Heavy Rains on Hell Morning and A Bad Day at Sunrise

here are two poems i made yesterday hop you like it

HEAVY RAINS ON HELL MORNING
the rains on hell morning greets me
as i wake up on a cloudy day
i awake to find myself
staring at a stormy day
i tried to smile eventhough it was hell in my face
so i tried to sleep again
is a chill cold from hell morning

i dressed myself for school
hoping it was more happir than to stay home
i sometimes feel that
i am more at home in school than living here
the rain joins my sorrow as i go home
hearing arguments they alaway say and do at each other
my family is tearing apart…..
i am drifting away…
as i walk away outside my house
the heavy rains on hell morning will be with me…….
FOREVER!!!

Bad day at sunrise

my day was starting to twitch when i woke up
i was starting to feel it at the peak of sunrise
my door of freedom was not opening for me
the world was changing its attitiude at the beginning of sunrise
it was another bad day that will never end
i cannot show my anger to them
they are always against anything i do
they tried to control me and make me one of them
but i refused and began to feel their anger at me
my world is only surviving behind their shadows
i can only survive because i always think that
after this nightmare i shall live a peaceful life
but untill then,
i shall always wake
with a bad day at sunrise

so? how was it? tell me

well shoot me down i thought i was depressed…..
no, seriously thats good. how about mine.

souls.

a soul divided is a body,
abroken body is a soul,
if body and soul were one,
men would be god’s,
and the hell we’re in made worse

wow! i like it! its really something eventhough its kida small, but a body and soul together forms not a god, but a creation of god. and i like the part about the hell thing, i usually make my poems with "hell" but now, i think ill also make love poems (but im not a s*it gay okay?) coz im inspired by someone not yuna, but someone…..you dont wanna know

Hhhmm…. it was good, could have improved it, a bit more rhyming for for god’s sake not too much!

"my day was starting to twitch when i woke up
i was starting to feel it at the peak of sunrise
my door of freedom was not opening for me
the world was changing its attitiude at the beginning of sunrise
it was another bad day that will never end
i cannot show my anger to them
they are always against anything i do
they tried to control me and make me one of them
but i refused and began to feel their anger at me
my world is only surviving behind their shadows
i can only survive because i always think that
after this nightmare i shall live a peaceful life
but untill then,
i shall always wake
with a bad day at sunrise "

I really liked that, deep and all that jazz, yes.. most ddefinately had a lot of thought put ito it. Keep up the good work.

mine was inspired by yours. hows that for weird?

Lateralus: oh okay thanks but i dont make my poems with rhymes i kinda suck at rhyming and it just adds to the thinking i make.
shade 17: wow! really? lol! it made me laugh but i dont mean that i dont like it. its really something!