In this story you take on the role of the main character

Ok just a few things before I start one thing WF means Wolf form and HF means Human Form.

You are a girl (duh) your name is Star, you're 18, 5'6 and have a gorgeous body. Your wavy jet black hair goes just pass your shoulders, your left eye is sapphire blue and your right eye is jade green.
You wear dark red hip-hugger jeans and a black corset top that has wide straps.
In your WF, your fur is jet black, a patch of fur around your left eye (the blue one) is white and your paws are white.

Your in your WF standing on a large rock looking into the river. You see a fish, you keep very still, the fish gets closer and closer, when its close enough you jump in and catch it in your jaws. You make your way to the bank and sit on the grass under some trees, you are just about to eat your fish when you hear a twig snap behind you.
You turn quick as lighting, seeing a white wolf standing a few feet away from you.
You lay your ears low and start to growl showing your fangs.
"Who are you and what do you want?" You hiss.
"Its ok, I'm not going to hurt you" the strange wolf answers "My name is Kiba and I just want to talk."
~Yeah right~ you think.
Just then a wolf with sandy colour fur comes running out of the woods next to Kiba.
"Kiba why did you run off like that?" Asks the new wolf.
Kiba just nods his head in your direction. The new wolf turns to you
"Oh hello" he says "What's your name?"
"Star" you answer.
"I'm Hige" he replies, you just nod a hello.
"Where's Cheza and the others?" Kiba asks Hige but looking at you the whole time.
"She at the camp site with Tsume and Toboe." Hige answers
"Hey do I smell fish?" Ha asks as he looks around.
You look at your fish, you don't feel very hungry now
"Mmmm.... Here you can have it?" You say as you give Hige the fish.
"Wow thanks." He says with his mouth full of fish.
You just smile then look back at Kiba
"So what did you want to talk about?"
But before he could answer you, you hear a gun shot in the distance.
"Oh shit. No please no." You say and start to run in the direction you heard the shot.
You realise that there is someone running with you, you look to your side and see Kiba
"I just want to help." He says, you say nothing and just keep running.
You come up to a clearing, there you see three wolves fighting some hunters, you and Kiba join the fight.
Two of the wolves fall to the ground as you take out the last hunter. You look around to make sure there are no more, you don't see any. So you walk over to the only wolf standing (besides you and Kiba), when you see something out of the corner of your eye, you hear a deafening bang, the wolf you were walking towards falls to the ground.
You run over to the hunter who fired the shot, he try's to bring his gun up to shot you, but you were to fast. You lung at his throat you feel his blood run down your lips, he struggles, you hear his neck break, only then do you let him go. Kiba runs over to you
"Are you ok?" He ask
"Yes I'm fine" you say as you look past him at the three other wolves.
You run to the first two that fell, they are dead. You hear someone say your name very softly. You run over to the wolf you were walking towards before. He's alive but bearly.
"Knight" you say with tears in your eyes.
"I'm sorry little one" Knight says looking at you "I cant keep my promise."
"Oh Knight I don't care about the promise, just don't leave me please." You beg as you rub your head against Knights (you are still in WF)
"Don't cry little one. I will be waiting for you in Paradise." With those words Knight dies.
"Knight" you whisper
"Knight" you say a bit louder
"KNIGHT!" You scream.
You sit there and cry, you let out a howl so sad that anything hearing it could feel your sadness.
Kiba comes up to you and says
"We should go. There might be more hunters around."
You nod in agreement and look up at the moon that has just come out
"Please guide my pack to Paradise." You ask it, then you follow Kiba.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

So what you guys think? If you like it I'll put up more or PM them to you.

i read the first couple words and thought it was gonna be a sex story :-(

i read the first couple words and thought it was gonna be a sex story :-(
Well it is kind of a love story just with some ass kicking. But it is for girls, but guys can read it to.

It's quite tough to write a story when you're the main character. Writing in first person is much simpler and is very similar to commands that are addressed in the character's mind.
By always stating the word 'you,' can get boring and maybe even annoying.
In your story, these are commands, right?
When you write a story in first person, you are still entering the mind of the main character--thus there can be more descriptions placed.

