Loki
01-30-2004, 06:08 AM
The Razzies are a mock of the Oscars where the worst movies of the year are chosen and made fun of. This is the video game Razzies and will pretty much be the same. Pick the game in a category that you think is the worst of the bunch, and send me a pm with your picks.
If you don't know what any of the games are, consider yourself lucky, and pick the game you think sounds the worst.
I also included on this small reviews of the games, that have been copied and pasted straight from IGN.
The Winners (Losers) will be posted in two weeks.
Worst PS2 Game of the Year
Bionicle: The Game
Bionicle: The Game can hardly be called a game. The gameplay is such a hodgepodge of styles -- an attempt to keep kids entertained -- that you never get into the title. You're thrown from one seemingly random instance to another strung along by a thin storyline. This is simply a case of trying to stuff too many gameplay ideas into a game and dumbing it down way to much for a kid's audience.
The slew of prepubescent that are obsessed with Bionicle will probably get a kick out of the storyline, mine cart riding, snowboarding, etc., but the clunky controls and poor camera angles are a hindrance to the game's accessibility and enjoyment. The adventure is also far too short and easy -- you can complete the entire game (100%) in less than two hours -- even while struggling with some counterintuitive (because of control) levels. Unless you're a Bionicle fanatic, you really should stay away from this game because its cheap frills don't last long -- and aren't all that enjoyable.
Butt-Ugly Martians: Zoom or Doom
Having only seen snippets of the cartoon myself, and having the videogame to base it on, I can't say that I'm surprised the series was cancelled. If the television show was anything like the software, then it's better off dead and buried in the annals of failed TV experiments (which is pretty much how I feel about Zoom or Doom). Budget marked at $19.99 from the moment it ships, Butt-Ugly Martians is still over-priced, and even when offered to young, inexperienced children, the fun factor just isn't there.
Monster 4x4: The Master's of Metal
If you're a really, really big fan of monster trucks, this game certainly features them and a lot of events that they're in. It also has a horrendous camera system, random trucks with no stats, terrible voice acting, badly designed courses, and characters that look so bad they're funny. If you're dead set on a monster truck, I would strongly recommend renting this for a few hours first.
Terminator: Rise of the Machines
A shooting game for a storyline that doesn't really have much shooting in it. They should have figured out something was very wrong with the design when they put two Terminator punchfest sequences back to back -- there isn't even one sequence of the main shooting game where the T-X, the game's only real villain, makes an appearance. It's all fluff gameplay -- made even fluffier because of that lame lock-on feature -- for a story not told so well. I wrote this game off as just weak for the first bits I played -- mass-market entertainment with little challenge and not much technical finesse or polish -- but it wasn't until I played it all the way through and suffered the woefully lacking and unbalanced second half of the game, after I encountered stages as short as a few minutes and a final few rounds with fewer enemies and less challenge than any moment of the game's opening level, that I recognized this game as being the least enjoyable shooting game of the year.
Fugitive Hunter: War on Terror
With low-budget quality in every different aspect of the game, it's only the appeal of going after Osama bin Laden that drives this title. With bin Laden out of the news ever since the Iraqi war started, even this distinction has faded a bit. I could only recommend it if someone were to have a deep down urge to kill a lot of people wearing turbans.
Worst X-box Game of the Year
Stake
Thank Jebus for the inclusion of a custom soundtrack option. This way I can rip my favorite John Tesh album to my hard drive and have Teshie's smooth elevator sounds playing in perfect harmony with Stake. Yeah, it's bad. Yup, it's boring. And you got it -- It's not worth a purchase or a rental. Stake, strangely, costs less than a pair of Converse these days and, I suppose, if you were to figure out how to craft the game into a decent pair of shoes, it might serve you to pick up a copy. Otherwise, stay away. Stay far, far away.
Batman: Dark Tommorrow
How bad and disappointing is Batman? It makes me realize I underrated Sneakers. The fact that it's got some better things in the GameCube version in terms of graphics and sound is a sign that the Xbox version was just a poor port of an already poor game. The controls and camera work against you at almost all times and, frankly, its just not any fun whatsoever.
