A little quote from a famous game creator:
"Many loves playing game, but not many interested to make one."

Well... If you can make one, are you interested in making one?

Yes.

monkey

Well... That is not really the question meant...
What kind of game would you create, how to make it and else...
A storyline flows into your head, and you want others to experience it by playing it. logically (and shortly) game designing supposed to mean.
RPG Maker is interesting, but it is just another game, if you think about it.
So...?

Absolutely. Once I get through Java and C++, I really want to do something of the sort.

Maybe a RTS, they don't get much love compared to other genres.

I'd art direct, write and concept for a game. The actual coding and such isn't my specialty at all.

My concept already been stolen, It was robots that destroy each other... God I love armored core.

I'd rather be a Creative Director. I have lots of ideas, art, stories, and concepts.
But I find programming boring.
What's stupid though (well at least I think it is), is the fact that I can spend hours animating a 1 second clip, video editing, or graphic designing. But if I try to program, I lose interest fast.

Well, if I could be arsed to make one, sure. Although I'd probably make an RPG which is also part schmup. I already have a good idea of how the game will play out and look, and also have a story to go along with it.

I've been coding games for the last 20 years, from Amstrad CPC through to Amiga and now pc.

I've been using PlayBasic for the last couple of years, but Blitz3D prior to that. I'm just putting the finishing touches to a GBA puzzle-game remake in BlitzMax at the moment (requires cut-scenes and sound/music), but currently comprises of 125 levels.

I tend to specialise in remakes, but I have created several original games.

I'm open to ideas and have created games in numerous formats - from versions of arcade games (like Data East's RoboCop) to 8 and 16bit titles - RockRush (a physics accurate remake of BoulderDash), JetPak PB (a cross between Defender and JetPac), B'lox! a puzzle game, Balloonacy (a strategic action game), Super Burger Bar (BurgerTime update, with power ups), Sokoban and Shadow of the Beat demo to mention just a few.

I can provide links to WIPs, full games and screenies.

I'd rather be a Creative Director. I have lots of ideas, art, stories, and concepts.
But I find programming boring.
What's stupid though (well at least I think it is), is the fact that I can spend hours animating a 1 second clip, video editing, or graphic designing. But if I try to program, I lose interest fast.

i agree with like the first and second sentense of this. this is prolly what most of us really dream about. but then we find out we have to learn programming and then the dream just dies. (back i go to doing deliverys) lol.

i learned html and css for fun for my site and i love it. but programming is a whole diffrent ball game and i dont' think i would care to learn a new language like that. >.<

i'd rather just be the writer, or the illustrator. i like those. :)

I've played around with gamemaker and the custom built code in that, and some of the stuff I made wasn't sub par but I never created anything special.

I might try and learn some "real" gaming code over the summer or after my GCSE's.

I've been searching for such software but I never find one.
It is always my dream to create a RPG. But as you say, RPG maker doesn't offer that much features, the characters that could included in the game is dangly limited. And the TRUE/FALSE values might make you feel like breaking your head with a hammer...
As for another creator, I find them just editing their database and making it your own story...
I just don't know the name of the software...

Perhaps I should try my hands in Programming?
But the fact up there makes me kinda freaked to even try it..

RPGs are pretty simple affairs to code really, however they require massive amounts of work in other areas - especially graphics and story.

A typical RPG has a huge world which to grab initial interest has to look good. Then the story has to engage them. Together, just those two elements will take up probably 80% of the total development time (with music and sfx taking up 10-15%). The actual coding will probably take less time than any other element.

Oh, so that's it.
You are right, the graphic would take a very long days of work.
I'll try coding it, thanks.

(I can't create my own music, so I guess I'll use some from Final Fantasy.
Whatever, the game is for my home use only, I think... fufufufu...)

Creating games? Maybe one day...I have a good one all written down on paper in as full detail as possible, but I'm going to school for Information Systems and striving to be a Networker by the end of my schooling career. I'd like to get a job at SCEA doin the PS3 online stuff. I already have an A+ certification, just need to get Network+, Server and Security+, and possibly a CISCO certification, and I'll have that job in the bag. Just hope it pays well, so I can be outta debt =^^=;;;

So do I..
I have some good concept in my head and almost all of my friends are helping me...

Like they say, the journey is better than the outcome...

I had planned out a game like Dead Rising one year before it's release...just wished that I had jumped on that train sooner before it left me behind ::shakes head::

I've been searching for such software but I never find one.
It is always my dream to create a RPG. But as you say, RPG maker doesn't offer that much features, the characters that could included in the game is dangly limited. And the TRUE/FALSE values might make you feel like breaking your head with a hammer...
As for another creator, I find them just editing their database and making it your own story...
I just don't know the name of the software...

Perhaps I should try my hands in Programming?
But the fact up there makes me kinda freaked to even try it..

I have my interest in game designing for some years, so I agree with this one. the true/false might messed up your story. since it will decide the outcome of next event's occurance. However, for RPG, programming it would be a simple thing. All you need is a good story, and then everything will be covered up.

THIS-IS-M-A-P-L-E!!!
I should quote that more often.

I have my interest in game designing for some years, so I agree with this one. the true/false might messed up your story. since it will decide the outcome of next event's occurance. However, for RPG, programming it would be a simple thing. All you need is a good story, and then everything will be covered up.

THIS-IS-M-A-P-L-E!!!
I should quote that more often.

That's if you want your story to be very linear, which has been the downfall of Japanese RPGs in the minds of a lot of players. By adding specific true/false events, you can control the flow of the storyline and simplify the code work you have to do.

Event planning for an RPG is hard work, I tried a 3-pronged story way back when I working with an older version of RPG maker. The real difficulty was writing a story so that it allowed the player to go undo or change the story from one story direction to the next.

I've been thinking a concept in my head...
They say if your story is a good one, you could convert it into novel.
If your story IS that good. You may able to get a free game design, no hard work, in other words.
However, I can't prove this theory just yet...

I've been thinking a concept in my head...
They say if your story is a good one, you could convert it into novel.
If your story IS that good. You may able to get a free game design, no hard work, in other words.
However, I can't prove this theory just yet...

My friends and I have been trying our hands at writing for at least 4 years, and it's quite difficult. There is always a guy that is detail oriented (me) and then there is the guy who wants a good character story (my friend). It's really hard to work out a storyline when you have two people writing in two different styles in order to express a point, plot change, character enactments...its a headache, so i can understand if making a good novel converts into a good game

My friends and I have been trying our hands at writing for at least 4 years, and it's quite difficult. There is always a guy that is detail oriented (me) and then there is the guy who wants a good character story (my friend). It's really hard to work out a storyline when you have two people writing in two different styles in order to express a point, plot change, character enactments...its a headache, so i can understand if making a good novel converts into a good game

Makes sense... Like he said, there might be no hard work for the game designing... But you need a story that very good--- really good enough, and it will require - an ultimate PATIENCE!!!!!

My friends and I have been trying our hands at writing for at least 4 years, and it's quite difficult. There is always a guy that is detail oriented (me) and then there is the guy who wants a good character story (my friend). It's really hard to work out a storyline when you have two people writing in two different styles in order to express a point, plot change, character enactments...its a headache, so i can understand if making a good novel converts into a good game

Makes sense... Like he said, there might be no hard work for the game designing... But you need a story that very good--- really good enough, and it will require - an ultimate PATIENCE!!!!!

I could see the point of these. However, novel has a different language to use: you can't insert gaming glossary if you want to make a "classic" one. For example...

...Some of the armed maidens just behind her quickly come to the maiden with the special-patterned robe�s side. Once they are in an orderly position, they move their right hands to their chest.

The special-patterned robed maiden nodded, and the maiden back to their ease position. A maiden with another different pattern steps up and repeat the move those maidens did, which looks like a salutation.

Once she�s back in her ease position, she promptly asked a question, �Something wrong, executor?�

�It would be sounds hilarious if we call each other with the title �executor��, said her, �You should call me with my first name if we are in such� an unpleasant situation, Freya.�

�I am not interested in trivial things, Eva. Your sudden order makes a little disarray back there. Shouldn�t we keep moving in schedule?�

Eva smirked, no one could see what she is thinking, not even what kind of stare Eva showed to Freya. Her robe covered her eyes, just like the others. Her expression could only be judged by her smile.

After some moments of silence, Freya starts the conservation. Asking what does she meant by stopping her forces, they have schedules to chase and Freya keep mentioning about how much time Eva had left...

Maybe the hard work is creating the story after all... I've just finished 24% of my story. The concept in my head is finished, but I just can't put it into sentence...

I've always written stories and such, so for me, the storyline and background stories for characters and places isn't the problem for me. It's like what everyone has said already; it's the coding.

...Some of the armed maidens just behind her quickly come to the maiden with the special-patterned robe�s side. Once they are in an orderly position, they move their right hands to their chest.

The special-patterned robed maiden nodded, and the maiden back to their ease position. A maiden with another different pattern steps up and repeat the move those maidens did, which looks like a salutation.

Once she�s back in her ease position, she promptly asked a question, �Something wrong, executor?�

�It would be sounds hilarious if we call each other with the title �executor��, said her, �You should call me with my first name if we are in such� an unpleasant situation, Freya.�

�I am not interested in trivial things, Eva. Your sudden order makes a little disarray back there. Shouldn�t we keep moving in schedule?�

Eva smirked, no one could see what she is thinking, not even what kind of stare Eva showed to Freya. Her robe covered her eyes, just like the others. Her expression could only be judged by her smile.

After some moments of silence, Freya starts the conservation. Asking what does she meant by stopping her forces, they have schedules to chase and Freya keep mentioning about how much time Eva had left...

I don't know but I guess I've read this story before... Could it be "Kingdom of Harmonia?"


I've always written stories and such, so for me, the storyline and background stories for characters and places isn't the problem for me. It's like what everyone has said already; it's the coding.

It's quite hard to design a character specifically... especially the place, it's hard to make a detail even if you imagine it in your head. I am working to design one place (using 3D Mark) for three months, but still it doesn't feel like right.

The thing with all my stories is I kinda write like George Lucas. Excellent descriptions of items, places, and people, and amazing background story work, but when it comes to character development, it's either very basic or really crappy. I need someone to balance me out without totally getting rid of my style as well as good inspiration.

Oh, and just write the idea first before the start of programming. If ya do it all right, the programmers will come to you. ::nods::

I don't know but I guess I've read this story before... Could it be "Kingdom of Harmonia?"

Yup.
It is a part of "Kingdom of Harmonia - The Two Empires and The Forbidden Siblings, the second part of the story."
However, it was me who write it and I think I never write this online.
Maybe the copies spread along the WEB??? Impossible, it not finished yet!


The thing with all my stories is I kinda write like George Lucas. Excellent descriptions of items, places, and people, and amazing background story work, but when it comes to character development, it's either very basic or really crappy. I need someone to balance me out without totally getting rid of my style as well as good inspiration.

Oh, and just write the idea first before the start of programming. If ya do it all right, the programmers will come to you. ::nods::

Couldn't agree more with the second paragraph.
Got some bothering problem about the characters eh...? Luckily I have a friend that could put the characters into a graph for me.
My main problem id just like Fujiwara-Bunta, I can't image the detail of the places and stuff. I tried to imagine a very majestic and grand palace but the result was a crap...
I guess I must start building "Dragonfyeld Palace" from the beginning again.:-X
(By the way... I used FF IX's "The Place I'll Return Someday" for its BGM... hahah...)

(By the way... I used FF IX's "The Place I'll Return Someday" for its BGM... hahah...)

PIRACY ALERT

KoH was your writings? I don't believe it. Anyway, have you heard the site news? Some spammer named Fallen Boat or something spammed nearly every thread here. I don't know what is he talking about. But some user thinks it's nasty and some reported him. Any eye witness?

Coming back to create a new 3D castle for my kingdom.

Couldn't agree more with the second paragraph.
Got some bothering problem about the characters eh...? Luckily I have a friend that could put the characters into a graph for me.
My main problem id just like Fujiwara-Bunta, I can't image the detail of the places and stuff. I tried to imagine a very majestic and grand palace but the result was a crap...
I guess I must start building "Dragonfyeld Palace" from the beginning again.:-X
(By the way... I used FF IX's "The Place I'll Return Someday" for its BGM... hahah...)

Collaboration, anyone?? =^^=

Collaboration, anyone?? =^^=

I gladly accept.

Collaboration, anyone?? =^^=

Just telling you, my friend put it in a picture. Not yet in computer graphical format.
Anyway if you have problem about creating game, I might be able to help you.
Plot master, I am.

Dragonfyeld Palace outlook is still SUCKS!!!

so what do you guys want to write about?

I'm a coder, so I can put together the bits and pieces if required.

so what do you guys want to write about?

I wrote about a story of a very great empire: Dragonfyeld. In the story, Dragonfyeld conquered "the world" and reign it for many centuries. However, rebellion starts everywhere and finally Dragonfyeld cannot cope. A new nation is born, the Reamist Queendom. Now: Reamist Queendom royals once is Dragonfyeld's most royal executors (the replacement word of "Generals"), the Phoenix Squad.

Now, one of the Reamistian. Lisa Reamist, is bonded with a Count (Emperor/King's younger brother) of Dragonfyeld as a sworn-sister. Realizing this, Lisa's older sister make a plot to hand Dragonfyeld to the Count. Because they realize, stealing Dragonfyeld's land will "cost" very much.

