooo my bestest buddy ever!
seph: i think ill braid my hair......
Barret: I cant feel my fingers, GOD where've they gone ARGHHH!
Red XIII: I love ketchup.....its so.......RED!

Red XIII,Cloud and Barret are after been in a battle Cloud died and they ran out of Phoenix down.

Barret:*Cries* I never got the chance to tell him I loved him
Red XIII:there,there I'm sure he knew
Barret:BUT NOT THAT I WAS IN LOVE WITH HIM *CRIES*

Sephiroth: "How comes I'm in my mid-30's and I've got completey grey hair?"

Ah ha ha ha ha! lol this is so funny!um here goes........(from finding nemo those who've seen the film)
Cloud: *hears the funny voice in his head [he hears it alot in the game]* WHAA! who was that! Are you my consious(how to spell it?)
Funny voice: yeeess clooud imm yourr consiousss
Cloud: I see, a light- hey consious- Am i dead?

*Squall when approaching Ifrit in the caves*
"AW, HELL NO!!"
*Runs out of caves screaming*

P.S. Starlitdragon check your pm.

Yuffie:Drugs are bad children M'okay

Red XIII:Your my best friend in the world
Rufus Shinra:STOP HUMPING MY LEG ALREADY!!!!

Aeris:Tifa your so plastic.
Tifa:Shut up bitch
Aeris:Bimbo
Tifa:Cloud needs a real woman
Aeris:*stabs tifas breasts with a pin*
*They both explode*

*HOE DOWN!!!!*
Cloud : ohhh once i tried to save the world but it nearly got me kill! i kept taking pills like a star at beveilly hills!
Barret : A very long time ago my town REjected me but now i see that they want me dead hhehehehe O_O!
*little thing ehh here it goes*
Red : MY TAIL IS ONE 'FIRE' IT IS MAKING ME 'HIGHER' WITH EVERY STEP I TAKE I FEEL 'DRYER!'
(ya i know dum lol)

aerith to red xiii
"i would like to commit bestiality."

Cloud: I'm going to start a flower business to spread joy through the world

Cid: I think I'm going to quit smoking, I'm concerned about the lung cancer and all...

Aerith: I'm sorry, Cloud..I've found another man...
Cloud: What? Who? It's not...
Aerith: Yes..it's...it's...Master...
Cloud: Nabeshin!? That basta-
Aerith: No, not him. That guy's a loser!
*Master Chief pulls up in a warthog*
MC: C'mon baby. Let's roll.
Aerith: Goodbye, Cloud *jumps in warthog, MC kicks up dust in Cloud's face*
Cloud: This ain't over....
Tifa: Cloud, I've found someone else...
Cloud: Shit.
Tifa: *starting to blush* Someone...amazing...
Cloud: Hey, who has a bigger sword than me!?
Tifa: But.. he carries viagra in his field pack...who wouldn't..with a name like that...
*Solid Snake sneaks up, knocks Cloud out, and makes off with Tifa*
Cloud: *waking up* Crap.
Yuffie: I guess it's just you and me, big boy. *whispering* You and your materia..heh heh heh...

Cloud : HAHAHAHAHAH AH HAHAHAHAHH thats a funny one mister binglesmit!
*barret passes the room as cloud says that and begins to walk backwarks and looks into the room. there was cloud dressed in a english ladies dress and his have a tea party with a chai barret begins to watch cloud*
Cloud : ohhh mister binglesmit how dare you you litte devil *giggles*
*barret get a look like his seen a ghost and begins to puke*
*****later*****
Cloud : Hi Barret
Barret : GET AWAY YOU YOU CHAIR LOVIN HOMO!!!
*cloud stoped and looked at barret*
Cloud : oh you mean mister binglesmit his not a chair
*all of a sudden green somke poofs bye cloud and a barney looking firgure stood there*
mister binglesmit : heheheheh
*barret takes crazy pills*

(ok in know that was just stupid kill me now!)

ha ha ha

Cloud:*crushes pill in tifas drink*
Tifa:*looks at cloud*
Cloud:*jumps out window* I REGRET NOTHINGGGG!!!

For the love of God, people, what kind of a discussion is this...

For the love of God, people, what kind of a discussion is this...

It's a funny, entertaining one, n00b.

Oh come on, tis hilarious.....

after 14 pages this thread is starting to go... down hill

Cid:Geico, can help me with car insurance. Too bad I dont have a car *looks up at airship*. I told Shera this Airship was stupid, but nooooo!

Cid:Geico, can help me with car insurance. Too bad I dont have a car *looks up at airship*. I told Shera this Airship was stupid, but nooooo!

...Lol...

Cid: Someone help me drive this crazy thing!!!
Cloud: It's only a Merry-Go-Round!
Cid:It's scary
Cloud: Alrighty, how 'bout the roller coaster

*on roller coaster*
Cid:Wooohoooo
Cloud:HOLY SH...BLEH!!! *throws up*

Barret( Standing outside Shinra HQ chanting): I LOVE MAKO REACTORS, MAKO POWER FOREVER, WHO GIVES A DAMN ABOUT THE PLANET

Aeris: Lets bust this joint ( walks up to bar) Gimme something hard buffon before i ram my staff up your arse

Cloud: I hate spikey hair ( proceeds to throw all his hair gel out of the window and grows a mullet)

Sephiroth: Black is sooo last years colour

Red 13: I love hojo really

Cid: ( as rocket blasts off) Is this a bad time to mention i suffer from vertigo?

Cait Sith: Fuck Shinra, they're a bunch of Back stabbing bastards

Yuffie: Free Materia, All materia on this stall is free

Vincent: Sod this coffin for a lark, i'm off to Comet to buy a bed!

Rufus: Cease Mako production immediately

President Shinra: Sod the Promised land, im off to Gold Saucer

Dios: Is my skin too shiney

Tifa: Violence solves nothing, say it with flowers

Jenova: Bugger this planet for a laugh

Bugenhagen: Group sex, Group sex

I'll try and think up some more

Vincent: I love you.



((Ok that was corny but my head hurts right now))


Tifa: Hula hula hula.
Aeris: Huzza huzza huzza
Yuffie: Love ya love ya love ya

*Tifa and Aeris gives her a look*

Yuffie: Can't a les get some love?

Cloud "I am Straight!"

(You can tell im new -.-)

Cloud:Aeris, can I keep one of your boogers. They're ancient! *sees a brown rock in her nose* Yay!

Sephiroth: "KEGGEHGEHHEERGURGUR!!!"
Barret: "Monster corporations are good for the planet!"
Vincent: "Actually.......pink is more my color."

Cloud:Aeris, can I keep one of your boogers. They're ancient! *sees a brown rock in her nose* Yay!

AHAHAHAHHAA!

*Cloud on motorcycle* sees flash of yellow
Cloud: s***!!!!
BANG!!!!* explosion of yellow feathers*
Cloud: *jumps off bike swearing* Damn chocobos.

Aerith:Go me! Go me! Goooooo Me! Do your best! Do your best! Don't lose ME!

Tifa:Hey Aerith, are you on drugs?

Cloud:Let's leave.

I got bored.

Tifa: Oh cloud, your sword is so big and hard..
Cloud: *smirks* Yeah I know...Wanna touch it?
Tifa: Okay...*touches it* The hardedge is a really nice sword.
Cloud: Oooh..Nice. You're really good at using my sword.

Cloud doing Omnislash: This is how to cut your opponent into tiny pieces and then put them back together again. Up, Down, Repeat.

Cloud: This sword's too heavy!!!
Rude: I hate sunglasses
Sephiroth: I'm gonna run an animal sanctuary, peace brother, save the planet

Tifa: Forget about me Cloud, run after aeris (I'm a Cloti fan btw)

cloud: hey, screw all you guys, i'm gonna go watch a lil manga porn. fight sephiroth yourselves!

