Things you would never hear any FF9 character say….

For example:

Zidane: "Eiko….will you marry me"

or

Emarant: "Quina…your eyes are beutiful"

Anybody free to post!!

Quina:i’m going on a diet!

Dagger: Someone needs to kill that fat son of a b*tch!

Quina: ME!!!!!!!

Dagger: No, my mother.

Vivi: Let’s party!

Eiko: I think therefore I am

Brahne: I’m starting Weight Watchers (ROFLMFAO)

Zidane: I hate women

Freya: Hmmm, cheese…

Garland: Good morning, my angels->ZidaneMikotoNKuja: Good morning Garland (no more Charlie’s Angels for me)

Quina: Today is the day I’ll start my frog-free diet.
Eiko: I can’t stand moogles.
Freya: I wish Fratley would stop stalking me.

vivi:wheres that monkey son of a b**** he promised me a date with dagger

so… no one else is gonna post… this was a really good thread in FF7

Steiner: I’m not a babysitter, let Zidane watch the princess

Eiko: Im going to read a book.

Amarant: Sure ill go with you

Black mage # whatever: Do you think we’ll… stop someday??
Vivi: What the fuck do i care. Die, live….s’cool

Eiko:….*silence*….

Freya: Does anybody have any cheese?

Zidane :i am an angel of death you must all die *shoots dagger with a rifle* =-O

vivi:steiner man pass the fucken weed
steiner:i passed iit to the princess dumb pionty hat wearin mutha…
garnet:steiner shut the fuck up
steiner:go fuck your whale sized mama
zidane enters
shit im glad i came into dis room who got da blunt

Zidane:vivi i luv u

vivi:i love you 2

Zidane:really?

vivi 2 cloud01:dont be gay man jus playin

drat i thought i was in lol

vivi: wheres dagger zidane? *asks dagger to pick up hat* "wispers i can see down her shirt score" high 5s zidane

DAGGER: Zidane… f*ck you. F*ck you all.

—

ZIDANE: Hey, man. When was the last time YOU helped me?

—

KUJA: I have a plan! First I’ll turn that wretched Zidane into a flea. And then I’ll put him inside of a box. And then I’ll put that box inside of another box! And then I’ll wrap that box up, and I’ll mail it to myself! And then when that box arrives, I WILL SMASH IT!! AHAhahAH! It’s BRILLIANT, I TELL YOU!! BRILLIANT!! Or! To save on time and postage, maybe I can just behead him.

Can nobody come up with anything that doesnt involve swearing or sex?. It is meant to be a funny thread you know.

Zidane: i love popcorn and i like coffe

Yeah this threat really sucks now. It was meant for things to actually be FUNNY you know. Of course they wouldnt say crude things likt that u idiots.

and the friggin cheese thing isnt funny and is getting old now.

Quina: You know what? I really hate frogs… I just eat them because I’m dealing with the emotional crisis of not knowing what species I am…

Steiner: Now let’s all just sit down and talk this out…

Freya: We have to seal the keyhole! *grabs keyblade and bounds off to join Goofy and Donald*

Eriko: You know what? You moogles suck…

Zidane: (after Kuja goes into super-trance) Hey! No fair! I am seriously calling godmode on you!

Yeah this threat really sucks now.
OMG! We’ve been called on our Sucky!Threat!! Perhaps I should threaten with something like… oh… maybe giant pointy sporks or something to make any subsequent threats much less sucky.

😛 😛

[/sarcasm at stupid typo]

Now then.

Zidane: (after Kuja goes into super-trance) Hey! No fair! I am seriously calling godmode on you!

XD And right after that he writes about it in his LiveJournal, and then it makes it to Fandom Fen…

"Take a look at these two idiots fighting. The first of the wank begins with Genome_103_akaKuja shouting out about how his life sucks and everyone should die. Genome_508_akaZidane finds this very disagreeable, and BlkMge_VIVI agrees.

"Chaos ensues when others join in the battle and attempt to beat Genome_103_akaKuja in a flamefest of "I’m better than j00!" "No ur not!"

Zidane:Time to go to the YMCA
Garnet:Why dont I rescue someone for a change
Amarant:Hey Zidane,wanna go for dinner?
Kuja:I really should get some boxer shorts

Steiner:Ok. Can somebody just look after the princess? I got a life to lead, people!

Amarant:Zidane? Will you be godfather to mine and Quina’s child?

Vivi:Puck is such a selfish idiot! I HATE YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!

Dagger:Eiko? Take your stab at Zidane, i don’t really care. While you’re at it, have Alexandria too.

Zidane: Dagger… I’m gay…

Eiko:Moogles are SO stupid! MOG! GET THE HELL OUT MY DRESS!

