Neo Xzhan
07-23-2002, 06:15 PM
My tears are lost in the rain
My true colors are shaded in darkness

My feelings are locked away

I cannot drown my sorrow
I cannot kill my emotions

I am trapped in a maze

A maze which no one can enter
A maze which no one can leave

Setsuna Yuna
08-05-2002, 07:58 AM
I think your poem is very moving...it creates a feeling of sadness and of no escape. I've felt this way sometimes. It's a bit short though. I think you could have given the reader a better sense of what you (or whoever you writing about) feels by adding a few more stanzas about how trapped you feel or something like that. Of course, that's just my opinion. :rolleyes:

A good job, overall. :D