But this part bothers me:
You are a girl (duh) your name is Star, you're 18, 5'6 and have a gorgeous body. Your wavy jet black hair goes just pass your shoulders, your left eye is sapphire blue and your right eye is jade green.
You wear dark red hip-hugger jeans and a black corset top that has wide straps.
In your WF, your fur is jet black, a patch of fur around your left eye (the blue one) is white and your paws are white.

Is this your intro or just an informative? I suggest you start easily instead of giving all the details in one go, begin with an itroduction that doesn't just describe the main character but the setting, etc. Later can you address the details of the main character.
If first person writing doesn't fit you then you can always refer to writing a script [straight forward descriptions] but anyways you're doing fine.

*I'd like to read more*

That wasn't so bad! That was pretty good!

Thanks Susanna. Yes that was just some informative.
Thanks to you too BS.
Well I'll go get part 2 and see what you guys think of that one.

No prob! We're here to help not just criticize!

*I can't wait to read the second part!*

Here is part 2. Please enjoy.

You two have been running for awhile when you ask Kiba
"Where are we going?"
"I told Hige to get the rest of my pack out of the area, we're going to meet them." He replies.
You and Kiba finally meet up with the rest of his pack.
You see a cave in the side of a mountain a wolf walks out just as you arrive, his fur is grey and has a X scar on his chest,
"What happen?" He asks Kiba looking at you.
"Her pack was killed by hunters." Kiba replies.
"Hey Toboe can you and Cheza come here." Kiba yells into the cave.
A wolf and a girl come out of the cave, the wolf has red/brown fur with silver bracelets in his right wrist, behind him is the girl who has pink hair and red eyes.
As they walk towards you the wolf changes into his HF.
"This is Toboe" say Kiba looking at the boy with red/brown hair, wearing a red jacket, green cargo pants and still has the silver bracelets on his right wrist.
"Over there is Tsume" you look over at the grey wolf he's in his HF, he's wearing a black leather biker jacket, slung black leather pants and he has silver hair.
"And this is Cheza." Kiba says as he walks over to the girl with pink hair and red eyes.
That's when you see Kiba's HF, he has blue eyes, dark brown wavy hair and is wearing blue jeans, a white shirt under a dark green flight jacket.
"And you know me." Says a voice to your left.
You turn to see a boy with sandy brown hair, wearing a yellow short-sleeve jacket with a hood over a dark green long-sleeve shirt and light grey sweat pants.
"Oh its you Hige" you say looking at him, he smiles back.
"So what's your name?" Ask Toboe
"Star" you reply.
"This one likes your name." Says the girl called Cheza, you nod and thank her.
"So what happen? Why did you run off when you heard those guns?" Hige asks as he looks at you then at Kiba.
You just sit there looking at the ground. Kiba tells them about the fight and your pack being killed.
Toboe comes over to you and puts his arms around your neck (your still in WF) giving you a hug,
"I'm sorry" he says, you lay your head his shoulder and whisper thank you in his ear.
He looks at you smiling, he turns to the others and asks
"Can she comes with us?"
Kiba nods a yes and Hige says
"Sure why not."
You ask them were they are going.
"Paradise." Says Toboe look at you with a big grin on his face
"You will come with us right. Please say you will." He begs.
"Paradise?" You say quietly to yourself, you hear Knights last words in your head
"I will be waiting for you in Paradise."
The word Paradise echoes around in your head. You snap out of your trance to see everyone looking at you
"Mmmm... Sorry about that" you say with a nervous laugh
"Thanks. I would love to go with you guys."
It starts raining so you all go into the cave. Toboe and Hige start play fighting at the back of the cave. You sit near the entrance. Kiba sits opposite you next to Cheza
"I'm sorry about your mate." Kiba tell you, you look at him confused
"My mate??" You echo, then suddenly you start to giggle, the boys stop playing and look at you even Tsume looks at you like your gone mad,
"You mean Knight" you continue "He wasn't my mate, he was my brother."
You go on to tell them about how your parents and the rest of the pack were killed Nobles, only you and your two brothers escaped.
You look at Toboe and Hige saying
"You two reminded me of them."
Toboe comes and lays next to you (he's in WF), looking at you he says
"If I had a sister I wish she would be like you."
You lick his face and whisper thank you.
You carry on with your story. You tell how you and your brother met two other wolves and you all decide to travel together. Your brother Knight was the oldest and the wisest so he became the leader, he said that the pack should try and find Paradise everyone agreed.
You tell them about how your little brother Sky died when he slipped and hit his head on a rock and fell into a river, he drown before anyone could get him out.
Then you tell them about coming into that valley after 5 days of non-stop running
"We thought we would be safe there until we had rested. I guess we were wrong. And Knight and the others paid they life's for it." You says finishing your story.
You look around at the others and see that they all looking at you with a sad face, except Cheza who is asleep leaning against Kiba.
Tsume was the next to speak
"We should get some sleep."
You all nod and one by one fall asleep.

