Bahamut ZERO’s Random Poetry / Ramblings Section…

I’m not normally one for poetry, indeed this could be the only time I actually post one, but let’s make a thread in case the bug bites me. (If it sucks, I know, I just feel like posting it at the moment.)

So here goes:-

"What did I do wrong?",
A question that escapes my lips as I sit here,
My head in my hands,
My heart in my stomach,
My eyes filled with tears.

I cannot explain anything,
if you will not let me talk.
I cannot defend myself,
if you will not hear my words.

All I want is a chance,
for you to open the door.
So I can look into your life once again,
and see how it was I hurt you.

I do not want things to end the way that they have…

That’s a good poem Adam. I think you should make it rhyme more because the poem doesn’t flow well together and it could do with being more longer but it’s a decent first poem.

That’s really fantastic. I can relate to what you are writing about, and you have phrased things really well- it gave me chills. I prefer poems that do not rhyme, and you make it flow well. You should make a habit of writing poetry.

Great work BZ.

I really loved how your poem sounded. I really enjoyed reading…

I cannot explain anything,
if you will not let me talk.
I cannot defend myself,
if you will not hear my words

Damn dude, I seriously dig poetry that makes sense like that.

Anways, I hope you continue to write poetry, I bet it would great!

The fact that people posted that my poem was rather good shocked me, but I didn’t feel the inspiration to write any more… Up until now. I was able to concentrate emotion and think back to my past and come up with some more stuff. I even made it rhyme! :O God forbid! Yeah, anyways, I wrote a few poems, and I’ll post them as I go along. Some are plain silly, but yeah, let me know what you think.

Oh, and the poems were written to certain songs, and I shall post the appropriate lyrics to the poem. Like with this one.

Without further ado.

The Power To Say Goodbye. (10/05/03.)

�You took it back,
how could go and do something like that?
My fingernail phase,
Worst has got the best of you,
I ask you and I know I need to change.
You took it back,
You ripped my heart out of me then you put it back.
I pulling my hair,
I let you just a million times,
I love you even though it isn�t fair.�
� THE USED, GREENER WITH THE SCENERY.

I can�t find those words, the words I need to say,
They sit upon the tip of my tongue, they freeze there every day.

My mind is made up, my soul is set,
Yet when my heart speaks, I begin to regret.

The choices that I have made, the question is still there,
All this pain and suffering, I have been forced to hear.

I need to say this simple word, I need to close my past,
If I am truly to be free, and if I am to last.

My existence and my well being, hangs upon this word,
Do I take the right path, or do I fall upon my sword?

You hold me in your thrall, that I cannot be free,
In spite of my struggle, you still cannot see

That I want you to be gone, now and forever,
I need to say goodbye, since we can�t be together.</center>

In your own words, Awesome!
This is really good stuff, your wording is spot on. You manage to kind of make things understandable, yet twist them, giving them much more depth.
The same goes for the second poem. I’m not a big fan of rhyming, but you’ve managed to keep it both simple (Easy rhyming flow) and thoughtful (Use of words).

Great poem Adam. Short and sweet. It rhymed and flowed really good too.

Well done.

Your comments are appreciated, thank you. 🙂

Next poem, well, I’ll let you draw your own conclusions.

Hope�s Dream. (10/05/03.)

�Take me back to the real world,
Gifts of anger in all of my wasted days,
Get away if the pillars fall,
My wicked ways,
It’s all in ruins,
It’s all crumbled,
They are ruins.�
� INME, RUINS.

I wanted a dream, I wanted something so idealistic,
I wanted you, I wanted this thing specific.

I wanted you, as you appeared in my mind,
I wanted you, to this dream my hopes did I bind.

All dreams, they must come to an end,
All dreams, this one I must comprehend.

All dreams, they cannot be as they seem,
All dreams, my hope I shall redeem.

I still see you, in the vault I thought closed,
Of you I have had, all my allotted dose.

I want now to find, something to dream anew,
Before I drive myself mad, thinking of you.
</center>

Great poems there dear friend, I can certainly relate to them in most ways. Keep it up, you know you can write.

Adam, your gift with prose is moving, and your ability to grace the page with poet’s blood is something I find amazing. You have true talent and unquestionable skill. Every poem I’ve read so far has moved me, and I only sit here and wait for more.