Cloud with ADHD......
Cloud: "Okay....now...to kill Jenova..first I have to cast haste on my party, then I need to cast wall , then I.....uhhh....uhhh.....
....I wonder what kind of underwear Tifa's wearing? I wonder if-*slap*..what was I saying? Ah, Jenova. Now..to attack. *slice. party attacked* Uh-oh! Phoenix down! I need a....what the heck is this? "Ribbon"? What the hell is a ribbon gonna do in a battle? Maybe I'll look pretty when I die!...oh, wait....right...heh. Okay, now... oh, look! A unicorn!!!!!1!!one! *party is killed*

Well, that was kinda dumb..

Okay, here it goes...

Barrett: "Cloud... how did you get your hair so spikey?"
Cloud: "Ohh! I used the latest in hair products."
Barrett: "Can I try some?"
Cloud: "Sure."

*Cloud hands Barrett the hair product*

Barrett: "Mmm... it tastes as good as your hair smells!"
Cloud: *eep*
Aerith: "Has anyone seen my blonde bleach anywhere?"

cloud: you know i'm not a natural blonde...
barret: omfg nooo way!!
cloud: believe it sista
barret: omg vinnie did you know cloud isn't a natural blonde!?
vincent: WTF!? you're kidding me!!??
cloud: no wayy i would never do that
vincent and barret: omfg!!!!

O.o there

HAHAHAHHAHA!!! O man that was nice! Lol

Quoted by Masta Nabeshin
Zack: Okay Cloud. Since I'm gonna die, I want you to live my life for me.
Cloud: Okay..
Zack: First, you need to start by taking my pants!
Cloud:...
Zack: Take them, damn you!
Cloud: Fine, whatever.
Zack: Now, you need my sword. Take that.
Cloud: Alright.
Zack: Now, you're going to be a mercenary. You have two methods of pay: either charge ridiculous amounts of gil, or demand physical services.
Cloud:...right....
Zack: Pay attention! Now, I have a girlfriend in Midgar. Very beautiful. I'm sure you two will go well together. I want to to take care of her. Cherish her and keep her for your own.
Cloud: I'm starting to see the benfits here.
Zack: No sex.
Cloud: I'm sorry?
Zack: No sex, Cloud!
Cloud: *forcing Zacks eyelids shut* Oh, woe is me! My dearest, closest friend and comrade who has been close to me through good times and bad times.. is dead..
Zack: I'm going to take you with me!
Cloud: Is gone forever...before he could make one last request concerning a beautiful woman..
Zack: I'm going to haunt you, Cloud!
Cloud: I can still hear his voice on the wind..I shall honor his wishes and consumate love with his girlfriend for him. *walks away*
Zack: Dammit!



WOW HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA Man that was GREAT

These things are amazing!!!
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'll try one myself!!!!
Jenova: Son... help me...
Sephiroth: Screw you bitch! You're not my mother!!!
Jenova: No son... I am your FATHER!!!!
Seph: NNNNOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How the fuck are you my father?!!?
Jenova: I'm sexless dumbass.
Aeris: Oh Sephiroth... *falls into his arms*
Seph: I'm too good to resist!
Dyne: Someone shoot me.
Vincent: I'm a nice man, really.
Barret: *picks up a flower. Sniffs it* ahhh.
Cid: Shera.. I love you!
Shera: Get away freak!
Red XIII: How have I got a human grandfather?
Bugenhagen: *surrounded by lush women* Where were we?
Zack: Hello, I'm a freak with weird black hair!!!!
Sephiroth: My hair... ITS GREY!!!!!!!! HOW!!!!!!
Hojo: Hee heehehehe eheheehhe. I'm pyshcotic! Tee hee!
Scarlett: Why do I wear this dress?
Heidegger: Why do I have this freaky beard?!
Rufus: *Giving speech* Do you know why I am here? I am here to give you the secret of my hair... and shotgun!!!
Cloud: *Driving motorbike* I CAN'T DRIVE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!
Seph: Maybe I should go for the black pudding-bowl haircut...
Cait Sith: I can't walk properly!!!
Cait Sith: Damn this gambling habit!!!
Dio: Do you think I look like a wrestler?
Marlene: *Pulls out gun* HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!
Reeve: Screw the goatee! I must find the secret to Sephiroth's hair... *turns evilly insane*
Man in Black Cape: Do I look like I'm on crack?

Thats my first try.

Ok..I'm dead bored...and sick...
Cloud: *prancing along* oh what a beautiful morning..oh what a beautiful day...
*starts raining*
Cloud; aww Damn...er..must..think..of song... Why does it always rain on me...na don't like that one....um...it's raining men allelujia!

WTF?!!!
LOL!!!

*Cloud on motorcycle* sees flash of yellow
Cloud: s***!!!!
BANG!!!!* explosion of yellow feathers*
Cloud: *jumps off bike swearing* Damn chocobos.

AAAAAAAAAAAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAAAA(dies from laughter, comes back to life) AHAHAHHAHAAAAA!
That was dirty. I loved it. Hahhaha.



Man in Black Cape: Do I look like I'm on crack?

Thats my first try.

That was beautiful CLoud. You definatly saved the best4 last. ;)

WARNING! IMPLIES MALE/MALE STUFF!

*Cloud hears footsteps coming near to him. He rolls over in his bed (Nibelheim), to see Vincent standing on the other side.*
Cloud: "Vincent?"
*Vince nods*
Vincent: "I can't sleep."
Cloud: "Why not?"
Vincent: "I'm afraid of the dark."
Cloud: "Do you want to sleep with me?"
*Vincent nods again.*

It's not how it sounds! Think of it as little kid who can't sleep and wants to sleep in the bed with mommy.

This is my first shot. Please be nice.

It was good, first timer.

Thank you Shinra Turk.

Here's my second shot:

*Reno steps out of the shower and wraps a towel around him. He exits and head right to his dresser where he keeps his goggles. They aren't there. He rampages*

Reno: "No. NO! I can't find them! Where are they? Wahh!"
*Rude enters smiling*
Rude: "What's wrong?"
Reno: "I can't find my goggles! WAHH!"
*Rude bursts into a laughing fit. Reno screams furiously*
Reno: "What's so funny?"
*Rude points to his friend*
Rude: "They're on you head..."
*Reno's eyes widen as he feels them around his temple.*
Reno: "I knew that!...."

HAHAHAHHAHAAA! Thats so funny, and SO true!

Hehehe! I thought so too.

Attempt #3:

*The party enters Wall Market and go into the bar. They take a seat at the back counter and order thier drinks. Cait Sith is plastered, and making really obnoxios remarks.
Cait Sith: "And then, just in the nick of time, POW! Bye bye Tseng! Woo-HOO! I was so tired of working for that man, even though he did treat me really well. You know that Shinra aren't that bad. They just want world domination and the Promised land, and kill Aer...."
*Barret, attempting to fix his gun arm, sets it off, and the bullet lands in the mouth of Cait Sith, and he chokes, and dies.*
Barret: "Well, that's one way to shut him up."

....it was Ok. I guess. Not as funny as the goggles.

Yeah, I didn't think so. I don't think I can top the goggles though!

Reno: "No one loves me"

Hehe. If only he knew the truth!

Tseng: "How does my hair look?"
Rude: "Like it needs to be cut."

LOLLOLOLOOL!!!! Thats great.

Tseng: MY HAIR! Look how long Reno's is!!!
Rude: But he's sexy, thats his excuse.
All: ....?!
RUde:...what?! He is!

OMG!!! LOL! Too good! LOL!

Elena: "Hey Reno, what are you doing later?"
Reno: "I have a previous engagment."
Elena: "Oh really? Who's the lucky lady?"
*knocks on the door*
Elena: "I'll get it!" *Answers door.* "Rude? What are you doing here? Who's the rose for?"
Rude: "....."
Reno: "Hey! You ready?"
Rude: "Yeah."
*Reno and Rude leave*
Elena: ".....what the ...."

HAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
Elena: (hears loud squeakys upstairs) GUYS! whats going on?!

Hehe! I know!

Tifa: "Cloud?" *He looks up* "What are you sitting out here for?"
Cloud: "I'm waiting for someone..."
Tifa: "Oh? Who?"
*Elena pulls up in a car*
Elena: "Cloud, Reno says it's over. He's found someone else." *She drives off. Tifa stares at Cloud in shock.*
Cloud: "Well, looks like my night is free. So, what are you doing tonight?"

MAAAAHAHAAAA!!

I was going to go somewere with Reno but....Hm. I wonder who the lucky girl is.

(meanwhile)......

Hehe!

Reno: "Thanks for taking me out Rude."
Rude: "It was my pleasure, in more ways than one."
Reno: "You're so hott."
Rude: "...Thanks."
Reno: "But you're not hotter than me."

Shinra Turk and One Fantasy: (scream out window) ITS TRUE! Hey come up here!

Rude: Blow off, Preps!
ST and OF: Bring him up and we will!

OMG!! LMAO!! Hoo-boy!

Reno: Hey Rude, lets go up?
Rude: You're not serious?
Reno: I'm dead serious.
ST and OF: Woo-hoo! Two for one!

OMG you have NO idea how hard Im laughing.
Im dead serious, thats great.

ST and OF: (look at rude) NO NOT HIM!

Aw poor Rude...LOL!

Rude: "How...rude!"
Reno: "What can I say, the ladies love me."
Rude: *under his breath* "So did I 'til 5 minutes ago..."

chocobo: God my back is killing me...

moogle: tell me about it, you have to deal with big but jockeys and i have to eat kupo nuts and bounce around!

chocobo: wanna grab a beer?

Lol!!!!
Rude: Why am I bald? WHY?!?!?
Reno: Oh yes, look at the hair... oh...
Rude: *Stares in disbelief* GIVE ME YOUR HAIR!!!!!!!!!
*Sephiroth steps in*
Sephiroth: Shut up, you can't beat MY hair... *strokes it lovingly*
*Reno and Rude stare at each other. They nod*
R+R: TAKE HIS HAIR!!!!!!!!!!! *rips Sephiroth's hair off*
Sephiroth: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That sucks, I know.

Vincent:.....*farts*......oh yeahhh!

(u cant take his hair.... beatches....)
tifa.... does this skirt make my butt look big?
cloud.... i think this sword is saying something...

Aeris nodds* "ok i'll see what i can do."
Aeris tries to contact ancients*
*dailup connection sound*

Or

Aeris nodds* Ok i'll see what i can do."
Aeris tries to contact ancients*
"DooWEE Doo~ sorry the number you recently dialed is not in service or is the worng number, please hang up and try again.

^LOL! That was good!

*During Reno's fight scene in Advent Children*
Reno: "H-Hey! You broke my goggles!!" *cries*

This is really long

*Cloud walks in to Tifa's house*

Cloud:Hey
Tifa: Hey...
Cloud: Hey.....ok, so how are you doing?
Tifa: I'm drunk....hey.
Cloud: How much beer did you have now?
Tifa: 35 shots, 22 glasses, and 14 cans
Cloud:Idiot
Tifa:What did you call me *puts on Tiger Fang gloves*
Cloud:Ermm....idiot.
Tifa:Grrrrr...I'm dumping you!
Cloud: You're an angry idiot!
Tifa: GRRRRR.....*Throws Knights of the Round materia at Cloud, hits him on head*
Cloud: Owww, you idiot...whoops.*Knights of the Round knocks Cloud out the door.*
Tifa:And stay out....IDIOT!


Yuffie runs over and scares Cloud.

Yuffie:Heya, what's up, whatca got there huh huh huh?
Cloud: OOOOOKKKKKK??
Yuffie:*takes KOTR materia* ooohhhh, rock. *accidentally suumons it*
Cloud:You idiot!!!!...wow, reminds me of Tifa..
Both Cloud and Yuffie practically commit suicide, but Cloud lives.

*Aeris pops out of nowhere*
Aeris: Hello
Cloud:Hi,wait, who are you.
Aeris:It's me, Aeris
Cloud: You're dead.
Aeris:I know
Cloud:K?
Aeris:Want a flower...a ghost flower.
Cloud:No, not really.
Aeris:WHAT!!!!*takes out non-ghost staff, beats Cloud to death*.
Aeris: Ahhhhh, all taken care of.

Almost a comedy fanfic.

You're all so funny! Well, here is my stupid little thing. It's basically about Aerith mentioning things she would never mention. Feel free to skip!


Cloud: Aerith, we are so close to the Temple of the Ancients..why are you acting so tense?

Aerith: Shove it, purple! My dealer bet my stash and lost it all at the chocobo races! How the hell am I supposed to get by on this?

*pulls "holy" off her hair*

Cloud: What is that?

Aerith: What does is look like, sparky? You think this was materia? I swear, if I don't get my fix i'm going to shove this magic rod here up all of your asses! one by one! SLOWLY!!!

*Tifa runs up after hearing the argument*

Tifa: Look, Aerith I know what you're going through...

Aerith: Yeah right! Here, ya floozy..

*throws gil at tifa*

Aerith: the next boob job's on me! And lay off my man, the only thing your gonna get outta purple here is sloppy seconds, sister!

Tifa: Ha! I beat you to it. Last night. Me. Cloud. The Tiny Bronco.

Cid: What? uuughnnn....

Aerith: Pshh...yesterday morning. Same place!

Cid: Ewwwww! I am so disinfecting the whole thing.

Aerith: Oh, one more thing..I took a little test today...Cloud is MY baby daddy! Or..

Cloud: Or?

Tifa: You total slut.

Aerith: Well, there was Barret 2 hours ago, in the Tiny Bronco..

Cid: (in the distance) Good merciful god in heaven...

Aerith: And Rufus three weeks ago, Cait Sith..

Tifa: Woah! Is that even possible?

Aerith: Rude, Reno and Elena, together...half of Sector 5 slums and...ummm...OH Corneo and Dio...also together.

Tifa: you're a complete dirty whore.

Aerith: Yeah well, I still haven't told you guys about Red....

^GAH! Aeris slept with nearly the entire party! GAH!

Anywho...

*Barret is sitting downstairs in 7th Heaven waiting for Cloud. He starts singing "I Feel Like A Woman" by Shania Twain. Cloud walks in.
Cloud: And you make fun of me for wearing a dress? I say this is far worse.

Okay, not as funny as some of my others, but I tried.

^ lmao! I don't know about you, but I imagine him wearing that cheetah print dress from the video :-P

and about mine, that was the point! She would never say or do those things, but I guess my mind is a little bit warped, lol

Barret: I really need to polish my gun-arm...

Cloud: What about my sadness and my pain?
Sephiroth: What pain? You are nothing but a lifeless doll.
Cloud: A doll?
Aeris: *revived* I knew it! I knew it! I knew that it felt wierd!
Tifa: *snorts* Didn't you know? Cloud had to have a implant.
Barret: *blinks* What? Is something wrong with implants?

Cid: Really! Implants are nice!

Cid: Highwind for sale!
Reno: really? I'll give you 30gil..

Cid ponders for a couple seconds: Throw in those shoes and you got a deal.

(Barret and Cloud on date)
Barret: Hey Cloud
Cloud:NO!
Barret:PLEASE CLOUD!!!
Cloud: NO! You can't go on top!
Barret: Fine! No more sex for you.

o.O that's a scary thought
::shudders:: cloud and barret ><

(Barret and Cloud on date)
Barret: Hey Cloud
Cloud:NO!
Barret:PLEASE CLOUD!!!
Cloud: NO! You can't go on top!
Barret: Fine! No more sex for you.
*falls off the chair laughing* OMG thats funny but also very scary.

cloud: "i know my past like the back of my hand"

aeris: "iam going to accualy help this battle"

Squall: "Oh f#%$ I forgot to reload....Ummm ultimesia....Give me 2 minutes..."

