Tragedy in the colour red... your in awe:
A field of red, it�s always been your favorite. Eyes stapled shut and lips sewed back, showing your rotting grin. Your look is nauseating. The only time you don�t smile is when I force you underwater. But you�ve always looked so good. Obsessed with fire, it�s the only way to douse your disgust. I hide you where there is no oxygen. Your look is nauseating. A field of red, it�s always been your favorite. Locked and loaded. Don�t pretend you don�t know. You�re drowning by my hand. I love the way you struggle, just like your field of red. Is this your favorite? Try and breathe.

Opposites of attraction and non-exsistant lovers:
I eat sleep and breathe the things you do. But this silence is making my scars scream. My eyes bloodshot and red scan the room for a comfort. Only she is there, scarring her back with out a tear, and she stretches out her wings soaked with blood a gasoline. A fetish for flame she burns down the trust that keeps us together. Gun shot gun shot gun shot echoes throughout each and every one of the memories. And your screams echo even louder, even this hollow point can�t drown them out. A dyslexic needle seems your only escape. This injection is my proof of my forgiveness.


BAM! Embarassing!

Well...

Well...

Nobody posts for meee :(

weird...I like!

yay!

Good in a strange way

Bad in a real way.

Generic, senseless imagery. Blood and gasoline soaked wings? What?


A dyslexic needle seems your only escape. This injection is my proof of my forgiveness.
Do you even know what dyslexia is? Are you trying to say that the needle can't read the path properly so you end up jacking up like a moron? No, I'm really not getting this. It's like you've used random words to be edgy.

This is a new way to be bad, though, so I give you props for being special. Then again, that's what they call retards.

If that's a glimpse into your mind, you should kill yourself immediately and spare the rest of us the annoyance of sharing air with you. Even if it isn't, you should kill yourself anyway to spare us the annoyance of being exposed to your atrocious compostion skills, or lack thereof.

There's no kind of flow at all. It's like reading some angsty twerp's journal. It looks like you plucked random words from the dictionary in a vain attempt to make it look somewhat credible, but it has all the artistry of shit thrown at a wall. If it has a single redeeming quality, it is that it is only polluting cyberspace and not actually contaminating the real world in the form of words on paper, as far as I know (or care) at least.

Never write again unless it's a suicide note, and then make sure I never have to read it.

Double lol ^^ You guys are always so mean. I like it :-P .

eek! Attack of the Final Fantasy ENGLISH MAJORS! My Self-Esteem!!1 Gaaahhhhhhh....*death*

eek, attack of the self-righteous emo-poet.

They put up helpful comments though. But no comments or improvements can make a "poem" like this ... presentable.

i agree, my random imagry at an attempt to write a poem like the ones written by James Munoz is completley pathetic. I see perfect reason why they had no need for critique. I apologize for bringing this abomonation of an attempt to write like a professional onto this earth. I will go about bringing its ruination as of now.


eek, attack of the self-righteous emo-poet.
^^^ burn! :-( *cuts self*

FUCK those poems they made fuck all sense

i would kind of like them if they made sense sorry if this hurts u in any way

HO ho i concur

i agree, my random imagry at an attempt to write a poem like the ones written by James Munoz is completley pathetic. I see perfect reason why they had no need for critique. I apologize for bringing this abomonation of an attempt to write like a professional onto this earth. I will go about bringing its ruination as of now.

Instead of spending so much time bringing about its ruination, why don't you just go write a new one and preferably something amusing or something that matters to you. NOT LOVE. PLEASE. 13 year olds writing love poems gives me a mental breakdown. You do know that you can write poems about anything in your room? You should try it out, you may like it.

That lamp over there is nice
I've only used it twice
It's a pointless thing in my life
Which makes it like my wife

Wow, you were right!

hmmm....well, i'm going to post a poem i wrote here. if i should have made a seperate thread, i'm sorry. tell me what you think about it. feel free to rip it apart.

From Afar

I see you walking down the hall
And get that feeling deep inside.
Your eyes glance up to meet my own
And I know I cannot hide.

My heart stops and I can’t move
And I know it’s because of you.
My mind races and I start to think
Of all that we’ve been through.

As we stare from across the hall,
It feels like time stands still
I want to run up and hold you
But I know I never will.

I’m the one to break away
From this deep and longing gaze
And I can’t help but notice that
My mind is in a haze.

The mood is broken now
And time is back up to par.
All this happened as
I watched you from afar.

NOT LOVE. PLEASE. 13 year olds writing love poems gives me a mental breakdown.

i'm not 13

i agree, my random imagry at an attempt to write a poem like the ones written by James Munoz is completley pathetic.
As was your attempt to write like an intelligent human being.

no one is criticising my poems? wow.

i'm not 13

10 at best.

As was your attempt to write like an intelligent human being. I never attempted to write like somone i'm not... =-O

10 at best.
you guys suck. i'm 16.

eek! Attack of the Final Fantasy ENGLISH MAJORS! My Self-Esteem!!1 Gaaahhhhhhh....*death*

Ha! Majors? Hardly! I like your stuff even though it is a bit emo. I respect all styles of writing, as long as its good.

Hey Emery! you wanna battle?
I'll make fuck!n bumcheeks rattle........
!!!!! FREEEEESTYLE !!!!!!


or don't you do that kinda stuff.........

10 at best you guys suck. i'm 16.
You did ask for it

i say this has gotta be a good reason why we've all come together to talk about final fantasy and not 'let's write emo!'

Stop reviving old shit poems.

Stop reviving old shit poems.

sorry, but you're obviously doing the same