First, let me say that doing this really sucked. I hate fan-fiction with a burning passion and even being near this makes me feel dirty. Having my name on it makes it nearly unbearable. However, this is a matter of pride. It isn't polished at all because it's a single draft. Even so, it should be enough to make the desired point.

--Removed because it's a waste of my webspace--

Opinions about my writing style are welcome. Comments with no explanation or general stupidity will be mocked unless I think you're cool enough to get away with it.

Proper grammar and punctuation, but the story is basically more or less boring. You can have all the knowledge but if you lack the ability to tell an interesting story what’s the point? I know you dislike writing fanfics but overall your writing style is monotonous.

Same to all the harsh critics here, all they see is form and structure. None take the time to actually see the meaning behind anything.

Ex. ABAB rhyming scheme, misplaced paradox with and inconsistent homonym.

I write to express myself, simple as that. I follow grammar and punctuation as close as I can, but I feel if you tie yourself to forms and structure you will never think or write freely.

What did you expect? My objective was to write a stereotypical fanfic, after all. It was doomed to mediocrity from the moment I slapped together a cockamamie premise for it and set out to prove a point to certain morons who apparently don't even feel obligated to respond, despite their having goaded me into it.

But I think you've blurred the lines between poetry and other forms of writing a bit too much. They follow vastly different rules.

Interesting stories are all good and well but mean squat if you cant express them. Prak is correct. If you wish to write without restrictions to form or structure then stick to a narrative. Poetry requires certain devices (i.e metre, rhythm, rhyme) that a normal text does not.
I take slight offence to your claim that we dont 'take the time' to see beyond the structure of a poem. Yes the subject of the poem is important, however it is a matter of subjectivity. You cannot say 'Oh I like the theme of your poem' because that is mindless critique that offers no help at all. Thus one must judge poetry on its ability to communicate the theme, that is through structure, form, techniques and word choice.

hahaha

i cant believe we are talking about primary english here

*WOW* Prak you did'nt even let us read the damn thing

and you did'nt even tell us you was done with it

I said it was finished on the other thread as well as making this one, then left it up for two days before I took it down. :( If you truly care, then I could probably find a copy of it that survived the purge and PM it to you or something.

you did say it was finished? hmmm.....did'nt see that

yeah i would like to read it

Hey Prak.
If you'll find that copy of your fanfic, send me one. I also want ro read it.

Interesting stories are all good and well but mean squat if you cant express them. Prak is correct. If you wish to write without restrictions to form or structure then stick to a narrative. Poetry requires certain devices (i.e metre, rhythm, rhyme) that a normal text does not.
I take slight offence to your claim that we dont 'take the time' to see beyond the structure of a poem. Yes the subject of the poem is important, however it is a matter of subjectivity. You cannot say 'Oh I like the theme of your poem' because that is mindless critique that offers no help at all. Thus one must judge poetry on its ability to communicate the theme, that is through structure, form, techniques and word choice.

I'll give you that one, you actually made a real point. I'm still learning, trying to find my style and the proper way to go about my writing. But this is basically the best critique I have heard so far.