Agent0042
12-02-2006, 08:02 PM
Following on the heels of the success of the film Advent Children and the spin-off game Dirge of Cerberus, Square-Enix today announced plans for an on-stage musical version of its epic masterpiece --- Final Fantasy VII. The project, tentatively titled Final Fantasy VII's First Big Musical, is stated as still being in the early planning stages. Proposed musical numbers include "You Make My HP Bar Go 'Thumpa-Thumpa'" (a duet performed by the characters Aeris/th Gainsborough and Cloud Strife) and "(I'll Find You In) The Promised Land," a solo by Cloud. "I've Finally Reached My Limit Break," a show-stopper for all of the major "hero" characters will also be featured.

The project's major staff stated that the Aeris/th death-scene presented an unusual challenge, given the violent nature of the scene. They insisted, however, that there is no truth to the "persistent" rumors" that they are considering scrapping the entire sequence and replacing it with a scene in which Sephiroth, Aeris/th, Cloud and Jenova join hands and sing "Kumbaya." They did confirm, however, that the characters Yuffie Kisaragi and Vincent Valentine, optional in the original game, will be appearing in this musical. Yuffie performs a number titled "Materia," a sultry riff on "Macavity" from the record-breaking Broadway musical Cats. Vincent, meanwhile, croons "I May Not Have Much of a Plot, But I Sure Look Hot in This Cape."

Whether the plot of the musical would include elements from any of the Final Fantasy VII spin-off projects could not be confirmed at this time. Officials at Square-Enix were unavailable for further comment. The announcement, however, delighted some FFVII fans, but was largely greeted with skepticism from the Final Fantasy community as a whole. One ardent fan stated "Yeah! A musical?! I am so there --- front row seats! Where do I get tickets?" Agent0042, a moderator for the popular Final Fantasy Shrine community stated, "I wouldn't get your hopes up. This isn't an actual project, merely an elaborate joke written by myself and inflicted on a forum badly in need of some amusing humor."

Sephiroth Incarnate
12-02-2006, 10:33 PM
Yo, this shit was not cool.....I was all like "HELL YEAH".....you little prick!

Top Cat
12-02-2006, 11:20 PM
hahaha, fantastic

Sarah
12-03-2006, 12:38 AM
I should make you a news writer and come up with this stuff all the time <3

Van Finel
12-03-2006, 02:04 AM
Don't go giving Enix any ideas now=)

Agent0042
12-03-2006, 02:12 AM
Heh. Well, let's just keep it quiet, eh Van? You don't think they have spies here watching maybe? :)

Van Finel
12-03-2006, 02:22 AM
*pumps shotgun* I don't know, but I'm not taking any chances.

Sarah
12-03-2006, 02:31 AM
square-enix browses our site occasionally ~

Agent0042
12-03-2006, 02:33 AM
Whoo boy --- sound the alarms then --- put this thread on auto-hide to non-members / subscribers. :D

Lek
12-10-2006, 12:48 AM
"They insisted, however, that there is no truth to the "persistent" rumors" that they are considering scrapping the entire sequence and replacing it with a scene in which Sephiroth, Aeris/th, Cloud and Jenova join hands and sing "Kumbaya."''
If this was true, i mean the play and all, and this happened, it would most likely ensure that this play would get a bad rating. It would also be hard, considering that Jenova has no hands, she's either a severed head, or a body with no head or legs...

Mailbox
12-10-2006, 12:53 AM
LOL, Lek, you're dense.

and Agent &hearts; you're gr9

Agent0042
12-10-2006, 12:58 AM
Heh. :) Thanks, Twilight. You're wonderful too.

Gentleman Ghost
12-10-2006, 01:05 AM
Make him a news writer! Make him a news writer!

Van Finel
12-10-2006, 05:25 AM
"They insisted, however, that there is no truth to the "persistent" rumors" that they are considering scrapping the entire sequence and replacing it with a scene in which Sephiroth, Aeris/th, Cloud and Jenova join hands and sing "Kumbaya."''
If this was true, i mean the play and all, and this happened, it would most likely ensure that this play would get a bad rating. It would also be hard, considering that Jenova has no hands, she's either a severed head, or a body with no head or legs...

idiot

Lek
12-10-2006, 05:29 AM
...Okay...maybe that was a bit stupid...it still would be hard to join hands with Jenova though...

Agent0042
12-10-2006, 05:44 AM
Does somebody else want to tell this jamook, or shall I, maybe?

Mailbox
12-10-2006, 05:45 AM
He's all yours.

Lek
12-10-2006, 06:02 AM
How 'bout I just shut up and leave quietly...

Agent0042
12-10-2006, 06:36 AM
I think that would be best.

Van Finel
12-10-2006, 07:25 AM
this whole thing amuses me

Gentleman Ghost
12-10-2006, 10:20 AM
Damn, Van beat me to it.

Agent0042
12-28-2006, 05:13 AM
Good news --- we now have a release date for Final Fantasy VII's First Big Musical. Square-Enix is planning to release this on December 26, 2007. New confirmed song numbers include Game (I'm Gonna Live Forever [Thanks to Phoenix Downs]) and One Winged Angel (Pop Version).