Yes i did finish it, 8 whole chapters. 😀
Riku on a segway? Naah.
Chapter 1 – Heaaaaaaaaaaat.
It was a beautiful day on Destiny Islands, what more could you want? A heat wave struck the three teenagers like a hobo on a CHEESE sandwich.
Sora: It�fs so hot; I think that my skin is so burned you could use it as sand paper.
Kairi: *peels* my table needs a little sanding down, Sorry if it hurt.
Sora: Don�ft feel sorry, I�fm too numb to feel pain. Hey look, is that what I think it is?
Kairi: I�fm not sure; most of my eye has burned right out my head from staring at the sun too long.
Sora: Are we going to die?
Kairi: Pretty much.
Sora: The after life better have air conditioning.
Riku: Could I say something?
Sora: You�fre still alive? We thought you passed out after the heat hit 110F. Kairi poked you for a few hours.
Kairi: I got a got a great work out from it, feel my biceps, go on.
Riku: Don�ft make me get up, please.
Sora: Fine, then drown, the tides coming in by the way.
Kairi: Tide? Hey! That rhymes with ice cold air.
Sora: Oh no we�fre losing her.
Riku: What should we do?
Sora: Let�fs just dump her into the ocean.
Riku: I think that�fs called murder.
Sora: Not if she stays above the water.
Riku: You have a point there.
*Kairi starts to get up*
Sora: *GASP*
Riku: Did she just�cs-stand up?
Sora: Wow, and in this heat, she must be like wonder women, no, even better. Wonder Women.
Riku: Err, I think the extra energy is from her insanity.
Kairi: WWAAAARRRKK!!!!!!
Sora: Well I�fve had it.
Riku: Sora�c.help�c.she�fs nibbling on my beautiful hair.
Sora: Chocobo Syndrome!!
Riku: *gas�c.hey Kairi I�fm trying to gasp here.
Kairi: Nyuh�c*stops*
Riku: *GAAAAASSSSSSSPPPP�c..UGH *faints *
Sora: Wow, Kairi is acting like a Chocobo and Riku gasped so much he fainted. It�fs a small world after all.
*Sora gets a plank and knocks Kairi out�c.then hits Riku on the head whiles he�fs unconscious *
*At the secret place where Sora has a whip and Kairi and Riku are tied to a rock*
Sora: Wake up *snaps whip*
Riku: Wha…Hey It must be my….but why are you in it Sora?
Sora: This was the only thing that I thought off the top of my mind to cure you.
Kairi: Choco-choco WARK!!!
Riku: That didn�ft even make sense. -_-
Sora: SILENCE!!! *snaps*
Kairi: Nuyaaaaiii!!!! *starts to peck at Riku*
Riku: Cure her pleeeaaassseee!!!!!!
Sora: Very well, now then Kairi, what is my name?
Kairi: WAAARRRKKK!!
Sora: *snaps* wrong!
Kairi: Nyuh!!!!
Sora: Nope.
Kairi: I�fll buy a vowel.
Sora: Almost had it there.
*Kairi starts to peck at the ropes*
Riku: Oh no she�fs trying to escape, or should we say, A jail bird.
Sora: How does she do that?
Kairi: NYWWWAAIIIEE!!!
*Kairi escapes*
Riku: Uh-oh.
Sora: Did she escape?
Riku: We must capture her or else everyone shall be emotionally scarred.
Sora: I wonder if he clothes will stay on.
Riku: *snaps whip*
Sora: �c.I�fm going to bed.
*Meanwhile Kairi is madly running around on all fours and Selphie, Tidus and Wakka were simply�c.staring.*
Selphie: How come UltimaWeapon didn�ft mention us till now?
Tidus: What are we? Chopped Liver?
Wakka: Mmmm, liver.
Kairi: WARK!!
Selphie: Um, Kairi, girlfriend, are you okay.
Kairi: chocochocochocbho BO BO!!!
Tidus: I think the heat drove her stupid.
Wakka: Yeah, look at her little drool coming from her mouth and her glazed look on her face.
