Post something that you think some of the FFVII characters are hiding.
I'll start.

-Tifa obviously worked as a hooker to help keep the bar running.
-Sephiroth only became evil when the price of hair spray went up.
-Aeris has starred in major porn videos including "orgasmateria" and "Bring me to fort Condom"
-Barret is Marleen's wife.

No he's not. Barret was actualy the secret head of the Turks division at Shinra man!
"AVALANCH" was a moch rebel group designed by Shinra to keep an eye on rebelious citizens, Barret Wallace was just a cog in the machina! how do you think he was able to get to Cloud?! ((looks around suspiciously, runs around a corner)

lol

nanaki was actually tifas momas 3rd cousins siters nephews brothers daddy. but nobody actually knows that.

Yuffie stole the materia to feed her speed(the drug) habit. Why else do you think she is so energetic?

Yuffie stole the materia to feed her speed(the drug) habit. Why else do you think she is so energetic?

the real reason behind stealing materia is to create a super drug.you see thats why when you first meet her father he is wasted(over dose) an thats why shes always energenic but now she needs more of the drug cause shes starting to get immune to it(thats what happens)and the only reason clouds hair is like that is cause he tried some of that shit and it was a bit much for him you see him and tifa were use to crystal meth as it was the only drug the had in nebilim(apart from weed)

No he's not. Barret was actualy the secret head of the Turks division at Shinra man!
"AVALANCH" was a moch rebel group designed by Shinra to keep an eye on rebelious citizens, Barret Wallace was just a cog in the machina! how do you think he was able to get to Cloud?! ((looks around suspiciously, runs around a corner)

how do you know that? Thats classified information

here is the least known secret in ff7 history: tifa's breasts are really natural, who knew?
also shinra inc is really an extremely softcore porn video industry, it stands for: sluts hidden in nearly revealing attire

aeris and tifa are really sisters as dats why tifa is mad in don corneos mansion when she helps cloud and clouds hair is like that because he was touching electric fences when he was younger

Cloud never learned to read T_T
Barret and Aeris wore the same shoes (shoe boxes...)
Tifa stuffs
ReD XIII always ran because the fire on his tail wasn't special effects
Vincent was so ashamed of his metal claw that he's get manicures on his other hand
Cid only smoked for pay

every actor had to wear shoe boxes on their hands and feet

And im supposing that Don Corneo took over Playboy from Hugh Hefner

And im supposing that Don Corneo took over Playboy from Hugh Hefner

dont be silly he took over Hustler magazine i think :)

And im supposing that Don Corneo took over Playboy from Hugh Hefner


dont be silly he took over Hustler magazine i think :)


No. Your both uninformed. He was stabbed in his crotch by Sephiroth after saying "yo moma" in a deleted scene from FF:AC. I saw it...



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(anonymous person: Barret is soft and gay!)


No he's not. Barret was actualy the secret head of the Turks division at Shinra man!
"AVALANCH" was a moch rebel group designed by Shinra to keep an eye on rebelious citizens, Barret Wallace was just a cog in the machina! how do you think he was able to get to Cloud?! ((looks around suspiciously, runs around a corner)



how do you know that? Thats classified information

I'm his brother, man! Good thing you can't see my face.

Cait Sith is a lesbian.

Ancients are actually human being that gain special powers from overuse of hair spray. So Cloud is basically an Ancient too.

I'm his brother, man! Good thing you can't see my face.
well if you were black like barret, then you wouldnt have blue eyes, can i get an amen?

Amen brother

The Meteor was really just big piles of burning shit from an airship

well if you were black like barret, then you wouldnt have blue eyes, can i get an amen?

No your wrong pal. I've got green eyes and there are plenty of black people out there with naturaly green eyes. Take your ass outside!

i havent met many Black males with green or blue eyes if any

I know 2 cats who do. And they are caramel complected. Somehow they naturaly have them even though it suggests a lack of melanin in their irisis. It happens....

Anyway, I saw Scarlett come onto Sephiroth and get tossed away by her wrist because he was disgusted at the way she threw herself at him. Every time I look at the guy he seems depressed and lonely. Is he gay? Is that why he threw that materia at Cloud's chest, because he was frustrated with Cloud's str8ness?

Cloud's not straight, I know because in the beginning he was sort of quiet when Barret was around. He did that because he was too busy think "Look at those muscles, they make him all the more sexier."

sephiroth was really a girl, as hojo gave him a sex change and didnt really infuse him with jenova cells, but something else....

tifa really is a slut, cauze she has breast implants

Cloud's hair is so sharp he can snap it off and use it as a sword. But he doesn't because yellow swords are stupid.

Er..yeah...well this is about the only thing i can post here....omg...

lol!!!

Aeris runs the company that employs Tifa as a hooker.