But then things go wrong, the Count, which already become an emperor, suddenly turned, opposites Reamist and orders to invade them. At the end, the Count turned dead.

His wife is very enraged and settle a massive retaliation campaign, which devastated Reamist, leaving Lisa into a hatred state in her heart, swearing Dragonfyeld shall destroyed with her very hand.

However, then. Lisa realizes that her mother, is a mysterious 11-year old girl: is one of Dragonfyeld founder. The girl is extremely powerful so her father puts her into a time seal. But then she was released by Sakura, the Count's empress.

(The Count did not become an Emperor because of Reamist. Dragonfyeld royal family make a pact with the Count, if he could ever married. he will instantly be the emperor no matter the time. Of course, this is a ridiculous pact: the Count was cursed by an ancient witch spell: he has a girl face, a very beautiful one, even all man says that the Count was the most beautiful human in "that world" (but still you can't use it to attract girls, I suppose). But then, an assassin that was sent to kill him fell in love to him (Sakura). They got married, and the Count was instantly become the Dragonfyeld's Emperor.)

Well, that is half of the entire story, as short as I could make possible.

I'm a coder, so I can put together the bits and pieces if required.
we're workin on storyline right now, but a person with your skills will be needed if things get off the ground

executor, your synopsis sounds pretty good so far. I'm real into all sorts of political power plays and the changing of the guard. I may be able to complement your idea quite well, but you will have to develop the characters. I'll follow your format, but I can add in the little details that make a good story a great one.

you have any ideas fujiwara?

Executor's synopsis amuses me. So I agree if we'll play his format. I suggest we make the battle system in RTS (Real Time System). Any of you have played DW/SW? Now we should use that kind of format for battling, but we should make magics/skills available, the skills also must identical and not the same as the other one, the is where rockford should take place. I also believe Washuaddict could edit executor's story and make it better. Looking at the synopsis, we should make Dragonfyeld setting looking good, but also with chaotic appearance. Meanwhile for Reamist... any ideas???

However, looking at executor's posts. I'm able to understand something. First. he said that he is building Dragonfyeld Palace, but can't picture it. Second, he said it was his friend that able to picture his characters in graphics. Means he is sucks in any graphical design. I could fix this problem. Unfortunately some stupid uploading/downloading quote and some unavailable things from my IP makes me can't help about it (well, I chose the cheapest IP). I guess I could help you with other things that could put into a document. Executor, please make the list of the characters, I'll handle their skills, weapons, and items for this (in words), also post the complete, clear synopsis of your story (you said that was only a half of it) . But, we'll need someone who could make a good graphic. What do you think about it, washuaddict?

J.K Rowling said Goodbye to Harry Potter. (This has nothing to do with the game design, just telling you all ^_^).

Woah, don't jump the gun just yet Fujiwara! We need for executor to complete his story and get it all edited and sorted out before any type of gameplay is decided. If we decide that now, he will basically write a story fine-tuned to a gameplay style, and that doesn't make for a good storyline.

::thinks:: Although, a DW/SW style game doesn't sound that bad for this story...but we'll wait and see after he is finished and then make some sort of executive decision based on the text and its style. It may even evolve into some sort of RTS (Real-Time Strategy), or an RPG...but like I said, we'll find out when he's all done with his text.

Executor, please make the list of the characters, I'll handle their skills, weapons, and items for this (in words), also post the complete, clear synopsis of your story (you said that was only a half of it) . But, we'll need someone who could make a good graphic. What do you think about it, washuaddict?

I'll gladly write it down here for you guys. But it'll be a complete pain if I put it into this thread. The story is full of detail and I don't know if even a page of a thread could cope with it, not even a single chapter.

As I said, I wrote it with a novel-language style. So how about this:
I will tell the basic plot of a chapter, then Washuaddict (or the others) could make a comment and maybe, edit it to a better rank. One by one. Then you could execute your plan, Fujiwara.

Well, I need Washuaddict's and Fujiwara's agreement first.

The characters, PM it to Fujiwara and as for agreement...I'm in! =^^=

Fine, but it's not very polite to post it here.
Fujiwara, post me something to my e-mail: [email protected]
Then, I'll give you the list of the characters.

I’ve read executor’s reply via e-mail and these characters below are likely to be my favorite:

Lisa Amadeus Reamist/Farah Shadeire Spectre – A lighthearted 18-yeared old girl which has a terrible dark past plus the main character of the story. Lisa was believed born in Blackstone Village, a village that devastated by trouble-making rebel in the region. She is the only survivor of the raid. When she got 11, (One year after her village destroyed). She joined the Dragonfyeld Army to avenge the villagers. Some years later, she made a sisterhood to another, surprisingly talented executors, which known as “Reamists of the Phoenix Squad”. They were the most famed rebel-exterminator until a major battle named, “The Battle of Forty Forth Erevia”. Eva, Lisa’s sister in her sisterhood suddenly has a change of heart; she declares her and Phoenix Squad’s independence with raiding an important Dragonfyeld stronghold, Hexagron. Lisa has a mysterious power of healing her comrades even without a wand, she also able to cast awfully painful fire magic.

Meanwhile, Farah is a result of Lisa’s personality change. Lisa and her comrades disappeared immediately after Reamist Queendom fallen. She re-appeared, as Farah Phantom. An insane vicious rebel destroying Dragonfyeld cities and village. Lisa loses her healing powers. But as a replacement: she could ruin what she wants with her dark spells… Farah lives for revenge, not for anything else.

Mist Lunares Dragonfyeld – The 7th offspring of Dragonfyeld siblings. Mist was born in a village that cursed by a witch, Puteraco. Puteraco is a village covered in mist. Day to night, night to day. Somehow, the royal family made a decision; the curse shall be transferred about to born baby to put the curse off once and for all.

This move, however, makes him has a girl face, a very beautiful one. But this makes him a laughing stock for the empire, even his own family. However, behind this curse, a dark secret lies, Mist serves as the witch’s incarnation, in other words, Mist has the power of the powerful witch. He could control water, air, and earth, transforming it into anything he wants. He has a weakness: fire. The witch died burned alive, and so it becomes his only fear.

When he was 14, he used his power and gathered up with other three people with extraordinary powers in a group named Shiryunoyume (Four Dragons of Dream) to exterminate rebels, and was nicknamed as “The Earth Maiden”

Mist is bounded with something; she was a sworn-brother of Lisa. As they have saved each other many times. However, there is a reason, an unexpected reason that forces him to fight. Mist loses in a duel with Lisa and died in the half part of the story.

Rei Hikarishira – He is one of the Holiare Tribe survivors. Holiare Tribe is an ancient tribe which has wings on their back and everyone has their own sacred powers. He uses Earth-elemental skills well, but he is more into his healing ability. One of Shiryunoyume with the nickname “Fire Acolyte”. Unlike Ralph, he always hides his wings.


Ralph Skyfort – Another survivor of Holiare Tribe. A very proud man and resembles himself as an angel. Have an arrogant and single-handedly but friendly personality. He has ability to controls wind. One of Shiryunoyume with a nickname, “Sky Angel”

Sieghard Blizzarave – A cold-hearted guardian of Grale Hill. He is likely to be anti-social but will be very friendly if someone is close enough to him. Sieghard and his clan have a power to generate cold powers everywhere and summons a mythical guardian creature named Altersnow. One of Shiryunoyume with a nickname, “Water Swordsman”.

Eltres Blizzarave (Antagonist) – A powerful, but extremely conceited girl. Eltres’ ability is far more superior compared to his brother, Sieghard. Eltres is the one who hunts Sieghard when he defects to the side of Reamist.

Silvia Rosalia Dragonfyeld – The 1st offspring of Dragonfyeld siblings. Silvia, which still an infant, disappeared when rebels raided Dragonfyeld Palace, which known as “Lunar Extermination”. No one knows she is still alive, as Silvia never shows herself to her family. In the story, you cannot defeat her even after few encounter.

Sakura Dragonfyeld/Amy Lanford (Antagonist) – A heartless assassin sent to end Mist’s life to avoid Renellfield (a name of Dragonfyeld city) bloodshed. Amy was failed to kill Mist at the first time, so she keep trying with a mask that she could be Mist’s “Shadow Guardian”. However, time passed and Amy ended fell in love. They ended up married. Feels the name Amy has tainted by her past sins, she changed her name to “Sakura”. Still, Sakura came back into her old self when Mist died. Totally angry with Mist’s death, she settled a full-power campaign, causing Reamist to fall.

Lunaria Lutheve Dragonfyeld – She actually lived in the period when Dragonfyeld was founded, or actually the daughter of Richard, the Dragonfyeld founder. Eve is very intelligent; she could make any stratagem into a major victory. She invents spells, power gems, anything. However, she has a terrible, inhuman manner. She thinks it is fine to kill any enemy even they have admitted their submission. This makes Richard anxious, and seal Eve into a time seal. Eve might resist that time, but he always obeys Richard, no matter the order. Sakura awakes Eve when Reamist Queendom fell to hunt down Lisa’s group.



Wow... I’ve erased some words that will appear in the story. But I can’t believe it is still this long… shall we, executor?

Wow... I�ve erased some words that will appear in the story. But I can�t believe it is still this long� shall we, executor?

The length cannot be helped. Now I'll start
(I will use the same method of telling the story the same as the upper post, with the basic timeline of it.)



Prologue - The Deserted Dream

This chapter is telling about Lisa's dream of her past: events occurred in "The Battle of Forty-Forth Erevia". Two years before Reamistian declares their independence.

Forty-Forth Erevia was a large military institution of Dragonyeld. Until the Erevian Leader (A special Executor who leads Erevias) suddenly got an impression that Dragonfyeld is no longer siding to the civilian of his area.

And so, the Erevian Leader, sets a rebellion by blocking supplies of Dragonfyeld cities. Realizing this, the current Emperor of Dragonfyeld (Chad) made a major campaign and crusade to the northern continent.

In the chapter, Eva (Lisa's sister) called to Dragonfyeld' main camp with an emergency state. Feeling not right, Eva told Lisa to keep crusading and guard the place in their crusade in the same time.

When Lisa crusading in an area of a hill. He saw an enemy unit, camping on the foot of the hill. Seems like the odds are on them, Lisa orders to charge.

But it was too late to realize it was them who's outnumbered. The small number of soldiers was just a bait in case any Dragonfyeld unit would pass. Any Lisa get caught on it. She left her supplies and reinforcement to guard the villages and cities on the way of their crusade: Lisa's fleet is falling fast.

Lisa has already accepted her defeat, and death when a rain of arrows strikes her defenseless fleet. When she closes her eyes to endure the pain she might take. She heard a very loud voice of sword cutting something, loud enough even in a noisy battlefield.

Another fleet interfered with the battle. She could see many soldiers with blue -silver armor almost everywhere. After consuming the information that a reinforcement has come. She looks to the one who was making the loud noise, and find a beautiful person. wearing a man' armor.

It was Mist. cutting the arrow aiming to Lisa's heart. (This is Lisa's very first encounter with him). Even after the shouts of victory yelled, it takes some time to Mist to replies Lisa's strange stare.

Not for a long time staring each other, Mist says something weird.

"Wake up will you, sis."

And Lisa awakes from her dream and find herself in an unfamiliar place...





Anything to edit... everyone?

MY STORY IS ABOT THE HOLY KNIGHT GARAMOND MAN HE IS LIKE SO AWESOME HE GOES AROUND AND BAM BAM BAM YOU ARE DOOMED TO THE WHATEVER MAN

MAY THE HOLY SWORD GARAMOND...

MY STORY IS ABOT THE HOLY KNIGHT GARAMOND MAN HE IS LIKE SO AWESOME HE GOES AROUND AND BAM BAM BAM YOU ARE DOOMED TO THE WHATEVER MAN

MAY THE HOLY SWORD GARAMOND...

Whoa...

i am a dm and a gm form d&d and white wolf so i would probly use one of mys torys form that way xaiver ( the d&d charater of mine ) i cold make yet lsit 3 games baserd on his life so fair so its a basic final fantasy game mixed with chrono triger mixed with shining force so it would be more absed to thhe story lines like that

Actually, I think I may have lied there. Though the Garamond character is extremely important and is given a lot of backstory, his appearance in the story itself is minimal when compared to the likes of the Renegard and Oiboln/Lucas.

Actually, I think I may have lied there. Though the Garamond character is extremely important and is given a lot of backstory, his appearance in the story itself is minimal when compared to the likes of the Renegard and Oiboln/Lucas.

You mean in your storyline...?


Man, I need Wasshuaddict and Fujiwara's confirms before proceeding to the next chapter...

next chapters can be a major pain @_@ i hope your game goes well if you erver get it made

next chapters can be a major pain @_@ i hope your game goes well if you erver get it made

We are working on it. Wasshuaddict, rockford and Fujiwara taking care of anything else. I just handle the story.

That's why I need you guys to criticize my story to make it better...

We are working on it. Wasshuaddict, rockford and Fujiwara taking care of anything else. I just handle the story.

That's why I need you guys to criticize my story to make it better...

so fair its not a bad story line

so fair its not a bad story line

Thanks
That was just a prologue, the real story about to start
But as I said before, I need those guys replies first.