its weird reading like that in 1st person perspective, but uv done a good job

Thank you very much.
I might make it so its not in the 1st person perspective.
Sorry part two was a bit boring but Star had to meet the gang. It gets better with some ass kicking.
Im going to get part 3 now.

*wow* SB your really good at making story's, really GOOD :cool:

Thank you FF8 rocks. It means a lot to me that you guys like this. *smiles*

Where is this fabled part 3? I'm getting into this!

Here is part 3

You dream that you're running through the woods. You come up to a clearing. As you step out of the line of trees you see the ground covered in blood. You see your brother Knight standing in the middle of the clearing, you see a hunter line his gun up at Knight. You try to yell and try to run to him but you don't get any closer, you hear a BANG! And Knight falls to the ground. You cry out his name as loud as your lungs would let you. The blood starts coming towards you, you try to run but you cant move. The blood starts creeping up your legs slowly covering your entire body.
You suddenly wake up, your heart is beating so much that it feels like its going to come out of your chest. You get up every slowly and carefully so that you don't wake Toboe, who had fallen asleep next to you, you start to go out of the cave when a voice asks
"Are you ok?"
You turn to see Kiba looking at you. You shake your head
"No. I.... Had.... I.... I'm just going to for a walk."
He just nods his head and goes back to sleep.

You walk through the woods, the dream plays over and over in your head. Shaking your head you say to yourself
"Enough. Time for some hunting."
Hunting always helps you to clear your head. By the time you have finish hunting you have caught a small but fat deer and 3 fat rabbits, you take them back to the cave.
Then you get back everyone one was just starting to wake up,
"Wow food." Says Hige has he see you.
"Did you catch these by yourself?" Asks Toboe with his eyes giving you a I-dont-believe-you look.
Kiba tells you
"Nice job"
Even Tsume nods his head in approval.
You smile and tell them to dig in, when you and the guys finish the meal you head off to a lake.
You and Toboe start play fighting. Toboe chases you up on a larger rock that leans over a very deep pool in the lake, he jumps at you hoping to pin you but you duck sending him into the lake.
You stand there watching him get out laughing, then Hige pushes you into the water. Everyone starts laughing, but you don't come up to the surface. Hige looks over the side of the rock to see if you were ok, but it to deep and dark he couldn't see in.
"Star" he says with worry in his voice.
Meanwhile you have change into your HF and have made your way round to the side of the rock where no one could see you. You hear Hige say your name so you jump up saying
"Here I am"
And you push him in before he could react. You stand there grinning as he comes up, you feel everyone's eyes on you
"What?" You ask
"Wow" says Toboe "We've never seen you in your HF before. Your really pretty."
You blush a deep crimson "Thanks" you reply shyly.
"Cute or not, I'm still going to get you. After her Toboe." Yells Hige.
You turn and run, they chase you round and round the lake but they couldn't catch you, you give a smirk to yourself, thinking
~Its a good thing I've lots of practice running from my brothers~
Your thoughts were cut off when Kiba catches you. He picks you up bridal style. You struggle in his arms and tell him to put you down. He smile at you and puts you down still holding on to your waist. You try to move but your right on the edge of the rock, if Kiba lets you go you will fall back into the water, you give him a Don't-You-Dare look, he just smiles down at you.
You hear Toboe and Hige at the waters edge yelling
"LET HER GO! LET HER GO!"
You start to giggle, Kiba gives you a strange look, you wrap your arms around him, lean in and whisper
"If I'm going in you're coming with me."
With that you throw yourself in taking him with you. You quickly surface and swim to the waters edge, but you weren't fast enough, you feel a hand grab your ankle pulling you back under the water, you turn to see Kiba's face inches from your own, you smile sweetly.
Suddenly you hear howls you quickly surface with Kiba beside you.