Sephiroth is dressed in pink skipping through a field of flowers.

"La la la..."

Cloud shows up, confused.

"oh don't worry, Cloud. I have discovered the true way of peace and harmony. Join me!!!! And become one with the Unicorn!!"

hahahah. GOod one.

Cloud: Do you think my legs are to big?

Sephiroth: (to Jenova) Look, mother, these shoes light up. (stomps ground and his shoes blink pink lights) I am now a member of society. Maybe now they will all accept me.

Barret: hey cloud u wanna have a homosexual orgy
cloud: YES YES YES i was wondering when ud ask me that question


Aeris:.....guys u better not be fucking back there or im gonna come back and beat u to bloody pulps with my cock

Cloud and barret: :confused: :shock:

Aeris: HERE I COME BOYS!

Tifa: So your series, you would have never
Cloud: of course not, I mean after all, your here she's not, so
Tifa: well I mean if she was still alive, would?
Cloud: course not, now that she's gone, definitely......not
Tifa: Yeah, it was probably best to have let her sink to the bottom of the lake, that way no one could disturb her or touch her. Imagine if someone would have been willing to perform intimate things with her, while she was dead. I would wonder wut kinda person would think that.
Cloud:*eyes shifting* (shut up Tifa)
Tifa: What do you think Cloud?
Cloud:.....................uh..................... .yea *sweat poors down his face*

*serious* sorry, been talkin bout the series a lot, got words mixed

Coversation between Jenova & Sephiroth befroe Cloud arrives at North Cave

Sephiroth: Now should I wear cotton instead of leather?
Jenova: No, I think the leather is a much slimmer look.
Sephiroth: True, but I wanna.......ya know.......be comfortable in some places. I mean I got this kinda rugburn from the leather and all the movement. It's just not a comfortable situation for me. I men I have to look good when I destroy people and gain absolute power.
Jenova: eh, go with the cotton.

before*, mean*

Cid: Stop all that swearin and cussin an carryin on.

Aeris: I think Sephiroth is right *aims loaded Uzi at cloud and others*

Sephiroth: I love you Cloud!!!!

Sephiroth:Look at my big sword!!!Yay *kisses sword*

A leaf flies by.

Sephiroth, "Aaah, stay away from my baby, you infidel", *slices leaf up*

Sephiroth sees Cloud

Sephiroth, "I would hurt you, but my sword would get dirty..oh well, the hell with it, your ass is grass"

Cloud: "Ugh, time to get the lawnmower again"

Sephiroth: "I'll destory the world after I finish drinking my tea and scones" *he says with his little pinky in the air*

During the scene in Don Corneo's place...

Cloud's standing in front of a mirror thinking,

"Well...I do feel kinda pretty...all silky and stuff...heh..heh...silky...."

*cloud looks into the mirror after putting on his new dress*
Cloud: I feel pretty, oh so pretty. I feel pretty & witty and gaaaaaaaay! And I pitty any girl who isn't me today!

Red XIII: someone broke the toilet

Marlene To Barret
Marlene: Dude, your totally freakin guy *slaps him on the ass & runs away*

Then again when you think bout it, how do we know that wut we put on here would never be said by the characters. Especially Marlene.

Then again when you think bout it, how do we know that wut we put on here would never be said by the characters. Especially Marlene.

True.

But here's something Sephy would never say:

Sephiroth: "Oops! Sorry, Cloud! I almost hit you with my mean old sword! BAD SWORD! BAD SWORD!" *Throws sword in a pit of boiling hot lava*

be funny if there was a lord of the ring thing there Black Destiny. Like Seph tries to through it in, but looks at it.
Sephiroth: Mine, my own, my precious
Clouds like: throw it in Mr. Sephiroth, destroy it!
Sephiroth looks at it:The Sword is mine
Then goes invisible, but then Hojo comes & jumps on him. They go over the side & Cloud tries to help him but sees the sword.
Sephiroths like: Give me your hand!
Cloud: First give me the sword
Sephiroth just looks at him: How about no.
He throws it at Hojo, Hojo is impaled and falls into the lava. After Cloud sees this he helps Sephiroth, but at the last second Cloud thinks.
Cloud: What the fuck did you do that for
He pushes Sephiroth into lava.

Tifa: Are these too big?
Yuffie: No but mine are...I'm gonna go throw up now *runs toward bathroom*
Sephiroth:My destiny...TO SHOOT SOME CRAPS!!!!!! Let's play for the planet!!!

Final battle scene:
Clouds amnesia come back and he can't remember why hes there and whos sephroth:
Cloud: who are you?
Sephroth: i'm the guy who killed the girl you loved
Cloud: oh yea, then i'm going to kill you now
Sephroth gets scared: Oh mommy, help me!!
Jenova shows up: stupid! kill them you fu%$#*@ bastard!!!!!!!
Sephroth: ok mom. Sephroth kills everybody then Jenova says: ok dear..now it's time to reveal my true identity, then everything will be like when you were a child!
Sephroth: NOOOOOOOOOOO!
Jenova becomes Michael Jackson!!
Michael: C'mon Seph let's play!!

sux i know

Sephiroth: I LOVE THE WORLD. *HUGS AND KISSES EVERYONE* Oh my what I pretty baby may I please hold it. *Plays with baby all day*.

Cloud: hi tifa, go's over to tifa and kills tifa,

Cloud: Seperoth I love you man!

* Aeris walks in on Cloud and Tifa Playing poker*

Aeris: ooh, strip poker, let me join!!!!

Barret to Sephiroth
Barret: Sephiroth you know I love you, so come over here and let me tap that ass.

Variants of that same gag have been done since page 1. It wasn't funny then and it certainly isn't now. :(

at aeris dead scene:
tifa: oh yeah!!!

or

at aeris dead scene:
tifa: awww man...nooo!!
everyone looks at her surprised:
tifa: whats it? i just don't like that #@$% music!

Heres something i thought would be funny

Aeris' Death Scene

Sephiroth comes down with his sword adn misses and falls in the water

Aeris: "....OH MY are you ok?"

Sephiroth" "yes im ok i slipped and fell to early and missed you completly."

Aeris: "Ok go up and try again"

Sephiroth trys 5 more times each time he either forgets his sword or lands on his head and on the final time he falls flat on his face.

Aeris: "You F&*%ing idiot how hard is it to take a sword and jump and impale me through the stomach"

Sephiroth: *crying and sobbing* "Im sorry i just cant aim WAAAHHH!!'

Aeris: "You stupid worthless A*&%$#@ look you do it like this *picks up sword and stabs herself* see now is that too hard *turns around and cuts cloud in half who is behind her then looks down and says in cartman voice "son of a Bitch!"

Yea Prak fyi I never cared to look at the first page only the name of the thread.

TrekkiesUnite118 - Scene bloopers are hilarious

Hojo: All these years and nobody realises I'm a dunce at science

Aeris: Buggerit! Why do I have to die?! *Grabs Yuffie* Kill her instead, shes the bl**dy thief!

Ok heres another but its short

Aeris' Death scene

Sephiroth comes down and right before he hits Aeris she sticks a fist up in the air and hits him in the nuts.

Sephiroth: *in high pitched voice* "MOMMY!?!?"

Aeris: "I can't believe I'm supposed to be killed by this idiot!"

Cloud: Wow...that Hermoine is hot!
Tifa: No, Ron is the best!
Sephiroth: You're both crazy. Everyone knows that Professor McGonagall is teh sex.
Everyone: ...*kills themselves*

Aerith: Mmm.....me so horny. Woah, did I just say that out loud? Woops.

