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ice!~neko
03-27-2004, 06:55 PM
Just a small poem i wrote for part of my art exam, i’m trying to describe The Catacombs.
The Catacombs
Underground there lays a secret,
Buried deep; the catacombs,
Misty stones do lace the walls,
A solemn place where angels roam.
hb smokey
03-31-2004, 05:05 PM
Um..that was a descent start, but nothing spectacular. No offense or anything:
"there lays a secret". It should be lay, not lays. And "misty stones lace the walls". I think most people know that the catacombs walls are made of stone or something along that nature. And why would angels roam underground? I’m not trying to be mean but I have a talent in poetry and I notice little stuff like this. This is a good start, keep it up.
Dhelor Aqari
04-01-2004, 07:29 AM
Originally posted by Tiduslives
um..that was a descent start but nothing spectacular. no offense or anything. "there lays a secret" it should be lay not lays.
um..that was a descent start but nothing spectacular. no offense or anything. "there lays a secret" it should be lay not lays.
Actually, if you want to get really technical, it should be "there lies a secret".
hb smokey
04-01-2004, 04:57 PM
Either would work.