Freya:You know, i was sick of all that Burmecian rain anyway. And Cleyra wasn’t all that great.

Quina:Where’s WeightWatchers!?!?!?! And bring me that grammar book thingy!

Kuja:Where did I put my business suit?

Vivi: Arrr! I feel pretty!

Vivi: Quina, Where are we going for our honeymoon

Amarant: I love kids

Zidane: Can we stop for a minute, I need a piss

Oh ha ha. This thread sucks. The only persons who were decent were SatanicLulu.

The rest are crap.

Vivi: Hey Dagger how’s about some black mage lovin??

Vivi: We dont need my water spell let the Black Mage Village burn, burn mother f***** burn!!!

Zidane: Hey Beatrix, now the Queen’s dead, why don’t you use your immense sword power to help us save the world?

Dagger: I am slowly starting to realise what a bad mistake I made in changing my name…

Marcus: Wow. I have so many abilities, its overwhelming.

Party members: Uh, I think we have ran out of places to store our magic ability stones.

Cid: How about we build another town?

Garnet: I remember you will Doctor Tot, those hot steamy nights in bed..

Shiva: Why am I always the crappest summon?

Kuja – I need ma teddy bear 🙁

Zidane- I’m Aving lady trouble

He does have lady trouble though..

Oh ha ha. This thread sucks. The only persons who were decent were SatanicLulu.

The rest are crap.

Wow! Ta! *gettin more popular by the day!*

Vivi: Hey wanna cruise on my ship, you big momma?!
Eiko: Sure 🙂

He does have lady trouble though..

Yeah but he doesn’t think so does he

vivi:hey dagger want to see if we can make a red mage?
dagger:mmmmmm sure
*they enter bedroom*
*noises*
9months later

dagger :we shall call you sarah
vivi:yes princess sarah

Zidane: (Dagger is hitting his chest and crying) Dagger do that again and I swear, you’re going to be aquainted with MY dagger.

Vivi: Nah guys, stand back, leave Necron to me! I’ll waste him!

Freya: Who the fuck is Sir Fratley? Wait, is that like Dr. Phil or something?

Kuja: (Stares at Zidane) ARGH! MONKEY BOY! DIE DIE DIE!

Steiner: Princess, may I borrow your mascara? Mines starting to rub off again…

Dagger: brb i need 2 find the bathroom, k? thx. (Runs off and buys a one way ticket to Holland)

Quina: I am NOT eating that Oglop!

Eiko: *Sigh* Zidane hates me.. I think I’ll start being a lesbian

Meh, pretty rubbish but there you go
(Yes kate, it’s me 😉 )

Dwarf: HOE RALLY!!!
Other Dwarf: It’s Rally Ho you stupid *&#%!!! *slaps him over the head*
Dwarf: No, there is a Hoe Rally Over there….
*It goes dead silent, then you can hear protesting*
Other Dwarf: Ohhh…..
(lol, i hope that was funny)

Zidane: I wonder how much pleasure Dagger would get if I used my tail as well?

Not as much as Dagger could give herself if she still had her horn * Dildo style*…

why are we so damn small

"Brahne: I’m starting Weight Watchers"

i like this one, hahahahahaha.

Zidane: time to go into Trance.(goes into Trance)..OH NO!I’m naked!!
Dagger: (looks at Zidane) umm….i have to go, but i’ll call you.

(hope people got this)

Garnet grabs zidane and throws him overboard the Hilda garde(sp?) :FLY MY PRETTY FLY!!!

*whistle sound and thud*

Garnet:… Eeeeeeikoooooo! Can you come here for a second?
—-
Steiner: Why couldn’t I have the thong suit? metal armor soooo isn’t my color.
—-
Zidane: We need to give you a new name…

Garnet: Whats the name of that thing you’re holding?

Zidane: Linda.

Zidane: "Garnet, you bitch! You still have my favorite pink Theif’s Thong!"

Vivi: "I love Gaia! I love life!"

Garnet: *in Conde Petie, after dwarf ceremony* "Zidane; come here you big hunk!" *grabs zidane and pulls him toward her and kisses him till disc 3*

Steiner: "Goodbye, Princess. I’m retiring my intructions to protect you, and I’m going to do what I love best… I’m going to create a pornographic website."

Freya: *wearing skimpy skirt with sleeveless blouse* "Ready… 1,2,3! Go team, go…" *does cart-wheel, round-off, back hand spring* "Whee!"

Quina: "I not hungry right now."

Eiko: "Zidane went back to Lindblum, Mikoto. You could go there and have some fun with him. And maybe, if he lets you, you could make out with him in the Tantalus hideout!"

Amarant: "Eiko, you’re my best friend in the world! Your the most mature, smart, and NOT the loudest little six year old I know!"