Executor, you need a bit more speech. There's mostly actions this. Character interaction is a must. Also, add a small battle scene to give the reader a taste of what's to come. Oh, are you going to write in 1st, 3rd, or narrate the entire story? It'll help me help you with a tad bit of technique. Besides tweaking it, this is a good base to start.

Executor, you need a bit more speech. There's mostly actions this. Character interaction is a must. Also, add a small battle scene to give the reader a taste of what's to come. Oh, are you going to write in 1st, 3rd, or narrate the entire story? It'll help me help you with a tad bit of technique. Besides tweaking it, this is a good base to start.

I could write it down for you, but really. It needs to be separated.
The interaction will likely to be a very long speech to write and I don't think people will be able to read it at once. Just informing you, the Prologue Chapter actually has 24 pages of Microsoft Word. I could send you the script if you like, but of course it would need about 2 days to convert a chapter into a script chapter.

About the battle scene. I must admit I missed it.

The battle scene is a huge desert.

About the way of the story. I won't use my original writings, but I'll narrate ::explains why there are hardly no conservation in the chapter:: it instead. Basically I will write about the timeline and the occurs of events, so it will be quite short because it is only the "bones". However if you need explanation about a thing of the story, I'll post the add-ons in reply.

I've been planning and improve this story for 6 years and there shouldn't be any problem. But I know you're more expert in this so I'll get on with it if any part of the story needs to be edited/added/deleted.

Once Fujiwara posted a reaction and I'll continue to the next chapter.




I've just asked Ash to create the cards for the characters, but only for the characters Fujiwara wrote. (You could get one if Ash agrees...). I must say I make myself resembles as Sieghard...

To me as a coder, the story is irrelevant (despite the fact that what I've read sounds good) - what I will need to start with is an outline of how the game will start, some script and some graphics as an example, unless you want me to just use placeholders, in which case I'll need to know what size characters to use (in pixels). What size screen do you want the game to play in - 640x480,800x600, 1024x768 are pretty standard.

I can knock up a map editor for the tiles so that you can have scrolling expansive outside areas if required or indoor areas. The actual map drawing can be a collaborative affair, but I'll leave that down to you.

I need a basic list of characters - and an idea of how they will battle (be it Zelda like real time or FF style turn based), also how they will level up.

If turn-based, I will need to know what attacks each character can start off with.

I need to know how characters talk - either like a Point & Click game (above the characters' heads), or in text boxes like Final Fantasy.

Give me some ideas and I can start immediately - they are all pretty simple things, but need to be clarified.

:)

To me as a coder, the story is irrelevant (despite the fact that what I've read sounds good) - what I will need to start with is an outline of how the game will start, some script and some graphics as an example, unless you want me to just use placeholders, in which case I'll need to know what size characters to use (in pixels). What size screen do you want the game to play in - 640x480,800x600, 1024x768 are pretty standard.

I can knock up a map editor for the tiles so that you can have scrolling expansive outside areas if required or indoor areas. The actual map drawing can be a collaborative affair, but I'll leave that down to you.

I need a basic list of characters - and an idea of how they will battle (be it Zelda like real time or FF style turn based), also how they will level up.

If turn-based, I will need to know what attacks each character can start off with.

I need to know how characters talk - either like a Point & Click game (above the characters' heads), or in text boxes like Final Fantasy.

Give me some ideas and I can start immediately - they are all pretty simple things, but need to be clarified.

:)



Sorry, somehow I missed about such vital things.

About size screen resolution, it would be wise if we choose resolution people usually use (between 800x600 ~ and 1024x786).

From what I imagine, size of characters will be a little bit hard. I think it would take 5% of the place itself.

For the map, I must say I am sucks at it. I am only able to put those at words, but not any graphical appearance. I don't know if it is my stupid Hardwares behind this or maybe it is just me. So what I'm able to do is give you the 2D picture of the location (with paint). About interiors I leave it in your hands.

Basic List of Characters with their usage of weapon: (not in order)

Reamistian: Lisa Reamist/Farah Spectre (Blade), Eva Reamist (Blade), Freya Lanford (Fan), Gunther Dwain (Katana), William Schmitz (Long Blade), Rei Hikarishira (Scepter), Ralph Skyfort (Javelin) Angela Reamist (Not Fighting), Reamist Generals (Long Blade), Reamistian Soldiers (Blade).

(Note: Reamistian has the colors of Red and Gold, With a Phoenix Symbol forged on their armors)

Dragonfyelder: Mist Dragonfyeld (Silver Sword - fixed), Sakura Dragonfyeld (Scepter), Lutheve Dragonfyeld (Magical Powers - Book/Instant Spells), Eltres Blizzarave (Long Blade), Raquel Dragonfyeld (Broadsword), Daisy Dragonfyeld (Not Fighting), Jesse Dragonfyeld (Instant Spells), Cloud Dragonfyeld (Dagger) , Chad Dragonfyeld (Scepter), Jude Dragonfyeld (Not fighting), David Lunarsphere (Blade), Steven Nightblue (Fencer), Landaire Reide (Fan), Albert Sterdeer (Instant Spells), Jeanne Reide (Manipulation - Depends on enemy's weapon), Yumi Nightblue (Instant Spells), Stephanie Deepblue (Scepter), Adel Southesky (Blade), Brian Leonhart (Broadsword), Bedfrord Cranefira (Chainblade), Oscar Leonhart (Not Fighting), Dragonfyeld Executors (Broadsword), Dragonfyeld Solders (Long Blade).

(Note: Dragonfyelder has the colors of Blue and Silver, With a Dragon and Crescent Symbol forged on their armors)

Dragonfyeld Defectors: Sieghard Blizzarave (Blade), James Mecuria (Fan), Henry Westwind (Javelin), Risvanov Southesky (Wooden Scepters), Bhime Cranefira (Chainblade), Raine Deepblue (Blade), Crystal Deepblue (Dagger), Vanessa Deepblue (Scepter)

Reamist Defectors: Karine Deepblue (Javelin)

Other Forces: Edward Saraver (Scepter), Silvia Dragonfyeld (Blade)



That was the basic list of the characters
(Plot explanation: Deepblue Family actually is one of Dragonfyeld family's "shards". For some reason, the Quad of Deepblue (Raine, Karine, Vanessa, Crystal) secretly leave their territory and help Reamist during the wars against Dragonfyeld, and always behind a mask. Since nearly of them siding with Reamist even they are still Dragonfyeld royal members, I put them into Reamistian category. In the case of Karine, she is not consistent with her choice. She fell in love with Dragonfyeld' strategist, Landaire and siding herself back to Dragonfyeld.)


...I suggest we make the battle system in RTS (Real Time System). Any of you have played DW/SW? Now we should use that kind of format for battling, but we should make magics/skills available, the skills also must identical and not the same as the other one, the is where rockford should take place...

This should be served as an answer, the battle system will be quite more amusing if we merged Musou and RPG battle style together. Basically the Battles are just like SW/DW. But not in such massive numbers. Also skills and items are necessary, so they cast and use that kind of choice while battling like this.

About the way character's talk. Maybe we should do it the conventional way, but using the way of speech like Wild Arms 4 could be a better way to conserve the size of what the outcome would be.

Thanks for reminded me, Rockford

Lol




そっと目覚める...

(I write it in Japanese so some of you guys might can't get it
Whatever, it's trivial anyway)

Man I kinda slipped off about my memory. There is one character missed.

Lisa Dragonfyeld

Yeah, I know. There is Lisa Reamist.

Lisa Dragonfyeld is a risen daughter of Mist and Sakura. She was found by Mist when he was still 14. Since then, Mist hides the girl in his room and for years, Mist keep convincing her that he is her father and her mother is somewhere far.

She will start appearing when Sakura sets the grand campaign to annihilate Reamist. And of course, with an avenging heart serving cold. Lisa will be the last opponent of the story.

To avoid story disarray. When Lisa Dragonfyeld starts to appear, Lisa Reamist name has changed into Farah Spectre.

Oh, and yes. From this point onwards, there will be 2 vital things that will control a major part of the storyline.

Rune of Three Moons

It is a the most sacred, ancient weapon created by Lutheve. implanted on the user's left eye when the user born. Rune of Three Moons randomly appears in any newborn (the same case as Mist), but they will only occurs once in 1 century.

As for the story, there are three runes.

Rune of the Blue Moon: The user would control all Earth Elemental at once and the pain will be multiplied (Earth Elemental: Earth, Water, Sound, Darkness). This rune held by Mist, but when he is in his dying state. He transfers the rune to his daughter.

Rune of the Crimson Moon: The user would control all Heaven Elemental at once and the pain will also be multiplied (Heaven Elemental: Fire, Air, Time, Light). The holder of the rune is Lisa Reamist. But in the case when she turned into Farah, her rune corrupted and she's no longer able to uses her healing powers.

Rune of the Corrupted Moon: This rune originally named Rune of the Brightest Moon until someone in the past tainted it. The user will be able to use both of the elementals, making its the most powerful compared than the other two. Originally, the rune would make the user able to control all elements at once. But tainted rune disables anyone's healing power and will eats the user's health everytime the user uses it. The rune will also plagued half of the user' body as a pact. The rune holder is Silvia Dragonfyeld.

In addition, there are something called "Lunar Dream". A rune holder could see what another rune holder seeing when they are sleeping. This events occurs randomly.



The Fated Twins and The Emperor of Destiny

This refers to two twins that Eve has given birth. The Twins of Light will stop chaos Dragonfyeld once and for all, meanwhile the Twins of Darkness will destroy Dragonfyeld, leaving the land into a massive, new revolution.

Eve is extremely intelligent so she could able to read the situation. The outcome will appear if there of them died and one lived. If it is one of the Light Twins: The first outcome occurs. And if it is one of the Darkness Twins: The opposite outcome occurs. So she put them into the time seal and design it so they'll awaken in different time, and make one of the Light twin the last one to awakes, and also the last one to die.

Eve's poet that explains this will be shown in the Shrine of Three Moons:

There will be a time
When the chaos is no longer bearable
Four maidens shall awakes
From their long slumber

Two shall live
For the sake of their ancestor
Two other shall live
For a new revolution the world beholds

Two path shall be decided
However the choser' eyes will be blind
They'll never know which are their ally
They'll never know which are their enemy

The "light" will hide in the shadows of the dark
As the "light" destroys the light
The "darkness" will hide in the brightness of the light
As the "darkness" destroys the dark

Which way is still not decided
It is a slippery way, bur short way
Or it is a fine, but long way
The hands of fate shall show themselves...





月 の 天......
(The Angel of The Moon......)

(Deepblue Family actually is one of Dragonfyeld family's "shards". For some reason, the Quad of Deepblue (Raine, Karine, Vanessa, Crystal) secretly leave their territory and help Reamist during the wars against Dragonfyeld, and always behind a mask. Since nearly of them siding with Reamist even they are still Dragonfyeld royal members, I put them into Reamistian category. In the case of Karine, she is not consistent with her choice. She fell in love with Dragonfyeld' strategist, Landaire and siding herself back to Dragonfyeld.)



Rune of Three Moons

It is a the most sacred, ancient weapon created by Lutheve. implanted on the user's left eye when the user born. Rune of Three Moons randomly appears in any newborn (the same case as Mist), but they will only occurs once in 1 century.

In addition, there are something called "Lunar Dream". A rune holder could see what another rune holder seeing when they are sleeping. This events occurs randomly.



The Fated Twins and The Emperor of Destiny

This refers to two twins that Eve has given birth. The Twins of Light will stop chaos Dragonfyeld once and for all, meanwhile the Twins of Darkness will destroy Dragonfyeld, leaving the land into a massive, new revolution.

Eve is extremely intelligent so she could able to read the situation. The outcome will appear if there of them died and one lived. If it is one of the Light Twins: The first outcome occurs. And if it is one of the Darkness Twins: The opposite outcome occurs. So she put them into the time seal and design it so they'll awaken in different time, and make one of the Light twin the last one to awakes, and also the last one to die.

Seriously, where do you get ideas like these? I've never read such a plot... If we could realize this, it would may be a very good one.




Eve's poet that explains this will be shown in the Shrine of Three Moons:

There will be a time
When the chaos is no longer bearable
Four maidens shall awakes
From their long slumber

Two shall live
For the sake of their ancestor
Two other shall live
For a new revolution the world beholds

Two path shall be decided
However the choser' eyes will be blind
They'll never know which are their ally
They'll never know which are their enemy

The "light" will hide in the shadows of the dark
As the "light" destroys the light
The "darkness" will hide in the brightness of the light
As the "darkness" destroys the dark

Which way is still not decided
It is a slippery way, bur short way
Or it is a fine, but long way
The hands of fate shall show themselves...



.................................................. ...
You DO take literature major, don't you?

I could write it down for you, but really. It needs to be separated.
The interaction will likely to be a very long speech to write and I don't think people will be able to read it at once. Just informing you, the Prologue Chapter actually has 24 pages of Microsoft Word. I could send you the script if you like, but of course it would need about 2 days to convert a chapter into a script chapter.

About the battle scene. I must admit I missed it.

The battle scene is a huge desert.

About the way of the story. I won't use my original writings, but I'll narrate ::explains why there are hardly no conservation in the chapter:: it instead. Basically I will write about the timeline and the occurs of events, so it will be quite short because it is only the "bones". However if you need explanation about a thing of the story, I'll post the add-ons in reply.

