Dan gives fight advice to all the little boys out there

Dan gives fight advice to all the little boys out there, to inspire venerable constitutions, and set ’em straight!

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It starts with the eyes
Give em’ the toughest glare ya can
And if’n it ain’t all that tough
GIVE IT ALL YOU GOT!

Cause ya gotta be brave
Gotta show em’ what you’re made of
And in case you have forgotten
Well, IT’S A LOT!

Their knees’ll start shaking
If’n your glarin’ does it’s job
And that’s when ya grit your teeth
AND GIVE EM’ HELL!

It starts with the eyes, see?
But the snarl is the capper
Half the game is in the start up
And if you glare and snarl like a champ
YOU’RE ALREADY ON TOP!

But keep your distance!
Don’t stick your face out like a fool
While you’re snarling to be cool
They’ll plant their knuckles on your cheek
AND THAT’LL BE THAT!

Retain your composure
The opening play is just to get them going
Get their blood real hot and boiling
Reeling to start the show!

So then you go!
This is where the real game begins
But if you did all that I told ya’
YOU’LL START ON TOP!

Keep those legs moving!
Bob your head and shuck and jive
If ya want to stay alive
YA GOTTA BE SMART!

Aim for the chin!
If’n the chin is made of glass
Then make it shatter!
Make it wobble to and fro!

BUT COVER YOUR FACE!
Didn’t I just tell you to shuck and jive
Ya gotta be smart to stay alive
So don’t be a fool!

Don’t kick at his groin
Groin kicks are for pussies and little girls
And though I appreciate em’ both
They’ve no place in a fight!

What if you’ve been hit?
Ya won’t want to do this anymore?
Quit your whining, son
Getting hit is a natural part of the job!

Just regain your composure!
It ain’t over till it’s over
You’ve always got a chance
if you’ve got the heart

You’ve been knocked down!?
Don’t just flail around the ground
Pick yourself back up
And please avoid his foot!

Just do what I tells ya
Shuck and jive and rock the jaw
And in no time
the victory will be yours

And if ya lose?
Well,then ya lost, what can I say
But you’ll also have won something
and that’s some bloody self-respect

So don’t forget
all the advice that I gave ya
and next time someone tries to cause trouble
well, GIVE ‘EM HECK!

not really sure of why I made this, and I’m not sure of what I think of it yet, but… I like the title. Maybe I made it because I liked the title and wanted to attach it to something. =|

I have noticed that this becomes even MORE awesome if you sing it to the tune of a random kid’s show theme song.

Try it, it’s true!

I can’t seem to get it going in my head with a good rhythm, but it’s quite amusing.