Best comeback line ever

Best Come Back Line Ever." In summary, the police
arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. on Friday. Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public indecency, and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday. The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to stopYou know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles. At least I thought there wasn’t," he stated in a phone interview. Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of theroad, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need." Guess I was really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett County police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached him."That was an unusual situation, that’s for sure, "said Officer Taylor.I walked up to Lawrence and he’s…just pumping away at this pumpkin." Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence.I just went up and said, "Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you’re having sex with a pumpkin?"." He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then looked me straight in the face and said,"A pumpkin? F**k me, is it midnight already?"

Here is the second best comeback line ever:

"Well, the Jerk Store called, and they’re all out of you!"

Here is the best, but it only works against the second best otherwise it sucks:

"So what? You’re their all time best seller!"

"Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you’re having sex with a pumpkin?"

"A pumpkin? F**k me, is it midnight already?"

NNNICEEE

It’s smart. It’s a smart line, and a smart crowd will appreciate it. And I’m not going to dumb it down for some bonehead mass audience!

haha that’s good.

i didnt notice what forum this was in. post in the right place from now on please. =(