Well it is showing heaps of promise. The story is gripping. I am already wanting to read more. I agree with what was said about the beginning. It would be nice if you could sneak the relevent information about the lead character (you) into the story rather than give the info straight out. I am struggling to suggest a way to do it though. Anyways 4? :)

really good SB

I didnt tell you everything about lead character just what she looks looks like. Its more stuff that you'll just have to wait to find out.
Unless you have read this story on Quizilla where its up to part 8. Then you would know, if you have dont tell people here ok.

Ah ok I haven't...hmm does the story work better in installments? If it does I will wait for it here...otherwise I shall go and read the other parts...let me know! Thanks.

You dont have to go there and read them. I'll keep posting them here.
Ok Part 4.

You see about 12 wolves slowly encircling Toboe, Hige, Tsume, and Cheza. Both you and Kiba turn into your WF's and make your way to your pack.
The strange pack draws in closer, you all are standing in a circle with Cheza in the middle. The strange pack change into their HF's so you all do the same. When you change whispers come from some of the wolves.
The Leader of the strange pack walks towards you.
"My name is Ryo."
Tsume steps forward growling "What do you want with us?"
Ryo looks at each of you
"Nothing. We are known as the Wander Pack. We travel of town to town, if any wolf wishes to join us they are welcome."
"Well none of us want to join your pack. So leave us alone." Snaps Kiba.
Ryo steps back "I am sorry. I wasn't meaning that you or your pack should join us. We thought that this was your packs territory, and we came to ask if we could please stay and hunt here for the night?"
Tsume buts in "Its not our territory so you can do what you want."
"If that is the case then maybe we should join forces, for the night?" Ryo suggests.
Cheza is the first to answer "This one would like that."
Kiba shrugs his shoulders saying "If that's what Cheza wants then I don't care."
Some of the wolves go off to do some hunting, Tsume, Hige and Toboe go with them. Kiba stays close to Cheza, who is talking with Ryo. You go lay by the lake in the sun, the sun feels so nice on your face that you start to fall asleep.
You wake up feeling something curled next to you, you see a jet black pup, about 4 months old, he is so little for his age, sleeping next to you
~Must be the runt of the litter~
Ryo walks over to you with Kiba and Cheza.
"He likes you." Ryo continues "We found him curled up next to a dead wolf we think was his mother. He hasn't said a word since we found him. We don't even know his name."
You look at the sleeping pup
"I know how he feels." You whisper then you get up a leave.
Ryo looks at Kiba and asks "Did I say something wrong?"
Kiba shakes his head "She has just lost her pack too."
They watch you walk off into the woods alone.

You've been walking for about 15 minutes, you lean against a large boulder and close your eyes. You sense someone is near, you open your eyes and say
"I know you're there so show yourself."
A wolf in his HF steps out from behind a tree. You let out a gasp of surprise and fear. You know this wolf, his name is Dante, you and your brothers meet him about 2 months ago, he tried to make you his mate.
You turn to run but he garbs your arm and pushes you back against the boulder. You scream as loud as your lungs will let you, he hits you across the face, hard, making you stop. You glare at him with hate in your eyes, he looks at you and grins evilly, tightening his grip on your arm causing it to bleed. You cry out at the pain but the cry is cut off by his lips on yours. He kiss's you roughly, your eyes go wide in horror, you knee him in the groin, he winces and lets go of you, you run away as fast as you can.

really cool ^_^

I hate to be the guy that a) thought of this and b) points it out BUT when switching between HF and WF they can't possibly be wearing clothes. Won't this become a problem if you have to describe "more" of the characters? I can see that needing to happen at some point. However I don't mean to be objective. The story seems to be moving well. I am not sure what Wolf's Rain is so I can't give you originality points yet...anyways...do carry on!
p.s. I'm finding being a female werewolf thing kinda kinky...but don't tell anyone :P

