ok were going to write some fan ficks about the turks well wat else do we talk about:-D

so the first one is about renos mam calling shinra

it was a busy day at the shinra corperation rude was polishing his head for a big date with sabastian reno was in wilkinsons buying new weapons elena was sat by the phone drooling watching tseng bend over to tie his shoe al of a sudden the phone went off elena answered it

Elena:hi shinra corperation the turks shack cause we cant afford an office elena speaking

???:Reno is that you you sound like a woman have you got caught up in your zipper again?

Elena:who the hell are you you damn crazy old bat

???:dont you reconise your own mother wait untill your farther hears you dont know your own mother on the phone

Elena:your not my mother oh wait your renos mother right

at this moment reno comes through the door with loads of wilko bags and listens in on elenas conversation

Elena:LOOK LADY im not reno

renos mother:weres my baby!!!!

Elena:hes not hear would you like me to take a message

renos mother: oh yes wat a lovely boy you are just ask him if hes wearing the underpants with wednesday on the frount oh and make sure he has clean socks on oh and befor i forgett tell him i sewed up the split in his pants good bye

elena trying not to laugh

Elena:dont worrie i'll tell him

reno: WAS THAT MY MOM

Elena: oh yeah

Reno:what she say

elena walks off grinning reno chases her saying

Reno:Wat SHE SAY ELENA TELL ME SHES MY MAM NOT YOURS I NEED TO KNOW

~end~

........ Well, you have the right idea but the story could be longer, and could have Reno's mom say more embaressing things about him...=)

Is this for real?

Is this for real?

'Fraid so. This is what the Shrine's coming to...

If so... Suckage..

Nice username though....

do u not like our storys (sniff sniff just cause our wages rock we have a copter and u dont nyeh nyeh)

hehe we have more stories and when were arsed we will post them hahahahahahahahahahahaha

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh cloud RUN

I must say the attidude of the members here really suck, what is your problem? Just because some one is having some fun writing storys you have to be jurks!!! Get a life!!!

we rock hehe rude

look the start of a story

once there was a pink chocobo who kicked ass the end

Yah, we Chocobo's are awsome!!!!!!!!!!!:-D

Okay, I know I'm new here and all, but is it too much to ask for you to try? This was obviously hammered out in about 5-10 minutes with no re-reading or anything, as some kind of joke. The problem is, no one's laughing. If you're really serious about writing, formulate at least a basic plot. After that, make the characters behave as they do in the game. I'm pretty sure Rude wouldn't be polishing his head, especially for a date with a guy. Rude's not gay. And, the least you could have done was run this through Microsoft Word. It takes about a minute or two. So basically, try again because as a fanfiction this has failed and as a parody fanfiction this has failed. Don't mean to be harsh but that's how it is.

Yah, we Chocobo's are awsome!!!!!!!!!!!:-D

People who think they're chocobos should seek medical attention, and stay out of this forum until they're fully cured.

Oh-no you didn't!!! So what if I think I'm a chocobo, let me be insane if I want to be!!!!>:O

Wow, I just discovered this treasure trove. Firstly, the idea itself is shit. Secondly, the story fails to even reach the standard I would have expected from such a plot. Finally, if you insist on writing poorly planned and even more poorly implemented stories, would you at least use proper grammar and learn how to spell.

Look if you do not like our stories then just don't bother replying because I couldn't care less if you thought that it was crap. It was a joke so get over it.

Why would I stand idly by and not attempt to discourage this?

Look if you do not like our stories then just don't bother replying because I couldn't care less if you thought that it was crap. .

Why not?. You won`t learn mistakes by endless praise. I suggest you take this criticism on board and think about what you have to do to better your writing skills.

Im not usually one to criticise a fanfiction..



but that was beyond shit.

Look if you do not like our stories then just don't bother replying because I couldn't care less if you thought that it was crap. It was a joke so get over it.

Hmmm... Then I guess the joke is lost upon us.

Well erm... Reno and Elena you are crazy, I will have to admit I did find the story a bit funny. But I think that your spelling wasn't to brilliant and neither was your gramma, it's ok though because I struggle with that to. I think that if you had of spent a little more time on it, it would probably of been better and if you do struggle with spellings and all that why don't you try typing your story up on microsoft word so you can use the spell check and gramma check facilities.

so im pretty sure pink chocobo and reno-and-elena are the same person. they have posts in the same threads, they both regestered around the same time, and they both seem retarted

Thread 26004

heres some support
decide for yourself

this forum sucks

were going to go find a real shrine to the turks cause

WE ROCK

so im pretty sure pink chocobo and reno-and-elena are the same person. they have posts in the same threads, they both regestered around the same time, and they both seem retarted

Thread 26004

heres some support
decide for yourself

Hey that's like saying, Dirge and Mossy are the same person!!! And can't you tell the diffrence between the way we type?! Baka!!!!

