Rabid Monkey
09-23-2002, 08:21 PM
Ok, I know no one really enjoys reading what I write, cause well, I don't really get a while bunch of replies, but I'm kind of looking for some input on two pieces I recently did... So anyway, here they are...
The Untouched and Unknown
I slowly ebb away
Falling from forgotten days
Seeing a life no longer mine
Pass before my eyes
Wondering always
Where lost time has gone
Pondering over what went wrong
Shrinking back to nothingness
For I am trapped
Held hostage by my soul
Needing what is only unknown
Gripping my freedom tight
It is all I have left
For darkness has taken hold
Cased in shadows only I know
The pain is numb
It touches my being
Like drops on the mirror or water
Rippling and flowing, but never knowing
What lies in the center
For a moment
The drops splash
And are taken within the heart
But soon they whisk away
Carried by waves
Aroused the sea of my mind
And again be removed
From what lies within
So let these
Drops of tears and water
Leave from this place
And forever be forgotten
And be as me
Untouched and unknown
Left Behind
I stand alone
Left to be here in the great unknown
Life is gone
And nowhere is left that can be call home
So I press on
Looking for that light that shined so bright
Its been so long
Since I knew the difference of right and wrong
If I move forward
Will what I�ve done be forgotten again?
And if I fall
Will I be right back where I began?
Well I don�t want to think about
What I�ve left behind
And I don�t want to know about
What I�ve been denied
All I want to see
Is where I�m going to be
And all I want to know
Is that I have somewhere to go
When I feel left behind
So here I am
Feeling less a boy but not a man
And there I look
Counting out my days in the sand
I feel the weight
Of a world that doesn�t even know
Who I am
Or what it is I have to show
But it�s ok
Because one day we will all know
Why it is
That everything is needed was never shown
So on we move
In a world that spins too fast
And we try
To hold onto dreams that never seem to last
But I don�t want to think about
What I�ve left behind
And I don�t want to know about
What I�ve been denied
All I want to see
Is where I�m going to be
And all I want to know
Is that I have somewhere to go
When I feel left behind
Ok, I'm not going to go into detail, just really need people's opinions on these two, like what parts you like and what ones you think don't work well, and which one you think is better...
The Untouched and Unknown
I slowly ebb away
Falling from forgotten days
Seeing a life no longer mine
Pass before my eyes
Wondering always
Where lost time has gone
Pondering over what went wrong
Shrinking back to nothingness
For I am trapped
Held hostage by my soul
Needing what is only unknown
Gripping my freedom tight
It is all I have left
For darkness has taken hold
Cased in shadows only I know
The pain is numb
It touches my being
Like drops on the mirror or water
Rippling and flowing, but never knowing
What lies in the center
For a moment
The drops splash
And are taken within the heart
But soon they whisk away
Carried by waves
Aroused the sea of my mind
And again be removed
From what lies within
So let these
Drops of tears and water
Leave from this place
And forever be forgotten
And be as me
Untouched and unknown
Left Behind
I stand alone
Left to be here in the great unknown
Life is gone
And nowhere is left that can be call home
So I press on
Looking for that light that shined so bright
Its been so long
Since I knew the difference of right and wrong
If I move forward
Will what I�ve done be forgotten again?
And if I fall
Will I be right back where I began?
Well I don�t want to think about
What I�ve left behind
And I don�t want to know about
What I�ve been denied
All I want to see
Is where I�m going to be
And all I want to know
Is that I have somewhere to go
When I feel left behind
So here I am
Feeling less a boy but not a man
And there I look
Counting out my days in the sand
I feel the weight
Of a world that doesn�t even know
Who I am
Or what it is I have to show
But it�s ok
Because one day we will all know
Why it is
That everything is needed was never shown
So on we move
In a world that spins too fast
And we try
To hold onto dreams that never seem to last
But I don�t want to think about
What I�ve left behind
And I don�t want to know about
What I�ve been denied
All I want to see
Is where I�m going to be
And all I want to know
Is that I have somewhere to go
When I feel left behind
Ok, I'm not going to go into detail, just really need people's opinions on these two, like what parts you like and what ones you think don't work well, and which one you think is better...