My first song!

Well I’ve been playing guitar alot more lately and also I’ve been trying to improve my writing. So with that said I wrote my first song on guitar. I will try to record it soon but for now I’ll post the lyrics here. This song is really personal so I’d like very much that viewers keep that in mind before posting a reply k. Well here it is! 😉

Shades of Molina. By: Casc 😉

And just one phone call sets the pace/
For what could be our last mistake/
Just forget and let it go/
And what we say can take a life away/
But thats the chance we chose to take/
Just forget everything/
That I said to….

…You used to mean everything/
When you were my ebony/
I once asked you to die for me/
When I was your Ivory/

The classic case we lost a friend/
This silence brings us home again/
Just forget and let it go/
If only we could just pretend/
Our story never had an end/
Just forget….

…Everything that I said to…

….You used to mean everything/

I guess you can label this under the whole "oh yeah thats just a common half assed love poem" But like I said I’m just stoked because the song rocks! 😉

You don’t need "/"s because you already have line breaks. If you kept it all in one paragraph, then you would need them.

Other than that.. meh =\

i like it. but i think that it is a lil short maybe u could add a corus (i think that i how u spell it) and continue it. but other than that i like it

So, you should record it and put it online.

But like I said I’m just stoked because the song rocks!
Why the fuck did you post it then.

Sounds like 80’s stuff..

Kinda reminds me of a Lional Richie song..

I’ve been alone with you inside my mind And in my dreams I’ve kissed your lips a thousand times I sometimes see you pass outside my door Hello, is it me you’re looking for?

@TK
I’m most likely going to put it online as soon as I record it. It won’t be for a while though because I’m still deciding weather or not I should add drums, bass, etc..or just leave it with guitar and vocals. Writting songs on guitar is something I just got into. A band I was in just broke up and I’m kinda caught up in starting a new one so I’ve strayed from writting solo guitar songs.

@ MMM
The reason I posted it was just to see what people think about my writting at this point. Just to see what I need to work on and what I’m good at (if anything) so I can get better. Just one more thing to pass time I guess

@ Alpott
I don’t know if that was an insult or just your honest opinion but I did take in alot influence from 80’s music. But more hinting towards Punk rock, and just 80’s rock in general.

edit: Tk your Avatar is the shit. I love that movie. It was one of my first Johanson flicks.

What you said pretty much says you don’t care if people criticise it.

My problem is you say things in a way I’ve heard lots of times before. I do think, however, you have a good sense of rhythm – it flows well enough, and could well flow to a lostprophets-esque beat.

And just one phone call sets the pace/
For what could be our last mistake/
Just forget and let it go/
And what we say can take a life away/
But thats the chance we chose to take/
Just forget everything/
That I said to….
However…you need to add more to it. It’s kinda short at present – at first it’s in a solid rhythm and then loses it when you lose the beat. Add in lines. It needs more to actually be a song song, unless there’s a lot of instrumental stuff you intend to add in.

It’s not bad.