Yes I am posting another poem, not giving a fuck about what you all said on my last poem, but.........

CONSTRUCTIVE-FUCKIN-CRITICISM PLEASE!

If it sucks don't give a huge shitting speech on it.


Vincent:

Slipping so far from life
Drifting through an endless
Sky of black and evil thoughts
Surrounding my lonely body
Of shame and death

Time is losing its meaning to me
All i wish to do is find
The love of my life
Lucrecia
And put an end to my torment

I crawl into my coffin
Alone, dark in despair
Trying to get a hold of myself
Is harder than i expected

I transform into the unknown
And cause death, destruction
But only to find you
Lucrecia

I wish for you
But I cannot find
A light in my dead soul
Full of deep darkness
And dying feelings
Of love that are slowly
Tearing me apart

My cape flutters in the wind
As i wait in the darkness and rain and lightining
Thunder cracks, but i dont care
I will wait for you
Lucrecia

And if you don't show up soon
I will look for you
For what is my purpose in life
Without you by my side

I'm stuck for words. Exactly what were you attempting, free verse

I'm stuck for words. Exactly what were you attempting, free verse

Yes. Yes it was. Thank you for heeding my "rules"

I'll forgive your rudeness. I was only inquiring what sort of form you were following as TBH it was difficult to discern.

rofl

Finish elementary school before writing anymore "poetry"

Thats about as constructive as it gets.

*Light-Bulb!*

Prak why dont you post some of your poetry and show us how its done!

rofl


Finish elementary school before writing anymore "poetry"

Thats about as constructive as it gets.

sums it up I'm afraid

Finish elementary school before writing anymore "poetry"

Thats about as constructive as it gets.

Elementary school is over dumbass.

Then back you go!

Biz d00d, u shud rite a buk, serius

OMGLOLZ 2Tru U is 2 Gud fr School Denny

*Light-Bulb!*

Prak why dont you post some of your poetry and show us how its done!

No fucking way. I have not written poetry since I was in elementary school and it was required for a class assignment. While I have no doubt that I could do a decent enough job of it, the mere thought of devoting time and effort to it is abhorrent.

where did all the fun poem go? :-(

Praks poems woul be cool he would show his superior intellect by bombarding us with facts and destroy new-comers with a barrage of insults causing many emo deaths. And to BS what the hell are you talking about that was incredibly densed my brain and forehead hurt.

The poetry forum hasn't been the same without MMM's constructive criticism.

I read one verse then stopped.

I wouldn't post too muchany poetry on here if I were you.

What exactly is this you were making, anyway? I stopped right after the first verse. I hate Goth poetry so much. Sky is black...lol...

What exactly is this you were making, anyway? I stopped right after the first verse. I hate Goth poetry so much. Sky is black...lol...

i don't dislike the 'darker' kind of poetry (i write a great deal of poetic gothic stories myself) but this one isn't very good :p

Yes I am posting another poem, not giving a fuck about what you all said on my last poem, but.........

CONSTRUCTIVE-FUCKIN-CRITICISM PLEASE!

If it sucks don't give a huge shitting speech on it.

As I have posted several poems here, I'll honestly say you're in the wrong place if you don't want harsh critcism. Not wanting that is like wanting a grilled cheese without the cheese...just ain't gonna happen.

As far as my opinion...

I believe the poem does okay on expressing Vincent, although I am not too fond these days of poems such as these. The poem follows one direction, but would work much better if you desribed other feelings or emotions and take it a step further.

Very sweet and emotional. I really loved it. Please keep writing ^^