I am not to sure if this idea has been done before or if it has been here recently but oh well.

What were the FFVII characters really thinking at certain parts of the game.

I have no ideas right now but I will post them as son as I get some.

Cloud thinking right before the final battle with Sephiroth: "Man, I am going to play so many video games when I get home!"

barrett after cloud falls off bridge at sector 5 reactor "alright, now i can hit on tifa without getting my ass kicked"

Red XIII when Cloud rescued Aeris, "God Dammit cloud!!!!! COuldn't you have waited 15 more min!!"

vincent- "I dind't really want to sleep, I just wanted to dream of Tifa some more"

Sephiroth right before he gets beaten. "Man, if only I were Whelk. Then I could just say 'Gruuuuuu,' hide in my shell, and they'd never be able to do any damage to me."

rufus on top of the shinra building "my daddy died! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" *sucks his thumb in a corner*

Cloud watching Aeris die, "Wow, that's a big sword...wow.....wow....wait a minute, Aeris....damn she's dead already. Why do I stall...wow I like his sword"

when cloud first see's tifa for the first time in 7 years....'jesus crist almighty check tifa's hasnt half got some tits on her...wudnt mind getting into her pants'

When Tifa and the others (except for Cloud, who was mako poisoned) escape from the Shinra at the Junon Prison, there's the FMV after Tifa and Scarlet's bitchslap fight (*snicker*) where the Highwind comes and Tifa jumps up on the rope, climbs it and goes onto the deck... She falls down and Barret comes to her aide (her gigantic breasts jiggling as she falls mind you)

Barret: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBSSSSSSSSSSSSSS...... *stares, hypnotized* MUST.................. GROPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hahahahhaha. LMAO ROFL LOOOOOOOL. That was great man. lol *sniff*

Cloud watching Aeris die, "Wow, that's a big sword...wow.....wow....wait a minute, Aeris....damn she's dead already. Why do I stall...wow I like his sword"

That has some seriously disturbing phallic symbolism in it...

Cloud right before the final fight with Sephiroth: "This can't be as hard as beating Battletoads."

aeris right before cloud falls through the church roof: it stinks, all the other girls have cute boyfriends, i wish i had one *cloud falls through the roof* well.... he's cute...but he's wearing purple, he must be gay, o well maybe next time

Sephiroth right before being beaten by Cloud: "Man, why do I have to get the HARD protagonists? Garland got a party of all thieves, and he STILL lost."

*When Cloud meets Aeries for the first time*

"Damn, you fine momma. I want to f*** your ass!"

barrett after the pillar of sector 7 falls: "too bad, to think that wedge only had one day left until retirement..."

When the party first sees President Shinra dead:

Cloud: "Hey, is that a cupcake over there?"

Tifa: "That's odd... no one's staring at my chest. What's drawing their attention?"

Barret: "Ugh... Titanic was such a good movie... Wait, is that a cupcake?! And Cloud's eyeing it intently... He'll never get his filthy hands on it!"

Red XIII: "Hmmm... The president's dead. And no one else seems to notice. I just won't say anything and see how long it takes them to notice."

Aeris: "I can't believe Tseng had the nerve to call me 'Ancient!'"

Palmer: "Must make a bolt for the cupcake..."

Right before the last fight with Sephiroth
Cloud: If I didn't shit myself in all the other fights I'm gonna shit myself now.
Everyone else: What's that smell?

When you first meet Red XII and he starts talking
Everyone: Holy shit that thing just talked!
Red XII: Holy shit I can talk!

When Sephiroth is in the flames
Sephiroth: Damn this is getting hot.
Cloud: Burn b*tch burn!!

Just before the final battle with Sephiroth when he makes your party float and spin round.

Cloud: Wheeeeeee that was fun do it again please. . . . aww come on just once?

Sephiroth just before that fateful 'Shinra incident':
I'm so lonely. Why does everyone run away from me? Just cos my mom is a giant alien head thing and I'm supposed to be dead. No! Stop shooting at me SOLDIER! I'm your friend! I've only come to visit Hojo! Oh, stuff this, I've had enough of your predjudice! I'm gonna kill everyone on the planet to teach you a lesson, starting with you lot! I hope that stupid spikey haired kid isn't around, that would really ruin my day. I'm so lonely.

