The Fury Beneath

Juan shocks the world. As some of you may know, all I’ve done under my "Juan" alias is mock poems, songs, and raps. I figure I’d try my hand at a serious poem for once, probably the first one I’ve ever done in a serious, non-schoolwork manner.

The Fury Beneath

One shift, one jolt
awakens the deep-blue monster
lying deep within the sea.
Dashing across the vast ocean, preying
on vulnerable victims.
The Tsunami rages on; it stops for no one.
Unsuspecting natives watch as hundreds of years
wash out to sea, never to return.
Thousands lay slain, due to Mother Nature’s wrath.
All started by that one shift, one jolt.
Unleashing the fury beneath.

Fairly short, gets the point across, pretty good. Could maybe be better.

…………………….

Acpo, justify the caesura for me. I just wonder why it’s there at all.
Thing is, that’s basically prose. It’s not using anything…well…it’s not using any poetic imagery.

At first promises to be good but it ends as if you were trying to tell the broadcast in some dangerous beach, but well poems in prose do exist, i think it was in france when that thing started with the gaspard de la nuit from Aloysius Bertrand, with Arthur Rimbaud, even Charles Baudelaire wrote a book of poems in prose, even now i don’t know why they’re called poems in prose, but that is their original name.

it was kinda good…

even now i don’t know why they’re called poems in prose

Because the French are smelly and dumb.