Once more, thanks for your comments. Okay, another one (looks down the list…) Okay, we’ll do this one next…

Holding On. (10/05/03.)

�Can’t you see, that I wanna be, there with open arms?
It’s empty tonight, and I’m all alone
Get me through this one
Do you notice I’m gone?
Where do you run to so far away?
I want you to know that I miss you I miss you so
I want you to know that I miss you I miss you so.�
� FINCH, LETTERS TO YOU.

I feel gentle tears of regret, rolling down my face,
I look back to my memories, many spent within this place.

I look back in time, seek the feelings that I felt,
I want them to vanish, I wish for them all to melt.

I hold your face in my mind, I know it very well,
How did we come this far, how did we ever tell,

Each other the sort of things, that we once had said,
I have been in many pieces, I think I�ve also bled.

My hand is still holding, grasping onto you,
How I wish you�d let go, how I wish to be true.

I want to be gone, I want to be released,
I want to close my eyes, I want my feelings to cease.

I had some good times here, I felt so very care-free,
Now I can feel nothing, now I must from here flee.</center>

When you can write with enough emotion to actually depress me when I’m not feeling depressed at all, not happy mind you, but something inbetween, then no one can question your skill with the pen and the pad my friend.

Well done

What the heck, I feel like posting this, just because I think it explains certain things that happened in the distant memories of my past rather well… We all have moments when life looks pretty bleak, when things look as if they’re never gonna get better, when we think that we’re at the bottom and we’re never gonna get up again… I had mine at 14 years old, and this ramble (for it is not poetry exactly) kinda explains that.

Plus, I was reading this to my Dad and he said "you know, you really write depressingly. You should never show this to your mother, she’ll think you’re a manic depressant." Cheers Dad. Great stuff. Anyways, the ramble.

My Lowest Ebb. (14/05/03.)

�I’m so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
’cause your presence still lingers here
And it won’t leave me alone

These wounds won’t seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There’s just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I’d wipe away all of your tears
When you’d scream I’d fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me.�
� EVANESCENCE, MY IMMORTAL.

The pain is excruciating. It eats away at me,
I double up, I bite my lip, there are no tears left to flow,
I hold my gut, I try to breathe, the pain like a blow,
It revels in its power, it holds me in its sway, no-where for me to go.

There is nothing I can do, I can only lie there,
Tube in my nose, tube in my arm, tube in my spine,
The doctors sit there and talk, yet not to me. Not to me,
What are they hiding? Why are they not reassuring me?

I think the worst as I lie here, the pain controlling my dreams,
I�m dying of cancer, something eating at my insides,
I won�t ever make it out of this hospital, I won�t ever be free of pain,
The work I�ve achieved so far in life, marked with this stain.

No food may enter my mouth, no taste on my tongue,
No strength is left for me to stand,
No strength is left for me to move my hand,
No strength is left for me to even smile.

I am surrounded by strangers in a big city miles from home,
I have no friends with me to help me,
I only see my family for brief periods of time,
I only have nurses who are no help to quieten my fears,

I only have the pain.
The pain will not leave me.
The pain will not stop.
The pain will not go.

I am at my lowest ebb.

Will I ever be able to climb back again?
This disease has crippled me,
This disease has scarred me,
This disease will never leave me.

I hate it,
I hate myself,
I hate my body,
I hate it for doing this to me.

I am at my lowest ebb.

Why?
Why do I have to feel this pain?
What have I done?
What actions have I performed in the past, to deserve to feel this pain?

I curl up as it comes back, I shiver in the dark,
Sleep will not come,
Relief will not come,
Only more pain will come.

I am at my lowest ebb.

Nothing but pain is left for me,
My weight will continue to waste throughout the night,
My body will continue to weaken without a fight,
It will all continue until I am nothing.

I am at my� My�

� LET THE PAIN COME!
I am at my lowest, I have no-where else to go.

LET THE PAIN COME!
I will face it, my ultimate enemy.

LET THE PAIN COME!
I will fight it, I will throw what strength I have left at it.

LET THE PAIN COME!
I will embrace it, absorb it, I will defeat it or succumb.

A light of hope comes through the window as the pain lessens,
Parents arrive, and see their boy. A slight smile on his pale face,
Doctors examine me, pleased at seeing that shy, weak smile,
I have finally turned the corner. I have finally begun to climb.