Cloud when he gets cornered by Rude and Tseng:

"IT'S A TRAP!" (ala Admiral Akbar)

Cloud when he puts Aeris in the water:
"Holy shit I can see through her sweater!"

Cloud when he puts on the dress in sector 5:
"I wonder if my ass looks big in this.."

Sephiroth when deriding Hojo in Cloud's past:

"I mean, he's got 'Ho' in his name. What more do you need to know about him?"

Aeris when she sees Cloud for the first time (before he buys a flower from her):

"That guy really stands out. He must be the protagonist of this story! I'd better go flirt with him."

Cid when he first sees Cloud & co. enter the rocket:

"Ahhhh crap. It's another punk who thinks that I'm selling drugs. I have DREAMS, not HALLUCINATIONS."

Cloud right after finishing a meal at the small diner in Wall Market:

"Hmmm. I've definitely had better dog food, and it's a really funny option, but this is literally the only place I can get food in the whole game. Maybe I shouldn't insult them..."

Characters see trails of blood at the Shinra Buliding:

Barret: Blood, hmm, someone died........

Cloud: Blood...

Barret: Hey wait! This game is rated T, but it doesn't say blood on it! Why, I like that word. It's proposterous!

Cloud just staring: blood.....blood....BLOOD!!!!!

Shinra soldier right before getting owned by Cloud:

"Wait a minute... Why is a guy with a sword taking out so many guys with machine guns?"

tifa, under the Highwind, right before you enter the northern crater for the final battle.

Tifa: that was a nice story, but did you bring condoms?

cloud: Uhhh...they're in Aeris's purse.

Shinra soldier right before getting owned by Cloud:

"Wait a minute... Why is a guy with a sword taking out so many guys with machine guns?"

ive actually alwayz wondered that, i must do Research!!!!!!!!

Cid when he sees Cloud and the gang take his plane

"It's always somethin', aint it!! This must be Shera's fault! When I catch them i'm gonna put my %^%&^ foot so far up their asses they'll taste my athletes foot!!!!

When Cloud first sees Bugenhagen. "Man...the only way this guy can be floating is if he is ODing on some weed."

When Cloud comes out of his Mako poisoning state and returns to leadership

"I haven't seen a woman in sooooooo long...Hell I haven't seen anyone in so long, i might sneak up on Barret while he's sleeping and..."

When cloud comes out of the lifestream:

"Man, I haven't eaten since the first disk."

cid when going to rocket town for the second time to stop the rocket with the giant materia: maybe shera has finally finished making that &^#$!#& tea

Shera when she sees Cid coming to Rocket Town to stop the rocket with the huge materia:

"Oh CRAP! I haven't made the tea yet!"

Aeris sees Temple of the Ancients: Oh so that's what it looks like.......

Cid when he finds out Shera hasn't made the tea yet

"I don't believe this $#!*@, you %^@*%! unreliable *&^%$!!! I shoulda let you get burned up in that %$&*^ rocket.

Palmer when the party boards the rocket:

"That damn Shera never made my tea! I'll launch them all for this!"

Palmer when he finally gets his tea

"Where's my lard?!"

shera upon hearing palmer complain about the lard: " get the lard out of your a$$ you fat load of $#!t"

Palmer once hearing Shera's new attitude

"I'm not that...fat...am I?...*runs off to make himself throw up*

Okay ppl. This NEVER HAPPENED.

"What Final fantasy characters were really thinking"

Not..lets make Palmer into a bulemic.

geez man, learn to have a little fun why don't cha

i wuz thinkin that wile i wuz typin it, but i did it anyway just two spite you Dragoncurry...PROBLEMZ?!

Palmer fighting, taunts Cloud: Oh crap, now he's really gonna get me..."

Nah i dont got no problmes..but its funnier if it wasn't a story lol.

when Sephiroth jumps down and stabs Aeris:

Tifa: "YES!!!!!!!!!!!!! FINALLY! CLOUD IS MINE FOR THE TAKING WITHOUT THAT SKANK IN THE WAY! Oh crap, Cloud is turning this way, gotta turn on my sympathetic face."

lol, kinda stupid, but i tried :-P

as Aeris dies

"I always wished i switched to Geiko, now my mom's gonna lose the house!"

