Need opinions

Okay. Well, this poem is for my English teacher who pretty much hates my class. If he doesn’t like what you wrote, you really get marked down (but don’t necessarily fail.) Let me explain my poem. I had to use iambic tetrameter. For those of you who don’t know what this (I didn’t either until I got this assignment), iambic tetrameter is when your rhyme scheme is ABAB (Lines marked "A" rhyme with "A" and "B" rhymes with "B".) Each line has to have four pairs of words that go: unstressed syllable, stressed, unstressed, stressed, and so forth. Yes, I did screw up on one little part, but I just need to know if anybody here likes my poem more than anything. So here it is (I’ll put my rhyme scheme on the side.)

EDIT: Removed poem cuz I probably won’t get very more opinions.

>>>That is good…I like it

I read and would like are poems of all type

i don’t really understand what you’re saying, but it’s nice to know somebody likes my random school project. i honestly like writing stories more than i like writing poems.

HERE IS A BETTER POEM

Mario oh Mario you are really fat
I saw you eating ice cream while you were up at bat
And then Mr Luigi I think he’s really gay
He was kissing Toadstool and his pants were on fire and
The end

lol. that was awesomely lame.

MAN THAT WAS BEST POEM EVER TOOK ME TWO DAYS TO FIND A RHYME WITH LUIGI

I’m not saying I didn’t like it. I like it despite that fact that it’s lame and stops rhyming in the end.

2 WEEKS MAN FOR THE RHYME WITH LUIGI

…

2 WEEKS

I was playing Mario Kart Double Dash and DS one and then I was like Koopa Troopa Paratroopa Dy Bones dance-a-thon

rofl

is that awesomly lame…
————————–
I deeply buried my soul and put my heart on the ice.

I am not was to be taken in a position of feelings.

My tears cut up already often the skin.

Only the hubs show you the deeds.

Yet worry it no, except me.

It is you equal whether it for me a morning gives.

Mourn would become only one soul

To give the soul that tried me dear.

That my heart again to that strike brings.

Yet to far, it removed was, was able to be not always with me

Nevertheless my soul was not able to disappear, goes think each once if the knife the tears yet I of it.

Only this thought lets me life
——————————
(hopefully you understand it

(hopefully you understand it

Quite a few grammatical errors and the focus seems to drift from one direction to another. But meh, no one ever said poetry was easy. Keep at it…..

bus driver you deserve a poem!

Bus Driver – Always Driving Away

bus driver oh bus driver why do you have to go
you were like a brother i met in idaho
bus driver oh bus driver why do you have to sing
you voice is like raspberry ugly like irene
bus driver oh bus why do you need a car
you have a bus that ran into the czar!!!
bus driver please don’t go away
i can’t pay the new guy less than fifty cents a day!

Quite a few grammatical errors and the focus seems to drift from one direction to another.

my usualness. . . .

since i’m probably not going to get more opinions, i’m going to remove my poem. 🙂

here’s an even better poem!

Arrow arrow in the sky,
you are pointy like my cow!
Please don’t drink that soda, please!
Last time I did I lost my cheese!

….

You should all die

here’s an even better poem!

Arrow arrow in the sky,
you are pointy like my cow!
Please don’t drink that soda, please!
Last time I did I lost my cheese!

….

that is really lame not better than your other poem…but make further so

You should all die

Well, that’s not very nice.

FreakyLoser don’t worry he has mental problems.

NO U

SHOTOKEN, PLEASE GO BACK TO THE CRATER! YOUR MOM IS WORRIED SICK!

PHIRK I THINK YOUR CAPS LOCK BUTTON IS STUCK AGAIN

FreakyLoser don’t worry he has mental problems.

I’ve noticed.

I feel quite dandy, actually.

Garamond go fucking die.

wow this forum is full of haters jeez. i thought it was decent.

SHOTOKEN…

http://img87.imageshack.us/img87/797/tshirtmgtfogreenart280bb8.gif (http://imageshack.us)

LOL

FreakyLoser see he wants me to die because I don’t like him because he is like horrible

wow this forum is full of haters jeez. i thought it was decent.

That’s so true.

FreakyLoser see he wants me to die because I don’t like him because he is like horrible

I’m sorry Garamond. Battle Unicorn is pretty much the same in every thread I’ve seen him in.

Im dedicating this poem to my Bed and Pillow

Il never go far way from you
Even the stars will tell you
That i need you so
For this is all i know
Ill never go far away from you