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Half a league, half a league,
Half a league to university,
All in the valley of Herts
Rode the 50 good friends.
"Forward, the Alpott Brigade!
"Charge for the bar!" he said:
Into the valley of Herts
Rode the 50 good friends.
2.
"Forward, the Alpott Brigade!"
Was there a man dismay’d?
Not tho’ the soldier knew
Someone had nicked his laptop:
Their’s not to make sex on,
Their’s not to reason what thepriceislol is all about,
Their’s but to do and LOL TOSSPOT:
Into the valley of Herts
Rode the 50 good friends.
3.
Chicks to right of them,
Good mates to left of them,
Stuck in the middle with #al-pott
Zinged and pwnd;
Storm’d at with TOSSPOT and LOL,
Boldly they rode and well,
Into the jaws of Herts,
Into the mouth of The Students Union
Rode the 50 good friends.
4.
Flash’d all their peens bare,
Flash’d as they turn’d in air,
Sabring the wimmins there,
Charging a bouncer, while
All the world wonder’d (who are these tossers?):
Plunged in the battery-smoke of a seedy club
Right thro’ the line they broke (they wanted to get served, and quick);
Cossack and Russian
Reel’d from the Alpott humour
Shatter’d and sunder’d.
Then they rode back, but not
Not the 50 good friends.
5.
Jews to right of them,
Hindu’s to left of them,
Stuck in the middle with darkies
Volley’d and thunder’d were Alpotts insults;
Storm’d at with innuendo and despair,
While tarts and ho-bags fell,
They that had fought so well (to stop Alpott tonguing them)
Came thro’ the jaws of Herts
Back from the mouth of Herts,
All that was left of them,
Left of 50 good mates.
6.
When can their glory fade?
O the wild charge they made!
All the world wondered,
What happened to the laptop?
Honor the Alpott Brigade,
Noble 50 good friends.