Poem; Deserve to Die

Yeah, here’s a little poem I wrote. Merl wanted the name changed to Immortale’s Theme, so I kinda did. A little swearing in it, it’s a angry poem, what do you expect? *shrugs* Not much, but it’s my first. Enjoy! . . . Or not.

Deserve to Die (a.k.a Velld & Immortale’s Theme)

My life sucks and so do preps.
Sometimes I wish I could just break their necks.
They’re mean and deserve to die,
but I have no room to talk cause so should I.
Most my friends are asses and my dad’s a dick,
and everyone thinks I’m such a jip.
I can’t handle it all, I’m just one guy,
everything in my life is such a lie!
All I am in this world is a little speck,
I never get one ounce of respect.
I’m without real love, and I don’t know why,
if only I wasn’t so fuckin’ shy!
Argh, my life is such a reck.
And it’s all because of these shitty preps.
Who steal my pride, and make me cry,
oh god I deserve to die . . .

It’s all good Jamie

It’s a good poem, and it speaks volumes

Not bad, I mean I don’t really know if I’m one to talk but I think you have the making of a good poet. You have a point to your poetry and don’t try to just make a rhyme because it will sound good and you use your emotions (something a lot of poets have problems with). Work on the rhythm a little and I think you will be well on your way to writing some VERY good poetry.

heh. Thanks. I know the rhyming kinda made it suck. But It’s hard to read poems that don’t for me. x.X The rhyming kinda keeps the beat of it. *shrugs* Glad some people liked it.

forget "o canada" that will be my new national anthem!:Ds

No, no, no! I’m just kidding! That’s great, I love it! Keep it up. :notgood: Stupid dumb me.