From my lowest ebb�

Side note, there is some happier stuff on its way, I just feel like posting these up one by one, skipping along the word document I’ve got with all this written in. I’ll do the happier stuff later because I don’t think it’s as good.

And another one because I’m bored.

Falling Apart. (10/05/03.)

�I slipped away further from you trying to find what is real,
You�re somebody else that I never knew, and someone that I can�t feel.

I shut it away, I keep it in me. Is this what it takes to keep me alive?
So you take me and you break me, and you see I�m falling apart.
Complicate me and forsake me, you push me out so far; there�s no other feeling.�
� TRUST COMPANY, FALLING APART.

My life is crumbling, falling through my fingers,
I grasp to a strand, hoping for it to linger.

You stand there above me, your indifference so cold,
Your ignorance of my feelings, breaking the mould.

I wanted to give to you, everything I had,
You took those feelings eagerly, you seemed to very glad.

Now you have turned away, destroyed me with one blow,
My feelings fall apart around me, I feel so low.

I will be back, even though I am down,
I will smile, even if all I can do now is frown.

I can re-build, I can be whole once more,
I hope you are well, I�ll show myself out the door.</center>

——————————————————–

This one, is just plain silly, but I did promise something happier in my last post… So I’ll release it now as it really is rather silly.

Fun Time! (10/05/03.)

�We want fun and you better believe it!
We want fun ‘cos we desperately need it!
We want fun, but you dont understand…
… you gotta HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! make me a man!

We want fun and you better believe it!
We want fun either take it, or leave it!
We want fun, and we’re gonna get pasted!
We want to have fun, and we want to get wasted!�
� ANDREW WK, WE WANT FUN.

Ten bottles of Stella on the table, ten!
To drink all at once, would put me amongst men!

Nine bottles of Stella on the table, nine!
To drink these all now, that would be fine!

Eight bottles of Stella on the table, eight!
Downing all these now, would be super great!

Seven bottles of Stella on the table, seven!
Sweet, sweet beer, you take me to heaven!

Six bottles of Stella on the table, six!
Just enough time to go and fetch me a twix!

Five bottles of Stella on the table, five!
Drinking all this beer, makes me feel so alive!

Four bottles of beer on the table, four!
Now the barman is becoming a dreadful bore!

Three bottles of Stella on the table, three!
I think I should go and lean against that tree!

Two bottles of Stella on the table, two!
I�ll try really hard not to go and spew!

One bottle of Stella on the table, one!
My, hasn�t tonight been awful good fun?

No bottles of Stella on the table, none.
That�s it, I think for this night I�m done.</center>

So, any comments?

Great new collection of poems, Adam. Your sense of humour and sensitivity really shines through in your writing, which is good. You have definitely improved from your first poem so the only place you can go now is..up.

And again, more happiness. 🙂 I think this one was written looking back on something that happened years ago. It’s amazing exactly how far back I looked to write some of these… Anyways.

All�s Well. (10/05/03.)

�There’s a part of me so insecure,
Of all that I could have and all that I’ve gone through.
If there could be a way through a better design,
I’d probably screw it up and let it slip away.

Well I wonder if I stayed here would you become a better part of me.
I can say now that you changed me and I’ve become a better part of me.�
� COURSE OF NATURE, BETTER PART OF ME.

Her hand to touch, her lips to taste.
Her lovely smile, not a moment to waste.

Her beautiful smell, her wonderful hair.
Her sparkling eyes, so very fair.

We walk in the world, we walk in our dreams,
We wonder at how different, everything now seems.

Life was so empty, life was so meaningless,
Now I have you, time is seamless.

All is well, with you sat in my arms.
All is well, with the clasping of our palms.
All is well, with each moment together we spend.
All is well, on each other we now depend.

All is well.</center>

This one seems appropriate at this moment in time… Reality and fiction blur together. Reality of what people say to me and reality of what is true seem to become one, and now I begin to realise that what is said can be different to what is meant.

Either that or I’m drunk. I no longer care.

No Longer Care. (11/05/03.)

�Sometimes I need to remember just to breathe,
Sometimes I need you to stay away from me,
Sometimes I�m in disbelief I didn�t know,
Somehow I need you to go.

