What final fantasy 8 characters would never say…

Okay, this should be fun!!! All you have to do is put down something that any FF8 character would never say. Pretty self explanatory… All right, I’ll start:

Laguna: I brought the right map

Squall: "Can someone help me, please?"….."Guys?"….."Hey, guys, can someone help me?!"…."FINE, dont help me, i’ll carry this big heavy box all by myself."….strains and gives up…"GUYS!"…starts to cry…"Fine, screw you, this box can stay here"

Zell: "You, want me, to punch that?"…"No! I might break a nail"

Rinoa: "Angelo, i’m sending you to the pound, i want a poodle"

Selphie: "Has anyone seen my tranquilisers?"

Irvine: "So…where do you load this gun?"…BANG…"Never mind…ow, my foot"

oh
sorry
i didnt know 🙁

Headmaster Cid: I loved making Flubber!! FFVIII is nothing compared to it!!
Selphie: HOLY SHIT!!!! I can’t remember how to fly this thing for the life of me.
Squall: Why is this called a gunblade?
Zell: *In german bodybuilding accent* Look at my muscles. Look, I’m flexing my muscles.
Irvine: Why don’t I ever need to load this thing?

P.S. Great Avatar!!

ultimacia: what is…. Time compression…..
squall: What is a gumblade

Squall: Oh, you wanna know some of my favorite movies? It’s a Wonderful Life, The Truman Show, What Dreams May Come, What the Bleep Do We (K)now? — you know — all that empowering stuff!

Squall: Vulcanize the whoopee stick!
Rinoa: Um…What?
Squall: IN THE HAM WALLET!!!
Rinoa: Yeah, ur freaking me ou-
Squall: PUT THE YOU KNOW WHAT IN THE YOU KNOW WHERE!
Zell: PRONTO!!!

Hey
Squall:Hey Seifer
Seifer:Hey Squall

Selphie:ooohhh Irvine u r just so delicious
Irvine:(in a freaked out kind of way)Uuuuhhh right
Irvine:Okay your scaring me

Squall:Whats this (With Gunblade in hand)
Squall:How does it work?

Irvine:How do u shoot this thing?
Irvine:Never Mind i got it Oww my kidney

Squalls Bleeding like hell of an attack from seifer

Rinoa:Good shot Seifer

Squall looks round in disbelief

Squall:Okay but OOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW (Starts to cry)

Qustis:O.K lets go to the mission car
Squall:I dont want to go!

Rinoa:Hey Squall (In a romantic way)
Squall:(Freaked out)Hey
Rinoa:Lets go somewhere quiter)
Squall:O.K Hey Quistis u wanna go somwhere quiter with me?
Quistis:Sure!
Squall:Thanks Rinoa I never thought i would actually have the strenght to say that

Rinoa starts to cry because she can hear Quistis and Squall Making Love

Edea: "I LIKE PUMPKIN PIE! YES I DO! I DO NOT LIE!:

Squall: "Brian Giles has signed a three year deal with the San Diego Padres, the Associated Press reports. The deal is at $9 million per year, with an option for a fourth year at $9, or a buyout for $3 million. He is OBP king."

Norg: All your base belong to us…
Squall: What you say?
Norg: Resistance is futile
Norg: BUJURURURURURURU!!!

squall: I love you guys. (to ff8 crew)

seifer: your my best friend squall.

zell: I’m weak.

rinoa: I hate timber.

quistis: hey squall.(squall looks over) what? (quistis) when I fired that gun to save your life…. i didn’t actually know how to use it. I just pressed buttons out of panic…..

irvine: I hate women.

selphie: I hate all of you.

edea: i don’t remember raising children.

headmaster cid: lets join forces with galbadia after they get done ramming us.

Norg: (something in English)

Mayor Dobe: YOU BASTARD! HOW DARE YOU TAKE MY QUEZACOTL CARD? I’M GONNA RIP YOUR LUNGS OUT!

Sorceress Adel: anything

Ultimecia: the letter C

Norg: All your base belong to us…
Squall: What you say?
Norg: Resistance is futile
Norg: BUJURURURURURURU!!!

hahahah!!!!
LOL

Zero Wing?