SX Superstar
I have little left to say that wasn�t mentioned in this review. Let�s just say this is equivalent to Jeremy McGrath showing up to the party two years later. Theoretically, I should love SX Superstar. It�s an arcade racer that offers lots of air and a stunt system. SX even has a lifestyle simulator, which could have been interesting if you actually made decisions about your lifestyle instead of listening to answering machine messages. The problem is that with so many shortcomings, SX Superstar has to entice you into playing it with, and what little there is just isn�t all that fun.
Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines
Shown above
Pro Cast Sports Fishing
If you absolutely must play a fishing game on your Xbox, you still should avoid Pro Cast Sports Fishing. I'm not that great of a fisherman, and so a little appreciation from a fishing videogame would've been nice. Instead you're given all of the headaches of a bad fishing trip but without the beer. If you absolutely must get a headache while playing your Xbox, you should still avoid Pro cast Sports Fishing.
Worst Gamecube Game of 2003
Beyblade: Super Battle Tournament
Beyblade is a baffling game that is both so niche and so ill- executed that I can only recommended to the true fanatics out there who devour anything the franchise has to offer. Everyone else will be downright insulted by the simple, stupid game mechanics and horrendously outdated visual and audio presentations. This title does not look, sound or act any differently from its PS1 predecessor, which is a travesty.
The Sum of All Fears
Ever since catching The Hunt for Red October in theatres back in the day, I've been one of the patriotic many that have been hooked on all things Clancy. When Rainbow Six first launched on the PC, I was taken by its depth, strategy, and precise tactical control. Red Storm is universally equated with quality shooters in my mind, and so it truly pains me to look forward to a game such as The Sum of All Fears on GameCube and then feel as betrayed and disappointed as I am now. This is not the way we prefer to experience our Tom Clancy universe, and frankly, I'm a bit saddened by what Cube fans must settle for in this neglected PC port. Please do not be enticed by its stylish olive-drab packaging when you find this title sitting on store shelves, as it will surely do the same to you.
Bionacle: The Game
As above
Butt-ugly Martians: Zoom or Doom
As above
Batman: Dark Tommorrow
As above
Worst PC Game of 2003
I am doing PC Games Differently, since there are so many bad PC games that are released. This is a write-in catagory, just make sure that you are writing in a game that came out in 2003.
Biggest Dissapointment of 2003
Impossible Creatures (PC)
Tomb Raider: Angel of Darkness (everything)
Enter the Matrix
Batman: Dark Tommorrow
[u][b] Worst Game of 2003[b][u]
Write-in category.
If you don't know what any of the games are, consider yourself lucky, and pick the game you think sounds the worst.
I also included on this small reviews of the games, that have been copied and pasted straight from IGN.
The Winners (Losers) will be posted in two weeks.
Worst PS2 Game of the Year
Bionicle: The Game
Bionicle: The Game can hardly be called a game. The gameplay is such a hodgepodge of styles -- an attempt to keep kids entertained -- that you never get into the title. You're thrown from one seemingly random instance to another strung along by a thin storyline. This is simply a case of trying to stuff too many gameplay ideas into a game and dumbing it down way to much for a kid's audience.
The slew of prepubescent that are obsessed with Bionicle will probably get a kick out of the storyline, mine cart riding, snowboarding, etc., but the clunky controls and poor camera angles are a hindrance to the game's accessibility and enjoyment. The adventure is also far too short and easy -- you can complete the entire game (100%) in less than two hours -- even while struggling with some counterintuitive (because of control) levels. Unless you're a Bionicle fanatic, you really should stay away from this game because its cheap frills don't last long -- and aren't all that enjoyable.
Butt-Ugly Martians: Zoom or Doom
Having only seen snippets of the cartoon myself, and having the videogame to base it on, I can't say that I'm surprised the series was cancelled. If the television show was anything like the software, then it's better off dead and buried in the annals of failed TV experiments (which is pretty much how I feel about Zoom or Doom). Budget marked at $19.99 from the moment it ships, Butt-Ugly Martians is still over-priced, and even when offered to young, inexperienced children, the fun factor just isn't there.
Monster 4x4: The Master's of Metal
If you're a really, really big fan of monster trucks, this game certainly features them and a lot of events that they're in. It also has a horrendous camera system, random trucks with no stats, terrible voice acting, badly designed courses, and characters that look so bad they're funny. If you're dead set on a monster truck, I would strongly recommend renting this for a few hours first.