This thread is still good.

During a speech about how to defeat sehpiroth

Tifa: "We have to get Sephiroth like how he got us, we need to stab him right threw the heart!" *picks up a knife in demonstration and stabs herslf in the right breast*

*POP!!*

*Hissing of Air*

*Everyone stares*

Tifa: "Oh my!" *as right breast decreases in size*

Heres another

this is going of of the one guys thing of cloud calling red 13 kitty

Cloud is on a train and red 13 flies trew the window on the floor infront of him.

Cloud: "PUSSY-POO!!!"

Red XIII: "Oh no, HELP!!"

*Cloud puts pink bonnet on Red 13 and begins to hug him to death and is squeezing the life out of him*

Cloud: "Mommy's going to love you and hug forever and ever hee hee hee"

During a speech about how to defeat sehpiroth

Tifa: "We have to get Sephiroth like how he got us, we need to stab him right threw the heart!" *picks up a knife in demonstration and stabs herslf in the right breast*

*POP!!*

*Hissing of Air*

*Everyone stares*

Tifa: "Oh my!" *as right breast decreases in size*

Heres another

this is going of of the one guys thing of cloud calling red 13 kitty

Cloud is on a train and red 13 flies trew the window on the floor infront of him.

Cloud: "PUSSY-POO!!!"

Red XIII: "Oh no, HELP!!"

*Cloud puts pink bonnet on Red 13 and begins to hug him to death and is squeezing the life out of him*

Cloud: "Mommy's going to love you and hug forever and ever hee hee hee"
Heh. Reminds me of someone i know. I can see Bush doing that.

i got the ideas for those from two movies the cloud thing is from fival goes west for some reason it popped into my head and the tifas boob pop is from history of the world part 1.

At Shinra HQ:

Barret: What an awesome building!
Tifa: Yea
Barret: I'd like to work here some day.

Heres one i just thought of

Cloud hand Aeris her staff after losing it

Aeris: "I don't need the piece 'o' shit bitch, I went and got new weapons" *pulls out two nickel plated hand guns with purple grips* "man all my stuff now is custom"

I got that from resident evil apocalpse

heres another

In the crator and sephiroth is holding them in the air before the battle

Cloud: "I can't move my arms!"

Barret: "I can't move my legs!"

Vincent: "I can't control my bowel movements!"

Tifa: "HOLY F#@!ING SHIT!" *as vincent craps on her face*

Ah, that was pretty funny, Trekkie.

Chocobo Farmer: I'm a gay Chocobo breeder!
Cloud: I don't care which way you swing, I just need a chocobo.
Chocobo Farmer: No no no. I breed gay chocobos!
Cloud:......ewwwww.

Sephiroth: What in buttery goodness?

Barret: Sometimes there are days when I just don't feel so..."fresh".

Aerith: *working at a florist's cart* This job sucks! Screw this! I'm gonna burn this mutha down!!

Vincent: All I really want is some one with a certain...special...song... *background orchestra starts up*
Hojo: No! No singing! Not again! I'll stick you out in the sunlight!

FF7 chars at a dance party.

Aeris: We should hold a singing contest.
Yuffie:Yeah!!

Aeris: K, I'll start. Yeah, we're goin to da crater, yo, to kick Sephy's butt
Cloud: Die, die, die, Se-phi-roth
Barret:A gun..is a gun...no matter where it is
Sephiroth:Everybody BURN IN HELL!!!!! *growls*
Tifa:You are beautiful, no matter if you're dead
Red XIII:There was a scientist, had a project and Nanaki was his name-o.
Yuffie:I like gay people, wooooo! *takes off her shirt*
Cloud:...oh my god.......oh my god....oh my god....oh my god

Barret: Hmmm, I do love my melons.
Cait Sith: I'm a freakish stuffed toy!!
Cloud: I think I need to go to rehabilitation.
Sephiroth: I need to go to rehab too.
Cloud: Why?
Sephiroth: You stupid fuck!!!!!!! (stabs Cloud 3,000,000,000 times)
Seph: I need anger management!!! GRRRRRRR!!!!!!!
Aeris: *smiles weirdly* I'M A CLONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seph: SHUT UP BITCH!!!!!! *STABS HER!!!!!!!!!*
Barret: Screw AVALANCHE, I'm off to retire in Wutai!
Wedge: You heartless bastard!!
Barret: Fuck you!!!! *SHOOTS WEDGE IN THE FACE 3 TIMES!!!!!!!!!*
Vincent: Lalalalalalaaala, I'm collecting flowers, heee heee heee...
Nanaki: *stares* Why is my grandad HUMAN!?!?!?!
Cloud: hahahahah!!!! I return!!! Die Goth!!!
Vincent: (in a unrealistically high voice) No, I've changed!!!!!
Cloud: STAB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Heres one i just thought of

Red XIII comes up to the bridge b/c his litter box is dirty

Red XIII: *In a whining voice* "Clean My Poopie!"

Elmyra: Kid's! why do I always agree to foster them?!

Barret: Let's all just put the guns down, i mean, they kill people, and are stupid, and stuff!!!!!
Red XIII(as he chases a freakish mutant rabbit): Come back Mr. Snuggle Bunny i just wanna play!!!!!
Cloud(to Red XIII, while wearing a black wig and fake nose) : If you catch him we'll all march to Neverland together!!!!!

Sephiroth: Stabbing people has gotten boring. I need a new way to incite pain and suffering...I think I'll get into politics! *puts on Dick Cheney mask*

Sephiroth:Aeris, oh Aeris, so juicy sweet! I...
Aeris:I'm right behind you, I can hear you!
Gollum:Stop copying me*runs over and bites Sephiroth*

Cid: Umm well let pull this lever that says selfdestruct *pulls the lever the Highwind explodes*
Cloud: damnit aries died owell Come tifa daddy need some lovein'
Cid: you I really care about all of your feeling and need to respect you as friend.
Vincent:booze, wemon, and money,and this big consino I've found my heaven.

Barret wearing a sailor suit.

''I look like a bear wearing a marshmallow''

ok but he did say that.

aeris to tifa: hey, wanna f*** lol you know since aeris is dead and all.

I didn't get that uK. You sicko. Lol.

Sephiroth is sitting and is bored, he looks down at his sword.
Sephiroth: I wonder what this feels like * stabs himself * OW, that really hurt, man is that what I've been doing to people. wow, I belong dead.

inspiration: Family Guy

ok but he did say that.

Cloud did
.................................................. .................................................. ....

Someone make a good 1 pls im bored and i kind of wanna laugh.

*Laughs at himself*
.................................................. .................................................. ....

Wedge falls down the stairs.

Jessie : Cool do it again.
Wedge: I only fell because I saw Barret wearing my granny's night dress. It was a horrible sight.

Jessie sees Barret wearing her night dress.

Jessie:OMG that's MY night dress fool!
Barret: LALALALA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wedge falls down the stairs again.

Wedge: oweeeeee

Hahahahahaha

LOL! This is just too funny!

I'll think of another one

Cid:Hmmmmm well I think is the oil.
Vincent: I think it the spark plug.
Cloud:hmmmm.
Tifa Cloud get the hell out of my car you blow up the last two.
Cloud: Come on I wasn't near it when it exploded!

well u wouldnt see the ff7 characters saying: " BAH!!!!!!!!!!!! " or " Surprise Cockbag!!!!!!!!!!! " hah

True true....

Well whats the surprise?
You said whoever makes you laugh most gets a "surprise".
Lies imo.

Cid: I hate beautiful women!

