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Irvybabe
08-13-2006, 05:47 PM
You say you’ll love me Forever,
But is that the truth or a dare?
You want to hold my body,
And run your fingers through my hair.

You Touch me as if you need me,
You pull me down to your bed.
But sadly and strangly,
Your not the only thing in my head.

For as you kiss me slowly,
I remember just one thing.
You not the man i love,
The one that means the most to me.

Now i don’t want you,
As much as you want me.
I stand up to say im sorry,
And how we could never be.

But scarily you get angry,
And start to tear at me shirt.
You decide to steal my virtue,
And leave me in a world of hurt.

Then roughly you pull away,
Get dressed and leave the room.
I find a knife and slit my wrists,
My being at its doom.


Prak
08-14-2006, 02:35 PM
Thank you for helping us to fill our awful poetry quota for the month.

Machiavelli
08-14-2006, 02:53 PM
Thank you for helping us to fill our awful poetry quota for the month.

Pfffft. Dont listen to Prak with all his "reason" and "obvious familiarity with the Engilsh langauge"

BRAVO, ENCORE!

*Edited as not to offend "sensitive" people*


Spartan18
08-30-2006, 03:34 PM
That was very good.But rather sad.:-\

Black Paladin
08-30-2006, 03:55 PM
It needs work, but the emotions behind it are expressed, so GJ even if it needs refining

Spartan18
08-30-2006, 03:57 PM
Every poem needs work.You just need to practice and keep making each poem better and more sacred.

The emotion is there.That’s what you need to feel when you read a poem.


Black Paladin
08-30-2006, 04:00 PM
Way to copy my post.

Spartan18
08-30-2006, 04:05 PM
It wasn’t intentional.Sorry

Black Paladin
08-30-2006, 04:07 PM
No worries.

jewess crabcake
08-30-2006, 07:35 PM
Umm nice beginning, slows down at the middle, and you get a little emo at the end. It’s still good though GJ, better than my poetry, they start with roses are red violets are blue.

Black Paladin
08-30-2006, 07:40 PM
It was a bit emo at the end, wasn’t it.

jewess crabcake
08-30-2006, 07:45 PM
I mean suicide is not funny and doesn’t result to sympathy, just ridicule and pity.

Black Paladin
08-30-2006, 07:54 PM
Unless that someone is in the last throes of depression at least.

Starscream
08-31-2006, 12:31 PM
MEH.
And mainly what Prak said

BizarroSephiroth
08-31-2006, 02:04 PM
Thank you for helping us to fill our awful poetry quota for the month.

You suck!

I really liked it!


Prak
08-31-2006, 02:42 PM
No one ever accused you of having good taste though, so that comment merely reinforces my own.

Swedish Fish
09-01-2006, 12:15 AM

Just thought you should know.

Black Paladin
09-01-2006, 12:27 AM
No one ever accused you of having good taste though, so that comment merely reinforces my own.

I LOL’d at this, probably ’cause it’s true.


jewess crabcake
09-01-2006, 12:30 AM
I’m a little worried did umm she write that poem as a suicide note? Has anyone seen her around?

Black Paladin
09-01-2006, 12:31 AM
Uh, thats a good question, I’m not sure.

Starscream
09-01-2006, 10:45 AM
ROFL, KAILAS.

~Sakura~
09-01-2006, 11:45 AM
I like the poem, sure it was abit emotional at the end but she(?) or he(?) is trying to get a point across, that for a woman to be invaded like that you feel as if there is no use for you anymore. A woman can be completely destroyed by an experience like that, especially if it’s there first time. It might scare them from sex thier entire lives and what a waste that is. So sure it’s a bit emotional but on a delicate subject about rape, it was bound to be. Nice job Irvybabe…

PS i hope it Wasn’t a suicide note…


Black Paladin
09-01-2006, 02:28 PM
No I doubt It was a suicide note. I doubt Irvy would even consider it.

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