First post it gonna be my story. Yes this has been posted on one other board but the other board is mean. FFshrine is nice so please don't remove this because it's on another board, I wan't some good feedback and a bit of critiszm. ^_^;;

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Note: To any reader who may view this story you will be aware of my age. I assure you this story will contain creative violence and sex, which may disturb some readers. I assure you that the thoughts and views expressed by the characters are not of my own, and only of creative aspects.

Orion


Chapter 1: I met this girl�

Fallen like a soldier in battle I lay clutching my wound my lover had delivered to me. Lay spread out in the bathtub I listened to the sound of draining blood behind me. I felt it down my back as it crawled its way out of my stomach and down the side of my leg, then crawling backwards down the tub to freedom. The change I endured in these short years started with a line of taunting towards me, then three words to trigger me off. Surprised even I was I did not do what I had expected. For I lay here draining after finally finding my lover once again. My story I assure you, is one you have heard before. I travel the path given to me slowly and I slip into each outfit of insanity as it is delivered. Each time I stop I expect my journey is over only to discover it has started again. The deeper it goes, the more you will question weather I make sense but in my mind, in my world it makes perfect sense as the journey unfolds. Again I lay waiting for the answer, will my journey continue? But let�s start at the beginning, where I think my story might have begun and as you read you will be aware of where this story will go.

Opening my eyes to the world was like closing them to darkness. No differences between awake and asleep except the brittle depressing fact that being awake and alive was a punishment. Lay there I did. Hours upon hours, only my self to keep the sanity. From my cold used mattress on my young stiff back I watched the ceiling, waiting for an answer. I guess there had been a question before that answer, but I�m so far gone I can�t even remember what this question was. I breathed slowly, consciously aware of each breath leaving me, never to return.

It�s always interesting how you can feel so alive by yourself, be such a sensitive emotional person. By my self I was brilliant minded, an amazing lover and that dark ambition which in some peoples eyes could be appreciated. Then I go back to the real world, and in the first second the poisonous burning spices of real people corrupt all my perfection. So much to say to the world, yet when I�m really face to face with society I can�t say it. I�m so scared that the right words can�t escape my throat. All the world hears is my angst filled bitching or my gothic silence heard and seen from the corners of useless classrooms or rundown dirt filled sidewalks. That�s all a possibility, but to be simple, the world just plain doesn�t want to listen to me. There�s that line again. �That�s life for ya, tough.� Every time I hear that line from a lowly mortal my muscles tense up, and my hand yearns to be holding that black cold metal, yearning to pull that trigger.

Was I yearning for death or just acting it? Waiting for somebody to take notice? Nobody ever took an interest. So until a point in my short-lived life I just lost all care of attention. I fed the anger within me the rage and hatred of the aftermath to those beloved eye candies I spent most of my time tasting. I was incredibly amazed at how simple it was to create something so devastating. Watching that screen, clicking that button over and over again and listening to the screams that followed. Did the games make my life like this, or did I just use them to help? It wasn�t that I was unconscious to this effect; I was well aware of what I was becoming and every so often I would feel an awful pain in my stomach. But I had no control, or at least I didn�t want it. I wanted to be something that everybody feared. I didn�t want love; I wanted terror in my grasp: to choke it and hear it scream was all I wished for more and more each of those long pointless days.

I had a skill for writing incredibly. I never even cared about what it was my pencil moved to create. I just wrote away like those helpless primates, chained to their desks forced to type and type that dribble that eventually would be called success. Ironically those monkeys were not far off from us. Chained to our desks by the limits of what we had to pay and whom we had to watch.

I was 15 years old with short crisp brown hair and dark deep green eyes. My height was not a factor for I simply never stood up to care. I remained quiet in school and never even looked at my classmates; I didn�t need attention but I always had that lingering hope that somebody soon would take interest in that passionate human being that was me. An interesting event, which remains in my memory as the starting of my wrath, was when a girl slightly younger then me attempted to converse with me. She sat next to me and asked me the questions I had answered to myself--thousands of times.

�Why don�t you talk much?� she asked, looking over my arm as I attempted to concentrate on my drawing. I didn�t answer, I cared not of this question and from whom it came. However, I was curious as to why she was talking to me - let alone looking at me. Pausing, I quickly began playing back my memory to hear again what was before her words. I realized those giggling idiots were watching her. They found me fascinating to waste their time on. Waving it by in my head I once again completely ignored the figure next to me and I continued to draw.

Then it struck my stomach as the words flowed from her mouth into my stream of thought. Bursting out laughing she corrupted me with the words, �You�re a fag boy.� I slowly turned my head and stared at her. Looking into her eyes I felt my anger rising and my blood boiling. My stomach felt like a raging pot, brewing the soup of my angry soul itself. A thousand thoughts flashed through my mind but one in particular stood out: jabbing my pencil into her neck seemed most forfeiting. Rather crude, but in my mind it worked well. I stopped to realize what I was angry at. A mere four words were enough to trigger me to these thoughts.

I gazed at her with a grin on my face � small, but noticeable. She laughed again and said, �Oh! I suppose the fag boy intends to use his DEPRESSED rage to brutally hurt me. That fucking look won�t get you anywhere but six feet under. My boyfriend would beat your ass till you were eating through a straw if he saw you looking at me like that, fag.� At this point it was the worst it had ever been. I was far past the point. All I was to do is thrust with everything I had and I�d have her eye on the end of my pencil like a shishkabob. Then something happened right there. My stomachache simply left. That pain holding me from doing the unthinkable stopped. No more did it sit boiling in my stomach. I was confused at first. My rage was still there and I wanted to rip this girl�s throat out more then ever but I wasn�t in pain. Then I realized where I had arrived. I had traveled far down that cold dark jungle river, standing in the brutally hot humidity, both sides equally evil. I had arrived at my destination but I was not there to destroy the only true evil left. I was there to stay, to learn and to use the painless darkness given down by those who attempted to pierce my heart. I was at home in my heart, and it felt more amazing then anything I had ever remotely thought of. There and then I managed to ignore this girl once again but only to wait for a better time.

As the days went on my knowledge of myself grew and grew. I was no longer afraid of anything. Not myself, not my enemies, nothing. My imagination was at its peak and I couldn�t help but wonder what I was going to do to them. So many choices; I felt like a kid in a candy store. I could stand them up and blow their brains out as they plead for my forgiveness, I could skin them alive and tie them up then throw pounds of absence salts on each one of them. What I would give to hear them cry right before I ended their sad lives. To feel their warm blood rolling down my pale white skin would be my body tasting heaven. No regret, no feeling whatsoever. I could do anything to anybody and end myself and never even look back.

With all the words rushing through my head I could barely contain my excitement. I quote, �I want to kill as many as you mother fuckers as I possibly can. I want to go to some downtown area and just shoot as many of you fuckers as I can and blow everybody up.� I wasn�t as crude thinking as him but it was close.

Then it happened. Around one month of my dark joyful experience and growth yet another girl arrived next to me. She was new to this school, but I had no interest in speaking with her. Amazing that her assigned seat was next to mine. Her name was Rachel Vishon. Even I was surprised at how incredibly beautiful she was. Just slightly shorter then me, long dyed jet-black hair, slightly full bright red lips. Colorful peach skin and a beautiful body. Nevertheless I had no time to even deal with her. I was busy in my newly created world and there was no time for anybody unless they were brutally murdered.

As the weeks carried on I sat next to her in my English, Math and horrid Business Tech classes. I sat and listened to the hundreds of guys flirting their charm to her and from her to me, not a word. It came to one day in English when she noticed a peace of dark poetry writing I had left next to my crippled notebook. Unaware due to being lost in fantasy I didn�t notice her leaning for my shoulder to read it. I only became aware when I smelt the scent of cinnamon and peach textured breath as it crossed my face. I turned slowly only to see that brown beautiful eyes staring back at me. She grinned at me and turned around, continuing her assignment. Sitting there I found myself quite stunned for some reason. Butterflies were in my stomach and I had no idea what to do, if anything. I tried to return my train of thought but before I could even dare I felt something on the top of my leg, grasping it gently. My stomach jumped but I remained calm and slowly looked down. Her right hand managed to move its way onto my leg. I watched as she squeezed gently and I found myself making a slight jump. I looked over to see her giggling at me and watched her slowly bring her hand back.

�Not many people touch you, do they?� she asked me as she looked back onto her paper. Still stunned I tried to bring my self-control. Quickly I became aware that I had given her my attention and my darkness had oddly stepped aside for those few moments.

As I traveled home I remained excited just from the thought of her touching me like that again. I thought more and more about it until I came to another depressing conclusion. In my situation in my world she was only there for her own laughter. Taking advantage of me like they all have done just to get a good laugh in the end. I couldn�t help but feel utterly humiliated by myself that I could even remotely find myself aroused by what she had done. Once again, my mind had returned to its cold dark train of thought. Feeling this way was the only answer, for I was protected by it. Nothing could harm me; I was invincible until death. That night was the same as always, sitting there writing away thoughts and ideas then using my lighter to burn them in my hands. Being the pyro I was I had disabled the smoke alarm in the corridor outside my room. I could burn what I wanted, and then open the window to let most of it into the open air. I had no more care of safety. I just practiced ways of hurting people. I found yearbook photos of those boys and girls I had loathed. I cut them out one by one and taped them to the wall. I gazed at them for hours, with that sour smirk on my face picturing how good it would feel to tear out each person�s organs one by one. I would gut the guys first and make the girls watch as I dug my way into each of those mammals with a dull hunting knife. I would throw what I could get onto the floor in front of each of them like they do in Sushi bar restaurants. Pallets of pathetic male human meat, being wasted for my entertainment.

After enough of thinking up these brutal fantasies they became worn down. More boring each time as they lost their edge. I was no longer achieving satisfaction from the games or the fantasies. I still yearned for blood but nothing was good enough anymore to satisfy my killer instinct. Eventually I began to throw in skirmishes making the killing harder each time. Making it as realistic as I could I was forced to fight battles in my own mind just to do the utmost damage each time. They became more realistic, and my mind was overwhelming with power. Building possible outcomes and predicted events I had to build strategies of how to achieve catastrophic damage. I had drawn out battle plans and found ways of prepping before the big battle each night: myself against society. I used a model of the real world to support my fantasies, which worked incredibly well. Questioning each act I went as detailed as finding out how I would gain the weapons necessary for the rampages, finding ways of keeping it all in secret so nobody would know about what I was planing.

The more powerful these fantasies became the more powerful my mind could calculate outcomes. I became incredibly fascinated in how humans and justice systems would react to certain events. Each week I took a visit to the public library, taking out books on historic military actions and how police ended rampages. The more I read the more I found ways of avoiding being captured.

The next week my mother informed me that she had to go away on a business trip for a month. This was not unusual for me since she had gone on these trips many times. This time she informed me that I was to take care of myself and the house. Each week she sent me a check for groceries and a little money for me to spend on what I desired. I remember how excited I was. Blasting heavy and death metal 24/7 and doing whatever I wanted. Fortunately we lived in an area where nobody cared how loud the other houses were. There was at least one shot heard each month, parties constantly, cops busting drug dealers and gang fights.

Once again I sat there in English class, trying my very best to ignore her scent, which continuously shot it�s way over to me. Every time I whiffed it I fell into paradise. I had decided not to write or draw anymore next to her. I had no need to be humiliated by her charms once more. Ignoring the assignment handed out I just sat there in my same old black outfit, cargo, baggy shirt and a shiny chain around my wrist.

The scent got stronger and I heard her soft voice, �Where do you live?� My heart shot up into an uncountable amount of beats per second. My stomach did its same turn but I tried not to look at her.

��Near Paroth Station�the ghetto,� I replied, trying not to look at her. I finally gave in and locked my eyes with hers. Again I found myself falling into paradise as I gazed into her beautiful eyes. She was wearing a thin black jacket that was half-unzipped, revealing a white tank top and tight dark blue jeans. As I quickly gazed down I noticed that she had her stomach pierced recently, as it was red and inflamed.

�Me too. But I know I haven�t seen you down there ever, I would have remembered,� she looked over at my chest and noticed my necklace resting there over my black shirt. It was a silver chain like the one on my wrist but long and smaller. Hanging off of it was a small silver triangle with a sword through it. The one my father gave to me long time before he died.

She leaned over and gently balanced herself by placing her palm on my chest while her other hand held the silver triangle. Her eyes were fixated on it. My whole body was excited but I contained all of it to work up my next reply, �I don�t go out much��

She looked up at me, �I can tell,� she said, pushing herself back and letting go of the necklace. �Do you live with your parents?�

�My mother�she�s away on a business trip for a month. I have the house to myself right now,� I watched as she grinned.

�Kinky. Having a lot of parties are we?� she said, nudging me with her elbow.

I smiled softly then felt it fade away and then shook my head, �No�I don�t have any friends to have parties.�

�How does a hot guy like you not have any friends?� Once again she managed to turn my stomach over and I even felt my self-blushing. Feeling humiliated by the obviousness of how much I was turned on I pulled my heavy black jacket from the right side over my groin area slowly, trying not to let her notice.

