night after night I try to sleep,
hiding the tears I cannot weep

the past few days seemlike a dream
why so bad must things aways seem

why did u leave me, Im now alone
the reason for which I hav not know

slowly by the days have when't
all my joy seemingly spent

all I can do is wonder why
u left me then, not even goodbye

very good

Thanx. ^^

Apart from that it's horribly written, your spelling is even worse.

....that's a very interesting poem.... i like your good charloette hoody btw....

slowly by the days have when't

'When't' ? Anyway, that's a fairly awful line.

You're rhyming for the sake of it and choosing some really bizarre words and sentance structures so it rhymes.

Also, it's not a text message, u cud try writin in propa English ?!11

quiet you!! this could be the edgar allen poe of our generation.... you dare question his art.... wait, it is shit

Say, this poem is called Sorrow, I wonder if it's a generic badly written rhyme.


night after night I try to sleep,
hiding the tears I cannot weep

the past few days seemlike a dream
why so bad must things aways seem

why did u leave me, Im now alone
the reason for which I hav not know

slowly by the days have when't
all my joy seemingly spent

all I can do is wonder why
u left me then, not even goodbye
Winner!

End you writing career here.

Say, this poem is called Sorrow, I wonder if it's a generic badly written rhyme.


Winner!

End you writing career here.

Agreed, you should stop at the height of your carreer, because you'll never be able to tople it.

Wow, everyone around here are so nice and polite.

Well maybe we're just sick of everyone saying everything's 'great', when it's really not, merely to boost their postcounts.

Well maybe we're just sick of everyone saying everything's 'great', when it's really not, merely to boost their postcounts.
As you can quite easily see, you can also raise your postcounts through hatred.

Oh snap !~

*Hangs head in shame*

Anyway, if you want me to be nice.

Using proper English and adopting some originality in your subject will make things much nicer, sweetypie~~<3

I agree with that.

Maybe we're not being "nice" in your eyes, but finalfantasy 8 Rocks' comment is far worse. Besides, the idea of posting up your writings is to get comment, critique even, so that they can take that in consideration and become a better writer. Not just say; pretty good, when that's obviously lied when you look at the build of the poem.

That's my 2 cents for you.

Maybe we're not being "nice" in your eyes, but finalfantasy 8 Rocks' comment is far worse. Besides, the idea of posting up your writings is to get comment, critique even, so that they can take that in consideration and become a better writer. Not just say; pretty good, when that's obviously lied when you look at the build of the poem.

That's my 2 cents for you.
I'd say "I agree with that" falls into that category too.

oh, well. found a new forum and am leaving a few days anyway. so who cares. lol

Just learn to avoid the "u" short for "you". It annoys people, as you can see. And I hate the whole "who cares, I'm leaving ne way." attitude.

oh, well. found a new forum and am leaving a few days anyway. so who cares. lol

Have a safe trip.

oh, well. found a new forum and am leaving a few days anyway. so who cares. lol
Hopefully there they will lie to you.

You guys are the funniest people I have ever seen in my life. I could not help but keep laughing as I read all of your comments. Nice!

this is shit, please die

slowly by the days have when't


mimicking yoda != good poetry

Why do people post this shit? Don't the read it throughly and realize that it is incorrectly written and that it sucks?! Come on! "When't"?? What the fuck is When't? And why did you write "u" instead of "you"?

Great, no constructive criticism until you learn how to spell kid.