Yes I wrote something new. ....And yes, it's first person. ......sorry. Hey, at least it's original! Read and critique!

Prologue


“General Andrew White, ex-Eutopa high ranking officer turned Legalia spy and scum! You are charged with multiple accounts of first degree murder, treason against Eutopa with intent of mutiny, extortion…”

I had to quietly chuckle at the rather large woman who was reading my offenses as if they were names on a roster. She just seemed to get angrier and angrier with each one. Just my luck that I had to get a patriot for a judge.

“How do you plead?!”

“Huh?” I replied.

“I said ‘how do you plead?!’” the judge fumed, glaring at me.

I smiled, thinking about the delicous plans in store, but I decided to answer with a question of my own. “Does it really matter?”

"Yes it does White," the judge growled through gritted teeth. "Now, how do you plead?"

"I don't know, on all fours?" I suggested with a shrug.

“HOW DO YOU PLEAD!” she screamed, livid. Everyone in the jury was standing, yelling angrily at me. Some of the people behind me too. Yelling something about honor and respect, or some bullshit like that. I gave them a little wave before turning back to the judge.

“I'm sorry, what'd you say?” I asked, barely keeping my smile in check. "Something about beads?"

The judge's eyes nearly popped out of her head, and her face was all read and puffy. She looked like she was ready to blow a fuse. This time, I couldn't help it. I laughed.

Fucking with people like this was so fun to me sometimes.

“GUARDS, ARREST HIM!!” the judge shrieked, pointing at me. And of course the guards came running, nightsticks in hand. Even as they proceeded to beat the hell out of me, I still laughed. Because the judge had looked like the queen from that one cartoon movie. The one with the cards that were soldiers.

That's a good start, you seem to get the main character across very well. Sure its first person like all the rest of your stuff, but most people I've seen on here write in third person, and its nice to see someone with a diffrent style ^_^ now that the back drop is your own idea, it interrests me more, probably because I don't know much about it. It sounds like a great story too.

Interesting start. We don't know much about the plot or the background story, though, but I believe that might come later?
What was your inspiration for this story?

Interesting enough that I would like to read more.

Before putting your fingers to the keys, you should have at least had a tenuous understanding of court proceedings. Other than the fact that you seem to know nothing about the subject matter, I have no significant complaints.

Not too bad, certainly better than what others have posted.