I looked at the desk and noticed the writing �faggot� written multiple times in permanent red marker. Surprisingly enough, the quality of the writing they used was quite remarkable. Unfortunately it was incredibly memorable.

She nudged me again urging a response and I managed to slowly reply with, �People think I am a freak. I act weird and in return they are afraid of me being different. However; since they are power hogs they develop the urge to control what they are afraid of, and the only way to control what they are afraid of in their eyes is to attack it deeply. It�s not something they notice, it�s an automatic system built into their minds from their parents most likely.� I looked over again at her noticing her frozen, still smiling but paused with a look of pride.

Rachel began to use her fingers to twirl around her jet-black hair. Coming to thought she replied, �What an answer�I take it you think about this stuff a lot?�

�When you have nothing better to do but lay in bed for over 5 hours straight till you fall asleep, you attempt to make meaning out of what doesn�t make sense. I hate them� I really do� but I still am curious to wonder why they do what they do,� as I gazed at her I noticed how much she was marveling what I was saying. A deep excitement was jumping around inside of me, I never thought that anybody cared about this sort of thought.

�I guess over time you start to respect them more?� she dropped her hand down from playing with her hair and reached it over to play with the side of my jacket.
I began to make a slow laugh with a sinister tone then paused to say, �Actually I gain less respect for them and all human life the more I think about it. Eventually you start to realize how basic functioned humans really are. If a 123-page book labeled, �Psychological Labeling for Dummies� can narrow down every last possible function for a human to demonstrate then humans really aren�t that special.

��But a human being wrote that book.� She replied, moving her hand over to my leg.

I began to get even more excited but I attempted to keep my cool and continue the conversation. I tried to get my thought together and I replied with, �Yeah, but ask yourself why he or she wrote that book? He or she spent three years of their life studying psychology, then nine years in the same med school at a well-known university which ended up costing them over a hundred and twenty grand. Are they impressed with their education? No, they feel they�ve wasted their money so they decide to get that money back that their parents and him or her slaved for. So he or she gets a job as a psychiatrist just as he or she had dreamed of doing all this time.�

I paused for a second then continued, �But what does he or she desire even more? Money, of course. So he or she spends their time diagnosing people, and eventually one of the patients comes in and asks, �Tell me in English what�s wrong with me, dock.� So our friendly noble shrink described to the patient exactly what the problem is. The patient understands and by noble rights from our shrink, of course he charges money. The patient is charged an extra 40 bucks. Those 40 bucks were made slowly at a crummy job with a boss who in the first place generated this psychological problem through unhealthy environments. So in the end the patient pays money in which the exact money he pays with is what the base of his problem is. Not to mention he gets recommended some nice large pills to stuff down is throat. That�s an extra 94 dollars a week right there for some nice fancy drug manufactured in a US plant which imports 50% of its chemicals from their own labs and the other 50% of its chemicals from a Colombian licensed chemical drug plant which is paid through the bloody taxes of it�s people. These people make approximately 94 cents a day to make 44 marketing dollars of chemicals combined with American chemicals to create a 94$ drug. This drug is used by a man who is paying the very money that is making him go insane to make him better which the end fucks up his liver and gives him a food filtering problem.�

Again I took a short pause for a breath, �Now comes down to our shrink. He or she wakes up one morning and says, �Hey, maybe I can expand my knowledge like the decent person I am to the people of the world to make them understand what�s wrong with them.� So he or she writes a book with their 40 dollar an hour time. Then a company with the copyright name of dummies decides to publish it with a contract to the writer of $19.0456 a book sold. Next thing you know a 29.99-dollar book is out on the market. People are buying this book as a translator for high end English used by their shrinks because these people being treated don�t have a $100 000 dollar education. No irrelevant education means they don�t understand what the fuck their psychiatrist is saying.�

I noticed after my long sentenced speech that Rachel had stopped completely, gazing at me with this odd excited look. As if I had just spoken dirty to her. �How about this, Deronik�� Finally somebody had said my name right. As fucked up as a name it was she said it right, �Me and you can be friends. Me and you can have a party at your house, just the two of us fucked off our asses babbling on shit for hours.�

I gave her a confused look then asked, �Fucked off our asses?�

�You know�stoned, high�fucked off our asses? You�ve been high before, right?� she asked, looking at me strangely.

�Err�No I haven�t,� I replied slowly.

She laughed then lifted up her bag, �Then I guess tonight you�ll just have to have to smoke a lot.�

�T�tonight?� I stuttered feeling my stomach go crazy with excitement.

I watched as she smiled and noticed her putting on her jacket. She then threw her hair out of her line of site, �Yeah, meet me on the field and we�ll go right to your house. I hope you have a stereo system, a nice TV and a fuck load of food.�


June 4th, 1989. An easy estimate of over 10 000 protesters in favor of democracy stood in the Chinese made concrete Square in Beijing. The result? A division of the Chinese red Army named �the peoples liberation army,� liberated over 7000 protesters from their freedom seeking lives. Shot by the bullets they slaved for in their factories, or crushed under the steel treads they welded with their own sweat and blood. Leaving a landfill on the square of 7000 dead and another thousand or so wounded. I remember feeling the adrenaline rush as I fantasized about it, so many times. I fantasized being the ones in power, the ones who commanded it.

Unfortunately, much of my life I felt as if I was always being crushed by the steel tank treads of society; the last thing I would see before my sleep would be that thousand ton steel beast sitting on top of my newly rotting corpse. The only problem was the next morning I woke up in the same old uncomfortable ideally made Concrete Square, only to be crushed by the treads again, or shot down by the bullets I made.

These feelings were starting to slowly leave me as I spent time with Rachel. I halted fantasies more and more and I wasn�t as bloodthirsty. Still I remained with that cold blooded killer instinct which never felt sorrow, never saw regret and strained with its finger on the edge of the trigger, just waiting to fire at it�s closest target.


After school I headed out to the field. My chains clanked as I walked through the boiling sea of green blades, with the scolding sun on the back of my neck. I looked forward and saw Rachel looking back at me, smiling. I returned the smile and picked up my pace. I reached her and then we continued to walk out of the field towards the bus stop. We chatted peacefully about her mainly. She had been expelled from many different schools from writing they continued to find on her. Depressed psychotic type writing, with no real propose but to plan out the different ways of killing people. Apparently she was much like me, just a little too careless with what she had been open about. Going to many different anger management classes she behaved herself and showed incredible signs of improvement until one of her shrinks had her re-inserted into this school. One of the lines that struck me hard is when she said, �I behaved myself like the good little girl I was. But the thing is, once you believe in violence no training or brainwashing will wipe that clean. It�s there, and you�re going to act on it one day.�

As she said this I stopped and I looked at her, saying, �That�s their excuse�or�his excuse.�

She looked at me with a faint grin, �Yeah�it is. I got caught so many times and I can never fulfill what I want to achieve.�

�For one thing what he did was foolish. He had no control; it was just crude planing with crude devices. I myself may have that in me but I also have the brains to know that there are other ways. I�m not one for killing innocent people; it�s just not my thing. I fantasize about it, I come close to it, but I have better ideas, which don�t involve killing innocent people. I don�t care to go down as the guy who lost his cool and went all out just because he was made fun of�not to mention, next time you read about him, look at his pictures. Look at his eyes, look at his smile - it�s so fucking obvious that he wasn�t just dark hearted and a cold-blooded killer. He was fucking insane. All murderers are labeled as insane, but in reality he had no control over himself. It was just constant fantasy, which always resulted in over 1000 people dying just by him running around shooting people.� I looked over and saw her nodding slowly in realization.

We continued to walk until we reached the subway and from there on in it was a quiet trip. All we did was look at each other and smile.

Orion was my creation. As insane as it was people followed and it worked. Perfectly organized by me and perfectly followed out by most of the players. It was flawless and untraceable for the longest time. I had written it down on 9 sheets of graphite covered lined paper and left it in my desk inside my room. She must have grabbed it after she voluntarily gave me a hand job. I was so fucked and after coming I didn�t even notice I was alive, let alone her grabbing all the papers in my desk. Amazingly she did not do anything treacherous, but she gave me a gift. She gave birth to my dream. My dream of all dreams was Orion, the game that fed all killer instinct with in all that wished to play. To my surprise, she found a lot of players.

I removed my jacket and knapsack then tossed it onto the shiny varnished wooden floor. Rachel followed my lead but bent down to neatly place her jacket out of the way. I threw my shoes off and walked over to the couch. I sat down and watched at the front door to see Rachel bent over untying the laces to her scuffed up black boots. She finally removed them and headed over to where I was sitting and placed herself directly next to me. Looking at her busy eyes I marveled at them not noticing the items she was pulling out of her bag. After a few seconds I looked over to the coffee table and noticed 3 tiny zip lock bags packed full of weed, a black box the size of my palm and a black velvet CD case.

�Do you have a brother, Deronik?� she asked me, letting herself fall back onto the couch. Slowly she began to move up into a cuddle with me.

Realizing what she had asked me I remembered just what the story behind that was. I looked down to see her head laid down over my lap and her eyes gazing back at mine. I made a brief sigh and tried to let the words escape, �My family is so fucked up it�s not even funny. My mom�s in her 50�s and she had me practically recently.�

Rachel nodded her head then moved her hand up to paw at my necklace, ��but�do you have a brother?�

I paused and felt my face going blank in memory. Not as if I was sad but as if I had just remembered what I was missing in my life, what I should have had. �I did�have a brother. He was killed in a Special Forces training operation in friendly deserts. Got hit by an anti tank round. He didn�t even have a corpse left; just fragments of him scattered around the desert,� I said, looking over at the shelf to see an old photo of my brother with his friends.

�Miss him?� she asked gazing up at me as she continued to run her fingers down the chain of my necklace. Rachel moved even closer to me and ran her other hand down my chest down to my stomach.

My breathing began to get heavier and once again I had found myself aroused, hoping she wouldn�t notice. I gazed back at her, trying to decipher through her eyes what her motifs were. �No. I�ve lost a lot of people in my life and eventually you get used to that telegraph showing up at your door.� I noticed her hand moving down the right side of my body. She moved it over my right hand, which sat on the couch and clutched it, like a baby. She then squeezed it in and locked her hand with my and squeezed gently.

�Just breathe, Deronik. You�re trembling,� I noticed that she was right and I started to monitor my breaths properly, keeping a steady rhythm. Eventually I calmed down. I looked into her eyes and then something incredible happened. I felt at peace, for some reason I had just melted right there and I was totally open to her. No more fear or nervous shakes, I just felt like I could lay there with her for ages. I gave a faint smile to her and noticed what she was waiting for.

She pushed herself up closer to me slowly, as if she was trying not to scare me. She got closer and closer till she was level with me. She had moved into a position where her left leg and right leg were spread out over my lap. There she sat, locked with my eyes totally level. I felt her hands moving up towards my upper body till she let her left hand rest on my chest. Her other arm moved around my back and I felt her fingers gently running up the back of my neck. She placed her palm on the back of my head and pulled me closer to her. I could now very much smell that unique breath she had as she pulled me closer. Once again I fell to her needs. I let my arms wrap around her and I gently held her. She pulled her arm out from between us and then placed it on my right shoulder, letting her hand dangle over the couch. Now I was the closest I had ever been to a girl. Not only that, I was as calm and mellow, as I had been when I laid in my bed all those long nights.

I looked into her eyes and now could see what I had begun to love about her. In her eyes laid how much she wanted me but also how independent she was. Right at that moment she had gotten me. She was one of those girls who just knew how she could have you fall in love with her forever. Right there I in my mind I fell to her like a slave. And I was from that moment on her protector. She moved in slowly and gently shut her eyes, placing her lips against mine. At first I felt in shock, but quickly I adapted to what she was doing. I too shut my eyes and focused on it. Without warning I felt her tongue slip into my mouth. Again I was in incredible shock and I felt for a second like I was going to into a fury of violent coughs but then once again I adapted. She began tracing patterns inside my mouth with her tongue, and I could only accept what she was doing. For the next twenty minutes I remained in paradise hoping for more and more each second.

Finally she pulled away from my mouth and smiled. Rachel then moved back and stood up, turning around to pick up the black velvet CD case. She walked over to the side of the room where the stereo system was and took out an album. I watched her finger press the eject button. The player�s mouth popped open and she slid it in. Pushing it shut she reached her hand over and turned up the volume.

There was a clicking noise in the player then the first song came on. Naturally I had figured she would play heavy metal and there I came on. Heavy metal with those heavy beats blasting through the house. I had just recently got a new sub-woofer and it was all worth the money. She smiled and dropped the case from her hand, letting it fall to the yellow tinted carpet. Her hand moved to her pocket and she pulled out a lighter and walked over to the table. I moved over to the table to see what she was doing. I simply marveled at her actions for the next five minutes as she carefully rolled a joint.

