Final Faptasy 7

See poll. Discuss your fapping experiences. 😀

I wouldn’t dream of fapping to Lego-people.

aeris’ death o yaeh

I wouldn’t dream of fapping to Lego-people.

Yeah, too blocky.

Another "ff7 sux d00d" is disguise?

Another "ff7 sux d00d" is disguise?

Merely poking fun at the character graphics. VII is probably my 4th favourite of the FF games I have played.

Constantly. Don Corneo is t3h hawtness. Tifa’s boobs are huge, too.

Constantly. Don Corneo is t3h hawtness. Tifa’s boobs are huge, too.

Co-sign

WHAT 9000?!?!

This poll clearly doesn’t go high enough. Some FFVII fans….

9000?

is that all?

i somtimes manage that in a single day. my hands hurt quite a bit and my wang is red and raw. still.

Red and raw? Hell, mine’s got callouses.

To masturbate over 9000 times while playing through that game, one would have to really suck at it. lol.

i agree i never had time to beat off while playin final fantasy 7.i was lost in the game to much to even think about masturbation….

i agree i never had time to beat off while playin final fantasy 7.i was lost in the game to much to even think about masturbation….

Hello, retarded fancunt. Welcome to the shrine. You can look forward to constant mockery and harassment by your betters.

I did not diverge from my normal masturbation habits while playing FFVII. That game never got me horny, and the urge to play it never overpowered that other urge. Unlike most fanboys, I played a pretty set amount of time each day, and continued to live a normal life. During my infatuation the game occupied most of the time I spent playing video games, but it did not detract from other parts of the day. So I voted none, in reverence of the fact that I’ve never masturbated to a FFVII character while playing the game, and my schedual was not considerably altered by the game play.

when barret was making weird noises in the bathroom 😉

Honeybee Inn when that guy was supposedly on top of Cloud in the dark making all those grunting noises and… restoring HP and MP!

Ah no. Wouldn’t dream of doing such a weird thing -__-.

Loosely related to the topic:

The Characters

During the game, you will encounter friends and other important characters in the story. However, depending on how you play, you may not be able to befriend some of the characters.
The following are the main characters in the game.

Cloud Strife

Job: Mercenary (ex-member of SOLDIER)
Age: 21
Weapon: Sword
Height: 5’7”
Birthdate: August 19
Birthplace: Nibelheim
Blood Type: AB

The main character in Final Fantasy VII. Originally a member of SOLDIER, he is now a mercenary who will take any job. After being hired by AVALANCHE, he gradually gets caught up in a massive struggle for the life of the planet. His enormous sword can cut almost anything into two, but he seems to prefer using its handle to fornicate with himself.

Aeris Gainsborough

Job: Flower Merchant
Age: 22
Weapon: Rod
Height: 5’3”
Birthdate: February 7
Birthplace: Unknown
Blood Type: O

Young, beautiful, and somewhat mysterious, Aeris met Cloud while selling flowers on the streets of Midgar. She decided to join him soon after. Her unusual abilities allow her to heal the party, but she seems more interested in the deepening love triangle between herself, Cloud and Tifa. She does, of course, hope for a threesome with the two. Will it happen? You’ll just have to play the game and find out.

Tifa Lockheart

Job: Bar Hostess, AVALANCE member
Age: 20
Weapon: Glove
Height: 5’4”
Birthdate: May 3
Birthplace: Nibelheim
Blood Type: B

Bright and optimistic, Tifa always cheers up the others when they’re down. But don’t let her looks fool you, she can decimate almost any enemy with her fists. She is one of the main members of AVALANCHE. She and Cloud were childhood friends, and although she has strong feelings for him, she would never admit it, as she fears he will be put off by her abnormally large breasts.

Barret Wallace

Job: Leader of AVALANCHE
Age: 35
Weapon: Gun-arm
Height: 6’4”
Birthdate: December 15
Birthplace: Corel Village
Blood Type: O

Head of the underground resistance movement, AVALANCHE, Barret is fighting the mega-conglomerate Shinra, Inc. which has monopolized Mako energy by building special reactors to suck it out of the planet. Barret depends on brute strength and his “Gun-arm” to see him through. His wife died in an accident several years ago, and he now lives with his daughter Marlene, whom, he insists, he absolutely DOES NOT have sexual feelings for. Some, including me, might observe that it’s odd he brought that up without being asked.