Hahahahahaha

cid: please pass the butter

Cid:umm you know I just started my job as a chip and dale.
Tifa:so thats where I saw you.
Cloud:What?
Cid:Those fiftys come in handy.

lol

Aeris: Cloud I hate you and your #$!$#!@ stupid spiky hair!

haha

lol, bravo!

kool

(I read every single post on this thread and they all are so @#$!@#$ Hilarious!!)
Here's some lame one for you to read...
-------

Tifa: so Aeris... I umm... *Scratches head* want to ask if you..umm.. want to have a threesome with me and Cloud tonight.
Aeris: *Checks her calendar* Uh sorry Tifa. I'm booked for Sephiroth and Hojo tonight.

------

Cloud: aAacchhooooooOo!!
Tifa:*pulls out tissues from her boobs* here you go Cloud.

-----------

Aeris: Weeds for 5 gils each! Buy 1 get 5 free!
Yuffie: Here you can have all my materias *grab all the Weeds and ran off*

*As Cloud is wiping his shoe on the grass*
"Thats the last time you're scouting ahead Red13"

Barret: "If I hear ONE MORE 'a girl, a dog and a man with a gun on his arm walk into a bar' joke Cloud, I'm gonna SCREAM!"

(probably crap and/or already been done heh)

Cloud: "This thread should be dead by now!"

I like this thread.

yha it fscking funny

This thread has lots of funny stuff, it shouldn't die.

Cloud and Aeris are playing Badmitton

Aeris: "just so you know Cloud I've never played this before"

Cloud: "Don't worry it's pretty easy"

Aeris: *picks up racket and throws a mitton on the ground and begins beating it* "BAD MITTON BAD MITTON!!!!!!!!!"

Vincent singing to Aeris

Vincent: " I know you I walked with you once upon a dream! I know you the gleam in your eyes is so familiar a gleam!"

Aeris: "A dream is a wish your heart makes! when your fast asleep!!"

hahaha

Vincent signing to Aeris

Vincent: " I know you I walked with you once upon a dream! I know you the gleam in your eyes is so familiar a gleam!"

Aeris: "A dream is a wish your heart makes! when your fast asleep!!"

Now that is something they'd NEVER say! :laugh:

yup

But can you imagine vincent singing that?

yha I can.

Ok, here's a wild one!

Cloud: *roles over in bed* "I feel like I'm missing something."
Reno: *turns and looks at him* "What do you mean?"
Cloud: "I dunno. i just feel like I lost something."
Reno: "Whatever..." *gets out of bed and lands on something* "OW! What the hell is this?" *shows Cloud the object*
Cloud: *screaming* "Hey! That's my virginity! Give it back!"

So Trekkie whats with the "Sleeping Beauty" lyrics all of a sudden.

Cid:Blue balls...Blue balls it's dallor night at the..Titty club.
(everyone to Vincent):Get a job you bum a bum move out of our house you bum a bum a bum.

I dont know it just popped into my head and i thought it would be funny to hear vincent sing it.

Heres one for Yuffie after Tifa throws a party

Yuffie: "Oh My good golly gosh, The house is a mess!! Everyone leave I have to clean and here money for everyone!" *gets into a snow white outfit* "Now I must clean COME MY ANIMAL FRIENDS!!"

yuffie: here take this mastered KOTR materia, i dont want it
aeris: who is up for a game of strip poker?
red XIII: screw cosmo canyon i am going to go live at costa del sol
cid: i'm going to church, feel free to have one of my smokes
vincent: be back later, i have to go buy myself some more pink thongs
cloud: hey, want to see a picture of my penis?
barrett: hey, want to see a picture of cloud's penis?

i know a lot of these are really messed up, but dont hold it against me if i insulted you favourite character, cuz it's all just in good fun

Heres one:

Aeris is working in her garden:

Aeris: "AHHH the accursed weed has killed thy flowers!! Feel thy known wrath WEEDS!!!" *zaps weeds with lightning*

Vincent: "Hey! what have I told you about gardening!"

Aeris: *in an ashamed voice* "Pretty flowers are made with love not magic."

Ok heres another

There is a beauty pagent and the winner gets to rule the earth for the day

"And the winner is Aeris!"

Cloud: "Oh thank god it was her and not Sephiroth whats the worst she could do in a day"

*Shows Aeris sitting on a throne with Midgar burning in the backround and all of Shinra and the Sephiroth clones pulling a huge bloulder in agony and sephiroth walking towards a statue.*

Aeris: *laughing menically and in a demonic voice* "AH HA HA HA, AH HA HA HA, KEEP WORKING SHINRA KEEP WORKING! AND SEPHIROTH DON'T FORGET TO POLISH MY STATUE!!!!!"

Cloud: "WOW, an Iron Fisted Dictatorship, thats the opposite of what I expected!"

Heres another I just thought of

Aeris gets stabbed by Sephiroth and falls over, then immediatly after hitting the floor bolts up.

Aeris: *singing* " I will, I will survive!"

*rest of the party including Sephiroth runs up and starts to disco dance with Aeris*

This is really corny, but I gotta put it out there.

RedXIII: Why don I constantly feel like my tail is on fire? *looks behind him at his tail* Oh, that's because..IT IS!! AHHHH!!!

LMAO! LOL

to whos?

Both of the ones above me, In truth, their both F'n hillarious....

Heres another:

The team is at the crater before its opened.

Tifa: "how are we gonna get in?"

Barret: "I have no idea"

Cloud: "I didn't think about this"

Vincent: "Wait, let me at it I know who to open it!" *vincent walks up to the forcefield and raises his hands and starts moving them* "OPEN SESAME!, Abra Kadabra, Vini Veni Vichi, Coma coma coma cameleon, a wop woba loobop a wop bop doo." *nothing happens* "well thats alll I got."

Actually, I think yours are pretty good, Trekkiesunite118....and I hope you don't mind me asking....but do you like star trek to? Personally, I like your little picture thingy...Star trek is cool in my opion..along with FF, starwars, Dune, and Lord of the Rings..

I love star trek and incase u missed the new one scroll up.

hahaha, good one Trekkiesunite118

So how do you manage to think so many funny quotes up? I managed only to put together one...and it was only one sentence...

i get ideas from tv shows or they just pop into my head from no where.

I get mine from a little evil man who hides behing my ear...sometimes he whispers to me..but I don't listen...he's speaking something foreign, Cleon perhaps....

Heres another

Cloud is in the chapel and see's Aeris' ghost.

Cloud: "Aeris? Is it really you?"

Aeris: "Oh hi Cloud! Look at me. *turns demonic and zombie like* "I'M TERRIFYING!!!!!!"

Cloud: * in high-pitched school girl voice* "AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" *runs off screaming*

lol!HAHA

And heres one i got from Fairly Oddparents

* Cid is souping up Aeris' lawn mower to make it a super lawn mower*

Aeris: "WHAT THE F*%$ ARE YOU DOING TO MY LAWN MOWER!!!!"

Cid: "I'm making it into a super lawn mower."

Aeris: "What have we told you about making super things, remember super garden hose?"
*Flashback*
Aeris is watering her flowers

Aeris: "oh the poor dears they're thirsty" *turns on hose which blasts her off the screen with water* * zooms out and shows midgar flooding and the people swimming for their lives and gasping for air*
*end of flash back*

Tifa: *comforting cloud* "and don't make Cloud relive the horror of super toilet!"

Cloud: *Spazing out* " It took the plunger, THE WHOLE PLUNGER!!!" *goes into fetal position and sucks thumb*

You know, it would be kinda cool if some one took these jokes and made a little book out of them...Why not?

yeah it would and if u missed it agian scroll up and look at the new one.

lol, Thats good!

Isn't it?

Don't mind me, I'm a bit slow. Ya know, this has to be one of the funniest places on this forum...Oh yeah, do you like Chocobo's?

Your jokes are great...I can tell you one thing, I have no humor when I tell jokes. People just look at me funny or walk away....even though I thought it was funny...