She stood up holding it in her hand and fell back onto the couch next to me. �You�re going to have to smoke half of this to get anything, Deronik. You ever smoked anything before?� she asked, pulling the lighter up under the end of the joint. I shook my head and she nodded in return slowly, adding a small laugh to it. She pulled back the wheel on the lighter and there was a loud click and nothing else. Once again she tried and then she finally got a large flame going. It quickly turned the end of the joint black, and I could smell very strong a scent I had never smelt before. Sitting up she placed herself over me and held it near my lips. �Do it slowly, suck it out then inhale it and let it rest, then exhale. Okay?� I nodded my head. I reached my hand up and took it, and tried to imitate how they did it in the movies. I placed the end of it on my lips and began to suck. Immediately there was this hot burning sensation on the top of my throat and I just as soon coughed it all up.

Rachel laughed at me and I let myself settle. Once again I sat up and tried again, this time I got it without any problems. I did as she said: I let it come down into my lungs and then waited. Then with a huff I exhaled all of it. �Okay. Keep going till half of it is gone.� I did as she told me, slowly taking it all in. Eventually I started to feel slightly sick after I reached the halfway point. I handed it back to her and leaned back, letting it all settle. Rachel began to do it herself, professionally.

Soon after I started to feel my eyes becoming full and heavy. Before I knew it my train of thought was not a train of thought anymore; it was an explosion of thought. I stood up for no reason, but then the funny thing was by the time I had stood up I was still getting up. I looked down at her and laughed for no reason. �Wow�fuck where am I going?� I said, looking down at her. She burst out laughing and I noticed her eyes were shiny and blood shot.

Wow...

Chapter 2: Blade Therapy

When I looked at my self to that moment I could not help but remember the long hours in class. The hours in this certain class were spent describing why drugs were extremely bad for me. At first I had a feast of what they delivered to me. I bought into it. Believing it like I once believed in superior judgment. Then I became a social reject. I lost friends and unfortunately people started to loath me. They made fun of me countless times a day and used me as an emotional punching bag. It became clear to me who I was when I found my self-wishing they were dead. Most believe hate is a strong word. But most don�t understand that hate is a strong pain and so is the pain that boiled in my stomach for so long.

I never even sat back to think about Rachel�s proposes. I just went with the adrenaline rush. One might ask what it felt like. Have you ever gotten a rush from thinking about somebody else�s experience? Or looked back on your life and remembered how much fun it was in that time. Most people feel the rush and they want more, so they try to experience that feeling again. Funny thing is very few do, they have to live in the past to keep the rush speeding. And slowly it dies and they realize the time spent envying the past was wasted and now they envied that time they spent envying. That rush was exactly what I felt like when I was with Rachel. Nothing else in the world mattered. Especially not those rambling idiots in each one of my classes.

Rachel was everything I had ever wanted. Chaotic romance with that enjoyable sting of sadistic humor and the will to feed. We both wanted to destroy life. We wanted to be dark lords and by our selves we would annihilate all. It had been a month of pure enjoyment. We individually picked out our classmates and decided which ones we wanted to brutally murder and how. Together we would kill as much human life as we could, and before it was over we would kiss. That one kiss that shared the passion of death between the killers is what I wanted. Then it would be simple; both of us would end each other.

Rachel had broken by innocence 20 times fold. She showed me everything that I had ever wanted. Sex, drugs and alcohol. The �three� fucking no no�s of my childhood. I never considered what I did was cool. However, I considered it liberating. All cares gone down the drain and just the sting of everything at once. She made sure she had me on every drug that she had ever been on. The only ones she kept me off were most of the highly known chemicals, exception of acid.

My mother had gotten back and our long nights of partying were over. I didn�t mind much. In the third week Rachel brought condoms with her and literally stripped me of my virginity in one long night. We fucked for about 3 hours. 1 hour of it was her trying to extract the confidence from me to take over. The other 2 we shared taking different positions. For me it was the most extreme rush ever, almost unbearable but for her she just enjoyed it. She knew what she was doing and she certainly knew what got me going. The next nights were shorter but fun as hell. They were long, hot and dirty. The only 3 words I could use to simplify it all.

Then the next step to my story was taken. It was after 5 weeks that Rachel invited me to meet two of her guy friends. She told me that she had never slept with either of them, and was extremely good friends with them. Telling me over and over that I would like them and informing me about who they were. I didn�t trust it. I never liked other guys no matter who they were. But I went along with what she told me.

I was in the same clothes as always. She liked them so I didn�t see why I should change. She walked up to me as I sat on my porch waiting. I saw what she was wearing and I wanted to fuck her there on the spot. She had slightly tall black boots on with black shorts that were seriously not that low. Rachel was also wearing a smooth black tank top with no texture lining. On her right hang she had a thin black riding glove with the ends cut off revealing half of her fingers. I smiled and proceeded to stand up until she quickly spread her legs and leaped onto my lap making an excited high yelp. I felt bits of air escape me and I made a quiet notification that I was in pain. She laughed and placed both her hands on my face and looked into my eyes. I reached my hands around her and lowered them to her sides. There was that rough feeling against my face as I felt the crevices of her glove rub against my skin as she stroked my cheek with her palm. Quickly I watched as she tilted her head and moved in, shooting her tongue in my mouth quickly giving me a long lingering kiss.
Removing her tongue she gazed at me then spoke, �We have to go to my friends house for a party. It�s not to far from here�� I felt her hand as it dropped from my cheek and dragged down to my groin, �He said he will give us a room to crash in as long as he gets to know you.�

I shot up with excitement and immediately said, �All right!� Rachel kissed me the same way again and then pushed her self up. Taking my hands into hers she pulled me up and escorted me off my porch. For the rest of the trip she danced around me giggling, trying to get me to play along with her jokes. I was still really none-amused but I loved her so much that I just dealt with it. It felt good that we had not had one of those depressing psycho-killing talks for a while, I had felt somewhat tired of it. At this point I felt kind of like I wanted to calm down for a bit.

Eventually we came to a small house. It was slightly rundown but didn�t look much different than mine. I guess in our street looking like you had nothing was better than looking like you had something. We proceeded to the doorway and Rachel danced all the way up the walkway and rang the doorbell. We waited a few moments and then we watched as the door swung open. In the doorway stood a tall and very built guy. He had slightly tanned skin and odd jet-black hair with red lining. He was only in black cargo pants and I could see his whole upper body area. He was slightly puny but at the same time very built. I looked at him and noticed his eyes were yellow. Lenses of course. This guy was more weirdly dressed than I had ever been and he wasn�t even in full clothing.

Rachel dove into his arms giggling like a little schoolgirl. The boy was quick to react in hugging her and grinning. Again I thought to my self how close he was on the line of looking pure ridiculous. But I got this instant vibe from him and he didn�t fuck around, and he was a serious guy. I watched as Rachel pulled back and stood in front of him. She put her arm around my shoulder and pulled me close. �Seth, this is Deronik�Deronik, Seth.�

I nodded my head towards him with no emotion and watched as he spoke with an incredibly deep voice, �What the fuck kind of a name is, DERONIK?� I found my self thinking of what to say, �No don�t even fucking tell me, from now on I call you Tonic.� I still didn�t know what to say so I just nodded my head. I had kept my cool the whole time and remained dead and calm. In some ways I could tell it made a good impression on him.

�So this is the guy you�re banging? Fuck�well at least he�s not a fucking thug,� he said, moving to the side allowing our entrance. �Get in you�re letting the hot air in.� I waved Rachel in and then followed her in past Seth. Seth slammed the door and walked through the corridor shoving me out of the way. I smelt the scent of old house and cigarettes mixed together, not to mention other smells that were quite odd. Rachel ran down the hall and into a room and I slowly followed to the doorway. I stopped and looked in, peering into a living room. There was 2 black leather couches in perfect view of a large television. I also noticed that at the other end of the room there was a large high tech speaker system.

I looked over to the couch and saw another guy sitting there watching the television. He too had slightly tanned skin but was fully clothed. He was wearing dark blue jeans and a white undershirt shirt with a light bluish tropical shirt. He had a piercing through his nose and his ear. Like Seth his hair was jet black but with no other colors. Again I could not help but think he was on the verge of looking ridiculous.

�Ryan this is Deronik,� she said, nudging me into his view. Before I could say hello he snapped his fingers with his left hand and pointed at me.

�Nice to meet you, Deronik. But before you say anything�don�t say anything. I�m extremely fucked right now and it�s best I don�t engage in conversation. And yes I�ve practiced saying that many times.� Ryan said this very clearly but at the same time I could hear the tar and flem at the back of his throat making it sound muttered. He dropped his hand and went back to watching television.

Seth walked over and collapsed on the couch directly next too Ryan. Next came a loud breath of air from his mouth in the form of a sigh. I watched as Rachel dove onto the empty couch sitting in one spot. She made a jester to me to come and sit by patting the empty space next to her. I looked over at Seth to see him lying back with his eye shut and arms spread out. Step by step I cautiously proceeded to the space left for me, making sure I didn�t step on any of the electronics and clothing left on the ground. Slowly I sat down next to Rachel, and quickly she jumped at laying her head down on my lap. Still a bit uneasy I sat and remained perfectly quiet.

After a short while I noticed Seth changing his position on the couch. He pointed his body in our direction and looked at me. �Hey, man. Quick question, do you like guns?�

I had lost my attention in the room until he murmured a question. I felt Rachel pawing at my neck lass as usual, and as usual I always looked down to see her with those beautiful brown eyes staring back at me. She had a grin on her face and it was obvious what she wanted. I looked over at Seth and remembered that he had asked me something. �Sorry�what?�

Seth looked down at Rachel and then back up at me, �You two can do what you want later. But right now I got to make sure this guy is okay for you, Rachel.� A quick sarcastic sounding laugh escaped his lips in a breath. �So�do you like guns?�

What kind of a question was that? Of course I liked guns. However I felt that I needed to answer wisely to this question. It was a pointless test or a trick question. �Depends what kind of gun. I can tell you first off I don�t have much care for 9mm handguns, exception of the berretta. Nore do I give any sympathy for the dumb pathetic fuck who uses a 9mm handgun � I replied, allowing a small smirk to appear on my face.

Seth grinned, �Hey your boyfriend is the first to actually answer with a good answer.�

�I told you he was amazing,� she said, allowing her self to move up next to me, rapping her arms around me slowly.

�We will see about that.� Seth reached down for a cigarette package. He raped his hand around it and looked inside. �Fuck�� he said, throwing the package onto the floor. He raised his right hand and swiftly whacked Ryan. �Fucker, you smoked all my cigarettes. You�re this close to sleeping on the basement floor you know.� He said to Ryan, making a gesture with his fingers.

�Man�you were going to need to go out�anyway�I mean you was nearly out.� Ryan grabbed a cushion from on the floor and placed it behind his head, lying back even more.

Seth quickly managed to loose his attention with Ryan and get back to our conversation. �Okay well�what�s the most powerful mass made handgun?�

� Black or silver Israeli Desert Eagle 50 caliber with a 12 inch barrel,� I replied, moving closer to Rachel to feel her warmth.

�Would you ever use it on the street�s?� he asked, trying to squeeze a wrong answer out of me.

�Yeah�to scare gang members by the look of it. It�s a beautiful gun. But I certainly as hell would never get in a gun war with that as my weapon.�

Seth nodded his head then gazed at me, �Why?�

�Gun�s are not suppose to have massively bad side affects for the people who use them. For starters, you shoot somebody with that anywhere in the chest area or stomach area they will die. Bullet will most defiantly make an exit wound no matter where it hits. That�s a plus. But the gun works as 3 things. 1 is a gun of course; the other is the back leg of a horse and finally a flash bang. I say back leg of a horse because the kick back to the gun is so immense it will break your wrist if you don�t shoot it right. And flash bang because the fireball generated from the firing of the bullet can temporarily stun or blind you. For a few seconds.� I began running my finger through Rachel�s hair, trying to keep my attention on her as well as Seth.

�Very good.

For the next hour I kept warming up too Seth. Rachel remained quiet, letting us talk and warm up to each other.

Seth pulled him self-back on the couch and huffed a quiet cynical laugh, �Sorry man I�m burnt out so I�m much easier to get along with. Better you meet me now then when I�m sober or drunk.� I nodded my head slowly in agreement. Seth sat up and looked over at Ryan with a rage filled gaze. �Okay right I�m going to the store. Deronik you can come with me.�

Before I could reply I felt Rachel sit up quickly. I didn�t choose to argue I didn�t have much of a problem. I was still a bit edgy around Seth, even though I was starting to realize he was a lot different than most of the guys that I had known.

Seth threw on a black vest but he still revealed his whole upper body. I followed him out the front door at his slow speed. When we managed to get on the sidewalk I aligned my self with him, preparing for a conversation. �Make on thing clear, Deronik. Not to seem intimidating but you hurt her I�ll kill you.�

Indeed it was that simple with Seth. He meant it as blunt as he said it. And I didn�t need to worry; I would never hurt Rachel. One thing I learned about Seth was he was a more brave self confident out going sort of me.

�Me and my friends on the street get together for some quick fights, a few drinks and just talk. Yeah we get together 1 Sunday every month. We just fight it out for money; it�s an easy 100 bucks for the guys who have been doing it for a while. You should join us this Sunday. Keep in mind though you might not like some of these guys.�

I looked over at Seth with a bit of a confused look, �All right�� I replied, trying to get on his good side the best I could.

