If you are trying to get Auto-Reflect, Curseproof, and Deathproof all on the same Armor, then you should be able to just look at that link I gave you and find out what specific items you need/how many. But if you still have questions about where to find them, don’t hesitate to PM me.
Auto-Reflect-Automatically casts Reflect at the beginning of all battles. Customize with Star Curtain x40.
Deathproof-You are almost immune to Death, but few times will you still get killed by it. Customize with Farplane Wind x60.
Curseproof-Almost completely protects against Curse. Customize with Tetra Elemental x12.
So to customize those abilities on, you will need 40 Star Curtains, 60 Farplane Winds, and 12 Tetra Elementals (you can find out where to get them, either through stealing or bribing, in the Steal and Bribe FAQ’s at www.gamefaqs.com). If the abilities don’t show up, it probably means that you don’t have enough (or any) of the needed items.
And you don’t need an armor with the abilities on it to "unlock" the abilities to be customized on any other armor. You just need the right number of the desired items.