Red XIII

Job: Research Specimen
Age: 48 (15 in human terms)
Weapon: Headdress
Height: 2’9”
Birthdate: Unknown
Birthplace: Cosmo Canyon
Blood Type: Unknown

Just as his name implies, he is an animal with fire-red fur. But under his fierce exterior is an intelligence surpassing that of any human’s. His sharp claws and fangs make him good at close-range fighting, but other than that, not much is known about him, except that he has a very rare, painful strain of syphilis, which causes a fiery, burning sensation when he urinates, hence his nickname, ‘Red XIII’. It’s not even certain that “Red XIII” is his real name. A real enigma.

Cid Highwind

Job: Pilot
Age: 32
Weapon: Spear
Height: 5’8”
Birthdate: February 22
Birthplace: Unknown
Blood Type: B

Cid is a tough-talking, warm-hearted old pilot who hasn’t forgotten his dreams. There’s no better pilot by air or sea. He believes that someday he’ll be the first man in space. With his handmade spear and knowledge of machinery, he throws himself into any attack regardless of the danger.

(‘Handmade spear’, ‘knowledge of machinery’ and ‘attack’ are of course sexual innuendo referring to ‘penis’, ‘female erogenous zones’, and ‘sexual experimentation’ but you already guessed that, right?)

Sephiroth

Job: Top ranking SOLDIER officer
Age: Unknown
Weapon: Long Sword
Height: 6’1”
Birthdate: Unknown
Birthplace: Unknown
Blood Type: Unknown

Even amongst the elite troops of SOLDIER, Sephiroth is known to be the best. His past is locked away in a confidential file held by Shinra, Inc, along with the naughty magazines that Heidegger doesn’t want you to know about. His giant sword, which only he can handle, has extremely destructive power. Said to have disappeared in a battle years ago, his current whereabouts are unknown.

Yuffie Kisaragi

Job: Materia Hunter, Ninja
Age: 16
Weapon: Knife, boomerang, and origami (for throwing)
Height: 5’2”
Birthdate: November 20
Birthplace: Wutai
Blood Type: A

Although you’d never know it by looking at her, Yuffie comes from a long line of Ninja. She forced herself into the group just to get a ‘certain something’. She’s sneaky, arrogant and “way” selfish. But with her super shuriken and her special skills, there isn’t anyone else you’d rather have on your side in a fight. And, if the rumours are true, there’s no-one else you’d rather have in the bedroom either. Allegedly, soaring unemployment rates in Wutai have caused the young mistress to take a job at the Honeybee Inn, where she has become notorious as the girl who’ll ‘try anything once’. Allegedly.

Cait Sith

Job: Toysaurus
Age: Unknown
Weapon: Megaphone
Height: 3’2”
Birthdate: Unknown
Birthplace: Unknown
Blood Type: Unknown

Cait Sith ‘rides’ around on the back of a huge stuffed Mog he magically ‘brought to life’*. Megaphone in hand, he’s always shouting orders and creating dopey attacks. When his slot machine attack works, the enemy lines look like an overturned toy box. His hobby is fortune telling, but like his personality, it’s pretty unreliable.

*If you didn’t find that sentence, and the imagery it brings with it, utterly disturbing, then a career in the world of fetishist pornography is the ideal path for you.

Vincent Valentine

Job: Unemployed
Age: 27
Weapon: Gun
Height: 6’
Birthdate: October 13
Birthplace: Unknown
Blood Type: A

A mystical man, stern and upright while at the same time dark and mysterious. His past connection with Shinra, Inc. is what made him join Cloud and the others. He may seem frail at first glance, but hidden inside his body lurks a fearsome power. Which is, of course, the power to bring women to multiple orgasms. ‘Dr. V’, may say nothing of it, but he was quite the Valentino of the Turks back in the day.

Tifa really did have ridiculous tits. They were like JJ or something, I was very upset.

my fingers are dripping with cum as I type.

my fingers are dripping with cum as I type.

Is that even… necessary?

it’s about how much you fap to FFVII 😡

Yeah but it’s not about your hygienic habits.

I was fapping to FFVII as I typed fool.

No one needs that much information.

one time i brushed my teeth

Anytime it showd a segment featuring Cid x Shera, or Cloud x Tifa x Aeris those were hot, but not nearly as hot as Cait Sith, omg all that fur and that cute megaphone 😀

WHAT 9000?!?!

LMAO exactly.

im so sorry but the graphics are too bad to do something like that while playin it