Quickly he noted, �You should also know that in combination with what your girlfriend is planning.�

I gave him a strange glare with a hint of frustration, �What is she planing?�

�Has something to do with you of course, and it�s also something that you planed a long time ago. I don�t know what it is actually. Don�t worry it wont hurt you, matter of fact it might help you.� Seth continued to walk with out even second thinking what he was saying.

Eventually I got bored, and decided that we had to pour into the facts about each other�s lives. Seth was 20 and working in the film industry. He worked in the lighting department, not too high up just enough to get some decent work in. Right now he was on his 1-week break. They had just finished working on a motion feature and Seth was waiting for them to call him up for the next job. After a long walk of just plain talking about each other�s lives openly we reached a plaza. Most of the stores were closed since it was around 12:30 at night. There was a variety store that seemed wide-awake and Seth proceeded to head towards it. We reached the door and Seth opened it with one hand, swinging it wide open. We both walked in and I looked over at the counter to see a young man behind a counter. He was in very casual clothing and wearing weird sunglasses that reflected light into my eyes. Seth walked directly over to the counter and once again I followed him and walked over next to him, leaning on the counter.

�Get me that king size pack of Eagle Dry Light. Ricky you got any of those special smokes in from Germany yet?� he asked, placing both his hands on the counter.

The man reached over and grabbed a large cigarette package with the name, �Eagle Dry� over a gold eagle with a cigarette held in its beak. And printed just below it was, �light� in blue. He tossed it onto the counter in front of Seth then reached under the counter and pulled out a large carton of cigarettes. The writing on the carton was in German but I could see a picture of a black panther on the side. A small flashy sticker on the side caught my attention and I noticed it said, �Imported From Germany.�

Seth reached in his pocket and pulled out a large amount of bundled cash. He handed it to Ricky, and quickly Ricky counted while putting it into the cash register. Seth collected his two cigarette packages �You�re a good man, Ricky.� Seth declared, turning around and heading towards the door.

We stood outside in the empty parking lot quietly. I didn�t feel like talking. But I needed to ask the question that was on my mind.

�That was a lot of money just for cigarettes.� I said, looking back at the store.

Seth�s gaze moved over in my direction, �German cigarettes. Gold coated filters and really nice Cuban tobacco. They are not cheap.�

I kind of felt comfortable with Seth but I really wasn�t too interested in socializing with him beyond guns and girls. I felt like I had thought up everything he was currently thinking up and it was like talking to a 5 year old discovering that the tadpole up the stream was part bullshit. As I thought to my self I noticed as Seth moved his hand towards me, gesturing to me that he was trying to hand me the pack of cigarettes.

�I don�t smoke,� I said, looking back at him.

Seth looked at me and laughed, �Deronik your problem is you�re so uptight. Take the pack of cigarettes and smoke them you little fuck.� Once again there was that laugh, slowly being exhaled by his mouth. I took the pack of cigarettes from his hand.

There it was. The fact I had gone over in my mind so many times. I knew for a forceful fact that I would never live past my teen years. I wasn�t bothered by it. My darkness was somehow entwined with my youth. Like a sexual hormone with the overpowering black thick sweet tasting poison, working in harmony with my mind. Controlling my every move. At this point I simply said to my self, �I don�t give a fuck about cancer and shit like that.� There�s no way I�m going to get any one of these addict diseases. Before I can even get half way to them I will die in a glorifying death. I didn�t see a future now; I just wanted to die after a final resolution. And it was building all right; it was building in favor of my way. Who ever said darkness could not rule others with out the help of politics had something to learn from my story.

I had started smoking the cigarette. It burnt my throat as I inhaled, and it felt utterly terrible. Yet when I did it�I some how felt much calmer. Like I was taking deep breaths of antidote for the poisonous stress and paranoia in my mind.

Seth had said a lot that night. Some of it I thought was logical, the rest of it I found very old. Drawing conclusions about him was really simple. I just looked at my self and multiplied everything good about me by 3, and then filled my gaps with perfection that he held. He was the first guy I had conversed with in a very long time. And it felt remotely good.

We headed back to Seth�s place. The night felt complete, a bit of bonding between mails, a new habit to endure and the exhilaration of the thought of a girl I loved wanting to fuck when I got home. And indeed she did. Seth granted us one of his rooms and noted before we entered, �room is sound proof, no worries.� There was a nice tidy bed and the room smelt much better than the house it self. It had a nice pine smell to it mixed with Rachel�s fragrances. I figured that this room was meant to be like this for most hours of the day, till a girl and a guy walked inside purely to have sex.

The night was long and utterly gorgeous. I could say only one thing. �Fuck all those people who ever said, �eww that�s dirty�.� Ironically the more dirty it got, the cleaner our relationship became. Fuck everybody whoever second-guessed human nature. It was time now for me my self to act on my instinct.

Little did I know that night was going to be more than I ever imagined a night could be. I was stepping into the gates of hell and in my mind all I could see was a meadow of flowers. I guess that was part of the deception. On the other hand though my meadow of flowers in my mind was indeed the exact same thing as hell it self. At that point I didn�t realize how far I was willing to go, how easy it was for my instinct to control my finger movement. The moral of this story is, �Evil will war against all things living, including the presence of other evil.� I was a Renegade warrior fighting a war with evil as a representative of a greater evil. This evil was what I later named, �Pleasurable fire and Romance.� Once I lost my primary fear I walked into the darkness feeling welcomed, even when I was hated. Ironically to me, hated was loved. And tonight I was going to loose this �primary fear.� A war was about to begin, right on the streets of the place you call home. It was a game, all a game my friends. Tonight, the first step to Orion would begin.

�All who wish to feed their desire to annihilate another being, simply play the game. If you really are meant to feel the rush of killing another, you won�t fail.�

After spending a long passionate night with Rachel we both lay together. My arm was stretched over her, making sure she felt fully secure under my protection. I noticed she was sleeping. I also noticed I had to take a piss. I slowly got up from the bed and opened the door. I went around searching for the bathroom but had no luck till I noticed a door. I was in only my black cargo pants and all my chains as usual were still on me. It was 2 in the morning so I figured I wouldn�t wake anybody. There was light creeping out from under the door. I opened it slowly and noticed there was a staircase that headed down. At the bottom was a polished cement floor, and all that was lighting it was a light bulb hanging from a thin chain. I headed down the stairs slowly trying to get a good view of the basement. I reached the floor and I looked around. It was empty. All that was there was a table with a black chair slightly tucked underneath it. At the far end of the room was a door slightly opened, and I noticed a toilet. In my curiosity I noticed something sitting onto of the table. From my distance it looked like a stick. I moved closer to it and the object game into view. Have coarse. I was close enough to see it was a long combat knife. It had a long rubber black handle with lined gaps every millimeter or so. The blade on top had a fine gagged edge with a straight sharp end.

It was here I noticed writing on the table. So I stepped closer. The top of the table was smooth and white, made from polished wood. It had small light blue blotches every few inches. I picked up the knife in my right hand and leaned on the table with my left. I clutched the blade and bent over, hovering over the writing. Word after word it was all separated, and small colored stains could be seen here and there. The words were names. About 5 columns of names with about 6 names in each column. Some were written neatly, others not. And not in the writing I saw the truth, but in the color of the writing, the only color being red. Obviously I clued in that it was all written in blood. I wasn�t chilled at all, a matter of fact after I read all the names I was going to add mine to the bottom. At the very top of the first column was the familiar name, �Seth.� Below it was, �Noah.� Following that was �Karen� and then �Eric� and after was �Cody� finally was �Rachel.�

The list of names just went on. All in different writing, all with different amounts of blood. I looked up in thought and in my movement I saw something else. It was an enormous graffiti picture done on a gray polished brick wall. It was beautiful, simply beautiful. A large black demon with red lining and amazing detail. It also had large cracks all through it, and behind it was lava red. As if lava for blood was pouring out of it. It had bright yellow eyes with a tiny black retina surrounded with a white trim. And where the white should have been on the outskirts of the eye, there was black. It was engulfed inflames and around it was humans with their flesh melting from the fiery hot rocks like a sauna and crying out to the demon, as if they wanted it to help.

Below the beautifully detailed work was large red writing. Again obviously in blood. But there was a huge amount. No way in one day could somebody have written that. It was a name again, and to me it was a name that was appealing. It said in capitals and graffiti style, �DAMEON.� And below it was a small quote.

�Fate is simple. You will ultimately die. In the spirit of that thought, let me, let all�do�or die.�

This entranced me. I could see everything that was in me on that wall for some reason. Out of absolutely nowhere I felt something grip me. I was startled but then I noticed those arms. Rachel�s arms wrapping around me and resting her chin on my shoulder.

�I was hoping you would find this.� She paused then popped a question out, �You wanna put your name down don�t you?� Rachel asked me, running her finger along my wrist back and fourth. She had the front of her body pressed up to the back of mine.

I looked back at her, �I do.� I then lifted my hand and pointed to the wall. �Who is Dameon?� I asked. I felt Rachel take the blade slowly out of my right hand, grasping it in her own.

�He�s your age. You�re creepy, Deronik. I like that. But�compared to him you�re normal. Dameon is calm, quiet, intelligent and strong. But�he�s�I don�t know. Just the vibe I get. That he�s pure evil. No romance or anything like that, just darkness. I tried to flirt with him but he was dead about it. He only talks about violence and death, hell and that stuff.� Rachel made a loud huff of hair.

�I was like that at one time�but then I met you. Now I feel amazing.� I said, trying to make my smooth words get her going. And indeed it did.

She turned me around slowly. �I�ve wanted to show you this for a while my love.� She said, pulling my right hand out in front of her. �This is going to hurt but drown it out properly and it will feel amazing. I�ll start slow with you.� Rachel moved in closer. �Don�t be startled. Pay attention to my lips, Deronik.�

There it was. She moved in and began to kiss me like she always had. It was passionate, just like I liked it. She moved her hand up and made sure my eyes were closed. I eventually was lost in ecstasy with her lips except for one thing; I felt her one hand grabbing my right hand with was out in the open. I felt it being pulled closer to her with my wrist upwards. There was along gap so I just went back to the feeling of passion. Finally Rachel used some of her best moves with her tongue, which once again I found my self lost in an intense session. Suddenly, with out any warning what so ever I felt something long and sharp slide across my wrist. It was quick and shocking and above all painful. Without even thinking my brain automatically looked for a place to release the stress. And there it was. I found my self-bitting down on Rachel�s lip extremely hard.

I was waiting for a loud scream but Rachel held me close and made sure we kept kissing passionately. I was in a world of pain but I couldn�t pull out, so I tried to focus my energy on the greatness I was experiencing. Then the most awful thing happened. The taste of blood mixed with our saliva. I tried to pull away but Rachel held me tight. I felt like I was going to throw up. I was virtually taking her blood into my mouth and I had no choice but to swallow. And she forced me to keep kissing. I felt like a fucking vampire. Why was she doing this? What the hell was the point? But it continued. It just kept going and going and I had to keep swallowing it. It felt like an eternity. Then in shock I noticed I was starting to not mind the taste of her life. It had a unique taste�nothing else tasted like blood and I never thought to notice how unique it was.

Finally Rachel broke the kiss. I was feeling faint. I nearly collapsed from this weird dizzy feeling. Then in my confusion I noticed the pain on my wrist. My arm was hanging down and I looked towards it. Directly next to my feet was a puddle of blood that had drained from my wrist.

�I know you enjoyed that. I�m soooo proud of you, Deronik.� I saw the bite mark I had made on Rachel�s lip and blood was running down her chin. She dove on me with her cheerful little giggle. As if everything was normal. �Now my love. Write your name.� She said, pointing towards the table.

I felt so weak yet I managed to do what she demanded. I placed my finger on my wrist where the large slit was and got my blood on the tip of my finger. I walked over to the table and bent over then started to write my name in a spot. Before I could finish the O I ran out of blood so I rubbed my finger on my wrist again to finish my name. And there it was. Written in my blood, �Deronik.�

Now let me tell you this is where my story took a turn for the utmost horrific, and bizarre. At this point I was a psycho goth boy who loved a beautiful goth masochist girl. Not to mention this psycho goth boy now enjoyed the taste of his girlfriend�s blood when he kissed her. I was insane, I loved violence and I had the will to kill everything that moved but�wasn�t this a bit much?

lol. Yeah I know I write alot. I might publish my works if it turns out good! Chapter 3 on the way everybody!!! :D

I never would have thought I'd like any of this shit but you're talented. Even with this stuff you make me want to read more and more.

heheheh. Thank you very much. Chapter 3 has been finished just going through some sweeps. Chapter 4 will be coming out later!

you're welcome! I'm waiting ;)

Chapter 3: Light Change

�We can make this work. I know we can. We have the money, we have the sources. And now we have the mind. You promise me that if we do this, we do it to the end. And make sure he knows nothing about it till the end.�

�What is the goal, Seth?�

�The law of the marshals and our lives under the boot of the true warriors.�

�Do you trust him yet?�

�Not yet. Dameon will look into that.�

�You realize if we do this, Dameon will not be on any side. He will take his psycho followers and do what he pleases.�

�I�m aware of that.�

We sat in English class wordless as ever. She wanted to speak with me but I felt speechless. The slit on my wrist was infected and I had been forced to go to the hospital and have it stitched. The trauma of having to explain to the doctors that it was an accident. People at those places don�t have much trust in youth�s that stride into the emergency room all dressed in black with slit wrists.