Hey that's like saying, Dirge and Mossy are the same person!!! And can't you tell the diffrence between the way we type?! Baka!!!!

Dirge and I have a Futurama thing going but that doesn't come close to making us the same person. Look at the registery dates, I joined nearly an entire year after him. Also we have both posted pictures of ourselves in the 'Creepy internet stalker material thread', although that evidence is dependent on whether or not you believe the pictures are actually of us.

Reno and elena and you on the other hand signed up at similar times and have both defended the others shitty fan fictions to death. Both of you post at around the same time too, strenghening the double account arguement. Personally I don't think you are the same person, but are more likely friends or just two like-minded tards. Still, the only sure-fire way to know is if your IP adresses are compared.

Why bother going through all that trouble just to see if they are the same person... I think that Reno and elena have left because they posted that this forum sucks and they rock apperantly. :rolleyes:

I hope they have...I need to regain the inteligence I lost attempting to follow their dribble...

this forum sucks

were going to go find a real shrine to the turks cause

WE ROCK

Oi! oi! oi! - Don't you dare knock this forum!!! You can't expect it just to be about Turks, it's about a wide variety of things!!! So don't expect to get all the attention!!!

By looking at your story, I see no full stops (.), no speech marks (") and no commas (,) or apostrophes (') , but I did see one apostrophe. Huh? Not even question marks (?) placed at the end of the questions you've placed in the story? Hmmm. Ooopz, I nearly forgot, capital letters, I hardly see any......

Now...

My suggestion - Improve your story by correcting your spelling and place question marks at the end of the questions you put in and other grammar that needs to be put in, and right now, the amount of text in your story wouldn't be enough to fill even one page in a published children's book lmao.:-D

And......

Your written story has too much conversation between the characters and too little background explanation as for ratio.

My advice? - Expand your written text in your story!!!

If you listen to me Elena & Reno and listen to other members and senior members, you'll do much better and if you don't listen, then you'll get nowhere.

Just proving my point.:laugh:

Edit 1: So you think you rock, eh? I think not by the state of your story and stop trying to make out as if you are Elena herself and your imaginery friend as Reno. None of us are impressed. You might as well stop that "woooooooooooo" comment as we are not impressed by that either.

Edit 2: And don't do what you did on FFnemesis unless you are doing the ploy already about having multiple accounts.

Edit 3: There is one more critical error you made:

ERROR ------->Reno & Elena: "We rock and this forum sucks"

Allow me to correct you...

CORRECTION-->Reno & Elena: "This forum rocks and we suck"

this forum sucks

were going to go find a real shrine to the turks cause

WE ROCK

Thought i should add a comment here

Reno/Elena:

That story was mean as a joke right? Fair enough but you can't expect people to take your writing seriously if you spelling is wrong and if you choose to write things that other people won't find funny. In order to produce good quality writing of any kind, whether it be serious or not, the most important thing is to write something for the purpose of entertaining other people and not just for entertaining yourself.

Also putting down a message like the one i've just quoted above also won't do you any favours as it doesn't impress anybody. No offence intended but it just appears childish.

Admin - If it's ok please could you delete this post? i meant to edit this one but instead it came out as a double post below, many thanks sorry about that

this forum sucks

were going to go find a real shrine to the turks cause

WE ROCK

Thought i should add a comment here

Reno/Elena:

That story of yours was meant as a joke right? Fair enough but you can't expect people to take your writing seriously if you spelling is wrong and if you choose to write things that other people won't find funny. In order to produce good quality writing of any kind, whether it be serious or not, the most important thing is to write something for the purpose of entertaining other people and not just for entertaining yourself.

Also I feel I should point out to you that posting a message like the one i've just quoted above of yours also won't do you any favours as it doesn't impress anybody. No offence intended but it just appears childish.

