Little children shouldn't read this (either should I but I wrote it so I can read it as much as I like)

This story is the worst story I've ever written because it is baddly written (younger at the time of writting) and its very dumb and sickening (my mind was very dirty at the time.. all my friends were bad influences!!)



When a normal person wakes up, they usually can�t wait to see what might happen from then until they go back to bed.
When Michael wakes up, he usually can�t wait to see whom he might gruesomely slaughter that day.

Michael�s first job he�d ever got was being a butchers apprentice. He loved watching his boss mash up the pig heads and cow livers. He�d stand as close to the bench as possible so the blood would splatter all over him. He loved seeing blood. Especially when it was splattering against his apron.
When holidays came he would always kill the turkey, chicken, pig, cow, deer, chimpanzee, llama, goat or whatever type of meat he thought would suit the occasion, himself. His Parents didn�t really notice that their son was going maniacally insane and they didn�t have a clue that he would soon murder, decapitate, amputate and all around chop up and eat his family, friends or people he thought would be a good feast.

One Christmas Michael went out to find a turkey to slaughter. He was about half way into the forest when suddenly a wild rush of insane cannibalism and went back home. He rang the doorbell and waited. His mother came to the door and asked him why he didn�t have any blood on him. He answered her question by jumping on her and biting her throat out.

When Michael finished his Christmas dinner of his family he licked up all the blood in the house and went to give the leftover bones to his dog. Before he got outside he decided he was still hungry so instead of giving the bones to his dog, He ripped the flesh off his dogs bones and chewed them wildly. When he was done with his dog he decided to go feed the leftover bones to his neighbours dog�

When he had finished gnawing the flesh and tissue of his neighbours he decided he needed to urinate. Since he was now a savage he decided not to pee in his toilet, But instead on a busker outside the mall. He expected the busker to get mad at him and try to murder him but instead the busker pulled him aside away from the public and forced Michael to make love with him. Michael went along with it thinking that it was doubtful that anyone would make love to him when he was older because he was a savage beast. When he done being raped and raping the busker he went down and started to suck the busker�s genitals again. The busker started to quietly moan, then loudly moan and then scream in horror as Michael bit his penis of and ripped of his testicles. He chewed and swallowed these two things and then snapped the busker�s leg off at the knee. He started to gnaw on this and then saw the busker trying to hop away. He tripped him by throwing the kneecap at the back of his head, and then the busker started crawling. Michael grabbed his remaining leg and pulled him into the darkness by it. The busker screamed and tried to grip the ground with his nails but they just bleed and fell off.

5 years later and Michael was 21. He had gotten on living by rapping teen boys and girls and then eating them when he was done. He kept teens that he liked alive in a small dungeon and fed them leftovers from the victims he didn�t like. He would have his way with his prisoners at day and rape/eat/kidnap unwary teens by night.

When Michael turned 31 he decided to see what he tasted like. He started by ripping out his throat� Though he never got to taste himself because he didn�t know you needed a throat to live.

The End

wow you are really fucked up

yup really fucked up.

Not anymore.. That story is over a year old, when i re-read it today it sickened me. I wasn't just sickened by the story itself, but also sickened by the thought of ME writing that story.. I was confused as to HOW I managed to write something so stupid, childish and gross. I've changed now though

wow..........i'm not sure if i am horrified by the story, or by how crappy it is. ok, first of all, is the guy like, super-human? does he have fangs and super strength? i really doubt he could rip his mom's throat out with his teeth, and i doubt that he could bite a man's testicals and penis off, and then just casually rip off his leg as if it were a chicken leg. also, what the hell is a busker?? and you really need to learn english. not just in the story, but in your thread title "baddest story i've ever written". baddest isn't even a word. try using "worst".

Good.

Because rapping to people and then eating them is plain cruel.

Lol, I named it "baddest story ive ever..." for a reason. its because I am aware of how bad the story is written and how it makes little to no sense. The story was also meant to be humorous, not reallistic.

ok, but what the hell is a busker?

And a busker is someone who plays instruments, sings, dances etc on the street for money.

Not anymore.. That story is over a year old, when i re-read it today it sickened me. I wasn't just sickened by the story itself, but also sickened by the thought of ME writing that story.. I was confused as to HOW I managed to write something so stupid, childish and gross. I've changed now though

I'm glad to here it just make sure this never happens again or i'll rape you and rip your balls off and stuff.

I'm glad to here it just make sure this never happens again or i'll rape you and rip your balls off and stuff.
hahahahahaha, how ironic.


Good.