I was upset that my mother believed I needed medication. I informed her I would not take it for I was not troubled. Which was the truth. I was more alive than ever. Besides the fact that every time I swallowed my saliva I could still feel the memory of thick blood. I never believed that anger and depression were the same thing. So taking depression drugs would do absolutely nothing.

�You have not said a word to me today, Deronik�� she moved her hand over my leg like she always did. By now I didn�t go crazy when she did it, I was used to it. I still felt a lot of emotion in some way. It opened me up to her. Having the feeling of a woman there loving me, and wanting to know what was wrong with me. When my mother tried that I always pushed her away. It was too much for me for some reason. Rachel was just so far away from Family. When I was with my family I felt fake and doubled. As if life was so simplistic. With Rachel I felt as if I had fallen into the dream I had always dreamt about. Interestingly most people�s nightmare was my dream.

�What were you trying to do to me?� I asked, feeling the taste on the back of my throat.

She looked at me with a dazed look, �What do you mean?� Rachel moved her head and gazed at the top of the room to see the clock. It coming close to ringing bell.

�I�m still probably digesting your blood.� I said, putting my hand in my pockets to make sure every thing was there. I took the pencil off my desk and put it in my pocket and then got my bag ready to go.

She turned her head to me and grinned, �You will see.�

�No�I won�t. That didn�t excite me.� Suddenly the bell rang. Rachel stood up before me and as she did she looked down.

She paused and then said, �I know you liked it. You just need to realize it,� I stood up to meet her eyes, �Come with me right now to Seth�s house. Ryan and John are probably there.�

�I�ll think about it.� I said, throwing the strap to my bag over my shoulder.

Rachel moved close to me and rapped her arms around me. �No you won�t. You�re coming. And if you�re lucky you might meet Dameon. And if you�re even luckier�� she looked up at me with those eyes. Those persuasive eyes and just gazing into them I had to just give in. I rapped my arms around her in return and held her close.

�All right. Let�s go then,� I suggested, moving my arms away giving her a chance to move hers, �is Seth going to be there?� Rachel stepped out of the desk rows and headed down the column towards the door. She had persuaded me so easily. I always wondered if she really understood how much power she had over me.

�He will be back later tonight.� We headed out of the classroom and through the crowed hallways. Again we took the same old streets towards Seth�s house. We could have taken the subway but Rachel always liked to do her little dances down the street. Shrieking with energy and prancing around me. The worst was when other guys saw us. They would always cry out, �FUCKING LOSERS!!!�

After a long trip of hyperactive energy we arrived at Seth�s place. Rachel went before me, flinging open the door and heading inside. I followed her in and headed right into the main living room. There sitting on the couch was Ryan, and an older boy I had never seen before. Ryan had a cigarette in his mouth and he was doing something with his hands. He saw me and stood up, with a huge excited look.
�Deeeerrrooonnniik!!� he walked over to me and gave me a sort of guy buddy hug and quickly released. He pulled the cigarette out of his mouth, �Deronik, this is John. John, Deronik.�

�Cool name.� John said, nodding his head slowly.

�Come in man, come in. Sit we�re rolling some J�s.� I proceeded over next to Rachel looking at the cigarette in Ryan�s mouth. This was the feeling. I had officially been hooked. I refrained from going over to the pack left on the table and taking one since I realized it was Seth�s German cigarettes.

�Aren�t those Seth�s cigarettes?� I asked, collapsing on the couch, letting my arm fall over Rachel. She moved into a cuddle with me as usual.

�Yeah but he has 200 of them. He doesn�t care.� I noticed a humorous concerned look come over Ryan�s face. John laughed and headed down towards the table, picking up one of the already rolled joints. He inspected it carefully.

�We should buy 20 sacks more often. This is going be the night. Wanna join in, Deronik?� John asked, bending back down and placing the joint on the table.

I looked over at John. �Nah I don�t feel like it tonight.� I was lying of course; I really did feel like it. My mother however was becoming suspicious.

John laid back and laughed, �It�s okay man, more for us.� I gave him a faint smile and just proceeded to lay back from my social position. I relaxed and returned Rachel�s proximity. Ryan looked over at me and gave me a neutral sort of nod. I then noticed him looking at Rachel�not just Rachel, her lip. She had a bandage from the bite I�d accidentally given her. He then looked back at me, and then down at my wrist where there was a large bandage rapped around. I became fully aware of what he was thinking so I hid my hand in a spot on the couch so he wouldn�t glare.

�It�s okay, man. You�re one of us now. We all do it eventually.� He said, laughing. I saw John nodding in agreement but I kept a blank face.

After a while I became anxious. I wanted to meet the boy who painted that beautiful work of art. Oh I yearned to meet him so much. �So�is Dameon coming over?� I asked, looking at the two males being oblivious.

Ryan bent over and picked up the rolled marijuana and sat back. �Dameon doesn�t �come� over. If you leave at 10:00 tonight and take the subway you might see him. That is if he wants you to see him.�

�That�s kinda odd�� I stated, looking at Ryan oddly.

�That�s kinda, Dameon.� He replied. I watched as John handed Ryan a lighter. Ryan took the filter of the joint into his mouth and lit up. He took a few hits and then handed it to John. �Wow that was good�� Ryan patted his chest with a smile on his face. He gazed back at me; �You will meet Dameon in the oddest way. I guarantee it. Just remember that he will talk to you.�

John and Ryan finished their daily exercise and then began to ramble on to each other, occasionally asking us a random question. I nudged Rachel and waited till she looked up at me. I gave her the indication that I was rather bored and yearning for her lips. She returned to me a smile and then broke away from the cuddle. Standing up, Rachel grabbed me and pulled me up as well.

�We will be back in 1 hour boys.� Rachel declared, pulling me out of the room. As I just about made it out the door I heard Ryan and John, laughing and screaming. I caught two phrases which happened to be, �THEY ARE GONNA FUCK! RIGHT ON DERONIK!� They mixed this with laughter and high five�s.

�Umm�Rachel the bed room is that way!� I said as she pulled towards the kitchen. I noticed she was heading for the basement door. And of course I was right, she was. She swung it open and headed down forcing me to follow. There was dim light shinning from a light bulb at the far end of the room.

Rachel walked over to the wall where there were two switches. She turned one off. The entire room was pitch black. I remained unaffected. I liked the dark, even in a room that would seem terrifying to most other people. Frankly�I felt warm and comfortable. I heard a flick. And suddenly the entire room was flooded with the feeling of hot stinging red light. It was in fact a series of red lamps that were generally used for plants.

I saw Rachel move over to me. She placed her hand on my chest and the other one moved down. �I need to finish what I left off.� She said, moving her hand further down.

I knew what she meant and I became a bit worried. �No�I can�t Rachel�it�s too much.� I said, feeling her hand move downwards to my pants.

�Not for long.� Those words just turned me on. Turned me right on and I had no choice but to react to them. I was about to resist even more but I just had to give into her. It was too much and besides, could her actions really be that terrible? Nothing bad could come directly from this. So that is what I did. Before I knew it she was kissing me and she had my pants undone and was proceeding with a hand job. It felt so amazing I couldn�t even think straight. I noticed her breaking her kiss. She pulled her unused hand up to her face and used the sharp end of a ring to split the other side of her lip open.

Again it was back into the kissing. Then there it was. That nasty feeling of blood was filling my mouth. It was repulsive and I tried to pull away again but there she was, pulling me back and increasing her rhythm. More and more blood came out and every time it slowed she would tongue it or bite it to start it again. Eventually my entire my mouth was full of blood. I had to do something and anything but swallow it. So I pushed it into her mouth but instead I got her while her lips were closed. The thick red fluid squeezed its way out the sides and quickly rolled down my face and her�s alike.

I felt my self-swallowing some of it and I had to ask the question. How much blood could one person have? It took a while like the night before. And alike the night before, the same thing happened. And then it hit. I became aggressive and willing. I forced the kisses instead of received. As I came closer to that heightened feeling I felt my self, breathing out of my nose intensely. My mouth began to fill with blood again and as it did I felt my self-coming closer and closer. It was an incredible feeling and the taste of blood in my mouth was now being forgotten. It was there in my mouth. Her kiss and her blood, the flavor was erotic and left me in ecstasy.

Finally it happened. I came quickly and I practically blanked out. It was so incredible I couldn�t see properly. All I could do was let Rachel guide me down to the ground. She laid me down and then pilled on top of me and I lay there totally dazed. Finally I came too and noticed she was lying on me, gazing at me with her beautiful eyes and smiling at me.

�It�s done�,� she said, letting her hand move up to my chest. Rachel let her hand rest on my necklace as usual.

I looked at her with a more understanding look, �I think I know what you mean now��

�We will check it in an hour. I�m sure it worked though. Did you swallow any of it?� she asked me, letting her fingers dance on my chest.

�Yeah�I did.� I noticed down her chin there was a tint of red from the drops of blood that rolled down her face. I had at that feeling though. The feeling of guilt at the back of your mind. I didn�t know why it was there but it was. It was there like the first time I ever had an orgasm. After the first time I felt guilty, like I committed a sin. Which I later found out was true. However; that is the interesting thing about sinning, it can become addictive. Especially lust oh can it be ever so appreciated. The feeling guilt soon faded since there laying on me was Rachel. When she was there close to me my heart fell at rest. I was at peace in my mind and in my body. As if nothing would or could go wrong. Only thing was every time Rachel got up from her closeness she would take a part of me with her and I would feel vengeful for a short time.

And then comes to the important note. Every time she would leave me even if it was just to be one foot away, it would always play back in my mind. That painful fact of life that I just couldn�t bare. �All good things come to an end.� It always creeping around in the back of my mind. As if it was secretly always trying to jump me and take away every thing I had gained.

�Deronik�� my train of thought was broken. I looked down to see her with a look full of anxiety. �Do you remember that day I came over to your place. The second time when we went into your room��

�Sort of. We did that many times,� I looked at her strangely. She wanted to say something important but she kept pausing and her words lingered into nothing.

�Promise me you wont get mad when I tell you this,� her hand went further up and her finger slowly went across my cheek and then back down again.

It was a godly feeling. Every time she did something like that I felt like I was her guardian angel, and she was my dark goddess. I always preferred to look at it that way. I never was interested in the classical male dominance role. In some ways I always yearned for her to be more dominant. And that�s what I liked so much about her, she always was. And it wasn�t like I was the girl or anything. She was in control but I was just her protector. I was there for her every command. �I promise. I would never get mad with you.�

Rachel moved her body upward till she was face to face with me, �When I was in your room I found some of your papers.�

My stomach went weird when she said that. Nobody had ever read my ideas. Not because they were never interested but I didn�t want them too.

�I took the ones that were under the binder.� She had found them. The game. She had found the game. �I showed them too Seth�and that�s why he wanted you to come over. He wishes you to go through with it.�

�Rachel�my fantasies�are my fantasies,� I said, beginning to feel very tense.

Rachel moved her head closer to me till her lips were lingering close to mine. She spoke in a quiet, warm and intriguing voice, �What if we could make them happen though? You think it�s impossible�but you assume too much. If we could make them happen. Don�t you think that�s worth it?�

�Of course but I�m sorry�I don�t think you understand.� The edge of her lips grazed mine as I paused to begin my next sentence. This corrupted my train of thought and my stomach went weird like it used to. �It�s not�feasible�I mean��

�We can make it feasible.� She moved her lips even closer till they were fully brushing against mine. �Let me remind you, �We wake up every morning. We go to school or work. And we come back home. That�s our pathetic life. We risk some death but never think it. Like drones we repeat the same cycle.� You said that Deronik.� She was right. I did say that. And it was inspiring to almost no end but I needed her to complete her sentence. �You would reject an idea to be something more for what? Fear of it not working? We can make it work, my love. If we don�t do this then the pattern will continue. And we will remain drones involved in love and lust.�

It was a while before she convinced me. Every line I through out towards her, she just shot right back. And not only that, now and then she would move in and kiss me. She was good at corrupting my thoughts. Always she had control over me. And as always, she knew she had that control. And she never ceased to use it.

�What do you want me to do then?� I asked, gazing at her through her beautiful eyes.

She smiled at me, �Do what you wanted to do. Tonight leave at 10:00 and be at the subway by 10:05. You will meet Dameon sometime tonight or tomorrow morning.�

�WHAT THE FUCK?� that was all we heard coming from above. I recognized that voice. It was Seth�s voice. I immediately figured he had come home early and caught Ryan smoking his cigarettes. The door at the top of the stairs flung open. �I WARNED YOU RYAN! I WARNED YOU! YOU�RE SLEEPING IN THE FUCKING BASEMENT.� Ryan came sliding down the stairs head first and belly up. The door slammed shut and the sound flooded the basement.

We watched as Ryan stood up quickly and run to the top of the stairs. He attempted to open it but it was locked. Ryan proceeded down the stairs laughing and then sighing every few steps. He looked towards us to see Rachel�s arms rapped around me with her lips only 1 inch from my face.

