Prepaid Card
No Deposit
Instant Withdrawal
This might seem like a joke – but this is real poetry that I did a while ago that’s posted in different places on the net. I don’t know it will get closed here, but whatever. I leave that up to the mods.
The first in the pain and dismemberment series is entitled "Froggy"
It was just a little one, before I had really gotten into the swing of Pain and Dismemberment. But you have to start somewhere!
Froggy
Oh dear froggy, how I love thee.
I hold thee in my hands, and caress thee.
As I touch thy little hea… OH MY GOD!!
I KILLED IT!! I KILLED MY POOR FROG!!!!!
I JUST WANTED TO LOVE IT, BUT INSTEAD I PRESSED TOO HARD AGAINST ITS SKULL AND CRUSHED IT MERCILESSLY, CAUSING GREY BRAIN MATTER TO SQUIRT ALL OVER MY HANDS, AND BLOOD TO EXPLODE INTO MY FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHY GOD, WHY!????????????????????
The end.
ICE TEA SUNDAYS
by Megaboz
I sit on my chair,
One Sunday afternoon,
and sip upon my Ice Tea,
after stirring it with a spoon.
As the day wears on,
I notice some bladder pain,
but I’ll go to the bathroom later,
cuz I’m lazy and ooh, I like the train.
I think of my froggy, who… OH MY GOD!!!!
I WAITED TO LONG TO GO TO THE BATHROOM AND MY BLADDER EXPLODED!!!!!! HUGE AMOUNTS OF BLOOD AND URINE ARE SPILLING OUT OF MY CROTCH!!!!!!!!!!! JESUS, THE NAUSEATING STENCH OF MY URINE IS ONLY BEARABLE CUZ I’M FOCUSED ON MY EXTREME BLOOD LOSS!!! LORD CHRIST MAKE THE PAIN STOP!!!!!!!!!!!
I still think Ice Tea Sundays is like the pwnistic poem… EVAR. Write more. Puhleaseee? *puppy dog eyes*
I bribe you wif burgers! <3333~
They actually come from incidents in real life. Real life is my inspiration! I mean, up to the point where all my internal organs explode, that (usually) doesnt happen.
I call this one Tommy Dungidoo.
Tommy Dungidoo,
his name often sung,
was a small boy,
made out of dung.
With his head full of crap,
his body with poo,
arms made of shite,
and legs of dog doo.
As he walked along,
whether high or low,
hed leave a streak of brown,
whereever hed go.
His parents were sad
driven insane,
for when theyd hug Tommy
hed leave stank-ass stains.
He STUNK like a ASS
A NASTY ONE TOO
NOT PROPERLY WIPED
RECTUM FILLED WITH POO
WHEN HE WAS SICK
HE TURNED WATERY BROWN
AND SPLASHED FECAL MATTER
ALL OVER THE GROUND
ONE DAY TOMMY STANK SO BAD THAT HIS PARENTS WERE LIKE "WHAT THE FUCK. OUR KID IS MADE OUT OF CRAP AND HE STINKS LIKE AN UNWASHED ASS," SO THEY FLUSHED HIM DOWN THE TOILET AND HE DIED IN A FUCKING SEWER WHERE HIS KIND BELONGS. IF YOU ARE MADE OF SHITE YOU SHOULD FUCKING FLUSH YOURSELF DOWN A GODDAMN TOILET TOO, CUZ YOU ARE A WORTHLESS FUCK THAT DOESNT DESERVE TO LIVE. NOBODY LOVES YOU, GO FUCK YOURSELF.
I fucking love you.
:lol :lol