Because rapping to people and then eating them is plain cruel.
hahahaha, that is cruel. it's crueler(is that right? sorry, but i am like half-asleep right now) than raping people and then eating them

Heres a less fucked up story by me (was VERY young when i wrote this):


Gary was a monkey who lived in a town called Pestarfy in Italy. Everybody loved Gary except a group of gangster type people. These people had lots of body piercing and tattoos. They wore baggy clothes and their boxers showed. They hated Gary because he always stopped them doing illegal things. You see Gary was a super monkey with super powers so he can stop crime. One day the mayor of Pestarfy was walking in the park when he saw something in a bush. He went to go take a look only to find Gary lying down dead with a small bullet hole in his head.

*

The whole town was very sad and all of them wanted to bury him but the doctors of the town said they should study him for clues to who shot him. Everybody said it was probably the gangsters but the doctors wanted to know for sure. The saddest person was the fruit salesman because Gary was his number one customer. Susie Saifen was pretty sad too because she always used to play games with Gary like hide and go seek and tag. The mayor of Pestarfy finally announced that the doctors couldn’t find any clues so they were going to bury him on Saturday.
At the mass Susie came up to talk.
“Gary and I were good- actually I came up here to confess something. I SHOT GARY!”
The audience gasped.
“Why Susie, why?” asked the mayor.
“Its because he always beats me when were playing so I stole the mayors gun an shot him!”

*

Susie got locked up that Sunday and no one ever talked about monkeys or guns again!


THE END!

WTF??!!!!that makes no sense!!!!(were you trying to put a little surprise twist at the end??) if they are in italy, shouldn't they have italian names? also, what kind of name is pestarfy? it's not very italian(yes, i know you were young, i just like to overanalyze and criticize)

Lol.. I don't think im gonna bother arguing with THAT anyname13579. You've beaten me :-P

hahahahahaha, i know. it's good that you recognize it.

I feel like being made fun of some more. Heres another badly written story:

Tom was fat. Everyone made fun of him because he was fat. He knew he was fat but he hated to admit it so every time someone called him no neck or ankle hider he would sit on their head until they turned purple. He knew they were purple because of how much they struggled. Every day he would eat 17 pancakes, 10 eggs and 22 pieces of toast for breakfast, 7 hotdogs, 12 hamburgers and 9 packets of chips for lunch, 18 sausages, 3 turkeys and 6 steaks for dinner and 40 donuts between every meal. His parents told him to stop eating but he just sat on their heads. One day Tom got hungry so he asked his mum if they could go to the shop for him but they told him he would have to walk there because they were going out. He complained and said it was 25 kilometres away but his parents said there was nothing they could do. He thought he would just catch the bus but then he remembered he couldn’t fit in the seats (he couldn’t fit in the car seats either so his parents had a specially made seat put in the back). He was just going to give up when his tummy gave a big growl. He decided the only way he was going to get something good to eat was to walk. He had walked for about 5 minutes and was already puffed out so he thought he might have a short rest. He had rested for about two minutes when a man going for a walk came around the corner. The man noticed Tom and asked him what he was doing. Tom told him that he was going to the shops. The man told Tom that it would be much quicker if he took a short cut through the forest. Tom was willing to do anything to get to the shops quicker than it would usually take so he thanked the man and started walk into the forest. About ten minutes into the forest Tom saw a monkey. Tom loved monkeys a lot so he smiled and waved at the monkey. The monkey ran up to Tom, poked Tom’s belly and ran away laughing. This made Tom really angry so he started to chase the monkey trough the forest. He chased the monkey for hours and hours until he somehow ended up out of the forest. He saw the shops and started to walk towards it. When he got a bit closer to the shops he saw that the police were there. He kept walking and as he got even closer he realised that his parents were at the shops talking to the police and crying. Tom realised that he was in the forest for a long time and his parents were probably so worried that they reported him missing. He ran the rest of the way to the shops and started calling for his parents. They looked his way but just turned away and kept talking to the police. He ran up to them and started to tap his parents on the shoulder. His mum turned around and looked at Tom as if he was gigantic snot or something.
“DO YOU MIND?!” roared Tom’s mum.
“WE JUST LOST OUR SON AND YOUR JUS-Tom? Is that you? Why are you so skinny?” Asked Tom’s mum. Tom looked down and saw his feet at realised he was no longer fat. He realised that he must have lost lots of weight while he was chasing the monkey. He told his parents this story and they were just so happy to have Tom back that they didn’t care if his story was true or not.
That night when Tom’s parents were tucking him into bed His dad asked:
“Well what have you learnt today Tom?” So he simply replied
“I learnt that monkeys aren’t really that cool after all.”

The End!
The moral of this story is not to wave at monkeys if you’re fat.

................i cannot say anything.it is beyond being critcized. it's in it's own dimension of crap.