I've been planning and improve this story for 6 years and there shouldn't be any problem. But I know you're more expert in this so I'll get on with it if any part of the story needs to be edited/added/deleted.

Once Fujiwara posted a reaction and I'll continue to the next chapter.




I've just asked Ash to create the cards for the characters, but only for the characters Fujiwara wrote. (You could get one if Ash agrees...). I must say I make myself resembles as Sieghard...

Ah, it all makes perfect sense! Could you e-mail me the first chapter in its entirety? If you are comfortable with it, of course. If you do decide to e-mail it, please include some notes (if possible) for me to look at so I can understand your thinking while I look over it.

Oh, and I am far from being an expert at writing. I can always start my ideas, but can never finish them, but when I work with another person or group of people when writing, it helps me out because I don't have to come up with all the ideas. =^^=;;;; Also, you guys can help me fine-tune my writing skills with your ideas and suggestions, so this is a win-win situation.

Seriously, where do you get ideas like these? I've never read such a plot... If we could realize this, it would may be a very good one.
.................................................. ...
You DO take literature major, don't you?


Ah, it all makes perfect sense! Could you e-mail me the first chapter in its entirety? If you are comfortable with it, of course. If you do decide to e-mail it, please include some notes (if possible) for me to look at so I can understand your thinking while I look over it.

Oh, and I am far from being an expert at writing. I can always start my ideas, but can never finish them, but when I work with another person or group of people when writing, it helps me out because I don't have to come up with all the ideas. =^^=;;;; Also, you guys can help me fine-tune my writing skills with your ideas and suggestions, so this is a win-win situation.


I don't really know. Sometimes I saw them in my dreams and before I realize it is already became a chain of stories.

Some of my friends and my family kind of surprised seeing the basic line of the story. My mother always said me something like "natural talent" or anything like that (no matter what it is, I am totally a weakling when it comes to graphics and sports, since my psychologist says I lost my sense of gentleness). They keep encouraging me to make it a good novel and publish it. But I do it half-heartedly, I only think this story is right to serve a RPG, not for a novel. So I progress slow in converting them into novel chapters.

I know it's nearly impossible to remember you dream entirely as I can't remember my dream entirely too, but I could still remember some of their quotes. Such as this:

"A long time ago, I used to think everything controlled by fate. But then I realize it is not quite true, as it is still imperfect. The outcome will likely decided by which way you take. Then God will show you the result." - Lutheve Dragonfyeld

Oh, and I don't take literature major.


About the chapter one. Do you mean entirely (the original one) or something for the timeline but with much more detail? As I said, for the original one. I am far from finished. I've only finished 9 from these chapters:

Chapters /// Kingdom of Harmonia – The Two Empires and The Forbidden Siblings

Prologue – The Deserted Dream
Chapter 1 – Forbidden Sibling
Chapter 2 – Hexagron Castle
Chapter 3 – Back to Fifth Erevia
Chapter 4 – The Messenger of Death
Chapter 5 – The Experience to Repeat, Battle of Renellfield Area
Chapter 6 – The Festival Where it All Starts
Chapter 7 – The Healer
Chapter 8 – Grale Hill, the Expansion Plan
Chapter 9 – Symphony of the Snowy Night
Chapter 10 – Hexagron Castle Again
Chapter 11 – Search For the Angel
Chapter 12 – The Maiden of Light, Mist’s Marriage
Chapter 13 – Raiding Mistekreuz
Chapter 14 – The Rushing Night
Chapter 15 – Battle of Holyhealer Palace
Chapter 16 – Puteraco Village’s Enforced Mission
Chapter 17 – Northern Continent
Chapter 18 – The Castle of Light
Chapter 19 – Surprising Home Tales
Chapter 20 – Bloodshed to Repeat, Second Battle of Renellfield
Chapter 21 – The Black Stratagem, Battle of Shrine of Three Moons
Chapter 22 – Chasing the Villainous Moon
Chapter 23 – End of a Swore, Blue Moon’s Death
Chapter 24 – Angel for Comrades, Demon for Enemies
Chapter 25 – The Empress with Half-Soul
Chapter 26 – The Avenger, Battle of Dehaven City
Chapter 27 – Catastrophe, A Parting Dawn
Chapter 28 – Four Years Later
Chapter 29 – A Plan of Removal
Chapter 30 – Gateway of Extermination, Taking Windia City
Chapter 31 – The Siege
Chapter 32 – Setting the Moon Army
Chapter 33 – Sacred Retaliation, Battle of Mt. Reide
Chapter 34 – Emerged Dark, After The Empress' Death
Chapter 35 – The Snowy Tombstone
Chapter 36 – Extension Trial, Battle of Charon City
Chapter 37 – Waking The Dead
Chapter 38 – A Reunion, Battle of Vega City
Chapter 39 – Grale Hill Again
Chapter 40 – Ruins of The Filareans
Chapter 41 – Erevia of Saba
Chapter 42 – Second Holder
Chapter 43 – Requiem of the Moon, Battle of Caster Fortress
Chapter 44 – My Mother is a 11 Year-Old Girl
Chapter 45 – The Violent Rain, Battle of Bravell City
Chapter 46 – Garra de Leon
Chapter 47 – Eve, Battle of Ertuna City
Chapter 48 - The Major Breakdown
Chapter 49 – Fate Re-Corrodes Me, Battle of Reide Palace
Chapter 50 – The Last Hiding Place
Chapter 51 – Destiny, Battle of Deepblue Manor
Finale – Where I Spoke To the Sky


I wrote my concepts not in my computer, it is too much of a harass. Sometimes the sound of your computer fan make you feel like sleeping (unless you listen to some music, but it hardly helps me), makes me can't generate a good story. So I wrote it down in a book instead.

But if you want its full part instead. I should start typing so we could catch the schedule for rockford.





______________________________________

I read about RPG Maker XP and I don't like it. It's for beginners.
We should make it as Fujiwara says: create an authentic one from 3D mark, I know it is much more smooth than other creator.
rockford is experienced so I guess he could cope about it.

I wonder where are the skills Fujiwara said?

Dang Executor, you're serious about this one.

My suggestion currently is to split what you have into two books. What you have listed is a lot of material and for you to make one book out of it...just imagine what the game would end up being...massive...

All I want is to read the first few chapters to see where you are going and to get a feel of your style.

You are totally in charge of what you put in it, after all, you made this entirely yourself, all I want to do is see if I can modify a few ideas and words to make it a little different (if at all needed).

Oh, and I think, if you do decide to make two books, to start with the siblings. You may have to overhaul their relationships with each other as well as the people each one surround themselves with, but it could evolve in multiple different ways into an all out war.

Alright.... Here is it: The First Chapter - The Forbidden Siblings (Part 1)
(Note: the language of the chapter is imperfect since I wrote it 4 years ago. The perfect one is on my book but I guess the basics of it is enough)

�You�re awake��

It is the beautiful person in the battlefield who saved her in the battlefield. The person is sitting on a chair next to her bed. The person looks very sleepy, as the person just waiting for something.

�Brother Mist�?� Said Lisa

The person named Mist nods.

�It�s a dream�� said her, attempting to arise and sit, �Where am I?�

The man gazes with a miserable expression, �This is my room� Well, as you can see there is nothing here� However I am glad you�re awake. I cannot stand waiting for you all day long by the bed�s side.�

�Your room�?� she surprised, �Dragonfyeld Palace!? I shouldn�t be here��

Lisa swiftly tries to get off the bed. But she cannot. Instead of arising, she just fell down again.

�Whoa� easy there.� Said him, correcting Lisa�s current position, �You can�t remember anything, can you? You fell from your horse and become unconscious. So now you should get some rest.�

�He is right� I remembered I was dropped by my horse back then� I suppose that I cannot keep it in mind it� Ouch, my head really hurts.�

Lisa give up, she is well awake about her condition as she could feel pain all over her body. She attempt to rise again and sit. After catching a breath, she gazes the view that lies in the room

It is an enormous room. But it is more likely looks like a library than a bedroom. Thousands of books placed neatly in their shelf. A large symbol of Dragonfyeld hangs above the wall where a frightening pipe organ lies. When Lisa moves her glance up, she could find the ceiling, is so gorgeous. A paint of a dragon with crescent moon as it background decorated by so many jewelries such as ruby, sapphire, emerald and yellow diamond. The room is also well lighted for a room in a castle, in fact. She just realized it that the room lies in the top of a tower.

�This is your room?� asked her in wonder, �It is just fit for a royal family member� No, it is just right for an emperor, so gorgeous��

Mist smiled for a little while, answers �I am just a count*, I will never be an emperor. This room you see now, I like everything here. So, I could agree with you. With an exception: I hate the ceilings, the jewels are too blinking so sometimes you cannot have your nice, good night sleep.�

�But it is very artistic, indeed.� Said her shortly.

�It is not artistic anymore when it�s bother you.� muttered him.

He gave Lisa a little more smirk. Then off to his desk, he settled some kinds of purple-colored herb and few of unknown roots, and start compounding. When he is busy to compound, he have the time to ask, �Sister, what kind of dream you�ve been into? You are so noisy and that was really making me restless, since those escorts may enter my room by curious. It will be exceptionally huge problem if they know you are here.�

�That�s sounds like a trashy word from you.� Said her, throw a glance to Mist, �But you maybe right if I was noisy� I dreamed about it, the battle of Forty-Forth Erevia. It is just brings memories back��

Mist came back from his desk, carries a vial with brown-colored liquid in it; he sits back on the chair and says �You see, sis� It was just a past and you should forget about them. You are no longer a Dragonfyeld warrior� You are now a free princess in your queendom. No more battles are necessary.�

�But my sister Eva and the whole clan� including me, now acknowledged as Dragonfyeld empire�s traitors.� Said Lisa, shows a melancholy look, �Our clan and the Phoenix Squad declared independence and now here we are, a battle of blood between two empires at this moment. If you said there was no battle necessary, then you are not learning from the Battle of Lucea Plains.�

Mist understood and knows about it, but he is showing no intention of quarrelling, �How could I forget that battle. Listen, I do it merely for your sister and your sake either. I was not betraying anyone; in fact that I was just helping someone that wanted independence. You saved me back then when Lady Eva prevented me from coming back to this land� But as a cost, it is the battle Lucea Plains� How many years it has been?�

Lisa relaxes herself and responds, �It is two years after the Battle of Forty-Forth Erevia, or three years ago by now� We end it by the Battle of Lucea Plains and that was

________


* Count: a royal family descendant that cannot be a king/emperor because there are someone who older
than him.

it. Half of our army believed in you and escort you back to Dragonfyeld lands� Ah, when we running away like that, the rushing thing. Doesn�t it bring back memories? I still remember Sieghard�s first word when he aided us that time.�

��You both such some troublemakers.�� Answered him, pouring the vial�s liquid to a glass beaker, �It such cruel words, Blizzarave clan are all the same. Somehow makes me feel like it was yesterday. Anyway, perhaps the days of war has over since my family members looks like have calmed down. and� here is your medicine.�

Lisa looked into the beaker, saying �What is that gross thing?�

�It is not gross.� Said Mist, looking into the beaker again. �There is no single gross thing about it.�

�Well, if that�s right. Looks like bitter to me.�

�It is not; in fact it tastes very good. I guarantee it.�

�I hate herb potion, what would you do if it tastes bitter?�

�I will pay you a million gold coins, and I swear it.� Said him, forcing Lisa to hold the beaker, �Now get it already, you�or we don�t have much time staying here. We�ll leave by midnight so you must heal in this very short time.�

Again, Lisa surrendered. She looked again into the beaker and tries to smell the fragrance of it: but it couldn�t be described. It smells like tea either coffee. But she relieved that the smell of doesn�t so badly. When she had enough thinking, she finishes the liquid at once.

The liquid tastes weird, it tastes moreover sweet but a little bit sour. She could find a strange warm feeling passes thru her throat. But then both an icy and refreshing feeling every time she breathes.

�You have any more?� said her, smiles to Mist, �That was really strange� I never thought that some medicine like these tastes good. I thought herbs would be bitter or worse� Really unfit for girl�s taste, I could say.�

�Actually that is what I concerned about��

�About what?�

Mist scratches his hand, and then says, �You see. Basically herbs are good for your health. Especially this one. I made that liquid with a base herb named Charaes. It tastes very good, like you just tasted. As the effect could make its drinker revitalized in only some few hours. But the side effect��

�What?� asked Lisa quickly.

�Addiction.� Said him, arising from his chair, �Charaes makes someone addicted to them. Well, if you can find this herb in a market. I suppose that there will be no problem. However��

He walks to the racks of book, and takes one of the thickest books. He looks like busy by looking the pages before he sits back and shows Lisa a piece of writing about the herb.

�See? You could only find these in Mt. Mist.� Said him, still holding the book, �It somehow makes me proud that the name of the mountain is the same like mine. However in this case� Mt. Mist is a home of many ferocious dragons, makes me think that you have to fight one or two of these things before you could get one of these Charaes. You could find these herbs in few stores. But it will cost ridiculously expensive� these proves too much of a good think is just� too much. It took me two or three times to think before I had it for the first time. I assume there won�t be any problem if I use just a small dosage... you won�t feel like more later on.�

Lisa nods; even she actually a little bit doesn�t understand Mist�s detail explanation.