Kairi: O_O
*Kairi pokes Selphie and warks�cyet again*
Selphie: Ow! Stop that. Now what do you say?
Kairi: �c�c.*slaps Selphie so fast it�fs as if it never happened*
Selphie *gasp* did you just hit me?
Kairi: *slaps*
Selphie: I�fm going to tell your mom if you�c *Kairi slaps*
Kairi: Nyuh!!!
Selphie: Waaaaaaah. *Kairi slaps yet again*
Tidus: Should we do something?
Wakka: Nah,mon. Its my fantasy acting in front of my very eyes.
Tidus: Well I�fm a gentleman and I�fm going to tell Kairi to stop.
Wakka: But Kairi is a girl aswell.
Tidus: �c�c�c�c�c�c�c�c�c�c�c.Selphie�fs screwed big time.
*5 minutes later of Kairi slapping Selphie and Selphie doing nothing about it�c*
*Sora and Riku get back to beach*
Sora: Uh oh, Kairi has her 2nd victim.
Riku: Who was her first?
Sora: You.
Riku: Ah.
Sora: Kairi! Stop slapping Selphie�cwhoa; Selphie you better put some ice on your face. It�fs like a balloon, a bleeding balloon O_O;
Selphie: Sora!! Make her *Kairi slaps*
Riku: Omg, that�fs the problem with girls like you, you just stand there and let yourself get slapped around like some�c *Kairi slaps Riku*
Tidus: Uh oh, Riku isn�ft allowed to hit a girl, so he can�ft defend himself�c.Wakka?
Wakka: ZzZzZzZzZz.
Tidus: Wake up stupid.
Wakka: Huh? Why�fd you wake me up? I was dreaming about a dream that I had a dream about me sleeping.
Riku: Sora do something
Kairi: *slaps*
Sora: Err�c.um�c�c THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!
Everyone: Wtf?
Sora: I�fm not sure either. Quick! Everyone grab Kairi and make sure she doesn�ft get away!
Kairi: *zooms*
Selphie: Wow she runs fast, Ow, my face!! *cries all the way home.*
Riku: Sora, if only you would have thrown her into the ocean, none of this would have happened.
Sora: Yeah and Kairi sure did a number on your hair.
Riku: Wha…*has a bold patch on his head* omg�c.you know what Sora, I think I�fm going to lie down until my hair grows back.
Sora: Yeah you do that. Now to find a way to get Kairi. Who�fs with me?!?!?!?!
*cricket chirps*
Goofy: I�fm with you Sora!!!
Sora: �c
Goofy: Oh right, haven�ft been introduced yet *vanishes*
Sora: Now let�fs see, Chocobo�fs like to eat�c.green things I suppose. Maybe some kelp and some old meatloaf.
*sets up a trap for Kairi*
Sora: There she is, now, once she sees the green food a big box will fall on top of her and she shall be owned by moi.
Kairi: Waaarrrkk!!! *pokes Sora*
Sora: WHA!! Oh um�cH-hi yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!
*Kairi drags Sora around the island*
Riku: *still waiting for hair to grow back*
Tidus and Wakka: *acting like gentleman and not helping a single bit*
Chapter 2 – Kairi recovers
Sora: Ack!! There�fs no way outta this mess, this whole island has been torn apart by this heat, this wretched heat! Why it can�ft just leave us alone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
�c�cWow, Its one of those anime moments where someone screams there head off all dramatic-like and a miracle happens�clets find out.
Sora: *looks up at the sky* Wha? It�fs kind of cold all of a sudden. Haha! It�fs snowing everybody! Snowing I tells you! Snowing�c. Ahhhh!! *Sora gets a snowflake in his eye* get it out its freezing me eye!!…oh never mind it melted.
Kairi: Choco-choco�c�c? *Kairi drops to her feet*
Sora: K-Kairi? You�fre not crazy anymore! Woo hoo!
Kairi: �c.I feel so cold�c.. *falls asleep*
Sora: I�fll take you to your room�c..oh man you�fre heavy.