Awwwww... i thought i was gonna get criticized :( what a shame

JUST KIDDING!!!!!i will now post my critique of this story...

ok, first of all, what is a monkey doing in a forest in what is assumed to be a northern town?? and, the monkey would be afraid of the kid, not run up to him and poke him in the stomach. also, if the kid gets tired after walking for 5 minutes, how does he chase after the monkey for hours?? if people lost that much weight after running after a monkey for a few hours, then the entire world would be filled with poor monkeys being chased by fat asses.
no person could eat that much food in one day, everyday. he would probably be dead within, like, a month. another thing, his parents would be grieve stricken. i doubt she would scream at a kid "DO YOU MIND!!!??".

are you from like, europe or something? cause i noticed that you say "the shops" and you used the metric system. i bet you are from england because you called the mom "mum".

Jeez you take things way to seriously... This is also another one of my humour based stories that isnt meant to make sense!! You should learn your fact from fiction.

No im not from England, im from Australia

no, i wasn't taking it seriously. i was just overanalyzing, like i said before. i know tat it was fake. it was actually a funny story.

you're from australia? that's cool. i want to go there.

Good.

Because rapping to people and then eating them is plain cruel.

lol :)

in my opinion; Im alot better at writing poetry than I am at writting short storys.

in my opinion; Im alot better at writing poetry than I am at writting short storys.
You're a shitty poet and a shitty writer.

Err thanks mmm, you're entitled to your opinion as well. But I still believe that I am good at poetry.

Then you're living a lie.

Im alot better at writing poetry than I am at writting short storys.

Shit is a lot better than your short stories. So I guess by the transitive property which applies to you and you only, your poetry is shit too.

in my opinion; Im alot better at writing poetry than I am at writting short storys.

Give us an example?

Examples Here (Thread 20070)

I thought I saw you coming,
I thought I heard your voice,
I wanted you so bad,
So I imagined you by choice,Yeah this is practically William Blake quality.



My chest is throbbing
I need some help
But could I tell them “I stabbed myself”?
BAHAHHAHAHAH. AHHHHHHHHAHAHA.
OH. Mercy me.


My wrist is bleeding
I’m in great pain
But I continue cutting, all the same
You're awful. Give it up.

My throat is burning
I feel insane
But I keep on drinking the bleach for the drain.



?, i thought peotry is good?




He did not walk,
he did not run,
he did not play games,
he did not have fun.



Haha, i geddit, it ryhmes so it must be poetry.:)

in my opinion; Im alot better at writing poetry than I am at writting short storys.
I never come into this forum, but the stench coming from your shit is so immense that I had to investigate.

You didn't write any of this in the past; you wrote it a few days ago. Because you got so hurt with how some people treated you here, you decided to come up with these sick and twisted 'stories'; which, btw, these are not stories. These are piles of shit. People would rather drink a shitshake than read this utter nonsense. Face it, nothing you write is going to be good. It will all get worse and worse and worse.

wow, people, you guys are really harsh. not dirge so much, but smokey is, and mrmonkeyman is the epitome of what you call an asshole.

These are piles of shit. People would rather drink a shitshake than read this utter nonsense. Face it, nothing you write is going to be good. It will all get worse and worse and worse.


And you called mrmonkeyman an asshole because he said something worse than...this?!

Of course, I wholeheartedly agree and I stand by my previous statement which has just been proved:


Shit is a lot better than your short stories. So I guess by the transitive property which applies to you and you only, your poetry is shit too.

These are piles of shit. People would rather drink a shitshake than read this utter nonsense. Face it, nothing you write is going to be good. It will all get worse and worse and worse.

who said that?


And you called mrmonkeyman an asshole because he said something worse than...this?!
what do you mean by this?

YOUR FUCKED IN THE HEAD I JUST READ THE LAST COUPLE LINES AND I HATED IT! AND I DON'T USUALLY SAY FUCK ON FORUMS BUT YOU PUSHED ME TOO FAR!!! :eye:

Sorry

Yeah you better be. =-O =) Over it now. I think.

Err thanks mmm, you're entitled to your opinion as well. But I still believe that I am good at poetry.

In my experience, anyone who thinks that their poetry is good usually writes bad poetry.

In my experience, anyone who thinks that their poetry is good usually writes bad poetry. - The finshing blow

If you're disgusted by it and realize it's horrible, I don't understand why you bothered posting it.

Because im a worthless attention seeking piece of shit who deserves being made fun of but needs a reason so people don't seem like dicks.. theres something for ya to continue insulting me about.. wouldn't want the insults to end would we?

Oh em gee, angst !

Since we've gauged your awfulness now and this has turned into a llama pity party, I think this thread has peaked.