I'll give you the ran down on Wolf's Rain.
Its about 4 wolves trying to find Paradise. Paradise is said to be a place where wolves can live in peace. Humans hate wolves. So to live with them wolves make a illusion of themselves as humans so they can walk around freey.
In my story I keep the fact that they can change but that they are really human in their human form. Has for the clothes. Just imagine that they make their fur into clothes, its easier to think that way.
Ok does that help you? Part 5 is on its way.

can't wait for part 5 ^_^

This is great...I get to download mp3s...and read installments of this pretty good story...although im worried what the 1.5 litres of dr pepper I drank will do to me. My story sample hasn't generated this interest! I must not be forum scene enough!

Part 5

RECAP:
You glare at him with hate in your eyes, he looks at you and grins evilly, tightening his grip on your arm causing it to bleed.
You cry out at the pain but the cry is cut off by his lips on yours. He kiss's you roughly, your eyes go wide in horror, you knee him in the groin, he winces and lets go of you, you run away as fast as you can.

(Back to the others) Ryo, Kiba and Cheza watch you walk off into the woods alone. 10 minutes go by and the hunting party come back.
Toboe goes over to Kiba
"Where's Star?" He asks.
Kiba answers "I don't know. She went for a walk about 10 minutes ago."
"We should go find her before the foods all gone." Says Toboe.
Kiba agrees and they go off the find Star. They spilt up and look through the woods, about 5 minutes later they still hadn't found you.
Kiba starts to worry, then he hears you scream, he run off in the direction it came of, Toboe also heard it and does the same thing.
(Back to Star) Your running through the woods, your vision is blurred by tears of pain, you trip over roots and logs. You end up running straight into Kiba
"Star what's...."
He stops and sees the bruise on your face and the deep scratches on your bleeding arm, he looks into your scared eyes.
You hear a noise behind you, you see to see Dante grinning at you and Kiba.
"Give me the she-wolf boy and I might let you live." Demands Dante.
"You... you did this to Star? Why?"
Kiba's voice sounds angry and confused at the same time. Dante looks at you
"Because I want her as my mate." He says evilly.
You start to shake uncontrollably. Kiba sees you shaking, he puts his hand on your shoulder and pulls you behind him. Kiba turns into his WF and starts to growl protectively.
Toboe and Ryo arrive
"What's going on here?" Asks Ryo looking at Kiba and Dante.
Toboe looks at you and gives a gasp
"Star what happened to your face and arm?"
You are still shaking, you cant seem to stop,
"He tried to make me his mate by..."
Your voice gives up on you and you cant finish what you were saying.
Toboe hugs you, trying to help you stop shaking.
Kiba, who as changed back into his HF, comes and stands next to you looking at you with sorrow.
"Dante what is the meaning of this?!?!" Yells Ryo.
Dante just laughs "I was just keeping a promise."
Everyone but you looks at him puzzled at what he said. Kiba puts his hand on your shoulder
"Star what's he talking about?"
You stop shaking and look up at him then back at the ground "Me and my brothers met him not long after we joined forces with the two other wolves. He told us he was a nomad, so we let him join our pack."
You start to shiver, Toboe holds your hand so you continue
"He tried to make me his mate then too, but my brothers drove him away. Before he ran off he said that he would be back to get me and that he would make my brothers pay."
Dante starts a evil laugh saying
"And pay they did."
You stare at him in terror
"W.. w.. what do you mean?" You ask voice shaking.
"Poor little Sky. Hitting his head on a rock and then drowning in the river. What bad luck." Dante laughs harder
"And I wonder how the hunters found Knight and the others."
All this he says sarcastically and laughs.
"You... you did it?" You ask in disbelief.
Dante becomes deadly serious and he says
"I had to keep my promise."
You feel anger and pain growing inside you, you lust for his death, to taste his blood in your mouth, to kill him.

can't wait for part 6

5 was much better than 4...although...it is getting tricky to remember which Wolf is which. When they talk...maybe if some of them spoke in slang...ie one of the packs spoke differently to another that way you could easily spot who is who! Just another idea...how many parts in total is this by the way?

So far 8. That all Ive made but Ive had soooooo many people message at quizilla to make more. If you like the see these parts in they original forms just go to my homepage and go to quizlist up the top.

