The party defeats the three statues and comes together in Kefka’s "throne room," where the final battle will take place. Kefka begins the typical monologue…
Edit: Oh dear, I seem to have clicked the wrong forum. I trust this shall soon be moved to FF Classics.
*Kefka begins to throw a fit*
Sorry if mine sucks, I’m new to this.
Edgar: Shhhhhhh! This is entertaining.
Kefka: I’m gonna tell the FBI about this! You won’t get away with having a 14-person-party!
Locke: Kefka, might I point out that you hit the FBI headquarters with your Ray of Judgment, and that what remains of the FBI after the blast probably doesn’t have much interest in helping you?
Kefka: Oh, poo-poo on you!
Mog: "Quiet, you!"
Umaro hits Gogo on the head.
Sabin: Yeah, and now he’s mimicing it. We’ve gotta do something about this before Kefka finishes with his fit.
Kefka: …And I’m gonna notify Jelsoft AND the FBI and they take internet privacy crimes very seriously and FFShrine is gonna get shut down and…
Edgar: Is anybody getting this stuff down? It’s a riot!
Sabin: Sorry, Big Brother, but we’ve got bigger fish to fry. We need to get Gogo to play another, better Final Fantasy game before Kefka finishes his monologue so he’ll stop mimicing FFVII’s terrible writing.
Edgar: Why don’t we give him FFI?
Locke: I dunno, if we give him FFI, he’ll do something like 400 damage and consider that a lot.
Edgar: Perhaps Kingdom Hearts?
Sabin: No way, game mechanics are too different. That could screw everything up.
Celes: Wait a minute guys, that gives me an idea… *whisper whisper*
Edgar: Brilliant! Hey, Gogo, you wanna play a classic game?
Gogo: Sure, why not?
Edgar and Celes take Gogo to Figaro, where Edgar has stored an NES. Edgar puts in a game and Gogo plays it.
A couple of hours later, they return.
Kefka: And I’m gonna call the brute squad with Fezzik and he’s played by Andre the Giant so he’ll kick all your…
Locke: Ahh, they return.
Edgar: Alright, Gogo, mimic the game you just played.
Gogo runs over towards Kefka, jumps over him, and grabs an axe that was sitting behind him.
Kefka: Hey, what the f…
Kefka falls from the broken bridge into a vat of lava that mysteriously appeared.
Edgar: Alright! We did it! Kefka is gone!
Celes: Wait… OH FUCK!!! SOMEONE STOP GOGO!!!
Edgar: What is it?
Gogo runs forward after defeating Kefka to encounter a mushroom person.
Toad: Thank you Gogo! But your princess is in another castle.
Edgar: FUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Kefka: Wait, aren’t you supposed to be dead?
Leo: You fuckin’ cunt, it wasn’t in the script. And how the hell are you dressed up for this scene? You pink poofter!
Terra: Wow, pink poofter, nice burn, it almost sounds as good as spoony bard.
Shadow: Almost.
Terra: Oh, Leo, now that you’re here, there’s always something I wanted to ask to you.
Leo: Oh yes? What about?
Terra: You. Your pixeled body says obviously that you’re a white guy, but how come your face was that of a nigger in the menu screen?
Leo: The writers probably wanted the black guy to die first, but since I’m not white, they made the face black.
Shadow: LMAO
*Kefka (
) comes crawling out of the lava (http://www.wd40.com/Brands/gifs/pht_lava_family_1204.gif)*
Kefka: Just for that I’m gonna call the writer of Family Circus (http://xcomputerman.com/files/Family_Circus.gif) and Fat Tony (http://www.joemantegna.com/TONY.GIF). He ain’t one to be trifled with (http://www.arcadeinfo.de/newbieFAQ/electricity.gif)… Waahhh!!!! Now there’s 15 of ya?
Terra: 16 if you count Leo as "spy vs. spy" (http://liberal.home.comcast.net/spy-vs-spy1.gif).
Leo: As a "Token Black Guy", I do have my special secret (http://www.f3design.com/images/black_superman.JPG) as to why I came back and it’s not because I’m also white. *winks*
Shadow: …
Kekfa: "Hey look over there"
Everyone turns around
*Kekfa runs*
Everyone: "hey, we can’t run from boss battles, so how can they run from us?"
Locke: "We lose now no way we can beat his OPS."