Squall: Hey have any of you ever played Final Fantasy VIII?
Seifer: Yeah I’ve clocked it 5 times now that you mention it…
Zell: Man that Rinoa chick is like the most weakest of them all aye?
Selphie: uh huh…but not as useless as that Irvine weakling guy….
Laguna: What’d you think of the last FMV?
Kiros: yeah it was crack up!!!!…
Ward: Why don’t you guys go on Final Fantasy Shrine and talk about this crap.
Squall: What are you calling crap?
Seifer: Yeah Fatty! what did u say?
Ward: What’d you call me?
Squall & Seifer: FATTY!!!!
Ward, Laguna and Kiros: You guys wanna fight?
Squall: No, but Yo Mama does!
Seifer: OWWWW!!!.I bet that hurt…ahaaahhaa
Selphie & Zell: Everyone Shut up!!! what are you guys eleven?!!!
Squall & Seifer: Yeah sorry Ward…
Ward: Its all Gud… we cool?
Squall: yeah man..
Seifer: We cool man….
END

Norg: (something in English)

Mayor Dobe: YOU BASTARD! HOW DARE YOU TAKE MY QUEZACOTL CARD? I’M GONNA RIP YOUR LUNGS OUT!

Sorceress Adel: anything

Ultimecia: the letter C

But Adel does say stuff and Norg does speak english. It’s just…in caps.

But Adel does say stuff and Norg does speak english. It’s just…in caps.

I’m basically saying that Adel seemed to be mysteriously mute when she came out of the seal.

Seifer: Come back here with my eye liner you rotten kids! If you dont give it back ill have Galbadia Garden attack you -hahahhaahaha-
I cant wait till we capture those boys!

*Soldier whispers something in Seifers ear*

Seifer: Oh…and those girls too…

This conversation might actually happen, if Squall doesn’t kill Zell first, but it’s worth a shot.

(Squall and Zell are sitting together in Garden somewhere)
Zell: Wait a minute! Waaaait a minute! Your father is the president of Esthar?
Squall: Apparently so.
Zell: Dude, you know what that means?
Squall: *raised eyebrow*
Zell: You’re loaded! Esthar is, like, the richest country there is! You can party hearty!
Squall: *blink, blink*
Zell: You’ll, like, have babes crawling all over you! Hey, can you hook me up with one?
Squall: *blank stare*
Zell: Hey, can you use your influence to get me a hotdog factory?
Squall: If you don’t shut up, I will personally make sure you never see another hotdog again.
Zell: Shutting up.

Squall: I love girls

This guy is gay^^

What the hell? Where did you get that idea? There is obviously some intimacy between him and Rinoa.

Irvine — My idea of a great night? Oh, a little something private, something to myself. A little light music, a quick snack, maybe a nice bath and please, please, no girls!

Seifer: Hey where’s the $2 Shop?
Zell: Shut up homo!
Squall: HEY! what you got against gay people huh? *puts arm around seifer*
Seifer: Squall man…..*whispers* i don’t want Zell to know….well..u know……….about us………he’ll make so much fun of me….. and I don’t like it..
Zell: ?????????
Selphie: Can I’ve a dollar?

Can I ask no more of the direct gay/sex jokes please? Because they tend not to be very creative and are getting kind of lame. If we can’t do that, then this thread is going to end up going the way of the others like it.

Adel: *singing* Oh what a beauutiiful morrrnniinng, oh what a beautiful daaay, I have a beautiful feeeeeeeling ev’rythings goin my waaaay!

Squall: I AM CLOUD STRIFE

LOLZORZ GEDDIT? because cloud is from ff7 and squall is from ff8. THEY ARE TWO TOTALLY DIFFERENT PEOPLE ZOMG.

OMFG!! So creative and original and funny!! Your just a comic genius.

Squall: I AM CLOUD STRIFE

LOLZORZ GEDDIT? because cloud is from ff7 and squall is from ff8. THEY ARE TWO TOTALLY DIFFERENT PEOPLE ZOMG.