In truth, I can take someone's joke that everyone laughed at and use it, and still get the same reply, silence......Echoe (Echoe, Echoe, Echoe)

well it's probably b/c by the time u say it its old and everyones heard it.

Probally...Oh well, It's not my thing I guess...Im sure theres other things out there....like Chocobo knights...In the Chocobo knights, I am a scout...and I have my own chocobo...My chocobo is named Hobo, he's brown, and he drinks tea...

of course its just what we made up...but it's cool...

Um..ok.....

I'm not sure if I'm on the dark side or good side..

Heres one that might be a little sick

Aeris peeks at Cloud when he's changing into the dress at Wal Market.

Aeris: "OH MY GOD CLOUD!! THERE"S A DILDO IN YOUR ASS!!!"

Cloud: "Um...uh...How did that get up there?"

sorry..I get carried away sometimes......if you want to see the thread, it's under Chocobo's, and it was started by Cloud Zanza

Hahahaha!!

Well, catch you later, Trekkiesunited, I'm gonna go see some of the other threads...nice reading your jokes...their great!

After Aeris Dies

Tifa: "well now that Aeris is dead Cloud, I guess there's nothing left to keep you away from me."

Cloud: "But Tifa I still have feelings for Aeris."

Tifa: "I thought you might say that, good thing a made this realistic looking Aeris puppet." *puts on puppet* "Hello Cloud I'm Aeris, please love me the way you always did but instead love me through Tifa." *Tifa puckers up for a kiss*

Cloud: "No amount of theropy will ever make this right."

Here's another

Sephiroth is standing about to kill Aeris when they hear happy kiddy music.

Sephiroth: "ICE CREAM? I love Ice Cream!" *Runs off screaming holding upa dollar* "Wait, WAIT Mr. Ice Cream Man I want to buy your frozen sugary goodness!!"

Aeris: "What the crap!"

lol, lmao

Cid: well she's dead Cloud you can't keep her anymore.
*Cloud sobbingly* I know she was a good motorcycle.

=) lol,, well put Cid Highwind, well put!! LMAO! =)

Cloud: You know that those things are big.
Cid:Yeah thats those big things
Tifa: hey!!
Cid&Cloud:what?!
Tifa:I know that my breast are big!!
Cid: no thats not what we where looking at.
Cloud:yeah *pointing at two Hamburgers*
Cid: I looks good.
*Tifa faints*

Heres one

Aeris: "Hey Tifa, without bending over tell me what color shoes you are wearing."

Tifa: "Uh...Umm..'maybe i can peek throught the crack'..uuhh...red?"

*everybody points and laughs hysterically*

Tifa: "THATS IT I HAVE HAD ENOUGH I AM GETTING A BREAST REDUCTION!!"

All the Guys: "NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

President Shinra: Awwwwww... Those poor little orphans! I'm going to donate 1 billion gil to them!

Cid: Oh darn !

Yuffie: (insert something worth reading here)

Party is stranded in the middle of the ocean

Tifa: "In the water my breasts double as an emergency floatation device"

Red XIII: "Quick everyone, grab on to the breasts of life!!!"

Heres another

Cloud and Barret are having an argument on who is a better leader.

Cloud: "At least the group has faith in me"

Barret: "Oh we'll see how much faith they have when they see these pictures of you..FROM THE 1970's!!!" *shows a picture of cloud in an afro and bellbottoms*

Cloud: "HEY THOSE CLOTHES WERE IN STYLE BACK THEN!!!!"

LOL, GEESE, you guys, your jokes are great! LOL

I will never know how you come up with so many Trekkie, but I'm trying to find out....you wait...I'll figure it out...........someday....

Jenova (who doesnt ever physically speak) : How u doin Cloud?! Is the world good to ya? U wanna come 2 our side?

Cloud: ?! Hell no!!

Jenova: Original Puppet...Attack!!!!

Sephiroth(lunging at cloud): You're done now...little sister!!!

Everyone: WHAT?!

thats it 4 my wacky installment

What about when barrets in his sailor suit?
Barret: "Cloud do these pants make my butt look big?"

time 4 Spastic-one-linerz

Vincent: It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood...

take this 1 any way u want

Barret(to Marlene): You know daddy loves it wen you use that pose

Cait Sith: Soon I'll be a real boy!!!

Heres one

Vincent comes outside on a sunny day.

Vincent: "Ah the light I love the light!"

*Suddenly out of nowhere a truck delivering paper to an office crashes and he gets buried in the paper*

Vincent: "AAAHH The darkness I HATE THE DARKNESS!!! OW! a paper cut!!!"

Heres one

Vincent comes outside on a sunny day.

Vincent: "Ah the light I love the light!"

*Suddenly out of nowhere a truck delivering paper to an office crashes and he gets buried in the paper*

Vincent: "AAAHH The darkness I HATE THE DARKNESS!!! OW! a paper cut!!!"
This is getting really old. Stop please.

Sephiroth - hmm, I think I'll order takeout tonight!

Yuffie - Wow, I should save my money for christmas pressies...

Cloud - hmmm, tifa, you look good in that dress.

Cid - British Airways ROCKS! God bless England!

Nanaki (Red Viii) - Woof. Ahem.

Cait Sith - Wow, a swimming pool! DIVE!

Barrett - Wow, I must hurry to get to Ballet lessons!

Tifa - hey bi*ch! You scratched my f**king car! AAAAAH!

Aerit - oops, I farted!

* Typo, I meant Aerith

Cid: It was a night like no other that girl was the best.
(Cid's hand):Was it good for you too.
Tifa: yeah it was good.
Cloud: that hand can do the craziest of things.

??? Random! Ah well, I can't talk... jelly doughnut car tyre liberty bell and sausages!

A cloud classic "What?"

Vincent: Hey Guys, I got a job at the Mall. They hire me to greet the shoppers.

Yuffie joining your party

Yuffie: I'll here to help you...and steal your matiera
Cloud: "what"
Yuffie: And defeat Spheiorth...and steal your matiera
Cloud:what
Yuffie: And watch you when you sleep...and steal your matiera
Cloud: what
Yuffie: and Steal your matiera.. Opps
Cloud: Hey!!

Vincent and Sephiroth skipping thorugh a flowery field hold hands in the morning

Vincent and Sephiroth: *singing* "Oh what a beautiful morning!"

Heres another

Final Battle Between Cloud and Sephiroth

Cloud and Sephiroth reach for their swords but instead pull out game boys and link them

Cloud: "Pikachu I choose You!"

Sephiroth: "I choose Jigglypuff!"

Cloud: "Pikachu Thundershock!"

Sephiroth: "NO!!! You knocked out my cute widdle Jigglypuff, I have no more Poke`Mon I blacked out!"

Sephiroth Falls over and Cloud wins

*spoilers*
Sephiroth: Cloud, i have some good news for you.
Cloud: You can revive aeris?
sephiroth: no. shes dead for good. but i just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance for switching to geiko.

LOL

Sephiroth: Hey cloud do you think when i killed Aeris was dramatic enough?
Cloud: What do you mean?
Sephiroth: Well i mean one slice, CMON! She took more damage in battle. Should i have done a bit more
Cloud: Oh definitely i was shocked at the poor effort you did on her.

Lol, that's true Chewey...lol

Vincent: The sun is so lovely isnt it?
Jenova: Yeah i feel...
Cloud:Beautiful? Cuz you are...You Know you are! Come to me My Love!!!
Sephiroth: Mommy...I dont like him.

Cloud: Hey Sephiroth! I read a book in school today. It had some theory in it that said all men want to sleep with thier mothers. Isn't that nuts?!

Sephiroth: ....No.

LATER THAT NIGHT

Sephiroth: Oh....MOMMY!