�Say, brother.�

�Yes?�

�Will you take me home?� asks her with hoping expression. �I mean, could you take me back to the castle?�

Mist sighs, �If I say yes, it means I will ignite �The Battle of Lucea Plains II�. Your sister is too kind to me� too kind enough that even I am not allowed to go home. I am not deserved with such hospitality.�
________
Short explanation - Battle of Lucea Plains:

Two years after the Battle of Forty-Forth Erevia. The Reamist clan with the entire Phoenix Squad suddenly declares their independence by taking one of Dragonfyeld�s strongholds, Hexagron Castle. This makes Dragonfyeld Family infuriated and ultimately declared war to the Reamist clan. But instead of helping his family, Count Mist was supplied the Reamist clan with weapons so they could defend. This also made Dragonfyeld family furious of Mist, forcing Mist to stay in Hexagron Castle for some moment. Six months later he received a recalling letter from his family, asking him to come back. First he decides to disregard it. But later on he felt homesick and fell ill. He asked Eva to let him go home, but Eva didn�t allow it. Lisa who found that Mist in a state of ill helped him to get out of the country by persuading some of still pro- Dragonfyeld armed maidens of the Phoenix Squad to go back to the lands of Dragonfyeld. However this plot was noticed, and Mist was pursued. The mission was only brought Mist unharmed, but then the armed maidens who escorted him get in the way and forcefully removed. Fortunately, Mist received an aid from Blizzarave clan and he could escape from the Lucea Plains and the Reamist lands. Only 100 from 2000 armed maidens could make it to the Dragonfyeld lands with Count Mist alive.


�Are you insulting my sister?� asks Lisa angrily.

�No.� said him quickly, �In fact that I am saying the truth. Your sister gave me anything I wanted when I was at Hexagron. It�s just that� I don�t want to sacrifice many lives just to get home. Sorry� Hexagron is not where I belong��

Lisa sighed back, says �Because of it, we are now called as �the forbidden sibling�� Does it bother you, Mist?�

�Indeed not, sister.� Said him with a tone of warmth, �You�ve taught me a lot of things, what I couldn�t learn in this royal environment� It�s just a little weird that we met��

�Battle of Forty-Forth Erevia� you saved me back then. But as time grows I realize, isn�t it strange we have so many similarities? �This, for example.� She said, pointing her left eye.

It is certainly odd, her left and right eye have different colors. Her right eye is a normal, brown-colored eye. But her left eye, it shines like ruby in the dark. It is a flashing, and reflecting red eye.

Mist also has the same peculiarity. Instead of his girlish, beautiful face but masculine appearance, his long silver hair matches with his gray-colored right eye. But an unusual blue, sapphire-lighted colored his left eye.

Mist nods, �This may be the main reason why we called as a �sibling�. But I don�t agree the �forbidden� suffix. It bothers me well� I am just hoping that one day we could be a real sibling, by any way��

�I wonder when I could see you find a bride.� She said, with an insulting tone.

Mist faintly laughs.

�This cursed face won�t let me.� He said, his finger pointing at his face, �However I will remain as a man because that is I am. I realized that I have no moustache or something like that. But at least my appearance is manly. It shows me that I am a man.�

�Well, see how pessimistic you are... You will have it soon, don�t worry about that.� said her, cheering Mist up.

Mist smiled again, �Since it is my sister who said that, I have no option but to believe.�



He rises from his seat, gave Lisa a little glance, and walks to the door.

�Go to sleep already, sis.� He said, with a kind voice, �Have a good rest.�

He opens the door, and swiftly closes it as soon as he gets out.

After Mist�s step sounds are gone. She could feel a sleepy atmosphere is all over her. Summoning her to the dream world�

It's good, but now you need to organize. My suggestion to you is that the Prologue should be more of an historical account. There are many battles and places and items that should be discussed due to their repetition within the first chapter and, I'm sure, their importance later on in the story. I like your dialog, it's simple and it quickly defines the characters. Now you just need to add a little description of the main characters either when you first introduce them into the story, or in the prologue. For basics, it's definitely workable. It's solid.

Should I post the true Prologue, or just let the prologue in the previous page?

Sure. I'll read it. =^^=

Re-Prologue: The Deserted Dream
(Another Note: This is not perfected yet as this written a long time ago, the perfected is written in my book.)


“Where am I?”

The girl whispers, she found herself into a massive group of blue-armed soldiers. Rising crescent moon and dragon-imaged flags are everywhere. The massive horde marching ahead before stopped.

The atmosphere is very catastrophic, awful ambience coming from the air, a smell of war. The girl can feel it as she grabs a heavy sword with her hand, with the same thing happens to other people of the group.

On the other side, rise a yellow-background star flags. Another group of soldiers came with different color of armor. The meaning of this in a war: There are lies in the other force, the opposite of the force with crescent flag.

They stand in an expression of alert. Everything is in formation; positions are arranged quickly and carefully. No unnecessary behavior that available to be seen… a view of landscape of war.

Soon, the only sound that presented is only the sounds of blowing winds, carrying some sands off the ground. The unkind sun keeps shining boldly, burning everything in the desert.

Both of the sides remain silent, before a noise comes from a full-armed girl in the front. She turns her horse to the blue-armed soldiers, and then raises the crescent flag, shouting loudly:

“Those who oppose the empire shall be exterminated!”

The soldiers shout back, rising their weapons. Then hit it to the ground. A song suddenly singed, the crescent flag rises highly again. The full-armed girl comes to the center of the battlefield. At that time another horsed man goes the same way.

When they meet in the same point, they get off their horses, and then start their conservation.

“Eva Granarus Reamist, Phoenix Squad of Dragonfyeld Empire.” Said the girl, yelling loudly.

The man replies, “Edward Edna Rafael, The Condor Unit of Forty-Forth Erevia.”

“Surrender at once. The emperor may spare your and your army’s life… Don’t tell me you prefer to slain here?”
The man shows unlikely face.

“You seem quite brave for a young girl… How could you lead this massive army while you are not very experienced? I suggest you and your army join our forces to defeat Dragonfyeld’s* reign of evil.” Said the man.

The girl shows a hating face, and says a tone of angry voice “Insulting the emperor and the royal family is an unpardonable crime. This battlefield shall be your end of destiny. So prepare yourself.”

The horses of them run back to their respective sides. When they are settled, the scream of the horns in the two sides stretch the desert. In other words, the battle has begun.

The side with yellow flag raises flag with arrows. That is, however. Makes the full-armed girl laughed piercingly. She raises her right hand, saying, “How stupid of them to use archers before I command the lines forward… Order to defend!”

The side with crescent flag raises shield-image ensign. The blue armored soldiers lift their shields at once. At the same time by a rain of venomous arrow heading their way. However, there is no victim fell.

Once again, the other side raises the arrow-image flag. Lines of archer get in their set. The reaction of the girl is the same, “Are they wasting their arrows? Maintain defend position!”

Another rain of arrows comes towards the other side. Yet, it misses all over the place and ended on the desert’s ground. After sure there are no arrows left in the sky, the girl raises her left hand.

As the left hand rises. A flag of arrows like the other side used appears in the higher ground. Lines of blue-armored archer promptly lined up and raise their bow. When the arrows ready to shoot, a soldier line burns them.

Alongside the rain of burning arrows. The yellow-flag side stunned. That unfortunately makes them have to pay the price. A panic situation immediately emerges after the rain of burning arrows hit the grounds. The lines between the crumbled instantly.

“Who is inexperienced, now.” Said the girl with a wide smile, raising her right hand highly.


______

* Dragonfyeld is the name of an empire which conquered the entire “world”, however as time goes by. The royal family has several problems to control such vast lands. Many of the folks suffer and some of them finally rebel to get an independent land of their own.

On the higher ground, a flag of horse image appears. The blue-armored cavalry appears from behind. At the same time, the yellow-flag army raises a javelin-image flag. Then the front lines of the yellow army side began to march forward.


Despite of the cavalry’s minor number. The lines of yellow-flagged army wither quickly, as they destroyed by the run of horses, crashing them alive. The screaming of pain are everywhere in the desert.

The crescent-flagged side raises a flag with heart image. The cavalry understands, they quickly retreated back to the higher grounds. Hastily after they are in position, the full-armed girl raises both of her hands.

Two flags appear on the higher ground of the crescent-flagged side. One is a arrow-image and one a javelin-image. As soon as the flags rise, the blue-armored front lines march forward as the archers setting another rain of arrows.

The yellow-flagged side has no chance to regroup, makes them have to settle everything that available. A sword-image flag rises on the yellow-flagged side, as all of the yellow-armored soldiers march forward at once.

The full-armed girl smiled in victory. The burning rain of arrows collapsed the lines of the yellow-armored soldiers directly. Making the front-liner only does the dirty job: Finishing the remnants of the soldiers.

After ensuring the yellow-flagged force has defeated. The leader of the yellow-flagged army was forcibly summoned. It is a very usual ceremony in the end of a battle: a leader execution.

“…You think an Erevian* General like you could beat an Executor* like me?” said the girl with a tone of conquest. She mounted off her horse and come over the man, cruelly lashes him out.

“Why you--- Emperor’s lapdog! Your wicked sovereign with your land shall later punish by the god…!” shrieked the man.

Eva angrily swings her right hand. Just as she does, two hooded men with a very large axe appear. Without any more words, the hooded men swing the axe to the Erevian leader.

The Erevian leader fell down, died.
__________
* Erevia: a military organization of Dragonfyeld Empire, however in this case. The empire is currently fighting an Erevia which rebels it.
Executor: The highest rank of Dragonfyeld Military, or, the same as the grand general of all Generals. They marked with a bronze crescent moon pendant. Only 100 positions of them exist.


She swings her right hand again, and then turns around. The soldiers immediately remove the leader’s body. When Eva removes her helmet, the soldier girl asks.

“Don’t you think it is heartless?”

“Mercy is for the weak,” replied her, staring at the soldier girl. “I suppose that you have learned it in the military camp, sister. Maybe I should send you to an Erevia after this battle… He was insulting the Empire anyway, isn’t it a mistake to take him down?”

The soldier girl shows an expression of disagreement, but instead of arguing, the girl prefers to change the conservation’s direction, “I am afraid we have our arrows running out.”

“Send a messenger and 50 soldiers to the main camp,” said her, walking by the girl then look over the hills, “There is no mistake that enemies have send scouts to our main camp. Request a backup of soldiers, since it is too risky to let our arrows fall to the enemy on the way here.”

But before the girl calls the messenger, another messenger appears. He comes on their front and moves his hand to his chest as a salute, “My salute to The Grand Executor of Phoenix Squad, Eva Granarus Reamist.”

“What message you have for me?”

The messenger hands over a gray colored scroll. Eva opens it swiftly and read it aloud.

Greetings,

Grand Executor of Phoenix Squad, We were just received a message from the capital that the Emperor and 10,000,000 number of reinforcements are going this way. You are requested to be the welcome team, please withdraw yourself and one third of your army immediately. Create a fresh unit with direction of Forty-Forth Erevian east gate. Send also another one third to the main camp. Adel Southesky’s unit has returned to the main camp with a awfully horrific condition, we presume that this is caused by an ambush settled somewhere in the Forty-Forth Erevian Southern Gate. Since we know that your unit is entirely armed maidens*, we believe that we need them here as medical personnel. Please do it straight away after your received this message.

Rei Holyhealer
Medical First Executor ~ Second Erevia Unit
________

* Armed maiden is not literally a maid. It is a word to describe normal “female soldiers” instead of lady guard that usually used by consorts or empresses.


“It looks like the main camp is in a major problem.” Said Eva, cannot hide her discontent, “You’ll lead one third of the army, lead them to the eastern gates. I have to go to welcome the emperor. Instruct one third other to go to the main camp immediately.
Oh, and don’t march along the southern routes. I’ve just got news that Adel’s unit have eliminated since ambushes and traps appears there... I’ll take my leave now.” Said her, mount her horse and shouts, “one third”, signaling one third of the soldiers to follow her right away, and then she disappeared.

The girl named Lisa, asks a maiden next to her, “Hey, lady. Which is this unit’s executor assistant?”

The armed maiden answers, “I am sorry, madam. But the assistant person you asked by coincidence is me.”

“Oh, I see…” said Lisa, “What is your name?”

“It is Freya Lanford, madam. Second Erevian First Sector Leader.”

“You seem quite young…” said her; curiously look over Freya, “You reminding me of older sister Eva… Do you know her well?”

The armed-maiden responses, “Yes, Executor Eva and I were childhood friends. Before Executor Eva was disappeared 14 years ago from our village. I somehow meet her before the battle starts, about two weeks ago.”

“So, then. Please give me the army’s current status… Our force, I mean.”

“The Force of Dragonfyeld Empire is a joint force of the Dragonfyeld’s kingdom federation. The existing soldiers that already arrived to the battle are approximately 2,500,000 troops. 25% are from the Erevia, 25% from Deepblue family, 20% from Reamist clan, 15% from Southesky family, 15% from Westwind family, 5% from Blizzarave clan and 5% from the Empire. For reinforcements, the numbers of personnel are approximately 10,000,000 troops. 10% from Reide family, 10% from Lunarsphere Family, 10% from Cranefira family, 10% from Sterd family, 10% from Leonhart family and 50% from the empire.”