Kairi: What�fs that suppose to mean?!
Sora: Nothing�c.Riku help me here.
Riku: Nu-uh, still waiting for hair.
Sora: But.
Riku: HAIR FIRST!
Sora: Okay, Yeesh.
*the next day*
*Sora comes into Kairi�fs bedroom with soup*
Sora: Hi, I bought vegetable soup.
Kairi: Thank you�cbut aren�ft you supposed to give someone chicken soup when they have a cold?
Sora: Erm�cwe ran out of chickens�c.hey I bought you some crackers.
Kairi: Still snowing outside?
Sora: Yup. I hope you get better. Then we can go outside and play in the snow.
*Sora walks out the bedroom and goes outside*
Kairi: Wait!!…you walked out with my soup! Hey come back�c.whaa! *falls off the bed*
Sora: Wow what a fright it was last night. *sips soup* Mmmm, crackers.
*notices Riku is still on the floor with snow covering him up*
Sora: *sips soup* So how do you go to bathroom?
Riku: �c. Could you help me up? My pants are frozen to the floor.
Sora: Sorry but I have this delicious hot soup in my hands. *walks off*
Riku: No wait! How am I supposed to get up?
Sora: Take off your pants.
Riku: �c.Sora, its 25F cold, you really expect me to walk across the island to my house in my underwear?
Sora: Pretty much so.
Riku: T_T
*15 minutes later*
Riku: No one is in sight, now is my chance.
*Riku gets out of his pants which are now permanently stuck to the floor. Hides behinds trees and rocks so as not to get caught.*
Riku: Oh crap, there�fs nothing to hide behind from here to my house. Better to make a dash for it.
Selphie: Hi!
Riku: Eeep! Where did you just pop out from?
Selphie: Well my cheeks are better now, time to get revenge on Kairi. The B******
Riku: Whoa! You called Kairi a Biscuit. Well I better be off.
Selphie: Yeah, by the way, nice underwear Riku. *giggles*
Riku: Eeeep! *runs off*
Selphie: I have the greatest plan to scare Kairi out of her mind. Muhahahahaha!
Tidus: Yeah while you�fre there, get us some chips.
Wakka: Yeah, we�fre being gentleman by not getting up at all.
Selphie: >_>;
Chapter 3 – The madness has begun!!!!!!
*meanwhile, Sora was sitting on the frozen beach looking at the sky*
Sora: Brrr, its cold, so cold�c.hmmm. *throws soup into the air* Woo hoo it froze in mid-air!
Uknown: I have come to see this world.
Sora: Yeah nice try Ansem, fooled me once, shame on you, fooled me twice, shame on�cyou.
Uknown : Tied, to the darkness.
Sora: *slaps head* fine, fine, if it�fll make you shut up. �gWhat are you talking about? Well, who are you?�h
Uknown: Soon all will be revealed.
Sora: �gWell whoever you are, stop freaking me out like this,huh?�h *Sigh* such happy memories.
Uknown: I�fm a fish, idiot.
Sora: Fish? Where?
Fish: Up here HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEEHEHEHEHEHE!!! *giant fish appears in the sky.*
Sora: OMG!! *screams then runs away*
Fish: Fish gonna eat you, fish gonna eat you! *disappears*
Sora: Wha?…..Uh-oh, I�fm starting to space out here. O_O Whoa, I can feel the colors, lalalalalalala.
Riku: Sora, wake up!
Sora: Huh? *wakes up and realizes he fainted in the cold and is on the floor*
Riku: I saw you in the snow; you were talking about giant Ansem fish and feeling colors.
Sora: I was?
*behind the rocks*
Selphie: Ahahaha, they might think of me as the ditsy hyper little girl, but they won�ft realize what�fs in store for them, MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! This is CNN.
*10 minutes later*
Wakka: Is Selphie bringing our food?
Tidus: No
Wakka: Ah, ok.
Sora: Gee, I wonder if Kairi is alright, I mean with that cold and all, who knows what might happen to her!