�No offense guys but I don�t really like this plant light fucking with my eyes�kind of creepy you know?� Ryan walked over to the wall and turned off the red light and turned on the regular light. �Don�t mind me Deronik; I�ll just be ogling your girl friend while you do your thrust in thrust out thing.�

I looked at Ryan to see him with a serious look, staring directly at me. ��I think we are�done now.� I said, looking back at Rachel to see her giggling. I stood up and took Rachel�s hand, helping her up as well. �Enjoy your night, Ryan.� We both proceeded to head up the stairs.

�Oh no�don�t go! At least give me 5 minutes of live pornography! Come on!� Ryan dropped to his knee�s, �I�m not on my knee�s begging you please I�m going to be hear all night at least give me something to jerk off too!� Ryan put his hands together and began to beg but we just continued to head up the stares.

�Too much info, Ryan.� Rachel replied, adding her usual giggle to the end of it. Rachel knocked on the door, �Seth it�s Rachel, open up.� We waited a bit till the door was unlocked and then opened. Ryan looked up to see it being opened. Seth was at the door and he smiled at both of us as we passed him. Ryan scurried up the stairs and before he could make it out Seth shut the door on him. Seth�s hand turned the key in the door, locking it shut.

�SETH!! AT LEAST GIVE ME A BLANKET MAN!� Ryan cried, pounding on the door.

Seth looked in the doors direction, �I WARNED YOU! YOU SMOKE MY CIGARETTES YOU�RE GONNA PAY FOR IT. NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP OR I�LL DO TO YOU WHAT I DID THE OTHER NIGHT.�

Ryan went quiet and just after the silence we heard foot steps going down the stairs. �What did he do to him the other night?� I asked, making sure I whispered. I watched Seth turn around in our direction and look at me. He had heard me.

Seth laughed, �I got bored so I locked him in the basement for 2 days.� He began to laugh again then added, �And then to top that off I played a sound clip of a guitar making 3 different sounds. Together they make people feel sick because they are so wrong together. I played that for his sentence.�

I began to laugh as well, ��did he do anything to deserve that?�

�Nah. I just do that to him now and then to show him who�s boss. He doesn�t care in the long run.� Seth grinned and walked over to a cupboard. He pulled out a box of crackers and began to pull them out one by one, shoving them in his mouth. �Worst thing I ever did to him was force Cody down there with him.� Seth burst out laughing.

�Who�s Cody?� I asked. It flashed back to me. One of the names on the table.

Seth put the crackers away and walked up to Rachel. He wrapped his arms around her and let his head rest on the top of her�s. Now I realized how tall he really was. �A really really, horny bisexual guy.�

I found Seth to be creatively cruel in some ways. I began to laugh at the thought of this event. �Did Cody do anything?�

�Well I made sure for the first 4 hours the only liquid that went down there was 20% and up.� Once again there was Seth�s laugh. It wasn�t as if he took pleasure in the pain of others. It was as if he took pleasure�or even arousal in the thought of torturing people by controlling them and forcing them to do things. Like a rapist who paid other people to do his job for him, then give him the exact details.

�Mind I ask a question?� I was being very cautious of what I said. Seth nodded in allowance. �If you do this to the people that you take care of, why do they stay with you?�

�Let�s go into the living room. I fucking hate standing.� Each of us headed into the living room and greeted John. When we all were settled Seth continued. �Well I got lots of children that�s for fucking sure. To be frank, every one of my children I saved their lives. Ryan; some guy was gonna rape him. It was hilarious but I knew the guy would kill Ryan once he was done with him so I walked up where he was about to do it, I broke his nose and crushed his sack with my boot. If there is one feeling you will never forget it�s stepping on a guys sack. But the guy was a fucking dirty old man he deserved it.� Seth gave John a high five.

�How did you manage to see that happening?� I asked, looking at Seth with a sort of suspicious look.

�It happens all the time. I always am faced with watching people either hurting them selves, hurting other people or being victims. I just one day got fucking tired of it and fucking started helping these people out. Can I tell him your story John?� Seth Asked. I looked over and watched John nod with a sort of dissatisfaction. �Alright well a bunch of guys were about to beat up John. I stepped in and took out three guys in like seven moves. One guy drew a knife, I disarmed him of it and winded him.�

�You�disarmed�him of it? You make it sound easy.� To me this was all sounding a bit weird but I kind of tried to keep up to par. Seth was a very believable male and I knew he wasn�t lying just by the way he talked.

Seth laughed, �thirteen years of two different martial arts and a combination of street fighting make you one kick ass fighter.�

�Which two martial arts?� I was starting to become much more interested in Seth as I began to realize he was in short, a hard core combat fanatic.

�Hap-kito and Karate. Don�t be fooled though. Twelve years of those two will do fucking nothing for you on the streets.� Seth took a long breath, preparing for another one of his long speeches of profanity filled wisdom. �Unless; weapons are involved. You need to have twelve years of street experience with combining your training. That way you systematically work out which move will be best when this person is doing this. In Karate some times they teach you how to stop a guy if he does this or how to wind a guy but in the reality, if the guy weights more than you, you�re fucked. I mean he just gets you in a lock and you�re done. With knives thought it�s just fun. Fucking junkies on the street are such morons. The guy who pulled one on me, he jabbed it at me. I just pulled to the side, locked my arm around his wrist, and twisted it till the knife fell out, pulled him close quickly and kneed him in the stomach.� There it was again. Seth laughing.

�Any guy ever stood a chance against you?� I asked, looking over at Rachel to see her looking back at me.

�Of course. Tons of guys where I train can kick my ass. Some of these guys can kick you three times in the face before you even figured out what happened. And they�re not week baby kicks. They are fucking painful kicks. Some of these guys have kicks that shatter cement. They get banned if they kick somebody with one of those but they can do it.� Seth smiled in pride, as if he felt so happy that he was under the wings of the best. Not to mention flying high over any junkie that challenged him.

�Well any guy who�s not at your training place?� I moved closer to Rachel and held her close. She moved as close as she could to me.

�Well let me put it this way. I met one of my children with out saving their lives. Like hard-core gothic kid. When he walked he sounded like a dump truck full of metal it was so loud. He dropped one of his bracelets so I gave it back to him. I asked him a few questions and he seemed really interesting. The kid was emotionally dead though. Like he only ever had humor when he talked about hurting people. I�m like that but he was more. He kind of liked me though, from the start. Like enjoyed my company. So I took him as one of my children.� Seth smiled as he thought about it.

�That�s great but what does that have to do with beating you in fighting?� I noticed John pulling out a pack of his own cigarettes. I hinted to him I wanted one. He tossed it over to me and I got it with my right hand. I drew out a lighter from my pocket and lit it up.

Seth grinned, �You wouldn�t see it in him but the kid was a demon fighter. He just hit every place that hurt and he was quick. I couldn�t get him in a lock because he just was so damned fast. And he had specialty moves not to mention the kid was flexible as hell. I didn�t think this was possible but I managed to get him in a lock but he kicked me in the face. It was fucked up. And the kid was like precise in his spinning. Not to mention he was a fanatic with a knife a fucking commando he was.� Seth pulled him self-closer to me and took the cigarette out of my mouth. I was pissed off like taking a bone away from a dog. He put it out and then drew out one of his German cigarettes. He lit it up and then handed it to me.

��Thanks man.� I en hailed it and oh deadly lord was it strong. It was like breathing fire. However; the flavor backed by it was more than worth it. The texture of the cigarettes he smoked was beautiful. And the strength actually had it�s own edge. �That�s really good. So who was this kid?�

�The demon fighter, the white devil, Satan�s child. All different nick names for him. His real name though is Dameon.� There it was once again. Another thing to admire about Dameon. I had to meet him. It was 9:45 and I was going to follow the exact instructions to meet him.

�Anyway. With John I took him in and let him live here because his father was beating him. Ryan, John and Noah live here. Ryan is 16, Noah is 18 and John�� Before Seth could complete his sentence John butted in.

�Is 16. John is 16,� John smirked, wallowing in his own pride for beating Seth to his own personal information. Seth laughed and whacked John on the back of the head.

�Noah�isn�t that�?� Rachel began her own sentence.

�You have to meet Noah, Deronik. She writes like you do. She�s my sister.� I remember Rachel mentioning a sister named Noah. It was odd to me. Her parents would give my girlfriend the name Rachel and her sister the name Noah. One name sounded beautiful, the other sounded oh so plain. �She got kicked out of the house. Which I�m about too soon. So I�ll be living here as well. Yay!� Rachel got a smirk on her face. It seemed as if Seth�s house was the center for disturbed, depressed, violent, homicidal and angst filled teenagers.

�Well I think it might be good I leave now. I really wish to meet Dameon and it�s 10:00.� I stood up and Rachel stood up to greet me as usual.

�All right man. Nice talking to you.� Seth stood up as well and greeted me. I had just remembered that I had left that cigarette he gave me burning on the ashtray next to the couch. I looked back and noticed it was gone and only the butt remained. I felt sad but just forgot about it quickly.

Seth walked over to me and gave me a sort of buddy hug. It was quite popular between the males in this household so attempted to get used to it.

�Nice to meet you, John.� I said, shaking his hand.

�Like wise, Deronik.� John pulled out the remote from under the couch and turned the television on.

�A friendly reminder, Deronik. Dameon is a very unpredictable person. Be careful or you will loose any trace of being a good person. He will drag you into a New World, and do it quickly. First day you meet. Second you talk. Third you chill. Fourth you kill. Remember that.� I wasn�t scared. Dameon sounded like the guy who was going to liberate me. After all I still had to deal with babbling ignorant morons at school. Might as well learn from the best on how to deal with them. Still I was wondering if Seth was really serious about the, �kill� part. Had Dameon killed somebody before? It was moving around in my head uncontrollably.

I reviewed what I had accomplished that night. Which were two things. First I had gained a new appreciation for enjoying the taste of my beautiful female partners blood. Two, I had learned that I was becoming one of Seth�s children. It sounded quite lame in some ways but I just felt like falling into the fantasy. I didn�t bring up Orion with Seth. Eventually I would but I was still shocked that people enjoyed my idea. Maybe it would work. Maybe I would finally get my chance to just feel alive by destroying restrictions in the only restricted place left in my world.

god you're good... care teaching me? lol

okay, that's it, I've been waiting long enough, go and post.
........
what are you waiting for?
POST!
please?

SORRY!!! Been away at camp for a month. Chapter 4 nearly done. WIll post when completed.

thank you! :p seriously though, i was scared that you abandoned this story, that would be a crying shame :notgood: ;)

Chapter 4: Dameon

The worst feeling I could ever get was the horrid ache of change. It lingered in my stomach every time I tried to change what I was experiencing for the better fantasy in my mind. At this point in time I was quite sure it really was fear. The thought of causing pain and suffering on people was quite suitable for my mind and it sat it self with welcoming hands in my imagination. Only problem was I still had expectation from some people who still cared.

There I was just walking down the dark street. Trying to conceive of what was coming my way. Of course thousands of possibilities were going through my head; what was going to happen, what I was going to say if that did happen, who I was going to shoot in the head. It was obvious now that I could not try and shape the perfect building blocks to achieve the ending I wanted. Even if the ending happened it was never satisfying simply because I never said those great dramatic words and sentences.

I guess the largest thing on my mind was if I was going to meet Dameon. The second one down was, �I need a cigarette.� Cigarettes surprising enough made me much calmer. I felt more in control when I was voluntarily slowly murdering my self with out a care. As I said before though, I wasn�t going live long enough to be affected by smoking diseases so I kind of shrugged it off.

I just strolled down the street to the subway passing a person here and there. I tried to avoid the large groups of younger people due to my past experiences. I got to the subway entrance and I pulled out my spare change. I made sure it was exact and I walked through the gates, tossing my change into the box while trying my best to ignore the subway guard. I always hated how when I would look at them they would feel obligated to stop me and ask me questions. �What school are you from?� and �Where did you just come from?� or some pathetic line like �Don�t fuck around.� Believe me, they never asked it politely. They always had that lowly firm adult tone, as if they actually believed they were in control. Times like those I wish I could cut their throat open and deliver their carcass to the subway head quarters building. With a message saying, �Terribly sorry to disturb you. I would like to inform you of the actions, which will be taken pawn your fellow employee�s when they show a slight degree of rude attitude. As you can see here is a perfect example. Good day.�

I waited for the subway patiently. Leaning against the long wall of white tiles and standing on the marble floor. I made perfectly sure I never made eye contact with other passengers. I could always see them looking at me. It wasn�t as if I was stunningly good looking or anything. Obviously it was the goth soldier look I had put my self into. I guess though I never blamed them. After all a 15 year old child totally dressed in black with metal hanging off him where ever it could walking around in public. What a horrible thing to see. Horrible for the arrogance as I would put it.

I arrived on my home street. I noticed I still had not seen another boy looking like me. Thus I had not met Dameon yet. So I just headed home with out waiting to see. A very weird feeling and thought that kept coming over me was when I thought of Rachel. It was a relatively amazing feeling to have some body showing you dark affection. Some people were scared of it, some people thought it was stupid and angst like. I enjoyed it my self it was rather exhilarating.