Terminator: Rise of the Machines
A shooting game for a storyline that doesn't really have much shooting in it. They should have figured out something was very wrong with the design when they put two Terminator punchfest sequences back to back -- there isn't even one sequence of the main shooting game where the T-X, the game's only real villain, makes an appearance. It's all fluff gameplay -- made even fluffier because of that lame lock-on feature -- for a story not told so well. I wrote this game off as just weak for the first bits I played -- mass-market entertainment with little challenge and not much technical finesse or polish -- but it wasn't until I played it all the way through and suffered the woefully lacking and unbalanced second half of the game, after I encountered stages as short as a few minutes and a final few rounds with fewer enemies and less challenge than any moment of the game's opening level, that I recognized this game as being the least enjoyable shooting game of the year.
Fugitive Hunter: War on Terror
With low-budget quality in every different aspect of the game, it's only the appeal of going after Osama bin Laden that drives this title. With bin Laden out of the news ever since the Iraqi war started, even this distinction has faded a bit. I could only recommend it if someone were to have a deep down urge to kill a lot of people wearing turbans.
Worst X-box Game of the Year
Stake
Thank Jebus for the inclusion of a custom soundtrack option. This way I can rip my favorite John Tesh album to my hard drive and have Teshie's smooth elevator sounds playing in perfect harmony with Stake. Yeah, it's bad. Yup, it's boring. And you got it -- It's not worth a purchase or a rental. Stake, strangely, costs less than a pair of Converse these days and, I suppose, if you were to figure out how to craft the game into a decent pair of shoes, it might serve you to pick up a copy. Otherwise, stay away. Stay far, far away.
Batman: Dark Tommorrow
How bad and disappointing is Batman? It makes me realize I underrated Sneakers. The fact that it's got some better things in the GameCube version in terms of graphics and sound is a sign that the Xbox version was just a poor port of an already poor game. The controls and camera work against you at almost all times and, frankly, its just not any fun whatsoever.
SX Superstar
I have little left to say that wasn�t mentioned in this review. Let�s just say this is equivalent to Jeremy McGrath showing up to the party two years later. Theoretically, I should love SX Superstar. It�s an arcade racer that offers lots of air and a stunt system. SX even has a lifestyle simulator, which could have been interesting if you actually made decisions about your lifestyle instead of listening to answering machine messages. The problem is that with so many shortcomings, SX Superstar has to entice you into playing it with, and what little there is just isn�t all that fun.
Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines
Shown above
Pro Cast Sports Fishing
If you absolutely must play a fishing game on your Xbox, you still should avoid Pro Cast Sports Fishing. I'm not that great of a fisherman, and so a little appreciation from a fishing videogame would've been nice. Instead you're given all of the headaches of a bad fishing trip but without the beer. If you absolutely must get a headache while playing your Xbox, you should still avoid Pro cast Sports Fishing.
Worst Gamecube Game of 2003
Beyblade: Super Battle Tournament
Beyblade is a baffling game that is both so niche and so ill- executed that I can only recommended to the true fanatics out there who devour anything the franchise has to offer. Everyone else will be downright insulted by the simple, stupid game mechanics and horrendously outdated visual and audio presentations. This title does not look, sound or act any differently from its PS1 predecessor, which is a travesty.
The Sum of All Fears
Ever since catching The Hunt for Red October in theatres back in the day, I've been one of the patriotic many that have been hooked on all things Clancy. When Rainbow Six first launched on the PC, I was taken by its depth, strategy, and precise tactical control. Red Storm is universally equated with quality shooters in my mind, and so it truly pains me to look forward to a game such as The Sum of All Fears on GameCube and then feel as betrayed and disappointed as I am now. This is not the way we prefer to experience our Tom Clancy universe, and frankly, I'm a bit saddened by what Cube fans must settle for in this neglected PC port. Please do not be enticed by its stylish olive-drab packaging when you find this title sitting on store shelves, as it will surely do the same to you.
Bionacle: The Game
As above
Butt-ugly Martians: Zoom or Doom
As above
Batman: Dark Tommorrow
As above
Worst PC Game of 2003
I am doing PC Games Differently, since there are so many bad PC games that are released. This is a write-in catagory, just make sure that you are writing in a game that came out in 2003.
Biggest Dissapointment of 2003
Impossible Creatures (PC)
Tomb Raider: Angel of Darkness (everything)
Enter the Matrix
Batman: Dark Tommorrow
[u][b] Worst Game of 2003[b][u]
Write-in category.