Seifer: I AM SEPHIROTH!

LOLZORZ GEDDIT? because sephiroth is from ff7 and seifer is from ff8. THEY ARE TWO TOTALLY DIFFERENT PEOPLE ZOMG!!1111

OMFG!! So creative and original and funny!! Your just a comic genius.
ZOMG!! So funny and original and creative!! Your just a genius comic.

———————————

Seifer: "There is no ME in TEAM"…"well, if you take out the T"…"and the A"…."and the I"…"it leaves EM"…"EM"…"perhaps if i swap those letters"…"i get"…"M"…"E"…"ME!".."OMG, there is ME is in TEAM, so i guess me does have to work with people"…"YAY!"

I guess it’s time to show how it’s done:

Squall: Hi, I’m Snuggle Bear!
Woman: No you’re not. Please leave.
Squall: No, I am, really. I’m snuggly soft!

Zell: I WANT HOTDOGS!!!
Cafeteria Lady: !!! They re after me lucky charms!!!
Selphie: Silly Zell! Hotdogs are for kids!

First, I’d just like to point out that Agent and Gunblademaster just took you guys to school. No really, this must be a restaurant, ’cause you just got SERVED!

All puns aside, here’s one of my own.

Edea: Ultimecia’s ultimate goal, is to save the puppies…
Squall: Hey, that doesn’t sound so…
Edea: FOR HERSELF!
Irvine: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

___salad__me__garnish___
Plate
and after that really awful representation of
No really, this must be a restaurant, ’cause you just got SERVED!
its time for another lame one of mine

Quistis: SQUALL!! You failed. HA! Seifer dear, you passed, I’m really proud of you.
Seifer: Oh thank you, this is the happiest day of my life. You’ve no idea how hard i’ve worked for this, staying up late in the library, developing teamwork skills, patience. Thank you instructor, i couldnt have done this without you, and the people in my wonderful team, Squall and Zell. You trully are the best people a man could ever wish to know.

Ah, now you guys are getting into it. All of the stuff since my most recent post is quite good.

Ultimecia: Now i summon the most powerful GF! Come BULLSHIT!

Ultimecia: I shall junction myself unto BULLSHIT!

Ultimecia: I shall junction myself unto BULLSHIT!
Squall: Not if i junction it first!…..Here BULLSHIT…..There’s a good GF…..No…Dont go to Ultimecia…..No…..NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Ultimecia: Oh, fuck this. This is all BULLSHIT, really. Why don’t just forget that time kompression and go out for drinks?

Squall: Rinoa is dead! Time Compression has been completed and my ass hurts! NO! RINOA PLEASE SAVE ME!
Zell: Dude….that sucks….but um you know what!
Squall: (sniffling) what…
Zell: I just saved a whole bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico! 🙂

Rinoa: Squall, the gang and I want to sing you a song.
Squall: Ok wat is it???
The Gang: Get your degree, set yourself free, National American University!!

Fujin: I feel… happy today

Squall: My gunblade will defeat you!!! Ahhhhhh!!! *charges at Seifer, gunblade backfires*

Seifer: dumbass….*attacks weakened Squall, his backfires* :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: (they are cracking up next to each other rolling on the floor)

Quistis: You guys are fags…

zell implodes

Garden Faculty: It has been brought to my attention that Seifer is gay. Now…
Squall: Hold it, hold it. I thought Agent said no more gay jokes.
Garden Faculty: Well listen to you! You’re the one using the old "mixing the real world with the fictional world" gag. Come on, Mel Brooks used that in Blazing Saddles.
Zell: Damn, Squall just got pwned.

Squall: HOORAAYYY!!! I BEAT A BITE BUG!!
Zell: So? I beat a billion of them yesterday.
Squall: Whateverrr!!

squall: hey, what’s the point of GF
Quistis: well, squally darling… The er… um… but… er… br… ead…
Cid: GF is awesome… someday i’ll go to winhill
zell: Isn’t that totally off the narly topic DUUUUUDE
Irvine: someday i’ll kill selphie

Squal when he first sees Rinoa : "You have a cock-slap like face.."
Cid to Quistis for no good reason at all : "I�M GONNA BITCH-SLAP YOU LIKE SHIVA!!"