HAHHAHAAAA!!! That was so random it was funny.

another thought at the moment of Aeris death

Red XIII: I should've hit that when I had the chance."

though of Clouds

Cloud: damn wat big bazookz Tifa has.

Barret: Is Cloud looking at my huge breasts *blushes*

when Cloud gives the chick in Wall Market the stomach medicine

"Oh my God!!!! You really need this!!!! What the hell did you eat?! It smells like old baby diaperz!!!!

When cloud dressed like a girl, clouds looking in mirror, "damn i look fine in this dress"

When Cloud looks at the "shiny golden wire of hope."

"It's easy for you guys to say; you just have to wait inside me while I do the climbing."

The first time Tifa steps "inside of Cloud"

"Damn! You could really use a woman's touch in here. You know what else? You need to drink some prune juice or take a laxative...SOMETHIN!"

red XIII when running with children in end movie: "wtf, where did these pups come from, i'm the last of my species, who the heck did i sleep with, i've got to stop getting fried on weekends"

lol, that is kind of true though

when Dyne jumps off the cliff

"What the hell? I fell off anotha cliff?! Goddamit!! Why is my part of this story so screwed up?

When Barret is avoiding the gunfire from the Shinra soldiers and Dyne is watching (Dyne's thoughts):

"HOLY CRAP! Who does he think he is, Keanu Reeves?!"

barret when avoiding the shinra soldier's gunfire: dammit, why isn't bullettime working, it worked for Keanu Reeves

When barret is avoiding the shinra soldiers gunfire: look how big i am and they still miss me, damn they cant shoot

nice reusal of the same joke...EXCELENT!!!!!(SARCASM)

gay boy (to u_aint_ready)

You DID kind of steal my joke...

ye i guess so but im did sound better.

look i reely dont think you shood throw that term aroun so loosely mr. lionsheart. i bet i speak to more girls than you've ever hugged, kissed, touched in any way shape or form. im seriously gonna get myself kicked off 1 of these dayz

probably

im so sorry Mr. u_aint_ready (SARCASM) lol,

chill out hommes im just messin u around, lol

Does anyone around here know how to write? Use proper English, for the love of shit!

i dont need shit to love me, so i will type the way i want to

huh

wen u think about it Dark Auron, it isnt proper at all to use the word shit.

Cid when he reads this thread:

"Those @#$@# wimps! They get all offended at a little word like 'shit'!!"

http://quake.multiplayer.it/modelli_q3/pics/sephiroth.JPG
Sephiroth when he fights Cloud at the Mako reactor "who will I kill now? hmm... maybe i should kill Cloud a few more times..." *stares at his sack of Phoenix Downs*

gay boy (to u_aint_ready)

it's official, you're a total retard wtf is your problem?

cloud at the end of ffvii *thank god that's over.... now to retire in peace, noone's gonna make an inadvisable sequel or anything like that*

Guys, can we stick to the topic?

Red XIII (any point in the game): Dang, I could go for some Beggin' Strips...

Sephiroth (in the van when Zack is ranting about his new materia): I only have to put up with this idiot for one more mission, then I'm getting a new partner...

Jenova: He really thinks I'm his mother. Heeheehee...

Vincent: Where did I put that bottle of Prozac?

This is a lot like the "Things FF7 charaters would never say" thread.

it is except that this is stuff that actually happened with funny inserts

Safer-Sephiroth: Hahaha...These minions are dead just as soon as I conjure up another Super Nova...Wait a minute...Is that a Knights of the Round Materia? Gulp, is that a MASTERED Knights of the Round Materia? ...Crap.

When Cloud sees Jenova for the first time

"Oh my God!!!! That piece of headless shit is...Naked!!!!" *throws up*

when barrett first sees jenova: "HEEEEY, that headless chick is NAAAAKIID!" *pulls up a chair and continues to stare at body*
when tifa sees cloud and barrett looking at jenova: "HEY, they are all supposed to look at MY body!" *runs and cries in corner*

you know, i never realized Jenova was naked before because jus lookin at her made me sick. she's like red and blue an shit...eeeeeewwwww!!!!!!