I think it is your duty to post at least 1 part a night on here since I have nothing to do and I'm enjoying reading it. FinalFantasy8Rocks or whatever he or she is called also likes it. So do it!

neosavedtheworld, I'm a guy,

Part 6

RECAP:
"You... you did it?" You ask in disbelief.
Dante becomes deadly serious and he says
"I had to keep my promise."
You feel anger and pain growing inside you, you lust for his death, to taste his blood in your mouth, to kill him.

You launch yourself at him, Kiba stops you by wrapping his arms around your waist, you kick and scream telling him to let you go, he responds by holding you more tightly to him.
You stop kicking but continue to yell and swear.
Tsume comes running up to you, Kiba, Toboe and Ryo
"What's going on? I heard screaming."
Toboe answers him "Dante tried to make..."
Ryo cuts him off "We'll tell you later. Right now we have to deal with Dante."
Ryo looks at Dante "You are banished from the pack, you are to leave the area now, if you don't I will kill you."
"So will I." Says Kiba, who is still holding you.
"And me." Puts in Toboe.
"Hell if its a fight count me in." Adds Tsume.
Dante looks at the 4 wolves, he knows he no match for all of them, he turns and runs, blowing you a kiss as he leaves.
Once Dante in out sight and smell Tsume asks
"Can someone tell me what the hell is going on?" He looks at you.
You hang your head and start to cry, going limp in Kiba's arms. Kiba pick's you up bridal style and turns to walk back to the lake saying
"We'll tell you when we get back, that way Hige and Cheza can hear what happened as well."
Tsume nods and follows Kiba back to the lake. Hige and Cheza come up to you
"What happen? What's wrong with Star?" Asks Hige.
Kiba puts you down next to a tree and answers him
"She was attacked."
Hige looks at you shocked
"WHAT?! By who?"
"Lets get some food first, then we'll talk about it." Says Kiba as he gets up.

Kiba, Tsume and Hige go over to the 2 deer's that the hunting party caught and start to tear off large chucks to bring back to you and to others. While they are doing that Toboe and Ryo stay with you.
Ryo is the first to speak
"Star I am very sorry for what happened today."
You look at him "I don't blame you. You didn't know he was going to do that."
Ryo still looks sorry
"Even so I should have been watching...."
You stop him by standing up to leave. Toboe garbs your good arm, looking at you with concerned eyes, you put your hand on his
"I'm just going to go sit down by the lake." You tell him.
You leave with your head hanging low, you walk pass Kiba, Tsume and Hige who were coming back with the food. They watch you go and sit by the lake edge.
Tsume, Hige and Cheza listen as Kiba, Ryo and Toboe tell them about what happened. You hear Tsume swear now and again.
You look at your arm to see three deep long claws marks.
"Well at least they have stopped bleeding." You say to yourself quietly.
You feel someone sit next to you, you turn to see the jet black pup again. He looks at your wounds with worry and concern in his little eyes. You give him a weak smile and say
"Don't worry it will heal."
He walks off, you give a shrug and lay on your back looking at the sky and watch the stars come out.
You hear someone walking over to you, you sit up and see the pup with part of a deer leg in his mouth, he gives it to you, and turns into his HF (this is the first the you have seen him in his HF).
You see a boy 9 or 10 years old with short black hair and sad dark brown eyes, he's wearing blue pants with a gold flame thing up the sides, a matching jacket with a hood and a black T-shirt underneath (its the outfit Jin wears in Tekken 4).
You look at the meat and say
"Thanks, but I don't feel like eating."
"You should try to eat a little bit at least." The little pup says.
You look at him with shock
"So you do speak"
He just nods his head.
"So what's your name?" You asks
"Jin" he replies
"It's nice to meet you Jin, I'm Star" you say giving him a smile.
He smiles back
"Nice to met you too. You should try and eat, it will help you feel better. I'll go and find some herbs for your wounds."
He runs off before you can say anything. You pick off some meat from the leg Jin bought you and make yourself eat it.
Time goes by and Jin hasn't come back yet, you get worried. You feel very uneasy

Sorry finalfantasy8rocks...I shudda checked your profile...anyways...interesting development. Scrap the bloke from Tekken's clothing designs though. That did nothing for me. Anyways I'm off to bed...try not to jump too far ahead without me :) Laters.

so far so GOOD

You have various grammatical mistakes. Your spelling is reasonably sound, but your descriptions are repetetive and uninventive.

