Marceline
03-04-2003, 08:53 AM
As some of you know, I've had a horrible case of writer's block as of late, but tonight, I managed to spurn out something that wasn't completely appalling. However, I am now stuck, so I am posting my first paragraph to you, and hoping for some ideas for what direction I should take this is.

"Please�" he said, with a sort of quiet desperation. And so she relented, parted her lips, and allowed him to kiss her while she stood there passionless and cold. He never should have fallen in love with her, that was his first mistake. She was terrified and so alone, and that was all she understood about herself. Grasping something as complex as a human relationship was the furthest thing from her reach. And still, she let him kiss her, partly because she was terrified, but mostly because she was alone.

Bahamut ZERO
03-04-2003, 01:35 PM
What you have wrote so far has got me intrigued Mandi... I want to know more about what these two characters. I understand that you are having trouble finding a direction to point them, so I'll offer a couple of suggestions for you.

1.) Maybe do a bit of a back story as to how these two people got together, how they met, how the relationship grew... Maybe writing diary entries for each of the characters detailing how they feel at certain times about each other?

2.) Where the characters are going? Can they learn to love each other? Will the relationship fall apart? Is there a dark past involved for one of them that can come back to haunt them or even strengthen the relationship?

That's the best ideas I can come up with at the moment... I hope this is what you are looking for.

Autumn
03-05-2003, 04:52 AM
Chii, what you have written is good so far but I think it should be the ending of the story rather than the beginning. It just needs more detail, interesting vocab and some background on the characters.