*Sora dashes to Kairi�fs rescue*
Sora: DON�fT WORRY! I�fLL�csave�cyou.
*Kairi is asleep*
Sora: Great, I ran for no reason�cbut wait. For ALL I know one minute she�fs asleep the next she�fs starts floating around the room, throwing up and turns into this sickening evil creature who has such a potty mouth!….man I hated that movie. *shakes head* But I must make sure that never happens!!!
*a few minutes later Kairi slowly wakes up and notices Sora hold a cross, some garlic and a steak to her face*
Kairi: Sora have you lost you�fre mind?!!?!?
Sora: �c.
Kairi: Obviously you have.
Sora: I must do it in order to save everybody else! *grabs the steak*
Kairi: You�fre crazy!!
Sora: No I�fm not; I�fm selling this stuff �c.. a dollar fifty altogether.
Kairi: Do you have change for a $100?
Sora: THE MADDNESS HAS BEGUN!! *shoves Kairi into an ordinary brown bag*
Kairi: -_-
Sora: Now to hide the evidence!
*drags bag outside and notices Tidus and Wakka sitting outside*
Tidus: Hey, where�fd you get that cool looking brown bag?
Sora: Internet.
Tidus: Ah, ok, Wakka, remember to tell Selphie to buy some Internet.
Wakka: OK!
*Tidus and Wakka watch Sora drag the big brown bag*
Tidus: What do you think is in that attractive brown bag?
Wakka: Attractive? O.o
Tidus: Yeah, it reminded me of Kairi.
Wakka: Right. I�fm not sure�cyou think it�fs something cool?
Tidus: Probably.
Wakka: Let�fs follow Sora then�c?
Tidus: *from a distance* Hurry up!
Wakka: >_<
*meanwhile, night time is upon Destiny Islands and Selphie is up to no-good*
Selphie: *sees Riku staring at the stars* What are you doing?
Riku: They�fre coming�cfor us.
Selphie: Who?
Riku: The little black men of course.
Selphie: Either that was a racist comment or you�fre kwazy.
Riku: No, I�fm telling the truth, see. I was asleep in the secret place and I saw a little black creature with BIG glowing eyes.
*Square-Enix headquarters*
Employee: Um, how did Riku find out about the heartless?
Nomaru: I�fm not sure, re-program the game and make sure the glitch never comes up.
Employee: Right.
*Meanwhile*
Kairi: You�fve got to let me out some time you know.
Sora: Nah, the bag�fs material is breathable.
Kairi: Okay then�cwait a second.
Sora: Time to release the evil spirit that has captured your sweet essence�cKairi?
Kairi: *on the island* Sora! Sorry but, well, I have to go home now, have fun on the boat!
Sora: Okay!!
*Kairi walks off*
Sora: Gee, it�fs kind of getting cloudy�c*boat stops* what the?
*The boat won�ft get any further*
Sora: Either there�fs something wrong with my eyes or there�fs some invisible wall�ca few feet from the shore?! *sighs then walks back to the shore through the obviously shallow waters*
*It starts to rain*
Sora: Time to hide inside the little shelter.
*Shelter*
Sora: Whoa! I�fve never seen this before, it looks like a glowing circle! Should I touch it.. *gasp* it must be the transporter to the evil spirit that has possessed Kairi!! But I must!
*steps onto the circle and it starts to glow and feels a warm feeling*
Sora: *Sigh* This isn�ft so bad�c
Circle: Would you like to save?
Sora: *screams*
Chapter 5 – Ninja Bunnies!!!
Circle: Would you like to save?
Sora: The pain�cthe pain�c*curls up in a ball*
Riku: Hey Sora ever been in a warm shower then the water went real cold? *disappeared*
Sora: Well that was random.
Riku: Nah, I�fm really am here.
Sora: But it�fs raining like mad.
Riku: Yeah, I dodged ever drop.
Sora: Wow you did.
Riku: Yup.
Sora: So now what?
Riku: Wait a minute, this is a test.
Sora: Ooo, are you going to make a high pictched sound for 60 seconds?