Sure enough I was in my bed before I knew it. I figured by then I would not be meeting Dameon that night. I could not sleep properly as the fact remained that my mind was rushing with thoughts as usual. For over an hour I just laid in bed thinking about everything I could. I looked around at my room and then remembered the conversation with Rachel earlier. I wanted to confirm that those plans were really missing. I looked over at my desk towards the drawers. I stood up and turned on the light with the flick of the switch on the wall. I proceeded over to the desk and opened up the drawer. I tried to find my papers but of course everything was there except Orion. It had everything about it on those 9 pieces of paper and she had it. I didn�t try and get it back from her and I knew I should have. I my self had slightly forgotten some of the aspects and rules of the game. I thought for a second and just headed back to my bed.

Old events were coming into my head and then I recalled a life-changing event. One I did not like to think of much. It is probably what started this train of depressing moments.

I remembered my father. I guess I was lucky to see him while he was still alive. Unfortunately that luck involved weekly drunken frenzies, as he would come home wasted. Of course all of his problems were piled up and all he could think of was blaming it on people. And, understandably he could not go start a conflict with somebody else like a friend or even a perfect stranger. No it didn�t work like that. That sort of action was in proper. Instead he took it out on his beloved children with the iron fist technique. Oh I can sarcastically go on for hours about how what he did was the right thing.

I guess the worst time�s was when he used words. He would throw me into a wall and keep me there, �YOU THINK PEOPLE LIKE YOU? NOBODY FUCKING LIKES YOU! DID YOU EVER REALIZE THAT? IT�S THE ONLY TRUTH WITH YOU AND I�M GONNA SAY THIS OUT FRONT. I DON�T LIKE YOU ITHER AND LIKE HELL I�M GOING TO RAISE A FAGGOT SON!�

Before any slight resolution could be solved with my father and me he was killed in a helicopter accident. They did not say where or when or of course, why. I lost my brother and my father in the army and both because of vehicles. They gave us all of the details about my brother. I didn�t rightfully understand how my mother went on. Probably because she wanted to see to it that I got through.


It was the very next day and I found my self-skipping out on school with Rachel. We felt like proceeding with anything anywhere. Of course Rachel decided so we headed onto one of the busy streets downtown. Rachel would just run into each store excited out of her mind of what she was going to see. I walked in with a blank expression and my hands deep inside my pockets pretending I barely knew her. Of course it was obvious we were together. That day she was quite obviously the extreme depressed excited type. I really didn�t fit the extreme profile. None of the nail polish or lipstick for me. Nor the pail white make up. I just enjoyed dressing like a dark soldier. Quite my style I always felt. I always saw my self as I walked down the street cinematically. Like the beautiful shot to a movie where the true villain emerges. The one that was equal to the hero just on opposite ends. Always my favorite image. Wind crossing my hair and feeling it blow out of my face.

I finally crossed a store of my interest. �Extreme Home Defense.� The windows were covered up and so was the door disallowing any vision into the store. I looked at Rachel and grinned. Her gaze showed a slight look of pride and predictability. As if she knew this would happen. I headed in and for once she followed quietly. It was like falling into paradise. A homeowners dream. I could tell you so many words but none described what I was feeling. There was the front desk at one side of the room and across the walls hung firearms. None were automatic of course. Hand guns, rifles, shot guns and semi automatic weapons were hanging on the walls just out of arms reach near the ceiling.

Every model I was in love with was behind glass at the front counter. I didn�t even make eye contact with the store owner I just walked right up and let my eyes feast. On display was an AK-47 and directly below it was an M-16. It didn�t look like the newer M-16. Obviously both were semi-automatic. �Do you carry automatic weapons?� I looked up at the store owner while asking this question. He had a suspicious look but I didn�t care.

�You need special permits for those. You show me those permits I�ll show you those guns. Other wise get out of my store. I�m not dealing firearms to children, especially freak children.� The store owner made my stomach cringe. However I couldn�t say I was very surprised.

I looked at him blankly and then let the words come out, �I just wanted to look.�

�Well look some where else. And what part of get out of my store don�t you understand? GET OUT� He screamed. Rachel grabbed me by the hand and tugged me backwards. I turned around and made eye contact with her. I could see she wanted to leave and I guess we had no choice. I felt like gutting that fat army dry out but I could see now he was well not worth my time. Rachel walked out in front of me and I looked back and could see the store owner was still glaring at me.

We both walked further down the street. In my stomach I could feel the rush and I had hoped so much that I would have fixed eyes with my most beloved gun. I doubt that pathetic oaf would have carried it anyway. Too high class for a fat slob like him.

I was unfortunate to continue on walking at that time. For just a few minutes after we continued I lit up a cigarette. We walked at a steady pace until my hand reached up and drew a cloud of smoke into my lungs slowly. As I was doing this I noticed a memorable face walking towards me. Looking right at me. I instantly realized who it was. His name was very simply, �Lark.� I knew him as the popular child through out my miserable academic career. I also knew him by the words, push�s and punch�s he through out at me my whole life. I was the target to be made fun of and he made sure I was bright yellow for everybody to see.

He saw the cigarette in my mouth and just looked directly at me as he walked by. I noticed he was giving me a look of superior pity. I believe there were two reasons to that look. One was the miniature long white brown tipped staff in my mouth. Two was Rachel at my side. Both he saw as pathetic attempts to be�.well in his sarcastic tone of voice, �cool.� Hopefully I would not have to deal with that later. I guess it didn�t matter though.

As we were about to call it quits and go over to Seth�s house; we ran into yet another one of Rachel�s guy friends. His name was Roger and he was a very calm person. My first impression of him was calm, nice and wise. Mind you when I say wise I don�t mean, �I get straight A�s in school wise� I mean street smarts he knew what he was doing and he knew how to instruct other people what to do. He was the sort of guy who just did not need to introduce him self to anybody. Friends with popular people, friends with losers it didn�t matter to him he saw everybody as really the same. Rachel and him conversed about small things here and there and I kept quiet. Filling in my profile of him.

He ended the conversation with, �Hey do you and your friend��

�Boy friend.� Rachel added.

Roger looked at me and gave me the same look Ryan and John had given me. �Of course�boy friend.� He said in a very none sarcastic tone, �Well do you and your �boy friend� want to come to the park with me? Meeting up with some friends to get high. You can join if you want.�

Rachel smiled at Roger and then a suspicious look came on her face �Which friends?�

�Nobody you want to scrap with. Dominic, Sarah, Ryan and the demo crew.� Roger nodded his head after he finished his statement.

�Demo crew?� I asked as I gazed at Roger with curiosity.

Roger laughed, �A group of like�four stoners who like to set things on fire. We gave them the name after they caused last years forest fire.�

�Okay, we will come. We�re going right over to Seth�s house after so it doesn�t matter.� Rachel said, taking my hand into hers with excitement. Every time something unpredictable happened she would get all jumpy and happy.

I followed both Roger and Rachel since they both seemed to know where they were going. As usual I just kept quiet. I enjoyed observing the situation. After all even after over two months of all this it was still rather exciting. I guess it�s hard to understand why this never happened before in my life. In my opinion I have always been and still am, very anti social. I never tried to evaluate my self and figure out why I was so anti social. Mainly because I actually enjoyed being quiet. When people actually want to talk to you with a positive attitude and you just don�t tell your side of the story they some times like to warm up to you. Nobody ever did it to me simply because when they explained their life, I would kind of look away and make seem as if I did not care. To be down to the personal facts, I didn�t care. I really never cared about anybody else. Honestly, before I met Rachel I only really cared about my self and my mother. �Fuck everybody else.� I always said.

Here I was standing in a park full of a bunch of people I didn�t know. Only one familiar face was there and obviously I was a familiar face too. Ryan looked at me and smiled. He stood right up and there in his mouth was either a cigarette or a joint. I couldn�t tell but I could see he had an angry face. He walked up to me and Rachel and Roger began to converse with other people in the crowd. Now I realized it was a spliff and he quickly pulled it out of his mouth to talk. �Deeeerrrrrronnnnnik! My friend you�re my idol now. The one guy who actually likes the basement so much he can�� before Ryan could finish his statement Rachel kicked him in the shin with all her might. Ryan let out a loud yelp and Rachel looked at him with an angry grin.

�FUCK!� he screamed. �WHAT THE FUCK RACHEL! I have the right to blurt what you two did to whom ever I want. Do you have any fucking clue what I found on the ground when I had to sleep down there? I�m not fucking kidding when I say I�ll take a bat to both your heads if you don�t learn how to clean up!�

�It�s nothing you don�t swallow twice a day, Ryan.� One of the guys blurted out. The four guys I didn�t know began to laugh. And the one girl stood there giving Ryan a pathetic look.

Roger looked over at the boy who just spoke, �Leave Ryan alone, Josh. You would be saying something to if you rolled in a white surprise.�

Josh looked at Roger and I could still see that Roger�s word went a long way, �Sorry�I just can�t stand to hear him bitching all the time.�

�He doesn�t bitch all the time you just don�t like him. And it pisses me off when you two scrap so don�t say anything in the first place.� Roger walked over to the bench and sat down. He drew a cigarette from his ear and lighter from his pocket.

�Yeah. You heard him. Fuck off Josh.� Ryan stated, looking at the boy across from him straight on.

�Why don�t you�� before Josh could finish Roger jumped right in.

�Ryan I just stood up for you. The least you could do is just stop. So do your self-a favor. Smoke your spliff or go suck a fat dick before I throw you a fucking beating.� My mind kind of wanted this to stop as well. I was pleased to watch Roger control everything verbally with no problems but that didn�t change the fact that I came to smoke weed.

Ryan then began to light his cigarette. He accomplished his task and looked towards me, �Ohhhh right�. Forgot you�re a newbie. You kind of fit right in. Besides the whole black and metal look you got going. Deronik, I�m honored to introduce to you the demo crew.� Roger pointed with his cigarette to another guy very tall guy, �That�s the tech guy, spin. Guy knows a shit load about bombs and guns but he�s too much of a chicken shit to use it when he�s not stoned.�

Spin laughed and looked over at me, �Pleasure to meet you�guy with a weird name.� I smiled at what he said. It didn�t really bother me since he said it with a very friendly tone.

�This here is my pride and joy.� Roger pointed towards another guy who was close to me. �This is the demo crew�s maniac who we all just love.�

�Psychologically proven to be an official pyromaniac, thank you very fucking much. And damn proud of it.� The boy said with a huge smirk of pride across his face, �Nice to meet you, Deronik. Now tell me�what is my name?�

�I don�t know�what is your name?� I asked him with a lack of emotion.

�Come on just guess it�s not hard.�

��.umm.� I said the first name that could come to mind which related with his status, �Pyro?�

The boy smiled and raised his arms high, �YES!!! YES YES YES!!! FIRST FUCKER TO GET IT RIGHT!� He screamed, looking around at everybody.

�Are you really a pyromaniac?� I asked wondering if it was really true.

His arms slowly started to drop and a fake frown came over his face, �I took an online test and it told me so�� He burst out laughing and so did the other two people.

�Okay and you already know Josh. He�s the lowly tag along stoner.� Josh looked at Roger and gave him the finger.

�Go to hell Roger.�

�Not with out you.� Roger winked at Josh.

Josh looked at him with disgust and made movements with his mouth as if he was disgusted. �Sorry man I don�t swing that way.�

�Well from what your father told me you were pretty rowdy with him the other night.� Roger laughed and so did everybody else. Josh�s voice came over the crowd of laughter with the words, �SHUT UP!�

Roger�s laughter slowly came to a halt and he began getting back to his introduction, �All right and the people outside of the demo crew. Just as fine members of the group. Here we have Sarah. Another big stoner.�

Sarah smiled at me and walked right up and gave me a hug, �Nice to meet you.� She said, letting her hug go. I didn�t really give her hug attention, since I didn�t know how sensitive Rachel really was to that area.

Spin grinned and put his hand over his mouth as he looked at Sarah�s back towards him. He made a sort of cough with an obvious hidden pair of words, �huhgh Nice Ass huhgh.�

A shocked pleased look came over Sarah�s face and she proceeded over and pushed Spin gently with a sort of flirting notion. Spin laughed and stepped forward, giving Sarah a hug. �Awwww� Sarah said with a serious tone of voice.

�Aright and finally this here is Dominic.� The one guy who stayed quiet the whole time. He had really dead brown hair which fell all the way down to the top of his shoulders. He had two lip rings and dressed in dark clothing. Not goth like but he was obviously very oblivious to the things around him. He nodded his head at me in recognition. Not really paying much attention to the fact that I was new.

After the conversing everybody began to smoke weed and make small talk, allowing the high to pull in. Eventually everybody just sat around making silly jokes. Even I laughed since I was very out of it. I stayed calm though. Very relaxed and laid back. Rachel had her self laid over me and I realized she had fallen asleep right on top of me, blitzed out of her mind.

�Hahaha. Wow�I don�t think we�re going over to Seth�s place.� I laughed the words out and looked up at Roger.

