Seru_Kai
12-25-2009, 01:31 AM
We all know that VII has it's share of translation problems. But, what about the strategy guide for it? I'm sitting here working a 12 hour shift (and another one tomorrow, and I work in a hotel so it's pretty dead right now. I brought some guides to flip through just to keep my attention while I get paid for doing nothing (it's awesome).

I'm currently staring right at VII's guide, when you're getting ready for the mandatory chocobo race. It's points out the Ramuh Summon Materia just fine, but in the side of the page where it lists 'Items Found' for the area, it says...

'Ranch' Materia.

I hadn't noticed that before! I honestly sat there for about 10 seconds staring at the word Ranch and going "what the hell..."

Neg
12-25-2009, 01:35 AM
Salad dressing of the gods.

Red Arremer
12-25-2009, 02:39 AM
Haha, Ranch materia.

Darth Revan
12-25-2009, 03:13 AM
Ranch Materia... the essence of all Male Summon monsters...

Red Arremer
12-25-2009, 03:16 AM
I more thought it was the essence of all feral summons, someone has to feed them after all. :D

Darth Revan
12-25-2009, 03:21 AM
Well, where do baby summon monsters come from? The RANCH MATERIA!! The female summon monsters go googly eyed when they see their partner's essence ready to go.

Red Arremer
12-25-2009, 03:23 AM
I just imagined Summon Breeding becoming a feature for Final Fantasy and immediately drew the line to Pokemon, hahaha. Gotta breed' em all.

Oh God... Materia Eggs.
I'm going to die with my imagination.

Darth Revan
12-25-2009, 03:26 AM
Hell yeah, the next big thing.

Square-Enix is pleased to present:

SUMMON MONSTER RANCHER!!

Capture and breed your own Summon Monsters!! Use the special 'RANCH MATERIA' to get the BEST offspring from your monsters!

Seru_Kai
12-25-2009, 03:29 AM
You guys drop acid before you post on here? ;)

Darth Revan
12-25-2009, 03:29 AM
No, just naturally gifted.

Red Arremer
12-25-2009, 03:32 AM
Hell yeah, the next big thing.

SUMMON MONSTER RANCHER!!

xD

I just wonder how you'd breed Knights of the Round. Each and every knight for themselves? Or do they just drop all out of one mother?


No, just naturally gifted.

And this.

Seru_Kai
12-25-2009, 03:32 AM
It's good to know with your natural talent the first thing you go to when you see 'Ranch Materia' is the offspring of various materias around the globe. ;)

Darth Revan
12-25-2009, 03:40 AM
xD

I just wonder how you'd breed Knights of the Round. Each and every knight for themselves? Or do they just drop all out of one mother?

The last Knight (rumored to be King Arthur, though I'm unsure on that) squirts a new Knight out after every 100th calling. That, or one of the others has been 'getting it on' with his wife.


It's good to know with your natural talent the first thing you go to when you see 'Ranch Materia' is the offspring of various materias around the globe. ;)

Ranch Materia is supposedly a white materia... I'm not completely sure about that, but that would explain Heidigger and Hojo...

Red Arremer
12-25-2009, 03:41 AM
I'm sure the Last Knight is the mailman's kid. :>

Darth Revan
12-25-2009, 03:42 AM
I thought it was the Cable Guy, not the Mailman.

CC
12-25-2009, 08:00 AM
Sounds like something that'd be useful for harvest season!

Argus Zephyrus
12-25-2009, 10:56 AM
Ranch materia - enables you to herd monsters in battle for group Morphs as well as summoning disgusting salad dressing

Enkidoh
12-25-2009, 12:13 PM
*checks FFVII strategy guide*

Well, what do you know? He's right!

Stupid Brady Games. Goddess their guide books suck. :p

At least Piggyback's strategy guides don't have typos or are incomplete (even though they're far dearer than the Brady ones).

LordBlackudder
12-25-2009, 03:40 PM
monster breeding has been done. its a fun element.

supdup
12-28-2009, 12:13 PM
People where is the female RANCH materia? Right now the ranch materia has only one thing to do and that is, as kevin bloody wilson said in the last verse of the yogi bear song, "what you do when your all alone"