Shadowblade
09-07-2006, 11:25 PM
I actually dreamed this scene, then came up wit a storyline regarding it. Critique or shut up! ...Please.
Chapter One
When the boy’s eyes opened, revealing a tint of unnaturally lucid gray, he knew nothing and nothing knew him. For a moment, he simply laid there, staring up at the bleak and violent winter sky, ignoring the smell of smoke and charred flesh as hulks of twisted metal burned around him.
Finally, he blinked, brushing flecks of frost from his face, and stood to his feet. Oblivious to the snow and wind that swirled around him in a chaotic cyclone, the boy looked around for something to cover himself with. Not necessarily for warmth, although the added protection would be appreciated. He just felt an underlying knowledge that walking around naked wasn’t something that everyone did. He soon spotted a brown, tattered cloth that he immediately took and wrapped around his body. With that taken care of, the boy was finally able to take in surroundings.
Any other person might have been awed by the beauty of the crystalline landscape before them, watching with wonder as snowflakes fell incessantly from the heavens like thousands of soft, white feathers. Instead, the boy only stared out impassively at his environs, no more impressed then the rocks and trees that lived there. When seeing nothing but snow and the gray, dead trees that seemed to be trying to claw their way out of it, the boy decided to move. Knowing nothing of his surroundings, he simply began to walk forward.
For a while, he hiked through the snow, the only sounds in the winter air the crush of his bare feet as they sunk repeatedly into the freezing slush and his own breathing, steady and rhythmic. The wind had died down. His breaths seemed to leave behind a trail of clouds as thick as the ones above as the air grew more frigid with each passing minute. Once, he stopped and looked back, the only sign of his trek a fading trail of footprints, filled almost as quickly as his next was created.
After a few hours had passed and it became harder to slog through the thick frost, he stopped. Once again, the wind was raging, cold and furious as it howled. His eyes were beginning to feel heavy and his pace had slowed to a sluggish trudge.
back
The boy blinked, and looked all around him. Had he heard something, through all this snow and wind? For a few minutes, he stood still, the icy wind blowing harshly through his dark hair, and he listened.
back...come back...
The voice was low, overpowered by the piercing howl of the wind. It sounded faintly female, thought he hadn't the experience to judge properly. He'd only heard a couple of females talk, and it was a long time ago, in long-buried memories.
please....back...
He couldn't discern where the voice was coming from, no matter how much he tried. One minute, it would sound like it was behind him, the next, to his side. He hadn't moved an inch since hearing the voice, focusing all his attention on it as the world began to fade to gray. He didn't know what was happening, only that his eyelids wouldn't stay open, and he felt himself sinking down. Then the world went black, but he could still hear the voice, despite the darkness. Even in that darkness, he couldn't find it's source as he descended deeper and deeper into the oblivion. Yet the voice prevailed.
come back
Chapter One
When the boy’s eyes opened, revealing a tint of unnaturally lucid gray, he knew nothing and nothing knew him. For a moment, he simply laid there, staring up at the bleak and violent winter sky, ignoring the smell of smoke and charred flesh as hulks of twisted metal burned around him.
Finally, he blinked, brushing flecks of frost from his face, and stood to his feet. Oblivious to the snow and wind that swirled around him in a chaotic cyclone, the boy looked around for something to cover himself with. Not necessarily for warmth, although the added protection would be appreciated. He just felt an underlying knowledge that walking around naked wasn’t something that everyone did. He soon spotted a brown, tattered cloth that he immediately took and wrapped around his body. With that taken care of, the boy was finally able to take in surroundings.
Any other person might have been awed by the beauty of the crystalline landscape before them, watching with wonder as snowflakes fell incessantly from the heavens like thousands of soft, white feathers. Instead, the boy only stared out impassively at his environs, no more impressed then the rocks and trees that lived there. When seeing nothing but snow and the gray, dead trees that seemed to be trying to claw their way out of it, the boy decided to move. Knowing nothing of his surroundings, he simply began to walk forward.
For a while, he hiked through the snow, the only sounds in the winter air the crush of his bare feet as they sunk repeatedly into the freezing slush and his own breathing, steady and rhythmic. The wind had died down. His breaths seemed to leave behind a trail of clouds as thick as the ones above as the air grew more frigid with each passing minute. Once, he stopped and looked back, the only sign of his trek a fading trail of footprints, filled almost as quickly as his next was created.
After a few hours had passed and it became harder to slog through the thick frost, he stopped. Once again, the wind was raging, cold and furious as it howled. His eyes were beginning to feel heavy and his pace had slowed to a sluggish trudge.
back
The boy blinked, and looked all around him. Had he heard something, through all this snow and wind? For a few minutes, he stood still, the icy wind blowing harshly through his dark hair, and he listened.
back...come back...
The voice was low, overpowered by the piercing howl of the wind. It sounded faintly female, thought he hadn't the experience to judge properly. He'd only heard a couple of females talk, and it was a long time ago, in long-buried memories.
please....back...
He couldn't discern where the voice was coming from, no matter how much he tried. One minute, it would sound like it was behind him, the next, to his side. He hadn't moved an inch since hearing the voice, focusing all his attention on it as the world began to fade to gray. He didn't know what was happening, only that his eyelids wouldn't stay open, and he felt himself sinking down. Then the world went black, but he could still hear the voice, despite the darkness. Even in that darkness, he couldn't find it's source as he descended deeper and deeper into the oblivion. Yet the voice prevailed.
come back