“Our weapons and supplies?”

“Yes, we have carefully set these in this battle.” Said her, “The Empire brought 50,000 tons of grain, 1,000,000 barrels of water, 10,000 kinds of herbs, and 5,000,000 kilograms of materials. Meanwhile for the weapons are 10,000,000 of arrows and bows, 5,000,000 swords, 5,000,000 shields, 2,000,000 crossbows, and 5,000,000 javelins.”

“Our current status?”

The armed-maiden stop to catch a breath, and continues, “We have one third of Executor Eva’s troops. That is about 166,666 armed-maidens. 10,000 are cavalries, 25,000 are archers, and the rest are normal position soldiers. We have a total about of 9,000 swords, 12,000 javelins, 12,000 shields, 1,500 arrows and bows, 100 barrels of water and 100 kinds of herb left. About the arrows… should we send a request of supplies immediately?”

Lisa nods shortly.

“That reminds me… Send a request for water, herbs and, arrows supplies. Call the messenger right away.”

Freya proved to be concerned, “Pardon my reason, but wouldn’t it better to leave it by the soldiers? Ever since they are going that way. I suppose they could carry the message by safer way.”

“If my sister is here, she would say the same thing as I am…” answers Lisa “Why? Because it draws too many attentions, any possibilities may happen. Should we take the worst, the soldiers may fall into a trap or an ambush. If it goes that way, the message would never be delivered. So I am certain that small group would be the best for these kinds of condition… Messengers naturally could escape quickly, anyway.”

Freya claps briefly, smiles, “You are indeed a Reamist clan. 15 years old girl but already knows stratagems well.”

“Thank you… Shouldn’t we leave now? The enemy army may occurs anytime by now… no time to lose, I guess.” Said her, pointing a hill by their north.

“Please just give the signal to the soldiers and go ahead. I will take this letter to the messenger.” Said Freya, her right hand shows a green scroll. “I will be joining the army later, since I should go to the main camp by myself. I will be there with the main camp’s supply guards.”

Lisa nods, then mount Freya’s horse. She raises the crescent flag to indicate the army to march right away.

They head to the hill that Lisa pointed. A normal march, no sign of ambushes of traps. Even she sometimes has to mound off her horse and check if there is really trap or not. When they about to reach the peak. Lisa saw a band of Forty-Forth Erevian heading south. They cannot see Lisa’s army, but Lisa orders to charge.

She shouts, “Charge!” . This is really startled the enemy army. The commander of the army has only little time to switch the direction. However, they managed to complete it by the time Lisa’s army step on the new battleground.


As Lisa’s sneak attack detected. They have no choice to make a typical battle. Just like what her sister did. The enemy understood that Lisa is going to discuss about the terms as their commander came to the center of the battlefield. When they settled, the dialogue starts.

“Lisa Amadeus Reamist, Dragonfyeld Empire’s Phoenix Squad Shard Leader.”

“Icarus Evarade Saraver, Forty-Forth Erevian Crane Unit.”

Lisa shows a face of doubt because she was having nothing to discuss. But she came up with something. “Please just surrender, I suppose the emperor’s kind heart could show mercy to the life of you and your army… I hate bloodshed, anyway.”

“Lady, to tell you the truth. This is the first time I heard such generous words from a Dragonfyeld officer.” Said him, remove his javelin to a standby position. “Dragonfyeld officers usually use threatening or demoralizing word to discuss a term. Say, lady… If you don’t mind to answer. How old are you?”

“15 years old.” Answered her shortly.

“I see. You have a very exceptional talent if you could lead such massive army with that age of yours. Plus, you’re just in an age of a girl… Battlefield is no place for women; women should enjoy the time of peace and let men handle the dirty job.”

Lisa smiles, “I am well aware of that. But I have taken my own way of life.”

“You still have a long way to go… I’ll just say that we both should just withdraw. Couldn’t you see that my army is almost twice of yours?”

Lisa surprised, she just realize that the army is larger then what she saw on the peak before. She couldn’t calculate it back then. And now she just realizes that she is now in a hard position.

‘What will sister do if she finds such condition?’

“So?” asked Icarus.

“Tell me, sir.” Answered her, instead of answering Icarus’s question “Why do you fight? Forty-Forth Erevia was an important place for Dragonfyeld Empire. If you could stop this madness… I am sure anything could be back as it used to.”

“I am sorry, but I couldn’t surrender to Dragonfyeld. We fight here for independent. And this is all we got.”



“So do me… I cannot withdraw from a fight. So then, we should settle this right away.” Said her, removes her sword from Icarus “May the god be with you.”

“So do you, young lady.” Said him, moves his hand to his shoulder as a respect. Then head back to his side.

All happens again, Lisa’s army take a step back before the hill. The yell of war horns spread all over the place. The crescent moon flag rising in Lisa’s side with a song of hymn. Then the first flag arise.

The opposite side raises a javelin-imaged flag; the front-liner of yellow-armed soldiers immediately march forward. Lisa become confused, she knows normally Forty-Forth Erevian unit used archers as an opening. Puzzled, she orders to raise the archer’s flag.

The flag of arrows arises; archers lined up and shoot the new rain of arrows. It makes the front-liner of the opposite force crumbled a bit. But Lisa suddenly recognizes that she had done something fatal. The arrows supply is out. She just reminded by that she hasn’t received the supply and there is no sign of other marching ally nearby. The archer option is exposed

The opposite suddenly shows an arrow-imaged flag. The archers are in place and another rain of arrows falling. In normal circumstances, Lisa would order the army to defend. Unfortunately the front-line of the enemy have reached her area and an open combat couldn’t be avoided. Have no time to shield, some of the soldiers received damage of the poisonous arrows.

She has no choices but to charge, the sword-imaged flag arises and the entire army goes forward. But the army is outnumbered; it is just count of minutes before they lose. In the same time another arrow-image flag arises on the Forty-Forth Erevian side. The rain of arrows is reaching her...

Out of the blue, a swing of a sword prevents the arrow from reaching Lisa’s heart. Lisa opens her eyes and found there are men soldiers; another unit has come to an aid. As she found that the sword swinger is right next to her.

“You…?”

It is a person that cannot be explained, whether a male or a female. The person has an extremely gorgeous and beautiful face. But then the person uses men armor.

“Wake up, will you?” said the person.

Lisa startled with the ‘out-of-the-topic’ words, and when she blinked. She found herself lying on a bed…

That's amazing!!! It's well written! I still think you need some sort of history of the battles preceding as well as important places. It'll help out the readers understand how everything takes place as well as set up the story. So it'll be intro (history), prologue (set-up), Ch.1 (where we are now)...it's a good mold, no?

Well, kinda of that.
We haven't proceed to chapter 2 yet.

Chapter 1 - The Forbidden Siblings (Part 2)

“Sister… It’s time to wake up.”

Lisa opens her eyes.

It is Mist. But he is not in his calm expression; in fact he is really nervous. Cold sweat is all over him. His voice cannot hide his uneasiness, he is also shaking. Lisa could feel his tremble when he touches her to wake up.

“Gee, what happened to you?” said her, looking to Mist’s eye, “It looks like you are just seeing a ghost…”

“Cloud…” said him, his voice is trembling, “I could feel his aura suddenly in my tower! That bastard must be tracking us all the way… we should leave quickly or the entire capital will after us!”

“You mean your younger brother, Cloud? Why you are so nervous about him? Are you scared of him?”

Mist grabs Lisa’s hand, helping her to wake up and quickly took her to the door. Swiftly, but silently closes the door again. Then he answers, “In normal circumstances, no.”

“Then why?”

“It is because you are with me, sis!” he said, running like they were really pursued, “I couldn’t say a word to your sister when you captured here… What should I say to her? That bastard is a terrifying assassin that could capture you anytime, so watch it!”

Mist takes Lisa to run very fast. Lisa could feel cold atmosphere as she steps thru large corridors of Mist’s tower. The gentle light of moon and torches are only the light that guided them.



Lisa takes it easily; but not Mist. She could find that Mist’s hand is as wet as his entire body. He sometimes uncomfortably opens some doors but then quickly closed it again. Sometimes he swears about his brother approaching to them.

After taking down few fatiguing stairs [which done by very quickly either], they made it to the tower entrance. Mist has to walk with very small, ridiculously steps when he crosses any soldier, hiding Lisa behind his back (Lisa is both smaller and shorter than him, so it is possible to hide her as long as they are not walking).

Even they walks very fast, Lisa could view the scene of the garden of Dragonfyeld palace. Few weird lights inside crystal ball sometimes can be seen, illuminating various orderly-positioned flowers and plants. Sound of falling water accompanies their steps and fireflies soaring on the entire garden.

“If I had the time--- and the situation” said him, quickly and half-whispering “I think I will take your for a tour. This garden is very amazing at night… see these fireflies? Watch them carefully.”

He is right, the fireflies light is not red: but blue. It lights also that actually fills the crystal balls, making it really shining and scenic definitely. It is just like a copy of the blue moon that shining on the skies of Dragonfyeld lands.

The fireflies and the blue moon itself are now a very rare view to Lisa. In her lands, the moon is crimson-colored. In some lands the moon are yellow-colored. It’s the first time she could feel so many blue lights illuminating her.

“Enjoy it? The sound of water makes me calm when I am training…”

Lisa nods shortly.

“Unfortunately it is no use now, since now we are in a rushing state…”

They made it to another large gate. The gate has no door: that was Lisa first thought, but the doors actually hidden in large gates behind thick walls of the castle’s fortress walls.

They enter another giant corridor. The scrolls of Dragonfyeld symbols decorate every 100 inches of the walls: Along with torches that show someone’s shadow.

“Someone’s here… hide, quick!”

It is a Dragonfyeld soldier. It appears that he is currently patrolling in the area, since he is carrying a lantern with him. The lantern lights as the crystal lights in the garden.


The soldier saw Mist, but he doesn’t look any surprised, maybe because he doesn’t see Lisa yet.

“Well, good night to you. Count Mist.” Said him, moves his hand to his shoulder, “You are still training in these hours? Please don’t restrain yourself.”

Mist breathes normally as a relief, but then the soldier says something that makes him speechless.

The soldier says: “Count Mist, we actually have increased our guards due to the rumors saying that the renegade Executor Lisa is somewhere in the palace… Have you seen her somewhere, I wonder? We afraid that her propose is taking you back to the Reamist Lands.”

“That’s absurd--- I- I knew Executor Lisa well… so I think she won’t appear in these hours… W--- Why she is after me anyway? We have no--- um--- problems or something like that… uh---”

The soldiers sharpen his eye, indicating he is suspicious of something.

“Count Mist, you seem like have been chased by someone.”

“Nonsense, someone like me will never run away from anyone.” Said him, looking to regain his pride by increases his voice [just for protection, of course].

But the soldiers sharpen his eye even more; he looks like more wary about it.

“I wonder if you know where her is, Count Mist.”

“I have no idea!” said him, half-shouting.

“Fine.” Said him, looks like he is also afraid about Mist shouting, “I am sorry to warn you by such words, but if you hiding her, consider what kind of punishment the family will bestow you. Some soldiers are looking for you to ask permission to check on your room.”

“I understand about that risk. Please just dismiss, I have to do something… confidential to do.” Said him faintly, and then quickly walks away. But he made a mistake.

As he walks away, he reveals Lisa. The soldier stunned for some moments before he realizes that Lisa is running away with the Count already. He promptly called any guards that by coincidence patrolling in that area.



A sudden tremor of rush awakening the Palace. The nighttime breaks as sound of bell reach all over the halls. The guards switched and hastily search all over the rooms. This force Mist to run even faster, but Lisa can’t keep up, panicking in such a situation; Mist picks a random room to hide.

However they are not alone.

“Shoot.” said him shortly, looking behind with fear, “It is grandmother’s room…”

He is right, an old lady standing before them…

This is pro work! I'm enjoying this immensely! It seems you don't need any help to get this thing goin. I'd be lucky to be on the special mention credits at the very end of the game! ::laughs::

This is pro work! I'm enjoying this immensely! It seems you don't need any help to get this thing goin. I'd be lucky to be on the special mention credits at the very end of the game! ::laughs::

Thanks.

We'll just have to let rockford see. Anyway Fujiwara haven't posted the skills I would like to see. So I just post the next chapter tomorrow.

Anyway maybe another shriner would like to criticize them...

Cliffhanger...

I'll hold off til tomorrow.

Anyway Fujiwara haven't posted the skills I would like to see.