Kuja: *puts hands ontop of thighs to cover them* "Oh my goodness!!! Why didn’t anybody tell me I wasn’t wearing the rest of my outfit!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?"

Brahne: "Oh, Garnet. I’ve been a TERRIBLE mother. Come here and let me give you a BIG hug!"

Garland: *delivering flowers and whereing pink skirt and bonnet* "La la la… pink is my fav- OH! Here you go, Ma’am!"

(Baku, Zidane, Marcus and Blank are sitting round a table)
Zidane: hey guys i have an idea lets stop stealing and do plays on a regular basis.
*awkward silence*
Blank: And you wonder why Garnet ran away with Cinna.

In the Miss Universe contest
"And the winner is…. Queen Brahne!!"
Brahne: (wearing a tanga, crying and holding roses) "oh thank so much, I want to say thanks to my parents and I am going to help the poor child from the world. Long Life to Alexandria!!" (shakes her hand like a model)

Quina: Ok, let’s start our spinning class
Amarant: I am vegetarian; I need a sunbath
Vivi: Luke, I am your father.
Freya: Quina, I need frogs

Zidane: Quina will you marry me
Garnet: You cheating slime
Quina: Me get food if i do…..( she would say that lol)

Vivi: Heritage? What is that? All I know is booze *swigs*.

Quina: I not hungry right now :3.

Kuja: I don’t deserve to live…

Kuja: I know I look so much like a girl, but believe me, I’m a real naughty boy!

Zidane: Eiko, get the fuck off me. I don’t love you, I love Quina!

Kuja: I don’t deserve to live…
Uhm, that’s exactly what he says in the Iifa tree scene…

Spoiler alert please? God dammit.

Zidane: Naoto Ohshioma did a better job with sonic…

Quina:Can’t eat anymore…..ate to much

*In a tent…*
Dagger:Zidane? Are you awake?
Zidane:Yes my queen.
Dagger:Will you come over here please?
Zidane:Right away!
*Zidane moves around in darkness and eventually gets into someone’s bed*
Zidane:(Finally…)I love you Dagger.
Vivi:Um…Zidane?
Zidane:Yes Vivi? I’m kinda in the middle of doing something here.
Vivi:Zidane,please get off me.
*Zidane is mortified*
NEXT MORNING
Dagger:Zidane,what happened last night?
Zidane:Ahhh…N-N-NOTHING!!!
Steiner:I shouldn’t have had baked beans last night…
*Steiner does a violent fart and suddenly explodes*
All:That was a big one. :laugh:

Vivi to zidane, "Oi monkey boy get your arse over here, NOW!"

Garnet "Off with his head"

Amarant "There’s no I in team"

Zidane "Rescue Dagger? I can’t be bothered, you do It Steiner. Oooo Banana!"

Quina "Let’s have a phylisophical debate on the finer things in life, like dieting"

Cid "But I liked being a frog 🙁 TURN ME BACK!"

Brahne "You know what? I like burmicians and cleyrans, they’re cute little mice I want one ahhhhh."

Freya " WOOOOOOOO LETS PARTAYYYYYYYYY!" (Proceeds to pour large amounts of alcohol on herself, silly cow.

Hilda "Ok it’s your turn to hide, 1, 2, 3, 4" (the first thing she might say when you find her)

Garland "They’re my boys, *sniff* I love you"

Zidane and Kuja "We love you two dad *burst into tears*"

Steiner "OH NO HERE COMES NAMINGWAY! RUN! I DON’T WANT TO BE CALLED DOCTOR NOOBLES AGAIN!" (couldn’t think of a good one for him really)

Steiner – "Lube my hinges, baby…"

:laugh: good one Gast

thanks gast, i spend ages on mine and you write 5 words and steal the show.

Zidane *girly scream* EEEEEEEEKK! a mouse! *points at freya*

Vivi:ahh shit my hat fell off…

Vivi: How do you prove that you exist? Mabye I just need to get drunk…

Vivi:If my grandfather looks like Quinia,then what the fuck did my parents look like!?!

Stiener: having sworn fealty must i spend the rest of my life babysitting?
Garnet: i may have tried to kill my mother but next time i’ll succeed
Zidane: *at finding him and Kuja are brothers* WHAT THE FUCK how come i have a tail!!??! And you dont?
Quina: Vivi, im your father
Vivi: ok let me get this straight: im playing Vivi a semi-depressed freak with a annoying past? MY GOD!! *rips up script*
Amarant: Zidane im glad you framed me
Eiko: I just wanna be alone and stop Mog being a little perve

lame i know

Eiko:Mog!!!WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING INSIDE MY DRESS!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Steiner: Princess will you marry me?

Garnet: 2000gil an hour, Vivi

Cid "But I liked being a frog 🙁 TURN ME BACK!"

