falling.

shade17

06-09-2005, 02:31 PM

its down there,
what i rush towards,
whatever it is,
grabbing at the passing air,
………………………………………….. .,
SPLAT.

that was terrible. so hows about something comical….
……………………….

jack and jill,
went up the hill,
to do a little kissing,
jack made a pass,
and grabbed jills ass,
and his two front teeth are now missing….

please tell me what you think

Dragoncurry

06-10-2005, 04:31 AM

and his two front teeth are now missing….

This sentence doesn’t flow.

Gaffelmannen

06-10-2005, 04:46 PM

Okay, I guess, but as Dragoncurry said, that last sentence doesn’t flow.

shade17

06-10-2005, 04:59 PM

DOES IT HAVE TO, i’m sure you’ve heard of poetic licensing.

Rapture

06-11-2005, 01:14 PM

What the fuck. 🙁

shade17

06-11-2005, 06:13 PM

poetic licensing. it like freedom of speech for writers.

Dragoncurry

06-12-2005, 03:56 AM

It’s also called writing shitty last lines that don’t sell. It wasn’t even funny. Cause I understand that you are joking but this is so NOT funny…it isn’t even funny.

lenneth

06-12-2005, 05:00 AM

OH MAN YOU WROTE A FAKE SILLY POEM LOL THAT IS SO FUNNY YOU ARE LIKE MAKING FUN OF OTHER POEMS BY WRITING ONE YOURSELF LOL THATS GREAT YOU ARE THE FUNNIEST GUY ON THE SHRINE

Dragoncurry

06-12-2005, 03:24 PM

Hahaha

mrmonkeyman

06-12-2005, 04:48 PM

OH MAN YOU WROTE A FAKE SILLY POEM LOL THAT IS SO FUNNY YOU ARE LIKE MAKING FUN OF OTHER POEMS BY WRITING ONE YOURSELF LOL THATS GREAT YOU ARE THE FUNNIEST GUY ON THE SHRINE

neosavedtheworld

06-12-2005, 08:55 PM

Shade17 don’t be that guy…