Not bad, but not good either.

That coming from you mmm is like gold to me.
Thank you.

wow, pretty cool SB it you keep this up you just might have a pretty nifty novel. keep up the good work!

Thank you so much guys. *hugs all her friends* Now how to get the others here.

just start annoying people and randomly pm them to tell them about it. lol hmm...then again maybe thats not a good idea.

I try to get them to my homepage and they still didnt go. All my stories are there.

PART 7

RECAP:
"So what's your name?" You asks
"Jin" he replies
"It's nice to meet you Jin, I'm Star" you say giving him a smile.
He smiles back
"Nice to met you too. You should try and eat, it will help you feel better. I'll go and find some herbs for your wounds."
He runs off before you can say anything. You pick off some meat from the leg Jin bought you and make yourself eat it.
Time goes by and Jin hasn't come back yet, you get worried. You feel very uneasy.

"Something is wrong." You say as you reach the others.
They look at you confused, you don't notice and start pacing and say
"I'm going to go find him."
Toboe puts his hand on your shoulder making you stop pacing and asks
"Star what are you talking about?"
"The black pup Jin. He went off to find herbs and he hasn't come back." You reply.
You go wolf and follow Jin scent before anyone could stop you.
(Back to the Others) Hige looked at you leave he looks back at the others asking
"Who is she talking about?"
Ryo answers him
"We find a black pup awhile ago, he's never talked to us so we don't know his name."
Kiba hasn't taken his eyes off the direction you went
"I'm going after her. That Dante might still be around." He say as he leaves.

(Back to you) You sniff the air, you can smell Jin
"I'm getting closer." You whisper.
Then you smell a other scent
"Blood?" You ask puzzled
"No please no JIN!" You yell as you run.
You finally reach him
"JIN!" You say as you see him.
He's in WF, you change into HF
"Jin" you say in a whisper crying as you kneel down beside him.
You see his leg covered in blood. You hold your breath as you put your hand on his little chest. You give a sigh of relief as you feel his chest move up and down.
You hear someone behind you laugh, you freeze up
"Dante" you whisper.
"The one and only." He says evilly.
You get up and face him
"YOU DID THIS?!?!" You yell at him with hatred in your voice.
He smiles "I had to get you here somehow."
You turn wolf and so does he. You hang your hand so he cant see your face or your eyes
"You killed my Brothers, you hurt me and now you have hurt Jin."
You look up at him, your eyes glowing with a strange darkness
"I'll make you pay." You say in a deadly voice.
You run at him and catch him off guard, knocking him to the ground. You bear your fangs, longing for his blood.
Before he can run you bite down on his back leg. He lets out a yep and turn on you biting your shoulder, you roll over making him let go.
He slash at you with his claws leaving 3 deep bloody marks across your face.
You keep advancing, your eyes glowing even more darkly.
"My Brothers did you a favour by kicking you out of the pack."
You voice is now strange like two voice's in one.
"Now no one is here to stop me from killing you."
The whole time you were talking you were walking up to him, so you are nearly nose to nose.
He turns to run but you catch him by the throat. You feel your fangs go slowly into flesh, his blood runs in your mouth and down your neck. He claws at you but you don't let down, you feel nothing.
You see Kiba come out of the trees. He looks at you and then at Dante struggling in your jaws.
You just stare at Kiba with glowing dark eyes and close your jaws firmly killing Dante.
As you feel Dante's body go limp your eyes go back to normal and you let his dead body fall to the ground.
You look up at Kiba, his eyes are wide looking at Dante's body then he looks at you. You look away ashamed that he saw you like that.
You go back to Jin and start licking his wounds. His eyes open slowly and he whispers your name, you rub your head against his saying
"Its ok I'm here I'll look after you."
Jin falls asleep. You turn human and pick him up and the herbs that he had dropped. You start to walk back to the others at the lake then Kiba speaks up
"Star what just happened? You were acting weird."
You stop walking and look back at him asking
"What did you see?"
"You eyes were glowing with a strange darkness and your voice was different." He replies.
You let out a sad sigh
"I should have told you guys before, but I was scared that you guys wouldn't like me."
He puts his hand on your shoulder
"Tell me."
You nod and tell him.

y not start a thread and tell everyone to go to your site and read your stories

because it will probably be ridiculed. Just put it in your sig and hope people notice it

COOL SB

Its in my profile, so if you want to go to my homepage just use the link there.