Even though he was also high he managed to put his wise words into play, �She�s tired. Take her home soon and go crash at a friends house.�

�Why would I crash at a friends house?� I asked, looking at him strangely while trying to keep my focus together.

�Oh. Sorry I�m not thinking. I don�t go home when I�m fucked. I go and crash at a friend�s house. For some reason friend�s parents don�t examine me like my own do. Oh well.� Roger laughed.

�How old is everybody here, Roger?� I asked in curiosity. I looked down at Rachel and couldn�t help but wonder how she slept so well. She even did this when she wasn�t stoned or drunk. Just passed out when she felt like it.

Roger looked around at everybody who were just laid back and quiet, �I never realized how lazy my people are.� Roger laughed again, �Poor fucks�Oh yeah. Well I am turning 17, and so is Sarah and Spin. Pyro is turning 16 and same with Josh. Dominic is turning 18 and Ryan is��

�I know how old Ryan is.� I said, before he could complete his sentence.

�You?� he asked. His head shifted so he had a good view of Sarah. Everybody was quiet and just making conversation to each other. More like stoner joke here joke there freaking out sort of conversation.

�Turning 16 in two weeks.� I replied.

Roger nodded with a smile on his face, �Cool.� He pointed towards Rachel, �Take her home man.� I had lost perception of time. It was around 7. We had been in the park for 3 hours constantly smoking. The first thing that came to mind was when my mother used to seriously worry when I didn�t call at 5:00. Now I don�t even give that petty phone call. I just come home when I want too and she still is happy to see me.

�I�ll come with, man.� Josh said, standing up. I looked at him with an odd expression and then just shrugged it off. I carefully and quietly woke up Rachel. Her eyes opened slowly and I could still tell they were filled with a dry red tint. She moaned with a frustrated tone.

�I�m taking you home now, Rachel.� I took her hand and pulled her to her feet. She wrapped her arm around to my left shoulder and hung off me to the right. I began to walk her out of the park and I looked behind to see Josh following. He speeded up and made him self aligned with Rachel and me.

�Yo�Deronik do you want to come chill at my place after you take her home? We can smoke some more weed in my room. I got T.V. and shit.� I didn�t know what Josh�s status was with me and I was hoping he was asking this purely to be social. I agreed to go with him and crash at his place for the night. We got on the subway and Rachel laid on my shoulder the whole way to our home stop. I took her directly to the front step of her house. She wrapped her arms totally around me and gave me a good night French kiss and then headed inside. I stood for a second as I watched her head in and then looked back to see John standing there.

�I envy you, Deronik.� Josh laughed, �To be getting that sort of pussy is just pure luck.� Josh said, grinning at me as I walked past him back down the path to the sidewalk.

Josh once again aligned him self with me and looked over at me. I kept my eyes straight on the sidewalk. �I don�t look at it that way.�

�What do you mean?� he asked. I looked over to my right to see somebody sitting on his or her porch with a cigarette in one hand. I felt the craving so I drew a pack of cigarettes from my pocket and grabbed the final one.

�I mean I don�t see my relationship with her as, �getting a lot of pussy.� I also like her as a person you know. Not just the aspect that she can spread her legs when we both feel like it.� I took the but of the cigarette in my mouth and pulled out a zipo lighter. With the cigarette in my mouth I squeezed out the last sentence, �I would more call it having sex or even better, making love.�

John laughed as I lit my cigarette, �You�re 15 man I would hardly call your relationship, love.�

�That�s your opinion.� I took a long drag and then inhaled and slowly exhaled as we continued to walk.

�Look man I�m sorry I don�t mean to come off as like a womanizing asshole or something.� Josh sighed and took a pause, �Just�trying to see what kind of a person you are is all.�

�It�s all right. I don�t mind so much I just enjoy putting out wise words every time I possibly can. Especially when I defend my girl friend.�

The rest of the way our conversation was decent. Josh was a decent fellow male but I wouldn�t talk to him about anything deep. His fascination was drugs, cars and for some reason, electricity. He enjoyed to shock him self with small amounts of electricity all of the time. He said it started after he recovered from an injury as a child. Mind you he claimed it wasn�t any accident. His sister was angry at him and dropped a blow dryer in the bathtub because he always used her shampoo. I guess this made him a good part of the demolition crew, which Roger never mentioned. He also claimed she was in a mental institution. I didn�t really believe much of what Josh said but I kept his story in my mind.

I nodded my head with recognition when I met his parents. I didn�t socialize to them, I was never good with adults. They said they were going out for the night and it was okay for me to stay over. Josh and me were planing to go over to Seth�s to pick up some weed and another package, which Josh refused to inform me of.

So till Josh�s parents left me and Josh headed up to his room passing a bunch of other opened doors. I followed him in and looked at the pure horror of his room. Clothing everywhere, 4 feet off the ground at least. I tried to ignore it. Even though I found it very unpleasant. The first thing that caught my eye was a desk with a brand new computer sitting on it. A screen saver with a bunch of green stick figures killing each other was left on. And the next thing I noticed was his TV on top of his dresser with a Play Station 2 set up vertically with a blue stand. And finally, a shelf, which stretched from wall to wall, filled with DVD�s, Playstation games, Playstation 2 games and few VHS�s. All of the movie�s he had were Anime and some of my favorite too.

�You ever use MSN?� Josh asked, looking over at me.

I laughed with a tone of self pity, �I don�t have a computer.�

�Good. You didn�t get hooked. MSN will take you and never let you go.� Josh said, sitting down at his computer.

�Nah. You will take you and never let you go. You simply can�t socialize with people in real life so you do it with a protective barrier.� I grinned and sat down on his bed, picking up a game magazine.

�You analyze a lot.� Josh said, clicking icons and opening music programs.

�Yeah. Keeps people simple so I don�t have to worry about what they say.�

�That�s depressing.� Josh clicked open a file and let it play.

�Such is life.� I replied, letting the music fade in. It wasn�t heavy metal at all. I didn�t mind it though. It was obviously a 60�s song and I enjoyed the guitar music. I never paid much attention to 60�s bands so I had no clue who was playing. It was a quick song and very mind jumping.

We sat quietly for a long time listening to music. I wanted to turn on the TV but I just felt like leaving it be till we got back. And then it happened. Josh�s parents finally left and me and him got ready to leave. Of course we waited about 10 minutes just to make sure they were long gone and we headed out.

Into the dark lonely streets we traveled to Seth�s house. I recognized when we got to his street and I felt at home for some reason. By now I confidently walked up to the door and flung it open with out even knocking. A lot of people on the street thought Seth�s house was a crack house run by a diverse group of people. Some freaks, some not. It was weird how Seth�s house attracted every sort of person to it and made everybody feel welcome. Not like happy welcome, like street nice to fucking see you welcome.

�YOU! Tonic you fucking fag don�t ever call your mom from my house again.� Seth walked up to me with a serious tone. �That woman waited till you left last time and then star sixty nined my ass. And believe me that 10 minute�s of my life was the worst sixty-nine I�ve ever been involved with. That woman would not stop asking me questions.�

�Sorry�she can be annoying.� I already knew what she asked so I didn�t try to find out. It was obvious what she wanted to know. At this point I think she thought of me as a depressed homosexual boy who was having a relationship with a guy in his 20�s. And yet she still just left me be. Now I know that she was just waiting.

We talked with Seth for a bit and at the end Seth handed Josh the weed and other package.

Ryan walked by and saw Josh standing in the hallway. �Get out of my house, fag.� Ryan stated, turning his back and walking into the kitchen.

Seth turned around and started booming his voice down the hall. �You shut the fuck up before I fuck you up the ass and leave you in the basement for another night.� Seth turned around and laughed. �All right guys enjoy your shit. Sorry about Dameon, Deronik. You might see him sooner or later. Probably sooner. Deronik drop by tomorrow around 7:00, we talk then.�

I nodded my head and proceeded out the door, looking around outside. Josh followed me out and Seth opened up the door. �By the way, here you go Tonic.� Seth handed me a peace of paper. I looked at it wondering what it was. I then noticed the shade of lead over it and I instantly realized what it was. I laughed and put it in my pocket.

�Thanks.� I said, walking out towards the sidewalk. I looked over to see Josh pulling out a cell phone from his pocket.

�Now all we need to do is deliver this package.� He turned it on and pressed a few buttons. The phone speed dialed and Josh put it up to his ear, ��hey. You at the forest?�.okay well I picked up the package�the park?�all right we�re heading over there now�.Deronik and me�.I think he�s okay with it.� Josh put his phone down and looked over at me. �You okay with meeting up with Dameon?�

What kind of a question was that? Of course I was okay. He was like my hero in this new world. I had to meet him. �Yeah. Fine with it.�

�He�s okay with it�.all right heading over there now. Oh yeah dude�don�t bring any of your friends please. They kinda scare me.� Josh turned off his phone and put it in his pocket.

�Okay Seth told me to make it a surprise but we�re meeting with Dameon for a few minutes. He ordered in for some Rocket Fuel a while ago. Seth had some trouble getting it till now.� Josh pulled the brown package out of his jacket and gazed at it.
I looked at Josh with the strangest look I could give him, �Umm�what would he want with�Jet fuel?�

�Oh�heh guess you don�t know full street terms yet. Umm..I kinda use old street slang. So in other words, Dameon ordered some Angel Dust, Ozone�umm heh Rocket Fuel. What ever you want to call it.� He placed the package back in his pocket.

I still gave him a strange look, �What is that?�

He laughed and paused, giving me a firm look, �You know�.Angel dust�.PCP??�

�You could have just said PCP.� I said with a frustrated tone.

�That don�t sound cool. Besides you should know your street slang.� Josh hit me in the shoulder with no warning.

I hit him back just as a reflex and he laughed, �I only recently got introduced to the streets. I was a loser till I met Rachel.�

Josh grinned, �You still are a loser.�

�I got steal toe boots on. Believe me you do not wish to get swiftly kicked by these.� I made a gesture like I was going to kick him.

There we were sitting in the park, just waiting. We kept are eyes on the entrance to the park and just kept chatting about random stuff. Our conversation lead into the many other people who were part of the group. Seth liked to think of it as an alliance of freaks. The group was huge and so huge that there was over 10 different drama�s going on at once. Fortunately as long as Seth, Roger, Dameon and this other guy named Eveliant stayed in control, everything was okay. Those were the four wise people of the group�s. Unfortunately Dameon and Eveliant did not like each other either. They kept their distance but it was an odd sort of anger between the two. Dameon apparently was more into Satan and religious angst. He enjoyed spiritual hatred. While Eveliant was just a hard-core neo-nazi who kinda kept his beliefs in the dark. Eveliant�s best friend was Dominic and they had their own little sub group always running.

My favorite thing I heard about this group is the mobile drug store they had set up. Basically everybody could call each other to get drugs easily. And if they couldn�t find the drug they would send an order to Seth or Roger and either of them would find a way to get it.

I felt an odd tingling feeling at my shoulder. It was very odd and it made me look back. I scratched my shoulder and noticed something at the corner of my eye. I turned my head the other way and was totally caught off guard by the figure standing there. My heart jumped until I could get a fix on the person there. Josh turned around and seemed relatively calm. There were two people standing there. Both of them had a slight gothic look to them. However they both were not hard-core. One of them was wearing a black hood and I could see bits of hair coming down his face. His hair was white and his eyes were brown. He had black cargo pants on and his hands were in his pocket.

The other was dressed somewhat similar. What amazed me most was he had no hair-coloring job. His hair was left blondish brownish and his eyes were green with a tint of blue. His arms were revealed all the way. Except on his left hand he wore a black glove with the fingers cut off. And on the other he had a few rings on his fingers and an amazing really thin bracelet, which was actually chain male.

Josh handed the green-eyed boy the brown package. The boy looked over at me and did a thorough check of my clothing. �We meet at last. I can tell from what people told me your ambition to meet me was greater than mine to meet you. However I won�t denie, after hearing about Orion I was hoping to speak with you. Don�t need to tell you my name you already know. My fellow companion here however; his name is Eric.�

�Nice to finally meet you, Dameon.� I said, nodding my head in recognition. Truth was I felt for some reason like I was meeting a Guru. I was trying to hold back my excitement.

�Unfortunately we have to be getting back to the forest. Our terribly frightening friends are waiting for this package.� Dameon gave Josh a pathetic look and laughed. Dameon�s voice was really calm yet powerful. It was slightly deep with a sharp teenage boy tone. Hard to describe I guess. From what I had seen he was defiantly an odd looking guy. Yet I still had to speak with him. We arranged to meet the next day.

The rest of the night was actually very fun. We heavily smoked up and then began to watch Anime movies. I had never enjoyed Anime so much before. However even though I was extremely high, now and then I would think of Dameon and how I wanted to speak with him. That however would be replaced with a strong hunger, which was fulfilled when a pizza was ordered at 1:00 in the morning. I oh so loved those long eventful nights.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
That's right, I'm not giving up on this story till it's done and perfect. No worries. You will see it half done by December.

yay! I'm off to read it now... do you still want me to tell you it's good? Cos it is... anyway, I would've loved to read the conversation between Deronik and Dameon... but I'll hold, hurry though