Don�t stay,
Forget our memories,
Forget our possibilities,
What you were changing me into,
(Just give me myself back and)
Don�t stay,
Forget our memories,
Forget our possibilities,
Take all your faithlessness with you,
(Just give me myself back and)
Don�t stay.�
� LINKIN PARK, DON�T STAY.

I look into the mirror, tell me what do I see?
A fool looking back, a broken image of me.

An image of a person, who fell into your trap,
Someone who was used, and cast away as crap.

I wanted to be there, wanted to hold you strong,
These feelings they guided me, how could I be so wrong?

You never cared for me, you never gave a damn,
You rolled me into a ball, and flushed me down the pan.

Now that I realise this, now I see these lies,
Now I can look at myself, find those feelings I despise.

Burn them away from my soul, make myself feel whole,
Kick start my life again, and set myself a new goal.</center>

Comments? Well, tell me what you think. If not, I’ll post more laters….

Great poems Adam. I can relate to the recent poem better than I can the earlier poem for obvious reasons. It was good to get an insight into someone else’s feelings about being lied to because I have been caught into the web of deceit myself.

Well done Adam.

Thank you Amelia, for your comments. I’m glad you were able to relate to the poem. =D

This one is a little, well, intriguing for me. I’m not quite sure where it came from… Normally I don’t let hate and anger get to me, but the words on this day were just flowing around quite nicely. I’m quite proud of it, even if it does seem aggressive, because those two emotions I’m not really that used to.

Actually, come to think of it, I don’t know what caused the anger and stuff… Must’ve been thinking a LONG way back when I wrote it… Anyways.

Hate Me. (13/05/03.)

�Creeping, Stabbing, Heart so hollow,
Too much reality for you to swallow,
Wonder it is cruelty,
To capture it in all it’s beauty.

You can break me, entertain me,
Take it all back for the sons,
You can leave me, Incinerate me,
Disfigure my mosaic.�
� INME, MOSAIC.

Stabbing deep, dark keep, feelings seep, I feel so hated,
Biting hard, knife shard, no guard, your temper�s grated,
Skinning knees, ill to please, sting like bees, you�re not sated,
Face slapped, hands clapped, body mapped, with bruises berated.

Unloved, despised, I do crawl in your darkest pit,
Unloved, despised, just another target for you to hit,
Unloved, despised, I suffer and yet you just sit,
Unloved, despised, you look and see a piece of shit.

Eroded, goaded, you kick me when I�m down,
Blasted, plastered, I need a smile and get a frown,
Agony, ecstasy, never again will you take me to town,
Hated, berated, fuck you, I�m not gonna drown.

I�m leaving you, I can�t stand anymore,
I�m leaving you, this has become a bore,
I�m leaving you, and your fucking hateful laws.
I�m leaving you, and I�m slamming the door.</center>

Wow, some fine work there my friend. Gosh, it brings a tear to my eye, and that’s the kind of stuff I’m always much obliged to read about. You have a great talent, and you know exactly how to touch one’s heart. You keep it up.

Very good poem Adam. I like the usage of a bit of repetition in the first parts of some lines and the rhyming makes the poem flow together well. Keep up the great work Adam.

Those of you who have read my LJ will have read this already. For others, well, have a look see…

Have You Ever? (21/07/03.)

�Seeing things, going places
Living out of suitcases
Every day’s like a dream
I find myself talking to shadows
Taking the train of youth
Back home again

Cause I don’t want to be a hero
But I don’t want to be a zero

And I don’t wanna sit here wasting time
I just want a place inside your mind
I wish that I could turn the clocks right back
It’s easy to forget just what you’ve got�
� FEEDER, TURN.

Have you ever wished to be someplace else?
With someone that you want to hold close?
With someone who you wish to know more about?
With someone whose name your mind does shout.

Have you ever been down a road?
Faced before pain and strove,
not to repeat that same mistake?
Only to find again that path to take?

Have you ever wanted to cry?
Over frustration and wondering why,
fate is cruel and does now try,
to thrust upon you another roll of the die.

I stare again, a decision to make,
these two forks, one I need to take,
Once before one I have walked down,
I emerged from it wearing a frown,
Different circumstances are involved this time,
Do I try the same path? Face these feelings of mine?
This time I feel this path is right,
But it could be wrong, it could be a fight,
The other path, the easy way to go,
Like rafting a river, should I move with the flow?
Please someone, please show me a sign,
Which path is the right one to climb?</center>
—————————————————

Just felt like sharing it~

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, that is a fantastic poem, I can definetly feel what is being said here.