Priest; do you take this 3 year old girl to be your wife.
Cid: i do
Edea:i do

Irvine: Don’t quote me. I don’t like attention.

Squall: nobody understands me I’m sooo alone…… SOMEBODY LOVE ME
Zell: I can swallow the whole hotdog in one gulp
(Rinoa: Yea about that thing we had squall it was just a fling i wanted to kno wat it was like to be wit a bitch.Squall:Wat *sniveling* how could you do this to me I looooooooved yoouuuuuuu)
Seifer: ummm I understand that the hyperion is a gunblade I see the umbrella shaped handle I can hear it cock back but where’s the barell and it never shoots?

Squall: I have feelings…
Irvine: I am a homosexual…
Seifer: I love you squall…

Squall: Hey hey Irvine, you gotta see this

Irvine: What *turns around* GAAAAAAAAAAH! *sees "something"*

Squall: It’s my penis!!!!! Yay!!!!!!

Ultimecia: No, you know what? I’m done with YELLING!!!! Whoops, sorry habbit.

Selphie: I dont want to ride on a train today okay?

squall: hah i am so much better than cloud str…
Cloud: hmmm, maybe now i can settle down with sephiroth

You guys are noobs. It’s time again for you all to be shown how it’s done.

Squall: I know you’re all probably too tired to even stand up after all the fighting… But plunder awaits, arr!!!!!!!
Xu: These pirate gags are really pissing me off.
FFIWithAllThieves: I shall never cease! PIRATE GLOTY!!!!!!!
Xu: Squall, listen! We must defeat FFIWithAllThieves to save the world, or everyone will become a pirate!
Squall: Arrrrr! That be not so bad, says me!
Xu: Squall, if everyone in the world were a pirate, then there would be no merchant ships to plunder!
Squall: ARRR!! FFIWithAllThieves, ye scurvey dog! I’ll escort ye to the gates o’ HELL!
FFIWithAllThieves: You can’t win…
*fight sequence begins*
Squall: YAARRR!!! LIONHEART!!!
*does shitload of damage to FFIWithAllThieves*
FFIWithAllThieves: Impressive, but you’re no match for my ultimate attack!
Squall: Bah! Ye be bluffin’!
FFIWithAllThieves: Think that if you like, but this is a secret ability I learned from FFIV…
Squall: Shenanigans!
FFIWithAllThieves:Prepare yourself…
RETREAT!!!!
*FFIWithAllThieves disentegrates*
Squall: WTF…

Squall: "Can someone help me, please?"….."Guys?"….."Hey, guys, can someone help me?!"…."FINE, dont help me, i’ll carry this big heavy box all by myself."….strains and gives up…"GUYS!"…starts to cry…"Fine, screw you, this box can stay here"

Zell: "You, want me, to punch that?"…"No! I might break a nail"

Rinoa: "Angelo, i’m sending you to the pound, i want a poodle"

Selphie: "Has anyone seen my tranquilisers?"

Irvine: "So…where do you load this gun?"…BANG…"Never mind…ow, my foot"
awesome

Squall: Wateva minga boogie flinga Ooh lookie a boco!
Rinoa: I hate life
Selphie: Optomists eat babies you bastards!
Irvine: What is the point of breast surgery.
Zell: Punching isn’t nice children!

Squall: you know, that selphie is a nice piece of ass
irvine: you pervert! thats no way to talk about a woman
zell: shut the fuck up irvine you talk too much
Squall: i think ill skip class to ask her out
Seifer: dont squall! its against the rules!!
Quistis: screw the rules, what has garden done for us?

Squall: Man, I’m depressed…
Rinoa: What is it?
Squall: The woman at the store wouldn’t believe me when I told her I was Snuggle Bear!
Rinoa: Well, Squall, it’s not her fault that you’re not as snuggly soft as you’re supposed to be.
Squall: It’s those damn advertisers! They just throw the truth out the window!