Dude…wasn’t he an Oglop?

First. But they turned him into a frog.

Zidane: Girls are the enemy!

it would be qunia not saying anything about food

Zidane:may i put my finger on ur belly
Dagger:sure
20 Minutes Later….
Dagger: gee i dont think thats my belly its my….vir….
Zidane: thats not my finger either its my…..di….

Zidane: steiner did dagger tell you what happened to your father
Steiner: Yes! He told me you killed him!
Zidane: no steiner I AM YOUR FATHER

*star wars theme plays*

Mog: Oh no! Enemies!!!*hides in her dress*
Eiko: dont worry its only the gang
*2 hours later*
*Eiko jumps around*
Eiko: GET OUTA THERE YOU SON OF A….

Shut up. The edit button is there for a reason.

Things They Will Never Say.
Zidane: Dagger,when i say get on the bed i MEAN GET ON THE BED!
______________________
Steiner: Sometimes My Butt gets itchy but damn i cant scratch it.
_______________________________
Kupo: since when do i have to save all the time?!
______________________
Beatrix: My boobs cant go through stainers armour T.T

Zidane:may i put my finger on ur belly
Dagger:sure
20 Minutes Later….
Dagger: gee i dont think thats my belly its my….vir….
Zidane: thats not my finger either its my…..di….

You totally fucking ruinded that joke -.-

(After Stainer finds the love later which Eiko wrote) Is this a love later? Who wrote it to who? Meybe someone left it here knowing i was going to come? Is it from…….QUINA?

Eiko: I’m not a little whore
Eiko: People want me alive
Eiko: As a general rule I make comments that are valueable to the group

Quina: Amarant, what keeps your hair glowing such a radiant red?
Amarant: I dye it once a week.
Freya: And I just LOVE what you’ve done with the fro! It’s fantastic!
Amarant: I wake up and thats the way it is! I must be blessed by an angel!

Zidane: Garnet, did you forget to put on your makeup today? Cause thats just unsightly!
Garnet: I have been awaiting the day you told me that!
*START MAKING OUT*

Vivi: Eiko, let’s make babies.
Eiko: Sorry I’m taken.
Steiner: Ahem* Whateh-ever do you uh, mean? A-Hmm..
Eiko: LOVE ME STEINER!
Vivi: Okay w/e.
*Vivi goes and looks up garnets skirt while Zidane and her make out*
Vivi: 😀 Sweeeet!

Vivi: Eiko, let’s make babies.
Eiko: Sorry I’m taken.
Steiner: Ahem* Whateh-ever do you uh, mean? A-Hmm..
Eiko: LOVE ME STEINER!
Vivi: Okay w/e.
*Vivi goes and looks up garnets skirt while Zidane and her make out*
Vivi: 😀 Sweeeet!
Funny, in a gay way.

Quina: "Uck! Frog taste nasty!!"
Zidane: "No! Frog taste good!!"

Freya: "I’m sorry, who are you?"
Fratley: "It’s me, your boyfriend!! You’ve been searching for me for years! How could you forget me?!?!"
Freya: "No, I’ve been traveling to find my home town destroyed. This is the first time we’ve met."
Fratley: "No it’s not!! Remember when you cried and weeped when I left!"
Freya: "If I was cryin’, why did you leave me in the first place?!?"
Fratley: "Uhh….."
Zidane: "I’m gonna go get me a beer. Vivi, wanna come?"
Vivi: "Sure."

Steiner: "No, Eiko, you’re not annoying."
Eiko: "Yes I am. I the annoyingest person you’ve ever met! How many other people would say ‘annoyingest’?"
Steiner: "Well, I know one, but that doesn’t make you annoying!"
Eiko: "But Zidane’s annoying! He likes annoying! Don’t give him the wrong message!"
Steiner: "But you’re not annoying."
Eiko: *screams really loud* "Grr! I hate you! Saying I’m not annoying!!"
*everyone around gives Eiko a dirty look*
Steiner: "But you’re not annoying."

Vivi: Garnet looks sooo hot today

(After Stainer finds the love later which Eiko wrote) Is this a love later? Who wrote it to who? Meybe someone left it here knowing i was going to come? Is it from…….QUINA?

Ahaha. Made me laugh.

Amarant: Lol.

Zidane: "I really believe that was a horrible deal for Los Angeles. Seriously, you’d think that you would be smart enough to try and get more."

Amarant: "Really, I have to agree with you. They’re a horrible orgnization. Just horrible."

Vivi: "I will go number one in the NBA draft."

Anything, voice acting was introduced in 10 ;).

Before entering the cargo plane in Dali

Zidane: Ooo, soft… and warm
Dagger: Yea well, it would really bad if my butt was hard and cold