Riku: No, well that would be fun. Okay! *beep*
Sora: This is boring, I�fm going outside.
Riku: I�fll stay here.
Sora: Suite yourself, oh and Riku, watch out for the ninja bunnies.
Riku: N�c.n�c�cn�c..n�c.inja�c..b-
Sora: See ya! *closes door*
Riku: Ninja bunny? Mother told me about the invasion of the bunnies, I must use this shelter to form a base where I shall be safe. But wait! What about the others? I must go and rescue them.
*Meanwhile*
Tidus: I do believe it is raining.
Wakka: Indeed it is.
Tidus: Selphie still hasn�ft brought us our meals.
*Selphie in dark gothy cloths*
Selphie: You rang?
Wakka: Selphie, you�fre looking bitchy.
Tidus: Bitchy indeed.
Selphie: Thank you, now then, would you gentlemen follow me.
Wakka: Oh no, we�fre not moving until you bring us our meals!
Selphie: Yeesh, you sound like my grandparents.
Tidus: I�fll have the lobster.
Selphie: (my darkness is weary, I must steal a heart) We don�ft have lobster.
Tidus: But we live on a beach! There has to be lobster in the ocean somewhere.
Selphie: Well I don�ft see any.
Tidus: Fine fine�ccaviar.
Selphie: *sigh*
Wakka: Oh! I�fll have a burger!
Selphie: Fine. Whatever. But in return you have to give me your hearts.
Wakka: See Tidus? I told you she had a crush on me.
Tidus: The Wakka charm works again.
Chapter 6 – Evil Crow!
Selphie: Not that. *sigh* Just follow me.
Tidus: Are you taking us to the kitchen of many foods?
Selphie: Err, sure. (Muhahahahaha, my plan is working)
*Tidus and Wakka follow the strangely demented Selphie, meanwhile�c*
*Kairi�fs bedroom*
Kairi: *sigh* I think that nap did some good, I feel well enough to get up
Sora: *behind the curtain* DON�fT GET UP!
Kairi: What are you doing behind the curtain?
Sora: *hisses*
Kairi: �cokay�c
Sora: I was protecting you from the evil spirits.
Kairi: What evil spirits?
Sora: They�fre dark evil creatures�cI see them at night�c I must protect you!
Kairi: Okay Sora, enough with the craziness.
Sora: Who said I�fm crazy?! I�fm not crazy! Ha ha ha! *Laughs insanely*
Kairi: O_O; I think I�fm going to go outside
*Kairi walks out the bedroom and leaves Sora laughing there eerily*
*Meanwhile, Riku, where ever the hell he is, notices an odd bird on the shack*
Riku: What the? Oh hello little black�ccrow.
Crow: �c O_O o_o O_O o_o O_O o_o O_O
Riku: EVIL!!!!
Crow: *hiss*
Riku: *runs away*
*Another random moment with The Brady Bunch�cI mean Riku*
Kairi: I wonder where Riku is. *walks around on the pier*
Riku: Pssssssssst.
Kairi: Is that you Riku? Where are you?
Riku: Look up.
Kairi: �c Why are you hanging from that tree wearing total black in a Mission Impossible fashion?
Riku: It is my destiny to save us from the shadows.
*Square-Enix*
Director: HE KNOWS!!!!
Everyones: *panics*
Kairi: Right. Well why you don�ft come down from there.
Riku: My pocky got stuck in the tree. Why else would I be hanging like this?
Kairi: *sigh*
Riku: Oh. Not a believer huh? Well you go on your little way, be warned, for when the clock strikes 12, the spell is off and you�fll be turned back into your rags�c I mean�c I don�ft need you!
Kairi: Whatever. *walks off*
Riku: No! Wait! Not again! Help me doooown!
*The odd bird lands on Riku�fs head*
Crow: O_O o_o O_O o_o O_O o_o O_O
Riku: Waaaaah.
Chapter 7 – Segway blade
*Riku wiggles out of the tree*
Riku: Yes! My pocky survived! The Riku luck works aaaaaggaaaiiiiin.
