Bus Driver
09-11-2005, 04:32 AM
I feel the need to walk away
Yet the path leads to you
Although the road is long
This road only runs in circles

I remember the days so long ago
The cool breeze blowing
The sunlight across the field
The silence in the air

Now I see a concrete jungle
Distorted people in bad situations
With only a drink to guide them
But I do just the same

I wonder now if age is the cause
That we lose freedom and hope
The world cannot be that cold
Deep inside I am still the same child

I see the dimmed street lights
Saxophones and pianos playing lightly
Wondering if I veered from my destiny
The world still awaits me

The sun falls behind the horizon
So much has changed
And so much remains the same
I try to see the difference

The old paths await me
I am not too far away
Even though my heart is in a different place
My thoughts and memories still remain

Emery
09-16-2005, 03:14 AM
The first stanza doesn't seem to fit the rest of the poem, and it throws off the flow a bit. A couple of the lines in the poem are a bit cliche, and it seems to sway from the topic and a couple points. Other than that it was a good read... !

Bus Driver
09-17-2005, 01:59 AM
Thanks, for your honesty and for reading the poem. My mind was kinda veering off the subject when I wrote it, but thanks for the constructive criticism.