*spoilers*
Sephiroth: Cloud, i have some good news for you.
Cloud: You can revive aeris?
sephiroth: no. shes dead for good. but i just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance for switching to geiko.
hahaha! This I totally like! LMAO!!

i cant think of a good one but (its crap)

CLOUD:My life is totally sorted out

Vincent: Hey Cloud, what's your favorite day of the week?
Cloud: I like Saturdays, how about you?
Vincent: I like Tuesdays.
Cloud: Why?
Vincent: Because it's Two-for-Tuesday at Dominos! *picks up a slice of mushroom pizza and eats it*

The Party is in the jungle looking for Aeris when they find her in a herd of monkeys.

Cloud "Aeris?"

Aeris: "I'm not Aeris, I am the Monkey King, I command you all to dance, Dance my pretties DANCE!!"

*monkeys start to dance*

Cloud: *sigh* "Yes that's Aeris alright."

Ahem...i think im out of 1linerz

Sephiroth: *working at Burger King* Can't find a better job, I'll st...... Hi, how may I help you

Customer: All I want is a soda

Sephiroth: You have to order a meal

Customer: Give me a f^%&#g drink

Sephiroth: FU!!!! *Stabs customer through head*.......my soda.........

Yuffie(nervously at a Materia Abusers Meeting): Materia...who needs it?
Sephiroth (dying moment in Terminator voice): I'll be back

Cid:I'm outta cigerettes! I'm gonna buy a dime!

...sorry...that was really bad

Aeris: Tifa, get rid of that dam perfume! I hate that flowery smell!!!!!

Yuffie: I'll here to help you...and steal your matiera
Cloud: "what"
Yuffie: And defeat Spheiorth...and steal your matiera
Cloud:what
Yuffie: And watch you when you sleep...and steal your matiera
Cloud: what
Yuffie: and Steal your matiera.. Opps
Cloud: Hey!!

you stole that from "all about random battles" when you get to level four on the mini game you get that clip

http://www.flashplayer.com/animation/randombattles.html

Cloud: "I WANT TO BE PUSSY!!"

Barret: "NO, I WANT TO BE PUSSY!!!"

Cloud: "Isn't it quite obvious I fit the character of pussy perfectly?"

Tifa: "What are you two fighting about?"

Barret & Cloud: *holding GC controllers* "we're playing 007 Nightfire and both of us want to be Pussy Galore, Tifa can you pick between us which is more of a pussy?"

Tifa: "I'm staying out of this one."

Heres another

Cloud and Aeris are having Sephiroth over for dinner

*Aeris is preparing a very nice meal*

Cloud: "you know if I wasn't so mature I'd think this nice dinner was a sign of affection and that you totally dig sephiroth."

Aeris: "ok, Cloud lets use the good toilet seat so the meal is pleasent from begining to end."

Cloud: "THE GOOD TOILET SEAT!!! OH MY GOD YOU TOTALLY DIG SEPHIROTH!!!'

*Sephiroth shows up with a flower in a pot with an electrical device with it*

Sephiroth: "Now I just need to get in and use this Black Materia detector to find the black materia."

Cloud: "Oh no! That long dulling gray hair, that leather trenchcoat, HE'S GORGEOUS!!!!"

Aeris: "My, are those dead beeping flowers for me?"

Sephiroth: "why yes they are."

Aeris: "My how lovely dead AND beeping."

Sephiroth: "excellent now I just need one of these idiots to give me a tour of the house and I'm sure to find the black materia AH HA HA AH HA AH HA AH HA HA!!"

Cloud: "Um hello we're right here, we can hear everything your saying."

Aeris: "And we'd love to be the idiots to give you a tour of the house!"

Cid's trying to buy a new plane with Cloud

Cid: Well this ones got a twin engine.
Cloud: well...It stuipd looking
Cid: Dude you suck
Cloud: no I don't watch *jumps in the plane *
see I can fly
Cid: sure....
Cloud Fuck you *starts the plane& takes off*
Cid: Damnit he gone.
*A nuclear flash *
*Cloud hauling ass to Cid*
Cloud see I said it was a crappy plane
*Cid walks away*
Cloud: what....What!

LOL

Barret: I miss Marlene....Hey! I just made a sentence with no cursing! YAY!!

Cid: damn this is a flower not smoke Damn you cloud

Reno: Maybe I should button my shirt up like everyone else and dye my hair pink.
Rude: ....

*Cid's speaking to an old Brittish Man*

Man: I do say get rid of this fag! *slaps cigarette from Cid's mouth*

Cid: Why I oughta...To da moon ya bastard, to da moon!!!!

Man: I do say ol' chap what are you talking about

Cid:You F^@!#~ called me a &*^%$#! fag!

Cloud (in his ballroom dress): He was talking about that disgusting habit of yourz.

Cid (puzzled): What the &*^% do you mean?!

Cloud: Your tendency to blow in people's faces.

Cid: OK *&#@# this, it's getting too gay for me.

That one I liked.

Vincent: *Sucking his claw thumb* Owww, my lips is bleeding. *Cries*

Cid: I feel I should respect everyone of you as my friends & equals.

lol, unfortantely, I have had an experiance like the one Aint ready posted...LOL

Yeah thats a good one But that would be something I'd do sice I'm Cid come on you know me. :cool:

Sephiroth: OH SHIT, IM LATE FOR MY DATE WITH AERIS!
**Goes to fancy resturant**
**Sephiroth sees Aeris with Cloud**
Sephiroth: That little bitch, im gonna go evil now and kill her with my sword...
OOH BUT THAT CLOUD IS ONE HOT MAMA!

Cloud:Hey if im a clone does that mean ill have markes under my left eye
(refeard to the film "6th day")

Ha ha i finally made a good 1!!!! :) there probly wont be another 4 a wile...my brain's being burnt out in chemis...LIGHTBULB!!!!!

A STUDENT AND HIS TEACHER

Hojo: Goddam science! I hate it!!!

Professor Gast: What seems to be the problem?

Hojo: I cant get this dam girl to grow flowers.

Gast: Just give her a little time.

Hojo: Ive tried for a few weeks...They just wont grow!!!!

Gast: Let me take a look.

Hojo: Okay, young lady, drop your clothes.

Gast (shocked and disgusted): Why are there wilted flowers hanging from her...um...her...HER BOOBS?!

Hojo: I knew it, I failed!

Gast: No, this is horrible, disgusting and... *throws up in girl's face*

Hojo(trying to look sexy): Then how 'bout some extra credit?

Gast:*runs away screaming*

Sephiroth: OH SHIT, IM LATE FOR MY DATE WITH AERIS!
**Goes to fancy resturant**
**Sephiroth sees Aeris with Cloud**
Sephiroth: That little bitch, im gonna go evil now and kill her with my sword...
OOH BUT THAT CLOUD IS ONE HOT MAMA!

HAHAHHA this is HOT!!! LMAO!

(Cant actually believe this thread is still going on)

Red: I want some Cat food...

I bet you would have an experiance like that, Cid Highwind. But the real question is, would you enjoy it? I kinda did, the guy I was talking to was kinda cute...In a way....

Oh, and the cool thing about it is if they told you to go away all ya have to do is say you dont understand wat there sayin...

thats a reel shame i meen why wood you enjoy an experience like that?

I didn't really but I did start to kick his ass but MY friends held me back.

Cloud's Mom: "Why aren't you outside pimping!!!!"

cloud starts a journey to find his lost father who is never mentioned in ff7 (proberly because he was a druggy) he finaly gets lead to a dark cave by clues of some sort
cloud: is anyone here
a dark figure steps into his vision
cloud: who are u.... Sephrioth!
sephrioth: i am ur father luke!
cloud:!?!

another shit one by super nova

Well it was kinda ok, but I felt stupid a little while. I hated making him repeat things....
BUT HIS VOICE WAS SO NICE!

what the hell are u on about ronin

Vincent: *Dressed in Aeris's pink outfit* Cloud, will you be my Valentine? *wink wink*

(hey it's Valentine's day!)