submissive attitude and Dijk mah bekia

Living a life between the two opposite sides
Stuck because my blood ties-
And freed by my heated hatred
Nay, hate is too much of a rash expression
Never feeling completely at ease
And always searching, wondering, hoping
To retrieve my innocence that I once adored

Forced to contain myself in my own lil world
Pretending all is happy to the world outside
Whilst a storm, in my very being, rages
Daily, tearing at all my emotions, however
I feel hope is near. My answer to life,
Cometh in the very form of my suffering
Life is truly not without its sense of irony

How long must I play the strangers afool
Noting every word, movement, thought
Only to remain quiet as a shadow in the moon�s light
When will it be time to reveal it all?
Placing all of those that played a part, in a shocked state
Oh rapture, that day will be, to empty my soul
And be rid of these heathens manipulating strings.

As for this day, I must remain closed to them all.
Giving no trace of my knowledge previous to what was learnt
Back to the padded walls of my coursed mind
And broken emotions, from the jaded days of life
No longer does death hold its grim hands upon me
Waiting for the moment I can�t take anymore-
Dropping to the cold earth acknowledging my death
-My submission to life�s o� grandiose death-