destiny_dragon
10-08-2005, 09:30 AM
hey! heres another one of m masterpiece its a bit err...oblique but here:

Warm Welcome
i've gone away for so long
i wish to see you again
the trees that were once there
to greet me goodbye
and the dancing grass
that waves whenever i walk past them
i have worked hard and honest
just to make myself better
when i see you again on the same tree trunk
where you sit there patiently for me
the water in the pond glimmers
as we looked there
i miss the old days
the days when we were together

my life has changed a lot when i left
i see myself in a new world
a world of nothingness without you
the beautiful nature is nothing for me
when i can't see someone that makes me happy
but dont worry......

coz i'll be coming home soon
i shall see you again soon
the sunshine will greet me a warm welcome
when we are together
again.......

poem dedicated to the moms and dads abroad who misses their children.
and to those who have girlfriends or boyfriends far away from them.
may god give you hope to never give up your dreams!
Gaffelmannen
10-08-2005, 11:06 AM
Ah fuck it it's twelve in the morning, I'm not gonna read that until my eyes clear up.
Prak
10-08-2005, 01:58 PM
If that's your idea of a masterpiece, you have low standards. Your grammar is questionable at best, it flows like frozen molasses, and the subject matter is totally unsuited to poetry, although I'd be hesitant to acknowledge this as any sort of poem.

Leave poetry to people with a flair for describing the world around them in interesting ways. I'm sure you have your own talents, but that isn't one of them.
Maria
10-08-2005, 04:32 PM
Lol.

Your like the Simon Cowell of FFShrine Prak.
destiny_dragon
10-09-2005, 05:18 AM
damn! fine!
IceAngel100
10-25-2005, 01:41 PM
Why do you say 'it flows like frozen molasses' so much Prak?
MossY
10-25-2005, 05:09 PM
Why do you say 'it flows like frozen molasses' so much Prak?
That's an extremely good way of describing the lack of momentum in poems.
Prak
10-26-2005, 01:51 AM
This is the only thread I've ever said it in, although other people have quoted it a couple of times in different threads. It was just an analogy I made up on the spur of the moment.
Dragoncurry
10-26-2005, 01:53 AM
You do know if you wanna use the dots, you only use three of them.

...

NOT

...............