Good poem Adam. I like the way your poems are based on songs and then you improve the themes from the cetain song in your poem. Anyways, that poem was great because it makes you think a bit about life and reflect, which is a nice way to do sometimes.

I’m bored. And tired. So here’s an old poem that I found on my site that I felt like sharing… To be honest, I forget exactly what it was I was writing about at the time… Probably miles off in the distant past. Enough waffle.

To The Fire – 21/05/03.

"He said I’m going to buy this place and burn it down
I’m going to put it six feet underground
He said I’m going to buy this place and watch it fall
Stand here beside me baby in the crumbling walls
Oh I’m going to buy this place and start a fire
Stand here until I fill all your heart’s desires
Because I’m going to buy this place and see it burn
Do back the things it did to you in return

Ah, ah, ah
He said Oh I’m going to buy a gun and start a war
If you can tell me something worth fighting for
Oh and I’m going to buy this place, that’s what I said
Blame it upon a rush of blood to the head to the head

(And) honey
All the movements you’re starting to make
See me crumble and fall on my face
And I know the mistakes that I made
See it all disappear without a trace
And they call as they beckon you on
They said start as you mean to go on
Start as you mean to go on." – COLDPLAY, A RUSH OF BLOOD TO THE HEAD.

I feel it burning, I feel it yearning, I feel the heat of the hearth,
I feel it sear, I feel it near, the agony makes me want to laugh.
I admire the fire, my own desire, to watch it burn and rage,
My love I hold, my words so bold, trapped there within a cage.

How could I have been, could not have seen, that this could not be,
I feel like a fool, used like a tool, because I could not see.
The truth it was there, too hard to bear, just in a different light,
Now that I know, I will not show, how much these feelings bite.

Now it is clear, what I held dear, no longer has any meaning,
I can get by, no longer do I cry, over what it is I’m feeling.
This is the end, feelings suspend, I walk away from it all,
Goodbye to you, the end feels true, no further will I fall.</center>

I’ll see if I can write some more new stuffs to add as well.

And you say -I- make you look like a dunce? That old poem just blew my new one out the water. ha ha.

It’s so full of all this bittersweet emotion that just struck me as a reader. It’s a very powerful piece, and speaks from the depths of the heart. I love it, like I love all your stuff.

Keep it up, bro. 😀

I think I thanked you before Drea, but I’ll thank you again. Cheers for reading the poem…

Here’s something I wrote today that’s a wee bit corny, and probably not that good, but it needs somewhere to live…

A Poem for Valentine’s Day.

Happiness is fleeting, here one moment, gone the next,
Emotions, they rise, and they fall, a constant rollercoaster,
Dark times, dark days, they can take us, they can ruin us,
Yet hope exists, love exists, always � forever.

Do not fear the emotions you feel,
Do not enclose them within steel,
Though they cause hurt, that hurt will heal,
Good will win in the end.

Valentine�s day: The day for love,
A day of anxiety, a day of heartache,
For those who share life with someone special: Honour them, treasure them.
For those who are single, do not fret: Time is on your side.

If you cherish someone, if you care,
Tell them about it, let them share,
Let them experience those feelings, tender and fair,
Good will win in the end.

Emotions, feelings, they are hard to understand,
Unreciprocated, the pressure can get out of hand,
Let them flow clean, let the other hear,
The relief in them knowing will make you cheer.

Valentine�s day: It will come, it will go,
What happens each year: No one can know,
But one thing can be said: One thing should show,
Good will win in the end.</center>

I must confess that I am crying a little bit now, because I just read a bunch of your poems in succession, and they were all beautifully written, but I guess some of them hit a little close to home. The last poem was sweet, though.

My biggest complaint with a lot of poetry – and the reason that I don’t like most rhyming poetry- is that is doesn’t flow enough for me. To me, poetry should not be words in still motion but a dance, and everything you write flows everywhere across my screen. Have you thought about entering poetry contests? I did that a bit in High School, and even though publishers don’t pay you for your poems, it’s a good way to get yourself out there and recognized- it’s easier to get published or to get an agent if you have some "experience". And I still won’t be satisfied till I get to buy one of your books from my local bookstore, so…so, yeah.