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This is going to sound harsh… But if you want to write a good story, you need to be able to use good punctuation, good grammar and good spelling. Practice that, otherwise people are not going to look twice at stuff. Forget abbreviating words and stuff, and write as you would read a normal story.
Also: Read. You’ll pick up new words and begin to see how the pace of a story develops. You’ll begin to learn about different styles, and you can even trial out how authors write in your own works.
To create a decent character, you need to have a motive for the character. What is the thing that drives them on? Why are they in the story? Would the story be different without them in it? The physical looks aren’t as important as the motive, but they can have an effect. (The Dark Moon by Julia Gray makes use of a set of twins, one whom is seen as the Guardian, whereas its his crippled twin with strange coloured eyes who is the true hero.)
A hero has got to have a group of heavies with him. A group of guys and gals who support him during the fight scenes and who drive him on to his ultimate goal. A hero also has to have an anti-thesis: One whom loathes him or vice versa. We’re thinking along the lines of Sasuke and Itachi in Naruto here. We know right away that Sasuke exists for one reason: To kill a certain someone. And we know about the tragedy of the Uchiha clan. Instant storyline.
I could write a hell of a lot more, but it’s getting late… So I’ll check in on this when others have posted…