Locke255
11-26-2002, 07:44 PM
This thread is for anyone is is an amature when it comes to poetry So this my chance to wing it, ahem

A name forevr encoded
somthing I shall keep up inside
no one can ever decode it
for my wisdom is greater than my pride

a feared shadow lurks
yet still I stand firm
as courage shall work
the pian makes lesson learned

a meaning yet untold
a whisper kept in hidding
Something shivered yet it's not cold
I sit back and wait as NOTHING unfolds

a quiver of fear
like an arrow in my spine
I hold that I hate so near
An throught all that I fell just fine

That is my poem I never thought somone like me would get into poetry.

anyone feel free to try poetry here-

Autumn
11-26-2002, 07:54 PM
That's a pretty good poem but the ending isn't the best. But you know how to play around with words well and the rhyming is very good. Your poem is very good at creating some sort of picture in the reader's head and the use of emotion is good.

So all you need to do is fix up the ending and it will make your poem better. Anywayz, great job! *Claps* ^_^

April
11-26-2002, 11:06 PM
It's really good Locke ... I wouldn't regard it as amateur poetry ... poetry, especially written from the heart is as good as it gets however complex your use of language. I think it needs some punctuation to help the reader understand the flow of the words and the spelling needs a little work, but it's really good, quite intense and it scans well.