So I decided I'd post this since I wrote it out of sheer boredom. Did it one night a while ago and finished it this night. It's not long. It's just STUFF. Whether you enjoy or not, let me know. I'm not an aspiring writer or anything, but do leave me some feedback. Since this part of the forum isn't as popular as the others I won't expect much.


UNTITLED END~



The vibrant glow of the morning and the salty breeze from the ocean woke me up to a day I would never forget. My life as of now has been uninspiring and well just bland. Everything changed on that day. Everything.

-05.05.20XX-

Mother: So are you gonna wake up or are you just gonna sleep all day?

Me: Ugh...do i really have to get up this early?

Now granted I knew that this day was the ever so drunken Mexican holiday Cinco de Mayo...but my mother has no idea i drink and well I had to act as if this was just another lazy day. She also has no idea of the visions I've been having. The visions of an old man at the end of a tunnel waving his hands to me as if to say "Follow me." I would follow the old man who apparently never heard of haircuts or shavers. His eyebrows dangled from his forehead and his beard dragged on the floor. I must say that it wasn't a very clean beard either. He wore a military uniform...all worn and torn. He reeked of alcohol and his eyes were bloodshot. I must admit that under normal circumstances I would have bever followed such a man...but me being in a tunnel suddenly didn't seem normal to me at all.


Anyway, I would ask this old man his name but he would just stare at me and then talk some gibberish. Old man talk I suppose. I decided I'd just call him Harry since he is hairy or something. Yea, I know. I'm very creative. At this point he would be leading me over a bridge. This wasn't any old bridge though. It was made of pure gold. "Where the hell am I?" I would think.
"Is this the promised land all the Europeans were looking for back in the days when no one was sure if the world was round or flat?". As soon as I thought that Harry would laugh for some reason. Then suddenly the bridge would shake and the old man would jump on his own beard and then kind of hinted with his hands for me to jump on it too. I thought about it long and hard. Haha Innuendo! Anyway I decided to jump on it and let him take me wherever it was he was taking me. He took me on a highway that took us up into the sky. “Amazing.” I whispered to myself. That’s when a saw a flash of light. A flash of light so bright that it made everything go pitch black.

“Harry! Harry!” someone yelled.

I opened my eyes. I saw a conveyer belt of glowing lights. One after the other. To my side was a woman with a white uniform I’ve never met before in my life. To my other side was the person yelling my name. It was my mom. I recognized her instantly and just decided I didn’t want ot deal with whatever she was yelling at me for. I must have done something bad. “Mom, I’m tired. I’m going to sleep.” As I closed my eyes I saw her tearing up. Waterfalls from her blue eyes. Such a moving sight. Something I would never forget and never see again. …

The End.

I woke up the next day. My mother was not there. I was in a coffin. WTF!

Yea that was a possible ending. Lol.

So 'Harry' is Death?

Now granted I knew that this day was the ever so drunken Mexican holiday Cinco de Mayo...but my mother has no idea i drink
I stopped reading right there because I could tell the story was going to decline into an incest story.

In a way. Yes. The old man in the "dream" was actually a deathly drunk dream version of Harry in the "real world".

Seems Harry got so wasted that while he "blacked out" his sober mindset was in a "dream world". While his physical being was doing stupid stuff which he would not normally do. That part is fully open for interpretation for the most part. Whatever he did while he was drunk off his mind caused him to land in the hospital and eventually die.

But honestly the whole "highway" thing was meant for it to be interpreted as him being in a car while drunk. The riding on the beard thing was meant to be a car he is getting in to. The bridge made of gold = Golden State Bridge. Yea.


And what? Chewey...this isn't some southern tale.

I stopped reading right there because I could tell the story was going to decline into an incest story.

Chewey don't feel bad I just read the thread title and that is ALL.

SO MY CRITIQUE OF THIS WORK WOULD BE RATHER...

TAKE IT AWAY CHEWEY!