CE
01-01-2003, 09:33 PM
I wrote this for my father this morning. Its kind of my life and his life together. The first bits more in the present. ^_^ Enjoy, and don't kill yourself at the end plz!




I Miss You

I�m broken
I�ve been spoken
Of to much behind my back
I�m so tired
And so wired
About everything around me
I�m scared
I�ve been dared
To pretend to be someone else and
I�m crying
And trying
To understand this world around me
I turn around and fine that you�re not there.

I remember
In December
We would walk for hours
Together
Forever
You promised me you�d never leave
Used to smile
All the while
She needed the help we could not give
You knew
I refused
To believe that she was afraid too.

I love you
I miss you
I think about you all the time
It was lightning
So frightening
Everything happened all to fast
It struck
And stuck
In my mind for years after
There was red
You were dead
I miss you

FD Return
01-02-2003, 01:40 AM
That's a very powerful poem CE. The structure of the poem is wonderful to read, and the content is very emotional. An excellent poem.

hellboy
01-04-2003, 07:48 PM
Oh for crying out loud, love, write something cheerful.

It's beautiful, but why don't you post that lovely one you wrote yesterday?

April
01-05-2003, 12:41 AM
groan ... we'd never groan CE you write beautiful poems ... ^^

this one is very emotional and, as FD return said, well structured ...

Deja
01-06-2003, 04:37 AM
that was beautiful :) it ran so smoothly reading through it which is good to have, and even though it was on a sad subject it is still a very good poem ^-^

Amarant-X
01-06-2003, 07:17 AM
sometimes trying to be poetic in short words is much more diffucult than doing so in long poems, or at least for me. But CE this is really a great poem.

Autumn
01-06-2003, 10:54 AM
No, CE it's a prettiful poem and I like the way it's short and simple as it's easier on the eyes and has more dramatic impact to it. The emotion you used was good and your rhyming was excellent. Keep it up hun~ ^_^

Kenji
01-09-2003, 06:58 PM
Excellent poem Morgan.

Such a sad one but your writing comes from the heart and that's good thing. I liked the set up of it and the ryhming.

Keep up the good work CE!