Sorry, I read 'em and I was thinking what kind of skills suit this and now here you go:

Lisa Reamist (Main Element: Fire, Second Element: Light):


Lighten – Learned at N/A

Restores 10% of an unit HP
Spends 50 AP

Transmit – Learned at Level 10

Restores 25% AP/NP of an unit with a cost of 5% Lisa’s HP
Spends 5% HP

Fire – Learned at N/A

Burns enemies, have 80% possibility of 1% damage to enemy HP and 20% possibility of 2% damage to enemy HP
Spends 100 AP

Terran Fire – Learned at Level 15

Burns an enemy with blue fire, deals 2000 or 5000 damage, have potential to burn 50% of enemy’s AP/NP.
Spends 175 AP

Sacred Blaze - Learned at Level 20

Heal 50% of a unit’s HP or deal 9999 damage to any undead unit, heals enemy if the enemy is not an undead.
Spends 200 AP

Rageholic – Learned at Level 25

Burn Lisa’s sword, making it 20% more powerful in any direct hit, but drains 5 AP and 1 HP every 10 seconds. Press triangle to deactivate.
Spends 50 AP

Phoenix’s Inferno – Learned at Level 30

Burn all enemies. Deal up to 25000 damages (depends on user’s level). Potentially awakes fainted allies. Use it wisely, the Phoenix might sick of helping you all the time.
Spends 200 AP - CAN ONLY USED THREE TIMES IN ONE BATTLE

Tears of the Sun – Learned at Level 35

Damage both enemies’ HP and AP by 1000 or 10000. But it might deals damage 20000 hit to allies that has primary element of water (Sieghard or James).
Spends 375 AP

Angel’s Glance – Learned at Level 40

Stun enemies for 10 seconds, meanwhile recovering Lisa’s allies and her HP by 100 every second. When the enemy stop stunned, the movement speed of enemy will reduced by half for 30 seconds.
Spends 400 AP

Dragon Slayer – Learned at Level 45

Heavily deals damage (Up to 25000 HP damage) to any Dragon type unit, or any Dragonfyeld family member and soldiers, might cause stun, poison, or burn status to the target, at a cost of Lisa’s HP.
Spends 5000 HP

Fiery Spirit – Learned at Level 50

Hasten the target’s movement and attack speed up to 100%, cast is ineffective for any primary water-element unit (Doesn’t work to Sieghard or James). Drains HP by 100 every second if used to water-element unit, lasts 10 minutes.
Spends 350 AP

Burning Wind – Learned at Level 55

Calls forth a gust of blistering wind, hurts enemies and allies by 50 per second. But some damages will reduced for allies. Any air-elemental or fire-elemental unit will not be harmed. It will cost extra HP for any water-elemental unit (100 HP damage per second). During Burning Wind period (5 Minutes), any water-elemental moves effect is stopped and will not able to cast. Air-element ally is required to cast Burning Wind (Ralph or Henry)
Spends 500 AP

Shatter Flame – Learned at Level 60

Disable enemy’s weapon by set it on fire, making the enemy unable to launch any physical attack for 1 minute. But will regenerate the enemy’s AP/NP swiftly, able to cast to allies.
Spends 300 AP




Limit – Holy Intervention

Awakes any fainted allies. Fully replenish HP and MP of all units. Gives all positive status such as Haste, Immunity and Regeneration for 5 minutes.



Farah Phantom (Lisa Reamist – 2nd and 3rd Chapter)
(Main Element: Darkness, Second Element: Fire):

Important note: When Lisa Reamist turns to Farah Phantom. Any previous light-elemental moves (Such as Lighten, Transmit, Sacred Blaze, Phoenix’s Inferno and Angel’s Glance) will unavailable.

Bloodstrike – Learned at N/A

Sacrifice 10% of user’s blood to make a critical hit (Up to 30000) to enemy, works better to any light-elemental unit.
Spends 10% HP

The Cherry Moon of Corruption – Learned at N/A

Transform Farah into a powerful winged demon for five minutes. During this period Farah will be granted by 25000 additional temporary AP. Farah’s attack, movement and cast speed will arise dramatically (200%). However, after launching any move attacks. Farah will damage herself and a Light-Elemental ally (Rei) as a sacrament for the tripled dark-elemental moves (5000 Damages every moves). When The Cherry Moon of Corruption is activated, any healing movements (Except Blaze of Impurity), Light-Elemental Moves (Not applies for Sakura, Lisa [Dragonfyeld], Lutheve, and Raquel) and items will be disabled until Farah comes back to the original form. The Cherry Moon of Corruption will enchant the speed of the Limit - Extermination of Crimson Moon.
Spends 1000 AP

Crimson Sacrament – Learned at N/A

Strikes and damages 50% HP of an ally to heal 75% of Farah’s HP and AP plus Haste and Evasion status.
Spends 700 AP

Blaze of Impurity – Learned at Level 72

Heal 40% of a unit’s HP or deal 9999 damage to any light-elemental unit, heals enemy if the enemy is a dark-elemental unit, might have side effects, like Blind or Fear status.
Spends 1000 AP




Voices Silently Sing – Learned at Level 80

Makes Farah bleed and then sing a terrifying spell (55 seconds of casting time). Making the enemy takes 200% damage with any dark-elemental moves. Also brings enemy to the poorest level of morale, reducing its physical attack plus Fear status (50% miss of any physical and magic attack)
Spends 50% HP

Soul Union – Learned at Level 83

Divides damage that received by Farah by four and allocates it to allies, Farah only received 25% of total damage as other allies does, lasts 5 Minutes.
Spends 925 AP


Red Bloodstrike – Learned at Level 89

Damages 20% of all allies HP to deal critical hit (up to 50000) to enemies.
Spends 1000 AP

Dark Smile – Learned at Level 95

Makes one of enemies defect to Farah’s side (uncontrollable), does not work to Bosses, non-human and Light-Elemental Unit.
Spends 100 AP - CAN ONLY USED ONE TIME IN ONE BATTLE

Black Extermination – Learned at Level 100

Damages 25% of enemies’ HP and disables up to 95% targets’ MP for 5 Minutes, but at cost of Farah’s 75% HP and AP.
Spends 75% HP and AP – CAN ONLY USED ONE TIME IN ONE BATTLE, UNABLE TO CAST IF EXTERMINATION OF CRIMSON MOON HAVE BEEN USED IN THE BATTLE.

Limit – Extermination of Crimson Moon

Damages 50% of enemies’ HP and disables up to 100% targets’ MP for 7 Minutes, but at cost of Farah’s 95% HP and 100% AP. Also causes Slow, Fear and Poison Status.
Spends 95% HP and 100% AP
THIS LIMIT CAN ONLY USED ONCE IN THE SAME BATTLE,
LIMIT DISABLED IF BLACK EXTERMINATION HAVE CASTED IN THE BATTLE




That's just for Lisa/Farah. If you think is good, I will think for another chara.

Basically the Battles are just like SW/DW

I enjoy RPGs, and I've played a fair few, but what's SW/DW? What type of battle system does it have?

Can you post a screenshot of what this should look like, so I can mock up a demo of the system?

Remember, that I am a coder only - graphic work will have to be done by somebody else. I produce graphics for my own games, but never for a project as grand as this.

I enjoy RPGs, and I've played a fair few, but what's SW/DW? What type of battle system does it have?

Can you post a screenshot of what this should look like, so I can mock up a demo of the system?

Remember, that I am a coder only - graphic work will have to be done by somebody else. I produce graphics for my own games, but never for a project as grand as this.


A screenshot of DW/SW





Remember, that I am a coder only - graphic work will have to be done by somebody else.

Hmmm.... this is going to be a problem. We should search someone who able to create graphics well. Someone should create a thread for it.

Well, you're the one who able to code so we'll leave the coding for you.

We need a graphical designer....



However, here is it:
(Note: same like above)


Chapter 2: Fading Haze (Part 1)

“Grandmother…”

The old lady stares to them, but she doesn’t create any expression that related to surprise or something like that. She even gives Lisa a smile of warmth, meanwhile Mist; he is still trembling in shock.

“Well… if it is not young Lady Lisa?” she said, welcoming them, “What are you doing in these resting hours, I wonder? Oh-- and try to stop shaking, Mist. You are now just looks absolutely like a scared adolescent girl.”

Mist cannot help it. Instead of that, he feebly sits on a chair near him. In the meantime, Lisa greets Mist’s grandmother, yet with a little frightened tone

“Madam Rosemary--- g-good night to you.”

The old lady responds softly, “You should not be so frightened, Lady Lisa. This old lady is not capable of hurting you… Besides, I do not think it is wrong to visit a friend… But…”

Madam Rosemary sits on her chair, and then asking Lisa to sit down.

“Is it not a very horrific idea to visit in such state of affairs?”

Lisa cannot answer, so Mist came up with it.

“I just--- I mean we just can’t help it.” He said, seemed have managed stabilizing his voice previously, “We’ve been so close for some of these years of blood recently. Both of us saving either of our lives… Sort of things --- give and receive. You’ll understand... This crazy strife between our families has nothing to do with relationship. Don’t you think the same way, Grandmother?”

Madam Rosemary laughs gently, “You know Mist. Even time grows, but it looks like you’re still my guiltless, little grandson… You came back to the palace and left, came back again, then left again. You are not a person that loves to stay home.”

Mist doesn’t give a response.

Rosemary rises up, opens the castle door, “Lady Lisa, I will order someone to move the attention of chasing you into another confusion. Meanwhile you and Mist could run into palace’s stable and flee.” Said her quietly.


But when the words done, someone knocking the door.

“Perhaps, it is the soldiers… you both should hide.”

Maybe because they often play hide and seek well, they could find a good hiding spot in no tome. Meanwhile Rosemary opens the door, with time-wasting method. She waits some minute passes before she finally opens the door.

“Madam Rosemary, good night to you.”

The old lady answers with faked-angry tone, “Good night to you either, soldier… I hope you’ve got a good explanation to bother resting hours of an old lady, cannot you see the clock?”

“I am aware of that, Madam.” Said the soldier quickly, cannot hide his fear, “It is just that we believe we saw Count Mist hiding Executor Lisa for some reason. We afraid that Executor Lisa is here for an infiltration or taking Count Mist to the Reamist lands.”

“If your assumption is true. Then why it is Count Mist that hiding Executor Lisa? What happened should be the opposite… Perhaps they just happen to do some meeting, since they were close friends before the accident happen.” Said her.

“Perhaps it is right, but meeting with an enemy is prohibited.”

“That is absurd; it is one of human rights to meet one of your companions.”

The soldiers looks like baffled, before answers “Madam Rosemary… I’m afraid I cannot draw to arguing with you. It violates my codes as a soldier and we don’t have much period before Executor Lisa escaped.”

“So what summoned you here?”

“We suppose that you know where they are going, Madam Rosemary.”

“Is not it obvious?” said her, the anger tone is no longer faked, “I do not have any idea regarding of those two. Who on the earth will mess around in these dark hours anyway? This conservation is over. It is thirty minutes pass twelve and both Mist and Lisa probably away by now, so you should get your sleep.”

The soldier have no chance to answer, Rosemary quickly closed the door.

Some moments later, sound of footsteps disappears, signaling that the soldier may be gone. Rosemary indicates Lisa and Mist to out of their hiding spot, and quickly opened the door.


“Now is your chance. There will be no soldiers dare enough to cross this part for some moments. It should buy you time. Now quickly, pass the main hall. Once you passed it, freedom is yours.”

Mist gently signals Lisa to escape, and then follow her to get out of the room. Before he closes the door, he has the time to say a word to his grandmother.

“Thank you, grandmother.”

He could see her kind smile before her image disappeared as the door shut. Without wasting time, he guides Lisa to a very grand stairs. Lisa could understand what room beyond. It is the main hall that Rosemary mentioned before.

Before long, the images of Dragonfyeld palace’s main hall get into her vision. She could recognize it is as a square, enormous room, much larger than Mist’s room. It decorated with ordered outsized, chilling empty armors with thousands of candle light and the same hanging rug with the symbol of Dragonfyeld. It is just she found that the symbol is not all the same.

She was a Dragonfyeld soldier, so she could understand the meaning of it. Dragonfyeld generally have a symbol: a crescent moon. Another image that lies in the center of the crescent moon’s empty spot was the symbols of Dragonfyeld shard’s family*, and Reamist was one of them.

She could find the wall spot that Reamist family’s symbol rug was hanged is now empty, as she cannot find a sun-imaged crescent moon symbol on everyplace in the hall. The symbols of every crescent represent the families that very noble and a part of the Royal family itself, so she could find herself rather dismay seeing this, since she was the one that contribute a lot to the Empire.

“I cannot see any Reamistian symbol…”

“What do you expect?” Said Mist, half-heated, “I don’t know what happened to your sister… I think she is mad enough to declare independence from the Empire. Even now I cannot believe that once-loyal maiden is now an opposing empire queen.”

“You are still trembling.”

Mist requires a very long time to respond, and he responds it when they just about get passed the hall. “Don’t switch the topic.”

________________________

Dragonfyeld Family Shard: Describes a family that already a part of the main royal family. The family is noble enough so they could rule their own lands with a special autonomy below the empire. The families once described by Freya in Prologue Chapter.

He seemed unhappy by any case. It is true that he is not trembling anymore, but he is still sweating. Lisa, for example have to spin her brain many times before she could understands what happened in the royal family. Is it very lethal so even anyone could sweat if stuck in condition like this?

Finally, the main hall is over. Mist is about opens the palace grand entrance, when suddenly he stopped, alertly move his head back. Lisa could feel his tremble again, as he draws his sword out of the blue.

The atmosphere is very strange yet choking. Lisa couldn’t feel presence of anyone near them, but Mist stopped suddenly. It appears that something happened, or he could feel someone.

“It looks like… we are a little too late.” Said him, his voice is starting to shake again.

A man appears from nowhere. He dresses very strange, black colored and looks like very bendy. When Lisa tries to look into his eyes, she found nothing, in fact somehow Lisa’s guts absorbed by his presence.

