Opinions needed: Does this sound ok?

I’m starting yet ANOTHER story, and I want to see what you think of the opening.

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�Come along, Morrigan� The person addressed pushed curly hair out of her eyes in annoyance. She turned and continued following her companion down the time-worn path. She approached him, who was as beaten by the elements and time as the track they were walking.

�You called, Taka?� He turned and gave her a look of confusion, shaking his head.

�No. You know I don�t like to talk while travelling down this cursed path� He shivered, viewing their heavily wooded surroundings with suspicion. Morrigan rolled her eyes. They were all like this. Superstious to a fault, they never spoke out loud in a place of the Lady�s for fear of getting caught.

Though popular rumour said that the �Lady� was not a creature of the earth, others argued that she was just as human as every one of them. Sometimes she was a kind, wise deity; other times a cunning sorceress, sometimes, a courageous lady-knight, riding a steed as white as snow. Her appearance changed along with her stories. Most of the time she was a willowy lady, with pale hair and even paler skin. In others she was a spirited redhead, when freckled skin and a fiery temper. Least of all, she wasn�t human, but a monster of some sort, a demon.

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That’s all I’ve come up with, so far. There is more, but it’s all just ideas not strung together properly. No stealing! It doesn’t make much sense anyway.

One of my favourite writers, when giving me advice, said you should be able to write two sides of A4 on each of your characters – describing who they were, what they believed, looked like, etc. Brevity is hard to come by, but be sure you can develop things further than a few lines before…well…asking for people’s opinions. There’s not really much to go from here. Sorry. You seem to have a good sense of writing, it just lacks much to go on.

Thanks!

Pretty good, dude! ^_^

Why must you always come into these threads and say the same thing? Everything’s good to you and you never say why. That’s worthless to a writer. Constructive criticism is what anyone who cares about their writing is looking for.

I agree with Prak. If you think it’s good, why don’t you give a reason for it? Besides, there is allways something negative. If you can’t point out good or bad things with the story in your post, don’t post at all.

Trouble Is Me: That was good, but it seems to lack something. It actually seems to lack very much. As mrmonkeyman pointed out, you shouldn’t just post a few lines of your story. People would want to read more before they can give their opinion.

I don’t think you should agree with anyone Dark Auron. You say "it’s good" to a lot of work around here.

I think the key thing in this story that you seem to be missing is showing the details instead of saying it outright. It adds more detail and personality to the characters. Try it out man. Not too bad, but there is definitly some room for improvement.