Crow: Where�fs the cream filling?
Riku: *screams*
*Riku starts to step back as the crow is staring with its big black eyes*
Riku: Get away from me! *grabs a stick and throws it at the bird*
Crow: Where�fs the cream filling?
Riku: Please�c stop it�c
Crow: Where�fs the cream filling?
Riku: What are you talking about?
Crow: You will die in 7 hours.
*The crow flies off*
Riku: Y-yeah! You fly off! You dumbass buzzard!
*something lands on Riku�fs head*
Riku: *cries*
*Meanwhile*
Selphie: Now then, was it the corn flakes or the rice crispies you asked for?
Wakka: Corn flakes!
Tidus: I like my eggs sunny side up.
Selphie: Okay but I�fll have to�cwait�cwhat am I doing?! *flips table upside down*
Wakka: *gulp* I think I wet myself.
Tidus: Nah, the glass of water spilled on your pants.
Wakka: Ah.
Selphie: Enough! Now then, be good little boys and come to me. *laughs evilly*
*meanwhile*
*Sora�fs room*
Sora: *sigh* what a wild 20 pages this was. I�fm so tired. *sleeps*
*30 minutes later*
Sora: *eyes closed* is someone there? I�fm trying to sleep.
Heartless: *babble*
Sora: AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!
*Outside*
Riku: *gasp* that sounds like Sora!
Crow: Don�ft you think you should dry up?
Riku: Yeah, I stayed in the shower a little too long�cwait a minute *grabs crow*
Riku: You�fre going to stay in the freezer until I see why Sora was screaming like a baby.
Crow: Yeah go you son of a�c*freezer door closes*
*Sora�fs room*
Riku: *gasp* what�fs going on?
*heartless are everywhere and Selphie is floating above the ground while Sora, Kairi, Wakka and Tidus are on the floor motionless*
Selphie: Welcome to my lair, Care for some tea? It�fs�ctingly.
Riku: What�fs going on here?!
Chapter 8 – THE eNd!!!
Selphie: Oh it�fs so simple really. *Falls on the floor* Crap! Stupid heartless, this time, keep the lines still. *attaches string and floats back up*
Now then, I plan to take over ALL the worlds. With the help of the darkness. Thanks to the help of Ansem.
Riku: Ansem? That fish Sora was dreaming about?
Selphie: Ack. Nevermind. In order for my darkness to maintain, I must have your heart! Heartless, after him!
Riku: Aaaaaaahhhh!!!!
*suddenly, a blinding light fills the room and an echoing voice booms �gUse the segway�h *
Riku: The Segway? Oh! Is this some legendary weapon to defeat evil?
Voice: No, just escape using it.
Riku: Well I�fm not going to run away this time, I ran away from dozens of things, but this time I�fm not going run away this time *grabs Segway and whacks Selphie so hard she falls out of the window and falls*
Selphie: �c
*all the heartless disappear*
Riku: S-Selphie? Are you okay?
Selphie: �c
Riku: Uh-oh.
Selphie: �c
Riku: *gulp*
*everyone else in the room wakes up*
Sora: What happened?
Kairi: I feel so tired.
Wakka: Yeah. What happened to our meals?
Tidus: ZzZzZzZz
Riku: You know *holds Segway* Let�fs go play hero�c Oh man! This is heavy!
*everyone looks out the window*
Riku: What happened to Selphie?
Everyone: Meh.
*heartless appears in the corner of the room when everyone was gone*
Neo-Heartless: *evil voice* It�fs not over yet. > : )
***Later***
Riku: I wonder what�fs in the fridge. Oh it�fs you.
Crow: Why�cyou�clittle�c
Riku: You know, I�fm WAS going to run you under hot water, but now I�fm just going to throw you into the ocean.
Crow: NOOOOOOO!!!
~~~Riku On a Segway2 Coming Soon~~~
I hoped you enjoyed it (yes it did have a plot…find it) and had many laughs. Segway 2 coming soon!!
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