“err--- Lisa… Meet my brother, Cloud.”

The man doesn’t respond, like he was not hearing anything. His cold eyes gaze into Lisa’s eye. Lisa could suddenly feel like she was stabbed by someone, the cold eyes of him, a very opposite of Mist, and when it comes to a person Mist’s personality contradictory. Lisa know that time she would be must very alert.

“The maids are tired enough to clean the entire palace, sister Mist.” Said him, frigidly, “I suppose the maids will disgust you very much if you keep bringing vermin into this palace.”

“Quit calling me sister!” Mist said, insulted.

The man answers with still silent voice, “Why? You are my sibling, aren’t you? It is natural to call you sister.”

“I comprehend that, thank you.” Said him, louder his tone, “But my gender is male and I don’t think you’ll be supposed to call me sister. So, should you go back to pre-school? I am sure they will teach you some basic lesson about how to call an older, male sibling.”

Lisa could feel a sentiment that this man is very annoying. He talks without seeing the person eyes, and moreover, he addressed her as a vermin. However, she chooses to not taking any actions.


“I can’t see any man inside you. You hold your sword wrong, you know that.”

“I am not here to arguing about my gender, so get lost.” He said, trying to end the conservation.

Cloud quickly responds, “I am taking that vermin with me.”

Lisa could feel Mist sweating more, his sword is also quivering, indicating that a little fear is inside him, but he got enough guts to say, “Why don’t you try to cross me first.”

“Fine.”

It looks like the combat is about to settle. Lisa felt that Cloud is driving Mist very angry. She doesn’t feel Mist trembling anymore; he just looks like extremely insulted plus annoyed.

When it comes to aggravated Mist. Lisa knows she better stay out of it. She saw Mist exterminate a band of outlaw that once ever insulted him just like what Cloud said just a year ago, and she know that he will show no mercy.

Cloud seems waiting Mist to attack, he just stands there, doesn’t make any move. Meanwhile Mist is the same; he is just stabilizing his sword in alert condition. Both of them don’t make a single move.

Fifteen minutes passed, Mist looks like rather more annoyed than before.

“This will last forever if you don’t attack!”

Cloud doesn’t responding. But the respond came from the upper stair of the main hall.

“What’s the racket?! It is one o’ clock, suckers!”

It came from a teenage lady, standing on the stairs. She looks rather very angry, just as angry as Mist. But since Lisa is girl, she could feel that is a manipulated expression of her.

“What the hell are you doing here, you bothersome, spoiled brat?” said Cloud, suddenly make an irritated voice either, “It is past bed time for a girl like you, go to sleep already!”

Lisa doesn’t really understand what happened. From a short encounter that happened before, she could judge that Cloud is a very skillful yet both cold-hearted and cold-headed bastard. But how could he fell provoked with such a little adolescence?

“You should watch your words to a little girl, jerk!” Mist said, quickly attacks Cloud.

Cloud easily evades the attack, when Mist tries to attack him again…

“Brother Mist, stop it!” said the teenage girl, “I will tell this thing about both of you, and I swear it!”

Mist stopped, either Cloud.

“Think you are smart, you little brat.” Said Cloud, and then gone with a purple haze.

The teenage girl ensures Cloud is no longer in the main hall, and then gets rid of her angry expression, winks her eyes to Lisa, saying “Grandmother told me about this, you should get into the stable quickly… Later, Sister Lisa, Brother Mist!”

She waves shortly as a farewell before she comes back up.

“Good girl, Jesse.” Mist smiles, then opens the door. “Now, we don’t have much time. Off to the stable and we are free, I could feel fresh air waiting me outside! Let us go, now.”

They took not much time until they find the palace’s stable. It is a large building not far from the palace’s main building that decorated with a large statue of silver horse. Not very difficult to estimate even it is the first time Lisa step her feet into the palace.

No signs of guards, that was Mist say. They have enough time to stole a carriage and get out of the capital.

It is not necessary to enter the stable, it seems like someone has settled their escape since there is a driverless carriage waiting out of the building. Mist breathes a sign of relief.

“Get in, sis.” Said him, opens the door. “I will handle this thing.”

Lisa is grateful hearing that, she had a strange night and she feel like she could use more rest.

Mist wears a robe that lies inside the carriage; he could find that it is his grandmother who settles this. And as soon as Lisa gets inside, Lisa could hear a sound of lash, meaning: they are off.

The carriage is shaking, but it doesn’t stop her to the dream world again…






THIS THREAD MAKES ME LAUGH EVEN NOW I STILL LAUGH AND CAN'T CONCENTRATE : Thread 42531

Pretty decent work here, I still don't know what it is you expect me to do though.

Pretty decent work here, I still don't know what it is you expect me to do though.

Repair my work... I mean.
My story must to be a good one... and I guess I need help for you to analyze it...
I also need the other shriner to make a comment about it... But you are the first one in my list. Since you experienced a lot in this forum...

Thnx to Wasshuaddict I get my spirit back on this..

No... I know this is not good enough.
I sent a message to an expert and he says almost all of my work have to be repaired. So I guess I'll PM the only scripts and start converting it from now.

Please just wait... I'll just have to start writing back.

I'm restarting to write the prologue and will give you things about it in about 1-2 weeks.

thanks.

For now I'm afraid I could give you the basic timeline.

Ahh, Dynasty Warriors I presume. Realtime battles then. I presume that Zelda: A Link To The Past would be closer in scope than Dynasty Warriors then, but with more RPG elements?

Ahh, Dynasty Warriors I presume. Realtime battles then. I presume that Zelda: A Link To The Past would be closer in scope than Dynasty Warriors then, but with more RPG elements?

It is just for the battle system. We'll use standard RPG for anything else.

Thank goodness. The expert didn't comment about my story, he just look on the way it is presented. So I guess we can continue on about this. But from the next chapter (the 3rd one) I will only post the timeline which is essential.

However, I hate it when I stop in the halfway




Chapter 2: Fading Haze (Part 2)

�Hey, sis� It is Blackstone Village.�

�Humph?�

�I said, this is Blackstone Village.�

Lisa awakes from her sleep, recognizes Mist, and get up.

She knows that now they are away from the palace. There is no sign of civilization, there is nothing more than large trees and fields of green grass with the cloudless blue fields.

Lisa walks a few steps, and acknowledges the place, Blackstone Village. She is home, they have passed Dragonfyelder-Reamistian border. From the land and beyond, it is her domain.

Lisa signals Mist to follow her.

Silently, they march through bushes ahead of the trees. In not a very long time, the bushes disappear.

�Now this is what I called� beautiful.� Said Mist, stunned.

They arrived to large fields with white flowers everywhere. From afar, it looks like a white carpet covering the field. The good scent of flower accompanies them when they approach.

Mist tries to take one of them, but Lisa stopped him.

�I wouldn�t do that, if I were you.�

�Why?� asked him shortly.

�Those are Whitefalls*.�

�So, Whitefalls are these�� said him, observing the flower for awhile, and then sends it to his pocket. �I never think that deadly flower is this gorgeous. Whatever, I am taking this home.�

Lisa faintly laughs, �You are very reckless, aren�t you brother?�
________________

Whitefalls is a white colored flower that has poisonous spines.



Mist doesn�t reply, he rather sits down and tries to relax himself.

Lisa smiles due to the unanswered question. She sits down then stares Mist.

�What?� asked Mist.

�This is my favorite place; I came here every three years� Back then when I haven�t met my sisters*�� said her, with a little sad tone.

�I�ve never been here before� So I couldn�t understand why this place called as Blackstone Village. I cannot see any people here you know� The only voice available here is just gust of winds and the bird singing.� Said him, looking around, �When we arrived, I tried to find some lodging� but why I can�t find any buildings? And as I said, this place is awfully quiet, and it does bother me.�

Lisa sighs shortly, her tears looks like going to flow.

�Blackstone Village� is eradicated twelve years ago. Back when I was five.�

Mist surprised, she never thought that the real home of Lisa actually has ruined so many years ago. It rather makes him a felt sorry about what he just said. But at least something that was making him wonder answered.

�The white flowers here�� said her, wipes her eyes, �Suddenly appears when the village totally eradicated. Sort of a white force that killed the rebels as a payback. I could saw it with my very own eyes� and that is why I joined the army back then��

Mist, that cannot stand Lisa crying, told her to stop telling the story.

�I don�t like stories that brings bad memories back� so stop it.�

Lisa just nods, but tears are still flowing thru her eyes.

�Hey Mist� I wonder if I could see them again if you don�t save me back then.�

Mist throws his glances out, �Is my effort when I was saved you just a vain?�

�I never said that��

Lisa tries to get rid of her tears, and then continue talking.

________________

* Reamist family�s lineage is never exists. They are actually a group that lost their parents or families in war. Brotherhood and sisterhood of Reamist was created when they meet each other in Dragonfyeld�s army camp. This is why they were the most famous rebel exterminator, because they simple hate them.

�Brother, will you promise me something?�

�What is it?�

Lisa wept her tears for the last time, and then says �I need you to promise me� that you will come here to meet me every one year of this day� please promise.�

Mist smiles faintly, and then reply.

�I promise.�

Lisa replies Mist smile; she could feel that Mist is just like a true brother of her. She just feels like when Mist left Dragonfyeld lands, stay in Hexagron then never come back home. It suits her well. But she knows that she couldn�t be that egoistic.

Unfortunately, something suddenly wept Mist�s smile. And Lisa recognizes that it is not a very good thing.

�Someone is here�� said him, under alert.

He rises and looks behind to the forest.

When he knows what behind him, he takes a step back.

Hundreds of armed maidens are before them, two leading horses are on the front, gazing Mist. He has no idea when they arrived, since it is impossible for them to approach that silently.

�Lisa� it seems that your sister has come to pick you up.�

The red armed-maiden in the front, is Eva. He quickly recognizes her as her stabbing glance tries to get in his mind.

�It is very good to see you again, Count Mist.� Said her with an unrecognizable tone, mount off her horse.

�Err--- Good morning to you, Eva.� Said him, don�t have any idea.

Eva stares with a respectful yet insulting stare, saying �Enjoying my sister?�

�And what is that supposed to mean?� said him, taking another step back.

�You seem that you are now seeing a ghost, Count Mist.� Said Eva, with half-insulting tone.


�Nonsense you know me, Eva.� Said him, put his sword on standby, �By the way, will you tell them to stop pointing those arrows to me? It makes me very� uncomfortable.�

Eva swings her hand, and then the maidens move their bow down.

�You adore her, don�t you?� said Eva, moves her stare to Lisa. �You just don�t have enough guts to say that. Keep that character and you won�t be a true man.�

Mist responds with a bit trembling sound.

�About the question, it is so personal so I couldn�t answer you. Thank you for the advice, anyway.� Said him, takes another two steps back.

He takes another step back more often. After some moments he said something.

�It is good to have a chat with you, but I have to leave� See you.�

Suddenly, an arrow aiming over his right side.

�Oh� I am afraid you are not going anywhere, in other words: you are coming with us.� Said her, points her sword, �Seize him.�

The armed maidens surround Lisa and Mist. Lisa looks into Mist eyes when she could find him sighs, but then smiles to her

�It is a promise.�

Mist mumbles some hard to understand words. After he finished, haze suddenly surround the place in return. Lisa couldn�t see anything, the haze is very thick and anything just looks like fading.

Soon over, when the haze is gone. He is no longer there. Lisa realizes Mist is just gone, even the massive number of maidens cannot see his departure.

This makes Lisa fainted, as she just saw Mist vanished just like a phantom�




Now, from the third I'll just post the timeline...
I am studying graphics so I could make a good graphic.
I am trying for it, but if you have a friend which good at it, please ask him a favor from me..

Please don't stop reading because I'm a new guy at these forums :D
I could just help out with creating some 3d things...

Please don't stop reading because I'm a new guy at these forums :D
I could just help out with creating some 3d things...

Oh. it's that so..?

Fine, please help us.
Could you post your e-mail. In case there is any delays or others...

You guys are really taking this seriously! Good luck with it!

My email adress is [email protected]
I have some experience in creating some 3d levels for some games, and I also made a 3d model of a bridge and a house for school (the bridge got a 9 out of 10 ^^)

No relation to Jelle De Jong by any chance? (sorry spelling may be a bit rusty). He used to be a member on Div Arena? I was a Mod there - Ian Price.

Nope, de Jong is a very often used name in The Netherlands :D

So, whats the deal with this game?

Nope, de Jong is a very often used name in The Netherlands :D

So, whats the deal with this game?

PM him instead...

Sorry guys, I've been inactive lately. There are some things I need to take care of:

1. School has a wave of tests starting last week.
2. I take graphical designing so I come home late
3. No spare time even to connect to the internet.

I will contact you via e-mail when the project is likely to be ready to launched. When the day comes, I shall revive this thread and introduce who'll be assisting us.

Now... it's time for this thread to get into its hibernation...

Of coures. Me and my friend are going to start with flash soon and work our way up the ladder... big ladder.

I'm trying to learn how to be one...wish me luck!

I've always been interested in something like game design, but since I'm not that computer friendly, I don't know anything about programming, but I'm more interested into the character design and art illustrations....

If i have the chance, i would definitely design a video game, but the thing that might stop me is that i dont know that much about computer programming.