Ok here is Part 8. This is the last part that I have writin up there are more they just might take a while to put up cause I'm trying to finish another story first ok. Well here you go.

Part 8

RECAP:
You stop walking and look back at him asking
"What did you see?"
"You eyes were glowing with a strange darkness and your voice was different." He replies.
You let out a sad sigh
"I should have told you guys before, but I was scared that you guys wouldn't like me."
He puts his hand on your shoulder
"Tell me."
You nod and tell him.

"When my Mother was pregnant with me, she was caught by Nobles. They did strange things to her. My Father and the rest of the pack broke into the lab and rescue her. Everyone thought that the experiments failed cause nothing was wrong with my Mother. But when I was born they then knew something was up."
Kiba looks at you and asks "How?"
You look at him "Well for one no one in my family has black fur, but I do. Two look at my eyes they a two different colours. But those are just the little things. I have this strange power. That gives me strong beyond that of a normal wolf and I don't feel pain. I only get the power if someone I care for is in danger. But when I get the power sometimes I cant control it. That really scares me."
By now you have made it back to the lake. Most of the Wander Pack are in their own groups sleeping or falling asleep. You make your way over to your pack.
Carefully you lay Jin on the ground in the warmth of the fire. You clean his wound then you make the herbs he found into a paste and put them on his leg. As you treat Jin you tell the others what you told Kiba, when you finish you leave them to think about what you just told them. You make your way to the edge of the woods, were you are alone, and lean up against a tree and fall asleep.

You weren't asleep long when the sound of footsteps coming towards you woke you up. You open one of your eyes a tiny bit to saw who it is.
Kiba is walking over to you with Jin in his arms. When he is next to you he sets the pup down. Jin gets on your lap and falls asleep. You look down at the sleeping pup, your heart goes out to him. You look up at Kiba, he says
"Jin woke up and saw you over here. He tried to walk over but he kept falling down, so I bought him over."
"I don't know why he likes me. When he finds out what I am he wont want to be near me."
Kiba looks at you, you're looking up at the stars. Before he can say anything you continue
"I can understand if you and the guys don't want me travelling with you anymore."
Kiba tilts your head so you are looking to his face. He gently wipes the cuts on your cheek with a wet cloth, you wince.
"Sorry." He whispers and goes on "We want you to stay with us."
You look at him surprised
"Really?" You ask, your voice barely louder than a whisper. He smiles
"Of course." He replies.
You put your arms around Kiba and hug him tight
"Thank you." You whisper as you hug him.
He hugs you back. You draw away and a tear rolls down your cheek, Kiba sees it and wipes it away, he smiles
"We should get some rest."
You nod in agreement and lean back against the tree and fall asleep.
Halfway through the night you wake up, you don't know why, something felt strange. You suddenly realise that you are no longer leaning against the tree. You are leaning to your side against Kiba, your head resting on his shoulder, you go to sit up but you feel something around your waist holding you to him. You look down and see Kiba's arm around you, you blush but go back to sleep.

can't wait for part 9 ^_^

all of em' were awesome, SB

Looking forward to seeing where this goes! It certainly has made me want to check out Wolf's Rain. Shame we now have to wait a while for the next part...oh well...keep writing!

Sephiroth's Bride, I really enjoy your writing. It's a bit confusing, since it's in first person, but I think it has a positive effect. I visualize the setting better, this way. It's also different from a lot of other writers, because most people don't do this. I like it, keep it up. :)

Thanks neosavedtheworld and Lunatic HighVII.
Im glad you two like it. I will try and get the next part out soon.

very good sb, you just might have something here. =)

Nice one SB.
You should put up your YuGiOh one. You know the one about them in College.