Also if you are going to leave and write fan fics on other forums I really would take into account all the critiscm you've been given on here. I know it's been strongly worded alot of it and negative but that is what's going to happen if you try and pass off a badly grammatically written paragraph as a story on forums, and especially if it hasn't got a real point to it. If I were you I would seriously re-think the way that you write things on other forums in future as otherwise you are just going to either have the p*ss taken out of you or else your stories aren't going to have alot of response over the net.

Well, I fully intend to offend. You suck Reno and Elena, not because you suck at writing, but because you can't take criticism. Not only does your garbage sound childish but it isn't funny which sometimes compensates for stale writing. And this obsession you have with calling yourself "we" is really really dumb. It is NOT funny. I am NOT laughing. NOT FUNNY.

That's a point. Why do you use a double name?

I can understand you doing that in a fan fic story if you want but why introduce yourself over the internet like that? I personally think it's daft. Even if you and a friend are using the same p.c why not just post under different accounts? It gives other members a chance to know you both as individual people then. If on the other hand you are one person but acting as two then again I don't see why you do as it just gives others the impression that you are in the habit of lying about yourself which will mean people will mistrust you.

Still guess i'm going a bit off topic now. Back to your Turks story. As a result of all the critiscm i think people would respect you alot more if you just admitted you didn't do the best job on it and worked on your writing skills a bit before posting anything else. Reacting in the way you have won't gain you popularity points anywhere on the internet. Still on the other hand guess it's your choice if you choose to take yourself and your stories elsewhere.

That's a point. Why do you use a double name?

I can understand you doing that in a fan fic story if you want but why introduce yourself over the internet like that? I personally think it's daft. Even if you and a friend are using the same p.c why not just post under different accounts? It gives other members a chance to know you both as individual people then. If on the other hand you are one person but acting as two then again I don't see why you do as it just gives others the impression that you are in the habit of lying about yourself which will mean people will mistrust you.

Still guess i'm going a bit off topic now. Back to your Turks story. As a result of all the critiscm i think people would respect you alot more if you just admitted you didn't do the best job on it and worked on your writing skills a bit before posting anything else. Reacting in the way you have won't gain you popularity points anywhere on the internet. Still on the other hand guess it's your choice if you choose to take yourself and your stories elsewhere.


Sir, I can proudly say that I'm very impressed in your criticism.
You're a fine critic.

Personally, I'd just like to add one thing no one seems to have mentioned: I severly doubt Reno and Elena act like that in the real game. Though, my disk broke before I actually saw those characters, so I'm just going on comments I've heard from various friends in the past, as well as common sense.

Sir, I can proudly say that I'm very impressed in your criticism.
You're a fine critic.

Thanks for the compliment =). I'm not normally one for commenting on other peoples work to that extent but i really felt a good word of advice to the author of that paragraph was needed in this thread.

By the way am a female lol =) sorry if the user name was a bit misleading. It's one of my favourite summons in FF7 so that's why i picked it. Guess i should have made an introduction topic by now really but haven't yet got around to it.

On Elena and Reno - I saw quite alot of those characters in FF7/Advent Children and can tell you that no they don't act like that in the game. If they had done i'd have had to give the game away due to the fact it's otherwise high gaming standard would have been drastically let down lol

Hey I just found out that I know Reno and Elena and I must say that it is 2 different people with a shared account and they are actually alright people to get on with. I just want to apolgise for them because they aren't normally like that.

I thought they were two people, oh well. I wouldn't know what the admins would make of it though.

I know 1 person using 2 accounts is not allowed, but 2 people using 1? hmm.

I don't know whether or not it's allowed either but I neither of them are coming back on this forum.

Hey! Where is Prak. I'd expect him to be in here telling you guys what its all about.. then you'll see..

Why bother? This is one of those cases where I don't need to say anything.

hmm.. good point.. I stand corrected..

Where is ..... jes playin'

well that story was a little strange

Looks like Reno/Elena have truly left. Guess the subject is pretty much past it's sell by date now.

Looks like the Turk story isn't going to be corrected.

yes she has left i spoke to her the other day

OK - this has gone on long enough.

Please keep all of your social chats to PM, or some sort of instant messenger. If I find anyone saying anything in this thread, or the free-for-all thread that is not related to the 'literature', you will be banned.

Ok sorry about that.

Well in regards to the story, it wasn't a proper original fan fiction and I hope my previous comments have helped the author realise why it wasn't so.

Thats the last of my comments on the subject.

Yeah... good point, soz Raidenex.

I have nothing else to say now in this topic...

Please don't resurrect old threads just to say that you have nothing to say.

T___T